Wait, so was he just looking at it or did she catch him flogging the bishop?

Quoted: Quoted: It's cheating. I hope I never do that to my wife. Looking at porn is cheating?

For me yes!

I'm not telling you what it is for you.

For me and my house I will serve the Lord.

God has one woman for me.

I want to honor her.

Wow.

You think God cares if you beat your meat like it owes you money?

Thank god I'm not religious.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: It's cheating. I hope I never do that to my wife. Looking at porn is cheating? For me yes! I'm not telling you what it is for you. For me and my house I will serve the Lord. God has one woman for me. I want to honor her.

Sounds to me like you will make one woman very happy someday!

Knowing that I enjoy photography, my wife insists that we make our own porn every now and then.

That being said, she's let me photograph other women nude many times before.

Quoted: Wow. You think God cares if you beat your meat like it owes you money?

Actually, it's the associated thought process that God 'cares' about......

Quoted: So, if I look at porn WITH my wife, it's not cheating, or a sin?

Hard to put a yes or no answer to that question for me.

I don't understand why you would want to look at another couple screwing, when you can look at yourself screwing. Get some mirrors......

My Bible say's the marriage bed is undefiled and I take that to mean that anything you and your wife want to do that does not cause the other to sin is fair game.

Remember God is not as much concerned with your actions as He is the motivations of your heart where the root of the action is first germinated.

Does that make sense?

Hmm this thread reminded me to pick up a new DVD after work.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: It's cheating. I hope I never do that to my wife. Looking at porn is cheating? For me yes! I'm not telling you what it is for you. For me and my house I will serve the Lord. God has one woman for me. I want to honor her.

Amen, from someone guilty of that sin.

NEVER again!

Quoted: Knowing that I enjoy photography, my wife insists that we make our own porn every now and then. That being said, she's let me photograph other women nude many times before.

Erm...I'm all about my boyfriend enjoying porn and watching it with him, but that's something I won't do.  Not my cup of tea.

Quoted: Thank god I'm not religious.

+1



Zen






"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin.  It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.   When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts. Some people won't see the truth until He is standing before them and they find that they must confess who He is.   The only problem is that at that point it will be too late... Finally, the undeniable truth

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin.  It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.   When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts. Some people won't see the truth until He is standing before them and they find that they must confess who He is.   The only problem is that at that point it will be too late... Finally, the undeniable truth hr

+1

No undeniable truth, just YOUR faith.

This has little to do with religion, so if you're a screaming atheist, look at it this way.

You have a wife. You married her. You took an oath. You gave your WORD.

You went and looked at ANOTHER woman (violating your oath to your wife) and, horror of horrors, your wife is upset about it.

So, you can either be a MAN and fess up that you screwed up, and make right by your wife, or you can be a hypocritical ASSHOLE husband and tell your wife (who at some point you considered highly enough to get MARRIED to) to STFU and get a life.

The choice you make speaks volumes about your character, or lack of it, and religion has ZERO to do with it.

Quoted: This has little to do with religion, so if you're a screaming atheist, look at it this way. You have a wife. You married her. You took an oath. You gave your WORD. You went and looked at ANOTHER woman (violating your oath to your wife) and, horror of horrors, your wife is upset about it. So, you can either be a MAN and fess up that you screwed up, and make right by your wife, or you can be a hypocritical ASSHOLE husband and tell your wife (who at some point you considered highly enough to get MARRIED to) to STFU and get a life. The choice you make speaks volumes about your character, or lack of it, and religion has ZERO to do with it.

I've dated chicks who would point out guys and say shit like "oh hes a cutie" and I didn't care, just like whenever Mandy Moore was on TV I would comment on how hot she is, they didn't care.  Your only looking, no harm in that.

Saying "he's cute" about some guy on the street is one thing. Looking at porn is very, VERY different.

Also, see how you feel if your wife says "he is cute" over, and over, and over......

It's a matter of respect for the person you're with. That simple concept is enshrined in religious belief for some, and common sense for others.

For me, it's BOTH.

Quoted: Let me say what many are thinking.

Thankfully I am not included in this bunch.

She sounds like an uptight, prudish, ball busting, controlling bitch.

She sounds like she has every right to be angry to me.

And if she knew her way around the bedroom, he might not have be suplementing his sex life with porn.

Maybe if he would stand up and be a man and honor his wife by following all of his vows to her she would be a bit more receptive to him.

But in any event, the fact is, most healthy sinful men look at porn and masturbate.  Big deal.

Fixed this one for ya.

It has nothing to do with her.

I thought you just said  "And if she knew her way around the bedroom, he might not have be suplementing his sex life with porn. "

Which is it?

He would probably be doing it now and again regardless.

Will you please make up your mind?

A mans sex drive is so vast that if he wasn't masturbating he might be porking his secretary. (because his wife certainly couldn't keep up with his needs)  She should count her blessings.

I thought you said......"And if she knew her way around the bedroom, he might not have be suplementing his sex life with porn porking his secretary. "

Wonder how he's going to feel about her seeking to get her needs met when his willie stops working at the same time her drive starts to increase?

Masturbation is a healthy outlet sinful habit.  (anyone who doesn't know that is living in the dark ages)

 

Fixed this one for you too.

Quoted: Wait, so was he just looking at it or did she catch him flogging the bishop?

LOL

I couldn't get him to admit to it, but I think so.

Quoted: Quoted: This has little to do with religion, so if you're a screaming atheist, look at it this way. You have a wife. You married her. You took an oath. You gave your WORD. You went and looked at ANOTHER woman (violating your oath to your wife) and, horror of horrors, your wife is upset about it. So, you can either be a MAN and fess up that you screwed up, and make right by your wife, or you can be a hypocritical ASSHOLE husband and tell your wife (who at some point you considered highly enough to get MARRIED to) to STFU and get a life. The choice you make speaks volumes about your character, or lack of it, and religion has ZERO to do with it. I've dated chicks who would point out guys and say shit like "oh hes a cutie" and I didn't care, just like whenever Mandy Moore was on TV I would comment on how hot she is, they didn't care.  Your only looking, no harm in that.

If there's no harm in that...then why did his wife get mad about it?

Obviously there is harm in it or she wouldn't have gotten mad.

Since when did it become ok to dishonor your wife? To me thing like honor, honesty, integrity, faithfulness, and selflessness are some of the best character traits person can have, but it seems that in today's world selfishness rules the day...

Quoted: My wife looks at more porn than I do

Maybe she and I could have coffee sometime.

"If ya ain't jerkin' ya ain't surfin'"

Quoted: Sounds to me like you will make one woman very happy someday!

That's my desire.

Quoted: This has little to do with religion, so if you're a screaming atheist, look at it this way. You have a wife. You married her. You took an oath. You gave your WORD. You went and looked at ANOTHER woman (violating your oath to your wife) and, horror of horrors, your wife is upset about it. So, you can either be a MAN and fess up that you screwed up, and make right by your wife, or you can be a hypocritical  husband and tell your wife (who at some point you considered highly enough to get MARRIED to) to SU and get a life. The choice you make speaks volumes about your character, or lack of it, and religion has ZERO to do with it.

POWN3D!

Quoted: A healthy relationship sounds like this: Man: Hey, ya wanna get it on? Woman: Not right now, I'm really tired.  In the morning, ok? Man:  Sure, but I'm gonna have to go tear one off right now, too. Woman : That's cool.

+1


Ding ding ding


Unless they are having sex practically every day, she really shouldn't be too surprised or indignant.



That said - I can understand why women would be upset by their man looking at OTHER women, or particularly obscene stuff.  As long as she ACCEPTS that men are horny and want to have sex every day, here's the solution.

Allow him to take all sorts of picture and video of HER and of the TWO OF THEM having sex and doing nasty stuff.  Then, he can use that (and ONLY that) to look at when he is masturbating.  That way, he is getting his needs/urges taken care off, but is not "cheating" by looking at or thinking about other women.

I'm a freakin' genius!!  

Quoted: My brother is a good guy, a little rough around the edges like all of us, but a straight-up guy nonetheless.  His wife caught him looking at porn the other day, and being the ultra-conservative (nothing wrong with that) that she is needless to say she is VERY pissed and hasn't been talking to him.  He's bummed out about it and I'm not sure what to tell him how to handle this.  Any ideas?

Assuming this is a moral or religeous issue for her (eg she believes looking at porn is wrong for everyone, not just for 'her husband'), tell him to ditch the porn...

He's not going to get his wife to give up her moral beliefs, and I can't possibly believe that he didn't know he was marrying a morally conservative woman...

Quoted: Quoted: Wait, so was he just looking at it or did she catch him flogging the bishop? LOL I couldn't get him to admit to it, but I think so.

LOL, that'll kill it.

My 68 year old neighbor told me the other morning that women are only good for two things...f*cking and frying potatos.  And most of the time they end up burning the potatos.

Not saying that I agree with him, just telling you what he said.

Quoted: Not saying that I agree with him, just telling you what he said.

Well.....

The $64,000 dollar question here is what type of porn was he watching?


Farm sex?  If so then I could understand why she was so upset.

Quoted: My brother is a good guy, a little rough around the edges like all of us, but a straight-up guy nonetheless.  His wife caught him looking at porn the other day, and being the ultra-conservative (nothing wrong with that) that she is needless to say she is VERY pissed and hasn't been talking to him.  He's bummed out about it and I'm not sure what to tell him how to handle this.  Any ideas?

Here is another problem in this whole scenario.

She has every right to be mad.

But not talking to him is not the way to handle this.

They need to COMMUNICATE with each other.

At this point both need to apologise.

Alot of married men dont have the character it takes to not lust after any other women but their wives. It would take great dedication and discipline for the length of a marrige or serious relationship. I dont know why some of you would laugh or critisize a man for trying to adhere to those beliefs. It greatly commendable.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The guys are right, generally... but she nees to hear this from a family therapist. Get the two of them in, hell even offer to pay the first $100 or something. but don't go to a Christian one! they will say porn and masturbation are sinful, selfish and unhealthy. I think the point of that is the following though: 1.  The bible (New Testament) speaks that there should only be one man for one woman (monogomy) 2.  The verse along the lines of "What a man thinks/feels in his heart, so is he".  In other words if your imagining commiting adultery with some porn chick then it is as if you are actually doing it in God's eyes 3.  That being said - "Thou Shall not committ adultery" - one of the big ten 4.  and the fact that his wife will be uber self-conscious and thinking that she isn't good enough That all kind of goes a long way if you are spiritually strong (as she is)

"I tell you the truth, If any man lusts after a woman, then he is committing adultry with her in his heart" - Jesus

As I said above, there are 2 kinds of 'opposition' to porn -> 1) religeous/moral (Porn is evil (which is the Christian perspective - the word Greek 'pornea' from whch we get 'Pornography' is mentioned in the NT - NIV translates it to 'sexual immorality'), and 2)  'personal' (Porn is fine for single guys, for everyone else, but not MY spouse/GF/BF)....

The first type is not something to be 'gotten over', it's just the way that person is, what they believe, and that's it. And it's not just women - I know plenty of men (myself included) who consider porno a sin & don't watch it....

The 2nd type is just a relationship issue - if neither of you believe it's a sin, then find some middle ground, the moral question will be answered for you 'in the end' anyway...

The guys I have known who cheated on their wives or were into other perverted crap always started with porn.  Of course, not everyone ends up like that.  But it does not seem to be risk-free.  I'd tell your brother to kick it, or if he is unable to do so to see a conservative christian therapist.

So masturbation is cheating?

Looking at photos of women and enjoying it is cheating?

So what about if some comely female walks in front of you, and you enjoy the view, is that cheating?

What do you people do, wear blinders so you don't accidently see some hot babe and get a boner over it?

Do you go confess you have cheated everytime you enjoy seeing a hot girl?  

Do you have someone preview magazines you wish to read and cut out all of the pictures of good looking women in them?  (so you don't cheat by seeing them)  

Most people I know do not define fidelity as never looking at the opposite sex.  

Lets get serious here, cheating isn't looking and appreciating. It is touching.

If you define cheating in such a provincial and narrow way, life will be unliveable.

But as for this case, I would have to ask, what kind of marital agreement did this couple have about such activity?

From the post it sounds (like most couples) that they had no prior agreement about him masturbating and looking at porn.

It sounds alot more like she just feels she owns him, and can dictate to him about this.

This is not about religion, or even cheating, it is just about her ego and need to control him.

He needs to tell her to grow up, or move out.  Quit being pussy whipped, and masturbate at will.    

Nothing sadder than a pussy whipped male who buys into this crap.



Zen
"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"  

Quoted: The guys I have known who cheated on their wives or were into other perverted crap always started with porn.  Of course, not everyone ends up like that.  But it does not seem to be risk-free.  I'd tell your brother to kick it, or if he is unable to do so to see a conservative christian therapist.

Exactly - Humans are not monkeys, and it is expected that married folks CONTROL their sex drive to the point of only satasfying eachother.

Now, it's alot easier if the 2 folks in question have only exercised those urges together, self control is hard to develop after several different 'facts', but  be it as it may, it is not unreasonable for her to expect him to control his urges anymore than it's not unreasonable for him to expect her not to sleep with the mailman.

Ideally, this is something that's sorted out BEFORE you get married (like the first time one partner brings up wanting to watch porn or having sex, and the other doesn't approve), but afterwards it's too late, the marriage & the vows that go with it should supercede the need to 'get off'...

And one more thing, don't ever let me see you guys who are so self-rightious posting to BOTD threads.  


Zen






"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"

Quoted: or if he is unable to do so to see a conservative christian therapist.

Quoted: So masturbation is cheating? Looking at photos of women and enjoying it is cheating? So what about if some comely female walks in front of you, and you enjoy the view, is that cheating? What do you people do, wear blinders so you don't accidently see some hot babe and get a boner over it? Do you go confess you have cheated everytime you enjoy seeing a hot girl?   Do you have someone preview magazines you wish to read and cut out all of the pictures of good looking women in them?  (so you don't cheat by seeing them)   Most people I know do not define fidelity as never looking at the opposite sex.   Lets get serious here, cheating isn't looking and appreciating. It is touching. If you define cheating in such a provincial and narrow way, life will be unliveable. But as for this case, I would have to ask, what kind of marital agreement did this couple have about such activity? From the post it sounds (like most couples) that they had no prior agreement about him masturbating and looking at porn. It sounds alot more like she just feels she owns him, and can dictate to him about this. This is not about religion, or even cheating, it is just about her ego and need to control him. He needs to tell her to grow up, or move out.  Quit being pussy whipped, and masturbate at will.     Nothing sadder than a pussy whipped male who buys into this crap. Zen "This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"

It's not cheating to see a good looking, clothed woman and think 'she's good looking'.

The 'cheating' part comes when you start looking at produced material that exists for no other purpose than to generate sexual arousal in those who choose to view it.

There are other factors/purposes involved in other situations where you will see/meet women.

There is NO OTHER purpose to porn.

Further, seeing a good looking woman & thinking 'she's hot' as she passes by is one thing...

Watching her for 2 hours, thinking about having sex with her, and mastrubating while you're doing it is another...

See the difference?

P.S. To answer the mastrubation thing, technically the act itself is not sinful in literal Christian doctrine, it's what often accompanies it that is. If a man mastrubates thinking of his wife, that's a whole different story than doing it while thinking of a porn star....

And by the by, if you boys don't think your ladies aren't "cranking one out" every now and again, then you need to wake up and deal with reality. LOL

Also, if you think she is thinking about YOU when she does it, you're fooling yourselves. ROTFLMAO



To masturbate is normal and the act of a normal man.  


To masturbate and get caught is the act of a MORON!  


His mistake was getting caught.



Zen






"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"  

Quoted: So masturbation is cheating? yeah Looking at photos of women and enjoying it is cheating? adultery in your heart? If so, yes... So what about if some comely female walks in front of you, and you enjoy the view, is that cheating? no What do you people do, wear blinders so you don't accidently see some hot babe and get a boner over it? no Do you go confess you have cheated everytime you enjoy seeing a hot girl?  no Do you have someone preview magazines you wish to read and cut out all of the pictures of good looking women in them?  (so you don't cheat by seeing them)  no Most people I know do not define fidelity as never looking at the opposite sex.  agreed Lets get serious here, cheating isn't looking and appreciating. It is touching. lust is cheating. If a naked woman jumps up on my desk and I'm tempted...it's just temptation. If I act (even with thoughts) on that temptation, it's cheating If you define cheating in such a provincial and narrow way, life will be unliveable. my friend, I assure you,. my life is wonderfully liveable! But as for this case, I would have to ask, what kind of marital agreement did this couple have about such activity? probably said something along the lines of "love, honor, and obey..." From the post it sounds (like most couples) that they had no prior agreement about him masturbating and looking at porn. sorry...that part is inherent. It sounds alot more like she just feels she owns him, and can dictate to him about this. But to be sure, she DOES own him... 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. This is not about religion, or even cheating, it is just about her ego and need to control him. at best, that statement is a mere matter of opinion He needs to tell her to grow up, or move out. Or maybe he could ask forgiveness.... Quit being pussy whipped, and masturbate at will.    bad advice! Nothing sadder than a pussy whipped male who buys into this crap. the thought of those who call it 'crap' burning in Hell for eternity comes to mind... Zen

Quoted: So masturbation is cheating?

yes

Looking at photos of women and enjoying it is cheating?

Literally, no, depends on your interpretation of "enjoying".

So what about if some comely female walks in front of you, and you enjoy the view, is that cheating?

See above. I enjoy looking at beautiful women all the time, when I start to imagine haveing sex with them that's when it becomes sinful.

What do you people do, wear blinders so you don't accidently see some hot babe and get a boner over it?

No, I just win the battle over my flesh with the grace of Jesus Christ.

Do you go confess you have cheated everytime you enjoy seeing a hot girl?

No, because I do not cheat every time I see a hot girl.

Do you have someone preview magazines you wish to read and cut out all of the pictures of good looking women in them?  (so you don't cheat by seeing them)

No, but I also do not look at certain magazines I know provide temptation. I've learned not to be like the dog that returns to it's vomit. This is what set's me apart from the monkeys you spoke of earlier. Again, I win the battle for my mind.

Most people I know do not define fidelity as never looking at the opposite sex.

Me too.

Lets get serious here, cheating isn't looking and appreciating. It is touching.

Agree 100%, depending on your interpretation of "appreciating".

If you define cheating in such a provincial and narrow way, life will be unliveable.

Again I agree. Living the Christian life is all about a relationship with the Living God, not a list of do's and dont's. I do what I do because of my love for my Savior.

But as for this case, I would have to ask, what kind of marital agreement did this couple have about such activity?

This is important.

From the post it sounds (like most couples) that they had no prior agreement about him masturbating and looking at porn.

What about "forsaking all others"........

Do we need lawyers now to draw up the wedding vows?

It sounds alot more like she just feels she owns him, and can dictate to him about this.

She does and vise versa. They have become one flesh in God's eyes.

Eph 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."  32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
NIV

Thank you arowneragain

1 Cor 7:4-7
4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.
NIV

This is not about religion, or even cheating, it is just about her ego and need to control him.

Are you for real? You sound like a bitter man.  

He needs to tell her to grow up, or move out.  Quit being pussy whipped, and masturbate at will.

Great advice if you want to become divorced real fast. He needs to tell her he's sorry for looking at another woman/women. Ask her for her forgivness and then communicate his needs to her in a respectful manor.  

Nothing sadder than a pussy satan whipped male who buys into this crap.

Agree 100%, it's real easy to swim with the current. It takes a real man to stand up and honor his wife.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Some people get turned off of religion because they get tired of being told that what they are doing is a little thing called sin.  It's often easier to turn away from the messenger than to correct the underlying problem.   When the "messenger" is a fucking ancient myth, yeah, you're right. Frankly, looking at people having sex, either by yourself, or with someone else is NOT a "sin" in my book, and that's the only book that counts. Some people won't see the truth until He is standing before them and they find that they must confess who He is.   The only problem is that at that point it will be too late...

Yea, well don't hold your fucking breath...

Tell her that it wont happen again, and be more careful next time.

Quoted: To masturbate and get caught is the act of a MORON!   His mistake was getting caught.

If there is really nothing wrong with it why is it so taboo to get caught.

I sincerely hope I never have to hide a single thing from my wife. Feelings, thoughts, desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams, fantasies......to me that would be the best benifit in marrying your best friend. Total disclosure without fear.

By the way, just curious, is a nude beach forbidden by god? I mean is it only a sin if there is a sex act being depicted? Does playboy count? Because it seems to me many cultures have different standards for undress and monogamy is not universal either.

The Lord seems like a real nag. It's not enough I don’t murder, steal, and that I'm a nice guy to be around, but the porn is wrong too. Gosh, what a pain in the ass.

So if I watch porn and think of my wife, I am not cheating? What if I get a boner for cars? Am I cheating by "lusting" after cars. or guns, etc.  Seems many things can be lusted after not just women. You can look. You can appreciate beauty in all forms. These forms may be produced by men or god. They might be equally beautiful none the less. Seems this couple needs to comunicate. Talk to one another. Find out how he feels about porn and how she feels about it. These things should be able to be worked out by adults. Feelings and impulses might need to be controlled by both. Respect each other. If they cannot work this problem out a divorce maybe unaviodable.

Quoted: lust is cheating. If a naked woman jumps up on my desk and I'm tempted...it's just temptation. If I act (even with thoughts) on that temptation, it's cheating

This is good stuff, thank God for His perfect plan.

It sounds alot more like she just feels she owns him, and can dictate to him about this. But to be sure, she DOES own him...1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

This is the verse I was looking for for my post!!!!!! GOOD JOB arowneragain!

Quoted: And by the by, if you boys don't think your ladies aren't "cranking one out" every now and again, then you need to wake up and deal with reality. LOL

Women really don't do it that often.  Some don't do it at all, mostly because they're getting laid all the time or just don't know how.

Quoted: Quoted: To masturbate and get caught is the act of a MORON!   His mistake was getting caught. If there is really nothing wrong with it why is it so taboo to get caught. I sincerely hope I never have to hide a single thing from my wife. Feelings, thoughts, desires, ambitions, hopes, dreams, fantasies......to me that would be the best benifit in marrying your best friend. Total disclosure without fear.

Do you have sex in public in front of others who do not wish to view it?  I would hope not.

Do I have to point out to you that masturbation is a private thing as well?  And it being private, does nott condem it as dirty or taboo as you seem to insinuate.  



Zen





"This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine"