User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:23:25 PM EDT
[#1]
A fully-uniformed mannequin. The cop car was on the side of the road, with the dummy in the driver's seat*. I guess it was to scare people into behaving.
*Yeah, yeah, "and where was the mannequin?" I know... |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 12:26:53 PM EDT
[#2]
A naked guy partially wrapped in aluminum foil who was arrested for vagrancy (mainly as a personal safety issue) who said he was "building a nest" alongside a busy highway.
No,BTW he DIDN'T have a dog and the dog DIDN'T get shot, smartasses. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 2:42:12 PM EDT
[#3]
A chick who had created a saran wrap bikini as part of what was supposed to be a saucy present for her husband, but who ended up locking her keys in her car and thus locking herself out of her own house. She managed to wave us down as we drove by. She really did appear to be about to die of embarassment.
A man who was married to 3 OTHER women in two states in addition to the woman he was married to in the house. He was also having sex with the 14 year old daughter in the house, with the mother's full knowledge. The funny thing was that he was the ugliest bastard you could imagine. A set of precious moments figurines. Some idiot broke into someone's house and stole ONLY a bunch of precious moments figurines. Several "marital aids" that had been found on a really skanky transvestite prostitute. A sex shop owner identified shim as the thing that shoplifted them from his store. The transvestite's explanation was that fake penises were one of his "rights" under the constitution. It was a rookie officer's first arrest on the force. For the better part of 3 months the "dilldo fairy" followed him around, ensuring that almost every time he opened a drawer or went into his gym bag, he found some sort of dilldo. They ranged from the impossibly big until the true masterwork, several dilldos arranged tastefully into a crown, with a label on it "King of the dilldo fairies". |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 2:49:35 PM EDT
[#4]
Jerk Off.  |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 2:53:02 PM EDT
[#5]
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 2:54:55 PM EDT
[#6]
|
||||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 2:58:46 PM EDT
[#7]
that they often go in convenient marts and stand around the corner in the back and drink coffee and talk while the keys are in it with it running outisde and unlocked.
I'm surprized more people don't drive off in them and park them somewhere out of the way. |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:02:54 PM EDT
[#8]
Stealing a cop car is pretty much a guarantee of a serious ass-whoopin and a plethora of charges filed against you in addition to the whoopin. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:05:44 PM EDT
[#9]
Kharn |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:06:09 PM EDT
[#10]
Drunken fat chick, crying and snotting all over herself, dressed like a complete tart, in clothes four sizes too small for her.
Not pretty. |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:08:54 PM EDT
[#11]
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:12:34 PM EDT
[#12]
didn't know that, I don't think the police have those around here though, they aren't the most hi tech units. Maybe they do I'm not gonna be the 1 to test it.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:13:01 PM EDT
[#13]
 That was wrong.........But I lauged my ass of at that one. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:15:31 PM EDT
[#14]
In our cars if you are seated in the front passengers seat and open the glove box you get hit in the shins with a computer printer. I always warn the ride-a-longs and they always open it to try to stash a snack or a flashlight by the end of the shift anyway. Whack! 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:18:54 PM EDT
[#15]
I know, nobody ever takes the bait. Thats actually my preferred method of DUI enforcement. Stand around at Circle-K or 7-eleven sipping coffee at about 0150 hours. Wait for the car that crashes into the parking block, several empty beer cans fall out when the door opens and the driver staggers towards the door trying to meet the 2AM cut off for alcohol sales. You dont get many .08% DUI's that way. But you can get a .16% or higher just about every night. The DA must think all i do is stand around drinking coffee by this point. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:35:08 PM EDT
[#16]
About 4 Lexan? riot shields drilled in each corner and wired together to make one super thick shield.
For the life of me, I can't imagine a situation in which it would be used
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:37:25 PM EDT
[#17]
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:37:47 PM EDT
[#18]
A FULL box of donuts...
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 3:53:54 PM EDT
[#19]
Make sure you use the radar gun! 27 MPH |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:15:29 PM EDT
[#20]
+1 |
|||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:23:06 PM EDT
[#21]
Saw a female officer putting on make up while sitting at a red light.
I guess you need to look good when cuffing and stuffing.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:27:26 PM EDT
[#22]
Have they stopped doing this to you yet?
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 4:52:45 PM EDT
[#23]
The reason we did it that way at my dept, was that the rifle had to be unloaded at the end of your shift, If you inserted a loaded mag, even if you did not chamber a rd you still had to take it would of the rack and clear it before turning the car over to the next shift. So if we stuck the mag in that way, then we never "technically" loaded the rifle and did not have to take it out of the rack and clear it after each shift. Ya kow what I mean? |
||||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 5:01:44 PM EDT
[#24]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:15:59 PM EDT
[#25]
I had to transport a drunk one time who shit all over himself. He had to get medically cleared after crashing into an off duty officer's car with the officer and his fiance in it. The guy ran from the scene, only to be chased by the off duty officer and one of our Sgts. The guy got sprayed with OC and was "escorted" to the ground in a not so pleasant way, thus forcing him to shit all over himself.
After he got cleared at the ER, I had him wrapped in layers upon layers of red biohazard plastic from his chest to his ankles. As he walked into the county jail, he reminded me of Mortisha Adams in a tight ankle length dress cuz he had to take tiny steps. Charged him with DUI, leaving the scene of a crash involving injuries, resisting arrest with violence, open alcoholic container(s), no driver license, no insurance, and no registration. |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:18:25 PM EDT
[#26]
 |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 6:51:06 PM EDT
[#27]
hookers n blow
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/5/2006 7:12:46 PM EDT
[#28]
A local department had one of those fully-uniformed mannequins in a car at a stop light. Someone poured gas all over the top a set it on fire. Melted the overheads and messed up the paint. It went out when the gas burned off.
____________________  |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 12:44:38 AM EDT
[#29]
The girls used to make a game outta finger-f**king everything in the squads attempting to find something small to pilfer. Welllllllllllllll, in the few ride alongs I did as I finger-f**ked everything in the car, in the glove compartments I've found.... 1. open it and have oodles upon oodles of extra crime scene photos fall out all over the place. 2. pr0n. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 2:45:36 AM EDT
[#30]
Your mind is going to all the wrong places. It was probably some of the instant sanitizer stuff, and even if it WAS hand cream, so what? Its winter, my fingers crack and bleed and my wife is always complaining that I need to use more lotion to keep them soft so they wont crack. People blow their nose in the winter too, ya know? As for the guys who think that officers surf the porn sites from their MDTs, wake up already. Most of the MDTs can't access the internet, and even if they could, what with all the keylogger programs and tracking software out there on most agencies computers, do you REALLY think most officers are going to surf porn from work? My bosses knew as soon as I logged onto Glocktalk one day last year; porn is NOT an option. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 3:20:00 AM EDT
[#31]
It should be known that I was not the rookie officer this was done to, nor was it my idea to do such a thing to the officer. I am not that kind of guy. I AM the kind of guy that would insist that the pranksters stop fooling around and start getting serious about the gag. Any idiot can put a dilldo in a drawer. But who among them is creative enough to craft a memorable multi-dilldo object so novel and so hilarious that even the rookie would submit to putting it on and being photographed with said object? |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 4:14:46 AM EDT
[#32]
The above is one good reason. The other, more often the case, is that some idiot admin makes up a stupid rule that all the road guys have to follow. Case in point.....waaaaaay back in the day when we had shotguns mounted barrel-up in the lock, attatched to the cage, some genius managed to blow his mars bar right off the roof with a load of 00 Buck. How this happened is beyond me, since "patrol ready" carry for the scatter guns was full tube, bolt fwd on an empty chamber. Some Admin Puke (remember, this is back in my CPD days) decided that in order to avoid having an officer 'accidentally' charge the 870, we were to down-load the tube -1 round...i.e. four in the tube instead of five. The admin weenie's reasoning....that it would take and 'extra' rack of the slide to chamber a round.... Kind of like leaving TWO chambers of a revolver's cylinder empty, only problem being well....obvious.Like I said, we don't make the rules, we just have to follow them. Most of the time.... Sheep |
|||||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 4:31:06 AM EDT
[#33]
I do have to say that I would be concerned about losing rounds, or having damage to the feed lips, having it reveresed /exposed that way. Cruiser ready to me is magazine inserted, chamber empty, the same as with a shotgun; tube loaded but no round chambered. |
|||||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 8:08:12 AM EDT
[#34]
They have Equal opportunity employee's to train. |
||||||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 8:25:42 AM EDT
[#35]
A naked deputy and a 16 year old girl.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:04:10 AM EDT
[#36]
As a firearms instructor, I would have to say that if the person can't handle chambering a round, maybe they shouldn't HAVE that weapon. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:33:54 AM EDT
[#37]
YES IT IS!!!!!!!!!!  Travis |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:37:37 AM EDT
[#38]
Was she hot? Travis 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:44:14 AM EDT
[#39]
Deer with 2 bulletholes in its head, and legs mangled by a car in the bed of a police truck.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 1:32:46 AM EDT
[#40]
Drunk guy who got OC'd while being a belligerant drunk outside the crappiest bar in the city. Decided that he was going to piss himself, and when that wasn't enough, crap his pants (at least he vocalized what he was going to do first) in the back of the car.
He got taken to the closest FD for "decontamination" (see sprayed with hose) and then taken home to his wife wearing a white tyvek suit, with his other clothes in a garbage bag. Wierd thing is he complained because he felt that he was embarrassed in front of his wife and neighbours.... |
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 10:52:49 AM EDT
[#41]
Catsup on the steering wheel. Guy was a slob.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 11:23:49 AM EDT
[#42]
I was about to say that. Just rolled out on a warrant pick up last week when that happened to be on the good times box. My partner and I laughed our asses off and put the windows down. ETA: The county I used to work for had a very small town in it that didn't have an animal control officer. The county AC guy usually was booked up. The city council decided that the guys riding patrol should pick up dead animal carcasses. So one of the old hands started picking them up and putting them on the trunk lid and driving aroudn town with them on there. The city council decided to hire an AC officer. In Montgomery County TX I did see a dpy with an AK on his divider. Interesting. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 11:26:20 AM EDT
[#43]
There is one (or at least used to be one) that was molded hard plastic and had a trough for the dickbeaters to go in. Not a whole lot of depts buy them as goblin comfort is not a high priority. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 6:04:15 PM EDT
[#44]
Oddest thing I've ever seen? J. C. Vernon Smith ( you had to know him)
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 6:11:41 PM EDT
[#45]
HEY!! At least you didn't hotlink an IM to me. 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 6:14:00 PM EDT
[#46]
Come to my next qual shoot and watch the chief of defectives try and cram .40s into his 9mm mag. or the female crisis unit det. who loaded 9mms in to her .40 mag, then asks me...."how come my gun rattles so much?" Also....had a motor guy with the mag rusted stuck in his magwell. Had to beat it out with a mallet and a dowel. No, I am not kidding. If I were to start taking guns away from people whom I considered too inept to properly employ them, fully half of my PD would be walking around gunless. Sheep |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 6:40:20 PM EDT
[#47]
You win. Though, it could be Trumped by a squad car with a goat in addition to hand cream and a box of tissues. |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 7:22:20 PM EDT
[#48]
Would udder cream count? |
|||
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 7:26:08 PM EDT
[#49]
so...what's the story? the new g/f from Starbucks didn't work out, npd?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 2/7/2006 7:27:15 PM EDT
[#50]
'bout time you showed up.
|
||
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
