User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:46:07 AM EDT
[#1]
"If you're fuckin' any of those girls I hope you know what a rubber is."
I was 15. And did. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:49:11 AM EDT
[#2]
Not my dad, but my great grandpa--
When I was young, like 6 or 7, I hated eating the crust of my sandwiches. My great grandpa would tell me that the crust is what would help me be able to whistle better. My great grandpa could whistle like a champ and I really wanted to be able to whistle like him. I ate a ton of bread crust after that and, to this day, still cannot whistle worth a shit. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:49:46 AM EDT
[#3]
"The older you get, the smarter I get" Didn't register for a long time, but he was right.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:51:39 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We fished a lot together years ago when I was very young. I can still hear him when I would get a mess in my line from the old spinning reels ......"Jeeeeezus Christ". Makes me smile when I recall those times, especially when I would catch myself saying it to my own kids.  Ha, yes, I used to fish with my dad all the time. Whenever I would complain about not catching anything he would say "It's because you aren't holding your mouth right". I laugh about it now because I am the one saying it. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:51:54 AM EDT
[#5]
My dad pinned his badge on me when I graduated the Academy( same Dept. ). He said " I never tarnished this badge and you better not either".
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:51:56 AM EDT
[#6]
" you should've been a stain on the wall"
 ............
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:55:09 AM EDT
[#7]
I love you and am proud of you. That meant more than anything else.
Shit Happens, wipe it off and move on. Good lesson |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:55:43 AM EDT
[#8]
"women are like light poles, there's one around every corner."
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:57:42 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A bunch of lies. He has told them so many times he believes them and has become a legend in his own mind and to the naive. Sad actually. For a kid to doubt his dad, because the dad (thinking it is "funny") pumps the kid full of shit, goes beyond sad. It's one thing to kid around, but make sure the kid knows you're kidding. If a boy can't trust what his dad tells him, that is not a good thing. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:58:50 AM EDT
[#10]
"The law is a set of rules that depend on who you are, where you live, and how much money you have."
Which may well be true, but is the sort of classic victim-speak commonly repeated by my father. Most of the sh*t he said was about blaming other people and "them" for anything he didn't like in life. The lesson I learned was to not be a blamer like him. My brother, on the other hand, is even worse than my father, blaming "the system", his family, his employers, etc. for his miserable life when in reality he his living the consequences of his choices. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:58:50 AM EDT
[#11]
Double tap.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:01:19 AM EDT
[#12]
When I was about 12 we were driving down the road on our way to a boy scout meeting, I was in my little uniform with my book in hand....he says "son, do you know what a cunt is?"
Um, no.... "It's the opening to a woman's vagina" ... there was no more conversation on our ride. That always struck me as odd.
My dad is/was a great dad, he just said lots of inappropriate things.
One of my other favorites: "your mother had nice legs and she said she didn't want kids so we got married, then a couple years later she changed her mind. I couldn't afford to get divorced again so here you are" |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:02:37 AM EDT
[#13]
"Hang around shit long enough and you'll start smelling like it".
Smart man, sometimes a change of friends is required. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:02:54 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"The law is a set of rules that depend on who you are, where you live, and how much money you have." Which may well be true, but is the sort of classic victim-speak commonly repeated by my father. Most of the sh*t he said was about blaming other people and "them" for anything he didn't like in life. The lesson I learned was to not be a blamer like him. My brother, on the other hand, is even worse than my father, blaming "the system", his family, his employers, etc. for his miserable life when he reality he his living the consequences of his choices. T'was ever thus. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:06:31 AM EDT
[#15]
"First day at the new school, look for the biggest kid and just start beating on him. No one will fuck with you the rest of the time your there"
20 years after graduation, that big bastard is one of my closest friends  |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:07:12 AM EDT
[#16]
The only thing you really own that is yours, is your reputation. Nobody can take it from you, but you can give it away. If you do give it away, you will never get it back.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:07:56 AM EDT
[#17]
" if you can't make it in 40, you ain't gonna make it in 48".
" boy, you know better then that". |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:08:00 AM EDT
[#18]
Women are like pop cans in an alley, some just have more dents.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:11:52 AM EDT
[#19]
Work smarter, not harder
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:12:28 AM EDT
[#20]
He had many but, "Never date a red head" or "Never date a woman who drives a truck" stick out the most.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:13:29 AM EDT
[#21]
My dad's advice on spending money: avoid a champagne appetite on a beer budget.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:14:00 AM EDT
[#22]
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
Do as I say, not as I do. As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I say. (I moved out the next day) |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:15:15 AM EDT
[#23]
Never marry a redhead, a woman with more than two cats, or a woman who's into horses. You can date them, just don't marry them.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:19:58 AM EDT
[#24]
Be careful of the girls you screw on Okinawa, she might be your sister.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:24:45 AM EDT
[#25]
"I'll tell you how you can have just about everything you want, don't get married"
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:28:47 AM EDT
[#26]
Eat your peas, they'll put lead in your pencil
Don't piss on an electric field fence You screw it, you bought it Other than the mechanics and logistics I was taught, the rest was full of the above; mostly how to get through life with your dick and reputation intact |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:31:16 AM EDT
[#27]
His favorite..
"Wish in one hand and shit in the other....see which one fills up first." |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:34:36 AM EDT
[#28]
1. When love falls in shit it sticks.
2. You could put one moron in a packed Yankee Stadium and your sister would find him. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:35:51 AM EDT
[#29]
For some odd reason when he went to the liquor store he said he "was going to see a man about a bird dog".
Some as yet unbreakable code of his I guess. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:45:44 AM EDT
[#30]
"It's not paranoia, they are out to get you, and they'd kill you if they could..."
He told me that many times, and I always understood what he meant. .. I guess that sounds weird... I really don't remember my dad actually saying too much to me before I turned 14... to be honest he was rarely not working, and if he was off, he wasn't home... when I was 14, I started j.r.o.t.c. and he opened up a bit. .mostly about leadership and things like that. .. Oh well. .. I'm a huge disappointment to the old man, I'm sure... |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:49:04 AM EDT
[#31]
GIVE ME that switchblade !
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:50:58 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
For some odd reason when he went to the liquor store he said he "was going to see a man about a bird dog".
Some as yet unbreakable code of his I guess. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_a_man_about_a_dog |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:54:36 AM EDT
[#33]
"Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful."
"If you don't get caught [or convicted] it never happened." "Do unto others before they do unto you." "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Funny this topic came up today. It was exactly 10 years ago, during Katrina, that I dropped him off at the place he was staying in Detroit before he split town. Told him to take care of himself as he got out of my truck. Never saw him again, and he was dead a year later. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:55:51 AM EDT
[#34]
By.
Step dad, No unnecessary noise, take your time check your bar. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:56:26 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
"Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful." "If you don't get caught [or convicted] it never happened." "Do unto others before they do unto you." "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Funny this topic came up today. It was exactly 10 years ago, during Katrina, that I dropped him off at the place he was staying in Detroit before he split town. Told him to take care of himself as he got out of my truck. Never saw him again, and he was dead a year later. Care to share any more of the story? |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 11:59:43 AM EDT
[#36]
My sister once jokingly told my dad that she though she was adopted. Dad didn't bat an eye when he replied "you think I would've picked you if I had a choice?"
He once told me "if you're not in bed by 10:00, you might as well get up and go home." |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:04:56 PM EDT
[#37]
"Ignore the pain".
Was never allowed any pain killers of any kind even in hospital after car accident. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:08:05 PM EDT
[#38]
My Dad, now 80 and doing well, wasn't big on platitudes; he got his message across through stories and example. I am the man I am today because I molded myself on his example, and I've tried to do the same for my own children.
I am so fortunate to have him and my mother still. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:09:04 PM EDT
[#39]
"Unfuck your head, son".
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:10:43 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To understand the man, read what I posted here http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1781770_Tell_us_a_good_story_about_your_parents.html&page=2#i55314364 It explains why he believes what he believes He is 77 years old and still working, refuses to draw social security because he doesn't believe in it, etc Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: If you're only working 40 hours a week, you aren't really working To understand the man, read what I posted here http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1781770_Tell_us_a_good_story_about_your_parents.html&page=2#i55314364 It explains why he believes what he believes He is 77 years old and still working, refuses to draw social security because he doesn't believe in it, etc Respect... although I'd still draw it, he paid in, leaving it in there only lets the system ride longer to a crash. My dad never expressly said that, but he demonstrated it his entire career. Worked his way up from the bottom and I rarely saw him during the work week growing up. Usually on a train before 5AM and lucky if he was home in time for dinner between 7 and 8PM. While a lot of people say they think dads should be around, working that hard for his family, setting that example, taught me more about life than any dinner time conversation could have. My mom is the same way now - my dad wasn't credentialed for the work he was doing, worked his way up, and come 2008 when his office shuttered nobody would touch a guy in his 60s who didn't have the right boxes checked. However, due to the need to pay their way through some serious health issues, my mom went back to work. She works the same hours he did now. Hell of a set of parents I drew. I wish I could make their lives easier, but their endurance and focus is one of the things that prevented me from going way off the tracks. I certainly know I could have, but while they never shamed me I was always terrified at the notion I wouldn't deserve what they gave me or I wouldn't be in a place to make their lives better in thanks some day. I'm still working on it but I believe I'll get there. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:12:54 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Care to share any more of the story? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
"Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful." "If you don't get caught [or convicted] it never happened." "Do unto others before they do unto you." "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Funny this topic came up today. It was exactly 10 years ago, during Katrina, that I dropped him off at the place he was staying in Detroit before he split town. Told him to take care of himself as he got out of my truck. Never saw him again, and he was dead a year later. Care to share any more of the story? It's somewhere back in the archives. He came to live with me June 2004, out of the blue. He was managing a storage place in California (on-site manager for 21+ years) and the place closed down. He was 85 years old, so I told him to come live with me and my son. He pretty much discarded his kids back in 1971, and hadn't seen any of them but me in the intervening years. The 14 months he lived with us was horrible (as you can probably guess by his life philosophy quotes above). Came in thinking he was running the show, especially with my high school aged son. Then he was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer, and his health began to go downhill rapidly. He ended up flipping out and pulling a knife on my son, in our house. I moved him into a seniors apartment complex until I could find him a spot in a veteran's home (he was a WWII vet). He didn't like that, wanted to do his own thing, so he rented a car, packed his meager shit and left a few days after I saw him last. Month or so later I get a call from the New Mexico Veterans Home that he was there and had been admitted. He ended up getting stopped here in Michigan for a traffic violation, and the sheriff's department helped get him on a plane, he specified Albuquerque for some reason. A year later the cancer got him, he told his case worker that he didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't hold a grudge like he did, got him cremated and my brothers and I buried him ourselves with his parents and grandparents in Indiana. Even got him his veteran's grave marker. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:13:24 PM EDT
[#42]
"Damn fine drinkin' weather today."
Rain, snow, sunny, cold or hot. It was always damn fine drinkin' weather.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:15:35 PM EDT
[#43]
Boy, you got diarrhea of the mouth.
Never pay retail. Buy the best. You'll never regret it. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:25:20 PM EDT
[#44]
"If you are not willing to accept the truth (referring to being a Jehovah's Witness) then you are not welcome in our home"
My parents are Jehovah's witnesses and at 18 I was homeless, without family, and only had the clothes on my back with me. Now in my 30's I am extremely educated and learned how to work hard and really make it in this world. Best thing that ever happened to me was to be a free thinker and learn to survive young. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:25:27 PM EDT
[#45]
As a child: "Never start the fight, but always finish it."
When I became an adult: "If it's not worth dying over, it's not worth fighting over. If it's worth dying over, kill the motherfucker first." |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:30:10 PM EDT
[#46]
*You have to have visited the San Jacinto monument in Houston for this to make sense*
My dad jokingly told me that at the battle of San Jacinto, it was going pretty well for the Mexicans until the Battleship Texas pulled up and started shelling the hell out of them. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:31:56 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A bunch of lies. He has told them so many times he believes them and has become a legend in his own mind and to the naive. Sad actually. I didn't know I had a brother! |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:33:06 PM EDT
[#48]
"the bigger they are the harder they fall".
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:36:34 PM EDT
[#49]
Regarding work...
"If you got one boy, you got a whole boy. If you got two boys, you got half a boy. If you have three boys, you ain't got no boy at all." Aviator |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:41:48 PM EDT
[#50]
You can shit in one hand, and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.
|
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
