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Posted: 5/31/2003 8:51:25 PM EDT
[#1]
What is up with Imbrog|io?
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Posted: 5/31/2003 9:00:44 PM EDT
[#2]
Why do liberals think they know what's best for me when they can't take care of themselves?
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Posted: 5/31/2003 9:08:00 PM EDT
[#3]
How come sometimes when I piss, it comes out as a dual stream, causing me to piss on both sides of the bowl, instead of in the bowl as intended?
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Posted: 5/31/2003 9:13:46 PM EDT
[#4]
Why do my farts smell good but everyone else's smell bad. Everyone likes their own brand?
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Posted: 5/31/2003 9:29:41 PM EDT
[#5]
Mysteries of Nature:
1) It is never possible to know precisely both the position and the velocity of a particle at the same time. (The basis of quantum physics...the short version.) 2) Everything in the Universe is fallible. Everything. Why is it that we can’t bring ourselves to accept that this axiom might also apply to God? 3) “Latent in every man is a venom of amazing bitterness, a black resentment; something that curses and loathes life, a feeling of being trapped, of having trusted and been fooled, of being the helpless prey of impotent rage, blind surrender, the victim of savage, ruthless power that gives and takes away, enlists a man, drops him, promises and betrays, and - crowing injury - inflicts on him the humiliation of feeling sorry for himself.” --- Paul Valery 4) Three jokes God played on evolution: The main one is to propel the process through catastrophic episodes of mass extinction. Another is to give us consciousness but then saddle us with so many unwanted legacies from the past, like dealing with an enormous sexual drive, or having the kind of emotions that make us very upset when we realize we’re going to die. The third one is to give us the kind of mentality that makes us think that we’re the most important creatures on earth when we’re surrounded by insects and bacteria who are doing much better than we are.” --- Pete Townsend cynic |
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Posted: 5/31/2003 10:09:55 PM EDT
[#6]
pee shivers is from losing body heat
men have nipples because all humans start off as females, ovaries become testicles ..etc. |
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Posted: 5/31/2003 10:57:24 PM EDT
[#7]
Who in the HELL was the first person to look at a mushroom and think, "Hmmm, a huge fungus - I wonder what this tastes like"? [puke] If one goose is "goose" and two goose are "geese", how come two moose aren't "meese"? |
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Posted: 5/31/2003 11:34:06 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: men have nipples because all humans start off as females, ovaries become testicles ..etc. [bs] You're male (or female) from the moment of conception. |
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Posted: 5/31/2003 11:58:39 PM EDT
[#9]
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
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Posted: 6/1/2003 12:08:48 AM EDT
[#10]
How come bees can fly?
oz |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 12:22:27 AM EDT
[#11]
Why are buildings called buildings when they are already built?
How can your nose run, and your feet smell? Why do some AR15 owners mount a kagillion lights on their AR15? Where is the rebel base? Who framed Roger Rabbit? I kinda forgot. |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 12:50:20 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted: Quoted: men have nipples because all humans start off as females, ovaries become testicles ..etc. [bs] You're male (or female) from the moment of conception. nope comparison chart female - male ovaries - testicles clitoris - penis head |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 12:51:01 AM EDT
[#13]
why do reporters still say "armed gunman"
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Posted: 6/1/2003 1:18:29 AM EDT
[#14]
Q. Why do doctors slap babies when they are born??
A. To knock the dicks off the dumb ones. Oh Im gonna catch shit for that one. |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 1:24:37 AM EDT
[#15]
Why does the chick that anwswers the phone when you dial a wrong number always sound HOT~
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Posted: 6/1/2003 1:40:39 AM EDT
[#16]
Why does a dog get pissed when you blow in his face, yet hang his head out the window at 60mph?
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Posted: 6/1/2003 1:54:36 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: Why do the drive up ATM machines have braille on them? Why does the dumbshit at the auto parts store always ask what kind of engine the car has? (this happened to me today, when I went to buy a [b]lug nut[/b]) |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 2:05:12 AM EDT
[#18]
you have 8 1$ bills and 1 5$ bill in your pocket, reach in for a 5, you get a 1, reach in for 1 you get a 5...
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Posted: 6/1/2003 6:43:43 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: nope comparison chart female - male ovaries - testicles clitoris - penis head As a [i]comparison[/i] chart, I won't argue that, but my testes didn't start out as ovaries. Human fetuses develop along a common path, then at a point the sexes diverge. The testes and ovaries develop from a common "organ". |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 6:46:26 AM EDT
[#20]
How do women wrap that towel around 'em when they get out of the shower so a hurricane can't blow it off?
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Posted: 6/1/2003 6:51:15 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted: How come sometimes when I piss, it comes out as a dual stream, causing me to piss on both sides of the bowl, instead of in the bowl as intended? Penile cancer. |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 6:52:45 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: Why does a dog get pissed when you blow in his face, yet hang his head out the window at 60mph? Aaargh, human breath!!!!!! |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 8:33:58 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: How do women wrap that towel around 'em when they get out of the shower so a hurricane can't blow it off? They are able to use their breasts as a compressable item that is then used to push the towel away from their bodies but since the towel is wrapped around them, the friction that the towel (usually wet) has against itself is greater than what gravity (or a hurricane or a horny man) can provide in force to remove it. Hope that clears it up. ;) TR |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 10:54:46 AM EDT
[#24]
here's another one..
tightening a hose clamp today, so I'm under the car's hood. Screwdriver falls through and lands on the garage floor. BUT WHY ALWAYS IN THE EXACT FUCKING MIDDLE UNDER THE CAR? |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 3:40:08 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted: Who in the HELL was the first person to look at a mushroom and think, "Hmmm, a huge fungus - I wonder what this tastes like"? Same with oysters...who was the first person to look at an oyster and say "I'm going to open this thing up and eat whatever is inside of it" |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 7:08:18 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted: Why does a dog get pissed when you blow in his face, yet hang his head out the window at 60mph? Bad breath? |
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Posted: 6/1/2003 8:54:52 PM EDT
[#27]
To answer some questions...
The blood released during a woman's period is stored as the lining of the uterus, doesn't come out of our normal blood supply, veins, etc. The lining is assembled throughout the month and then shed each 28-35 days. [:P] It takes 198 licks to get the center of the tootsie pop..90 minutes of science class taught me that. The other sock was taken by the sock monster that lives in the back of your dryer..his feet feel better now, thanks. Omar see The Far Side's "How Birds See The World" BigT..if you thought 2 was bad, 4 is twice as bad. Demmit..I want my penny back! [:)] |
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Posted: 6/2/2003 7:19:22 AM EDT
[#28]
Who is John Galt, and why is he so verbose?
Who am I to know? |
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Posted: 6/2/2003 5:13:04 PM EDT
[#29]
Does the Sobe Lizard use Geico for insurance, and does the Geico Lizard drink Sobe?
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Posted: 6/2/2003 5:21:45 PM EDT
[#30]
why are so many stupid people rich ?
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Posted: 6/2/2003 5:37:04 PM EDT
[#31]
why is greenland covered in ice, and iceland is covered with green?
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Posted: 6/2/2003 5:59:05 PM EDT
[#32]
Why does everyone think they're special? You're unique, just like everyone else.
Why does drinking X beers not affect you the next day, but X + 1 makes you feel like shit the next day? |
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