Mens' opinions--------what is wrong with this guy? - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Mens' opinions--------what is wrong with this guy? (Page 2 of 4)

Posted: 3/29/2009 5:45:57 AM EDT

[#1]

If she's OK with it, I don't care what they do. In my younger days I probably wouldn't have turned down the offer if she was hot. If she doesn't like it, she should unload his perverted asss.

Posted: 3/29/2009 6:04:11 AM EDT

[#2]

That's as fucked up as a football bat. She's got as many issues as he does for agreeing to go along with it.
I can understand the dude having some kind of fetish, but that's why they make porn...

Posted: 3/29/2009 6:06:54 AM EDT

[#3]

So, OP, do the opinions of the two boards agree? I can't see how they wouldn't, but having witnessed the asshattery involved on some of those sites (my wife posts on the knot and sometimes the nest) nothing would shock me.

Posted: 3/29/2009 6:47:10 AM EDT

[#4]

The guy is a dick. A total douche bag. Her fetish should be fucking him in the ass with a 14" dildo.

And his fetish is a bit pervy.

Posted: 3/29/2009 6:55:51 AM EDT

[#5]

I can't post a link because it's against COC. Just do a search for Babycenter and you can register your own account and lurk on any boards that aren't private. And, yes, you will see some crazy stuff.

The opinions are all the same––––nobody is saying she should stay and try to work through it and all agree he's sick. However, I will say that the woman dominated board had much more psychoanalysis going on and asking questions to get to the whys and wherefores. Surprise, surprise.

Most have told her he's her pimp and not her husband. And they all agree that if she stays she's involving her kids in some sort of web of perverts. What the women find the oddest is that it's his friends. It's no surprise that many have the fantasy of watching their SO with someone else but for it to RULE this guy's sex life and for him to use his friends instead of some random bar guy is what puts us over the edge. How awkward are bar-b-ques and get-togethers?

Posted: 3/29/2009 6:58:16 AM EDT

[#6]

Hes a retard

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:04:58 AM EDT

[#7]

Wifey-poo shouldn't sleep with anyone she doesn't want to. If she does, she's just as fucked int he head as he is.

If she has two brain cells to rub together, she should have bailed a long time ago.

BTW, the "it was OK for me to fuck his friends before we had a kid but not after" is proof positive that she is crazy. Either it's morally OK or it's not.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:10:30 AM EDT

[#8]

Sad.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:10:35 AM EDT

[#9]

She is being coerced into performing sexual acts against her will, and she needs other people to tell her this is wrong?

The father of an ex GF of mine was just convicted of murder in the disappearance of his wife, the ex's mother in 1976. One of the things that came out in trial is that he had been submitting nude pictures of the wife to swingers magazines and pressuring her to 'swing'. He ended up beating and strangling her to death, then concealing the corpse for 30 years.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:13:46 AM EDT

[#10]

Sounds like he has some issues of masochism... needs to feel like a douche bag because his wife is being fucked by another guy. His brain has a cross connect fucked up, I'd guess. And somehow normal jealousy/rage emotions get his dick hard. I'd think he is a stone throw away from being totally psychotic.

I've heard this happening before, and I was shocked.

I've seen the Please Fuck my Wife pron sites, and didn't, couldn't believe that that was actual couples (Maybe it really isn't but anyways) I thought it was just actors.... Who would HONESTLY want to see their gf/wife fucked by another man? When I first heard of it happening in real life I still couldn't believe it. I thought there had to be a motive, like he wanted to take her to the cleaners in a divorce or something.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:13:57 AM EDT

[#11]

"My first impression would be...a lot."

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:16:36 AM EDT

[#12]

He's queer!

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:16:54 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Did she really not know he was a pervert when she married him?

She did. They were young and it was exciting at first, being able to please him in that way and everyone was willing and nobody was hurt. Once they had a child her priorities changed and she keeps thinking that someday her husband will grow up and get over this.

I say it's a fetish hardwired into his brain and he'll never be able to get over it.

She doesn't want to leave because he's a good father and good husband in every other way. I think that's bullshit because a good husband doesn't pimp out his wife and expect her to whore herself out to his friends in return for financial support. But that's not how she sees it. She feels guilty because part of her thinks she SHOULD grin and bear it to make him happy. Typical of an abused person.

Whats the saying, women marry men expecting to change them, and men marry women thinking they'll never change?

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:16:56 AM EDT

[#14]

That blows my fucking mind

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:19:00 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I've read the responses from all the women on the other site and I'd like to see what a group of outspoken men think about the whole thing.

He needs the exorcism.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:22:02 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Wow. Maybe he's a closet homo imagining those acts performed on him.

I'm thinking this! Twisted fuck!

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:23:50 AM EDT

[#17]

I think she is as fucked up as he is for doing it, and his friends are too.

There is no way I could fuck one of my friends wives.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:25:20 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
A poster on another forum that is 99% mothers started this topic.

Her husband of 15 years enjoys watching her have sex with other men. Over the years she has slept with 5 of his friends on various occasions and now is pregnant and since the condom broke during one of her sessions with his friend, they're not even sure the baby is her husband's. SHE does not enjoy filling his fantasy for him and has told him that she wants to stop. He not only begs her to do it but he then treats her badly for days afterwards (my guess is to assuage his guilt). They've gone to counseling before and he stopped for a while but slowly began to work it back into their sex life and she said that even when she refuses to do it he still acts it out verbally and can't "finish" without talking about her with another man.

So! She said she put her foot down recently and told him she was not going to do it anymore under any circumstances and that he needed help. After thinking about it he approached her and his argument was this: I work 40 hours a week at a job I hate to support this family. You're able to stay home with our son because of my financial support and you both enjoy that. If I am able to get up every day and go to a job I hate, you should be able to do this for me once in a while. I sacrifice and don't ask for anything in return but this and I feel it's your responsibility to fulfill me in that way.

I've read the responses from all the women on the other site and I'd like to see what a group of outspoken men think about the whole thing.

In response to your inquiry...
The man in question is a mentally unstable pervert and his wife should leave him immediately and take the children with her if there are any.
There is no telling which perversion he will come up with next.
Next time might involve dogs or horses.
Also, his wife should seek counseling.
She did sleep with all those men after all.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:30:09 AM EDT

[#19]

Dude needs to get HIMSELF right and find something he likes to do... and NOT bring her down with him.

The fact that he is suffering doesn't make it right for him to make her suffer.

I would get physically ill even at the mere THOUGHT of my wife (I'm not married now) having sex with other men.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:32:30 AM EDT

[#20]

Ditch him and get half his money.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:43:54 AM EDT

[#21]

I just talked to my old lady about this. As I've said she post quite a bit on BBC. Apparently their board has as many or more trolls than here. Its quite common for women to make up weird questions/life situations just to get a rise out of everyone.

She thinks its fake.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:48:18 AM EDT

[#22]

I'm not a psychologist, nor did I stay at a holiday in last night, but I can say with confidence that he is fucked up and probably needs some sort of help.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:54:31 AM EDT

[#23]

pics of said woman?>

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:55:13 AM EDT

[#24]

I'll bet the dude has serious pr0n addiction. He views her as a sex object, and can only enjoy it as an 'observer.'

Pretty messed up.

Posted: 3/29/2009 7:55:29 AM EDT

[#25]

Ain't no way in hell that is gonna happen around here... If the wife didn't eliminate me. I would eliminate her. I couldn't tolerate the other guy with the wife thing... Must be some of that third world shit crossed the border.... The mexes Pimp their little sisters all the time.... An accepted way of live down there... Any sailors or GI's here Dog and pony show"s ??? ring a bell?? Some really screwed up people in those third world countries

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:17:11 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
I just talked to my old lady about this. As I've said she post quite a bit on BBC. Apparently their board has as many or more trolls than here. Its quite common for women to make up weird questions/life situations just to get a rise out of everyone.

She thinks its fake.

That's always a possibility and normally I'd agree EXCEPT.........trolls generally have a certain "feel" to their posts and are usually done by people with less than stellar intelligence, grammar, vocabulary, etc. This poster is not that at all. Her posts, excepting content, are exactly like the long-time regulars who have a lot to offer the boards. And she's not egging the drama on. She's answering direct questions but isn't making a ton of excuses for him and is conceding others' points which trolls don't usually do. She's posted maybe half a dozen times on the entire thread and isn't escalating the story in any way.

I don't know. I have a pretty accurate BS meter and it's not pinging with this one. If she wants to check it out it's on The Debate Team board.

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:26:29 AM EDT

[#27]

they both are fucked up...

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:32:12 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Wow. Maybe he's a closet homo imagining those acts performed on him.

This

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:43:29 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did she really not know he was a pervert when she married him?

She did. They were young and it was exciting at first, being able to please him in that way and everyone was willing and nobody was hurt. Once they had a child her priorities changed and she keeps thinking that someday her husband will grow up and get over this.

I say it's a fetish hardwired into his brain and he'll never be able to get over it.

She doesn't want to leave because he's a good father and good husband in every other way. I think that's bullshit because a good husband doesn't pimp out his wife and expect her to whore herself out to his friends in return for financial support. But that's not how she sees it. She feels guilty because part of her thinks she SHOULD grin and bear it to make him happy. Typical of an abused person.

She liked it at first but now doesn't? She blames him for a fetish that he could not act out if it weren't for her participation? Looks like a crying line of bullshit to me. She fed this wild animal and now that it isn't fun anymore she wants it to go away. Oh and a good wife doesn't sleep with other people because her husband wants her to. She needs to find a job, some morals, and a new place to live. It is one more case of people trying an alternative lifestyle and it ruining them in the end. If she never wanted to have sex with someone else she would have never had sex with someone else.

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:46:32 AM EDT

[#30]

Do they need any more friends?

Just saying

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:49:46 AM EDT

[#31]

IM HERE FOR THE GANGBANG

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:49:49 AM EDT

[#32]

Wow..

I don't understand dudes with that fantasy, apparently it's sort of common though. Not to sound sexist...but uh that is uh mine and no one else gets to touch it until my ride is over. I'm a sharing person but that isn't one of them. I'm sure my fiance feels the same way about me.

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:55:26 AM EDT

[#33]

They are both fucked in the head.

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:56:24 AM EDT

[#34]

thats just fucked, GD never fails to deliver

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:56:53 AM EDT

[#35]

It's the Jack the Ripper complex.

Husband loves his wife and can't really enjoy sex with her, only whores. Enjoys watching her as a whore. As long as it's not himself.

One theory is that JTR could only have sex with whores because he couldn't bring himself to do those things with his own wife.

Probably BS, but it's a theory
I think it's crazy. I would leave the bastage.

Posted: 3/29/2009 8:58:44 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Once they had a child her priorities changed and she keeps thinking that someday her husband will grow up and get over this.

This right here is the problem.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:01:38 AM EDT

[#37]

Frankly sounds like a guy who gets off describing this situation on a forum that is predominantly women, IMHO. I seriously doubt it's true.

RIF it's her posting

Have you posted an eject pic yet?

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:02:48 AM EDT

[#38]

Abuse can take many forms.

He's messed up for "pushing" her to do things sexually that she apparently neither likes nor enjoys. Not good or healthy.

On the other hand, I wonder if there's another side to this story... and the truth lies somewhere in between.

BTW, what in the hell is she doing posting her dirty laundry on a public forum?

John

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:04:12 AM EDT

[#39]

plain and simple she needs to just leave him for a dozen reasons! because this isnt going to end nicely!!!!!

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:04:39 AM EDT

[#40]

I've heard of this kind of thing anecdotally, but it took me a long time to believe that some men are actually into seeing someone else boning their wife

All I can say is that I would have bailed on that situation long, long ago no matter what side of the equation I was on (ok, if I was the guy I would have tested one of my 10mm handloads in my brainpan).

I don't know what the solution is, but what I do know is that...

SOMEONE'S GONNA FO!

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:07:20 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
A poster on another forum that is 99% mothers started this topic.

Her husband of 15 years enjoys watching her have sex with other men. Over the years she has slept with 5 of his friends on various occasions and now is pregnant and since the condom broke during one of her sessions with his friend, they're not even sure the baby is her husband's. SHE does not enjoy filling his fantasy for him and has told him that she wants to stop. He not only begs her to do it but he then treats her badly for days afterwards (my guess is to assuage his guilt). They've gone to counseling before and he stopped for a while but slowly began to work it back into their sex life and she said that even when she refuses to do it he still acts it out verbally and can't "finish" without talking about her with another man.

So! She said she put her foot down recently and told him she was not going to do it anymore under any circumstances and that he needed help. After thinking about it he approached her and his argument was this: I work 40 hours a week at a job I hate to support this family. You're able to stay home with our son because of my financial support and you both enjoy that. If I am able to get up every day and go to a job I hate, you should be able to do this for me once in a while. I sacrifice and don't ask for anything in return but this and I feel it's your responsibility to fulfill me in that way.

I've read the responses from all the women on the other site and I'd like to see what a group of outspoken men think about the whole thing.

That, right there, is some MAJORLY fucked up shit.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:09:34 AM EDT

[#42]

Sorry but if he's FORCING her to have sex with other men it's rape. If she's not being forced, well then shes having sex on her own free will. Sounds like total BS to me.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:11:25 AM EDT

[#43]

I tried a variation of that with my wife. Honey I worked hard all week. I want you to bring your cute girlfriends over to have sex cause I deserve it. Ddin't work out too well if ya know what I mean...

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:14:29 AM EDT

[#44]

Not my cup of tea, but whatever floats yer boat.

If they're both into it. Fine, why would I care?

She doesn't want to do it anymore, her perogative. He wants to beg and cajole for more, so what?

If he demands it, and/or abuses her (emotionally or otherwise) to get it., then he needs his ass kicked.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:16:47 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
A poster on another forum that is 99% mothers started this topic.

Her husband of 15 years enjoys watching her have sex with other men. Over the years she has slept with 5 of his friends on various occasions and now is pregnant and since the condom broke during one of her sessions with his friend, they're not even sure the baby is her husband's. SHE does not enjoy filling his fantasy for him and has told him that she wants to stop. He not only begs her to do it but he then treats her badly for days afterwards (my guess is to assuage his guilt). They've gone to counseling before and he stopped for a while but slowly began to work it back into their sex life and she said that even when she refuses to do it he still acts it out verbally and can't "finish" without talking about her with another man.

So! She said she put her foot down recently and told him she was not going to do it anymore under any circumstances and that he needed help. After thinking about it he approached her and his argument was this: I work 40 hours a week at a job I hate to support this family. You're able to stay home with our son because of my financial support and you both enjoy that. If I am able to get up every day and go to a job I hate, you should be able to do this for me once in a while. I sacrifice and don't ask for anything in return but this and I feel it's your responsibility to fulfill me in that way.

I've read the responses from all the women on the other site and I'd like to see what a group of outspoken men think about the whole thing.

The guy is a sadist. He gets off on degrading his wife.

She should EJECT and take his psycho ass to the cleaners.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:18:19 AM EDT

[#46]

Ok, here are all of her posts on the subject:

INTRODUCTION POST
Yes, I created a new identity to ask this. I know lots of people on BBC that I don't want knowing intimate details of my relationship. So here's the scenario. Please tell me which of us is being unreasonable.

DH works at a physically demanding job that he hates. He is the sole breadwinner. I stay home with our child, who because of medical issues, cannot go to daycare. If I did work, I would make less than half what DH makes. His salary just barely pays the bills.

We both had messed up sexual histories. When we first got together, we were very young and adventerous and he enjoyed watching me have sex with other men. It always ended badly, with him upset at me for one thing or another. I got to a point where I no longer wanted to do it anymore. That is all he wants sexually though, and every time we had sex, it's all he would talk about. He wanted me to talk about being with another man, cheating on him, who he wanted me to be with, etc. It got to the point where I absolutely dreaded having sex with him and more often then not, sex ended with me crying in the bathroom. We fell into a pattern where he wanted to talk about me having sex with other men, I would refuse, he would continue to push the subject, I'd relent, which would soon lead to him trying to set it up, I'd refuse, he would continue to push the subject, I'd relent, etc. At one point I threatened to leave him and we went to counseling about it. The therapist told him that because of his personality, he can not handle this fantasy, it will not stay a fantasy and he needs to stop it. It stopped for a few months and then it wheedled its way back into our lives. He says he cannot live without it.

I am now 6 months pregnant with a child that we do not know if DH is the father of. I took this pregnancy as my notice that I can not give in to this anymore. I refuse to let him take me down that path again. He knows how much I hate it, and that I feel it is damaging our relationship, but he feels that because he goes to work at a job he hates for 40 hours a week, I shouldn't complain about doing this for half an hour every once in a while. He said that our child and I get something out of this arrangement (me staying home), but he gets nothing and this is all he is asking for. He told me that I need to think about this.

So, my question is, which of us is being unreasonable? Is it wrong of him to ask this of me? Is it wrong of me to refuse him? Should I just do the talking and refuse to do the actions, or am I justified in trying to cut this behavior out altogether?

SECOND POST AFTER BEING QUESTIONED AS TO WHY SHE'S WITH HIM AT ALL
This is our only issue. He is an excellent father. He has no problem with this child not possibly being his. To him, it is not an issue.

We have been together for 15 years and this is not something I will leave him over. I will continue to refuse, and if he wants to leave me over it, that will be on him. I feel that this is an addiction that he needs to get help for, while he feels that it's perfectly normal (because he has run into many similar men online). He feels that the problem is that I refuse to do it now.

I don't know how comfortable I am with role playing any sort of situation with me doing something with other men because it always escalates. I feel that it's like giving an alcoholic a sip of beer.

Her reference to role playing was because someone suggested her husband pretend to be a stranger and pick her up and whatnot thinking that may satisfy him.

THIRD POST IN RESPONSE TO SOMEONE ASKING WHAT HE SAYS WHEN SHE REFUSES
We haven't really had sex very much since I told him I wouldn't do it anymore (6 months). I've been really sick with this pregnancy. The few times we've done it and he's tried to bring it up, he either shuts up, or gets upset and stops having sex.

He just brought it up again today after about a month, told me his argument and asked me to think about it. I plan on telling him again that I refuse and I think that he needs to go back to the therapist, either the one we saw or a new one if he's so sure that the first one was wrong.

FOURTH POST AFTER BEING QUESTIONED ABOUT HER HEALTH AND SAFETY
Not that it makes that much of a difference, but I do want to clarify that I do not have sex with strangers. In the 15 years we've been together, there have been 5 different men, all of whom were friends of my husband. We used protection with each one, but the last time, the condom broke. There were years in between each of the acts, but it is something that he always wants to talk about.

FIFTH POST RESPONDING TO SOMEONE WHO SAID SHE NEEDED TO QUIT MAKING EXCUSES

I don't. He just came up with this argument about how he hates his job but he does it for us, so I should be willing to do this for him and told me to think about it. I said I would, with absolutely no intention of entertaining the idea, and I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something and being a bitch somehow. I guess I just wanted some validation that I was not being the unreasonable one. I talked about this with a friend IRL once, and the therapist told me that it was wrong of me to involve other people in our relationship (ironic huh? I just realized that). So, I turned to the most anonymous form I could think of so as not to involve others in our relationship.

SIXTH POST WHEN ASKED WHAT SHE'S GOING TO DO IF THE BABY SHE'S CARRYING ISN'T HER HUSBAND'S
We will probably have a paternity test. I know it's awful but we won't tell the other man if it is his. He is very young and just starting out in life, he does not need this to complicate his life.

I realize it sounds horrible, and perhaps it is. When my husband told him that I was pregnant (we told him that I am a month farther along than I am), he freaked out at the possibility that it could be his. Before he told him that it couldn't be his, he had already started saying that he couldn't handle that and he didn't know what to do. He was relieved to hear that it couldn't be his. I realize that it is wrong to lie to him if it is his, but that is something that I'm going to have to deal with between myself and God because I am simply not strong enough to deal with it. Right now I'm just praying that it is my husband's and this was all a big scare to show me that I need to stop letting him treat me like that.

And that was her last post even though the thread has continued without her. The subject material is hard to believe (although we DO have furries here on this site, you know

) but every one of her posts has been answering direct questions and not adding to the drama. I just don't know.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:19:54 AM EDT

[#47]

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:20:18 AM EDT

[#48]

Tell him to go fuck his own guy friends.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:26:27 AM EDT

[#49]

Some people get off on being degraded. Being shit on, beaten, whatever.

For most guys, having your wife fucked by another guy is worse. Waaaaaaaay worse. We'd jump into raging volcanos first. This guy gets off on it.

They're not going to fix him. Counseling might make him quieter about what he wants, but it's not going to change it. She needs to eject.

Posted: 3/29/2009 9:28:50 AM EDT

[#50]

Fuck

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Mens' opinions--------what is wrong with this guy? (Page 2 of 4)

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