Where's sailsail's thread?

she caught me beatin it, a couple times...  never offered to help, bitch...

In college I had a dorm room to myself but my one buddy who didn't go to college there and lived 20 mins away would always stay over and sleep in the extra bed since his girl lived on campus and we partied and shit together... One day I went to class while he was hanging out in the room and he invited his hot ass g/f over... Well I come back from class and walk in the room and look to my left and right at my eye level about 2 feet away I see his butthole from where he's squatted down like a catcher bangin his hot ass g/f doggy...  That was pretty fucked up, I just left and let him finish but damn she was friggin hot!

Tag

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Mid 20s.  I brought home a stripper, and one of the two asshole roommates starts belching in the other room.

Dylan, if you're out there, fuck you.

When I lived in the dorms we had a creepy guy who was about 5 years older then everyone else. I'll skip to the meat of the story: One night he locked himself in his room and cut his fingers off his left hand with a hatchet. Then he busted out his window and jumped from the 3rd floor into a bush and ran off.

We thought that was the end of it, until two days later he was seen coming into the building with an ax (not the hatchet from earlier.) He followed people around the dorm floor (without the ax, not sure where that went.) Then ran away from security.

in preliminary EOD school i had this room mate who had gotten out of basic 2 weeks before me, he had already taken the prelim course and failed. but they were letting his whole class redo it again, so obviously he knew everything in the world.
he would lock me out of the room when i was in the shower and just about every other chance he got. which resulted in me beating the living shit out of the door to get him to open it, thus waking up the adjascent 6 rooms and getting the attention of the dorm guards. when they opened the door he was sitting on his bed lookin at the door with the lights on, his answer "i must have fallen asleep or somethin, i didnt hear the knocking" i almost killed him.
he would regularly take stories i told and said they happended to him. he also told me that he fought 5 ninjas. with swords. and won. he was unarmed.
he told he about how he was a 3rd degree blackbelt and all this shit. he would grab me by the throat sometimes when we'd get into arguments, and i'd slam his face into the wall behind me.(almost weekly) he was not a very good blackbelt. he never got up the nerve to take a swing at me.
he was my room mate for about 2 weeks.
we made it to the real EOD school and he failed out i the second division.
punkass.
he was also the kind of guy that gave himself a nickname.
his was "joker"
he had really gay joker tattoos all over.

worst roommate ever

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Shay

PCP?

This doesn't have to do with a roommate but I'll one up all you drunk pissers... When I was in college I got absolutely destroyed one night and decided I didn't want to walk all the way to my dorm and that I would just go sneak into my girlfriend's dorm even tho it was 2AM and I wasn't allowed in their building after 11PM. I got one of her friends to let me in and after beating on her door to wake her up, I got in her room with no problem but had the urge to shit, so I snuck out and went a floor up where I didn't have to go by dorm rooms where the doors were still open. I get up there and go in the bathroom to take my shit and when I came out I saw a girl walking down the hall and she calls out "hey!!" cuz I'm not supposed to be there, I bust ass down the hall and the staircase and back into the safety of my girl's dorm room. Next morning I sneak out and go to class and meet up with my girl for lunch, she then asks me if I took a shit in the girl's shower stall on the third floor which I valiantly denied....  My only question was what the hell did i use for TP in the girl's shower???   LOL

Ohhhh, and I forgot this little incident............in addition to my roommate having sex in HIS bed while I'm there......I had went home one weekend and came back on Sunday.  When I get there he and his GF are sitting on his bed.  Now, I always made my bed when I was gone on the weekend, so I get back and the covers on my bed are all moved around and my pillow is missing.....I ask him what the hell happened, he turns and looks at his GF and they both laugh.  Then he proceds to tell me that he and his GF had sex on MY bed because he didn't want to get anything on his sheets....AND......that the GF had got "stuff" on my pillow so they threw it away.  I asked him NOT to elaborate on what the "stuff" was.  

I threw away the sheets and changed the mattress and made him buy me new sheets and a new pillow......

My buddy and former room mate had a penchant towards ugly women. You see he was less concerned with looks and more concerned with the ease of getting her to do dirty shit. One night I'm woken at around 3AM by what sounded like a pig or perhaps a horse being slaughtered in his room next door. Ehhhh eeee, Ehhhhh eeeee!



I step outside to get a better listen and there where three or four other guys in the hall with similar looks of concern. After a few minutes roommates door opens and he steps outside for a smoke. Turns out he was porking this fat ugly chick he had just met and decided to cram it in her ass and hold on for the ride. Yep  she got the surprise buttsecks.

He ended up shagging her every night for a few weeks. I turned up my stereo.  





 

I'd told my fat, everquest-loving roommate (would stay up until 3am playing in his pastel-colored tighty-whities, we had one room together, no seperation) that my GF and my parents were coming up for my birthday at least a week beforehand and he was either to be asleep and covered (he slept in his underwear without a sheet) or awake and dressed at 10am that day when they arrived.  They hit the intercom saying to come down so I left with him still asleep thinking we'd go to brunch and then deal with presents, etc.  That was not to be, they insisted on immediately carrying my presents up to my room.

I unlocked the door and let my GF go in first.  Apparently he was woken up by the intercom as he was sitting in his computer chair, in his baby-blue underwear and staring/drooling at my gf from 3' away when I cam in the door right after her.  She was not pleased.  Mom came in with an "oh!", Dad gave out a "huh?"

Mom told me I had to be nice to him, Dad said he understood why I hated him, GF swore she'd never come to visit if he was there. I tried to convince him to go home every weekend, wasnt hard, he was a legacy admission and a mental push-over.

I also got to hear him cry on the phone with his mom at least once a week about failing Calc 1.  I offered to help (as his mom would leave voicemails in our shared box stating to not call her again until he found a tutor and she'd pay $20/hr, etc etc), he told me he watched me "do [my] homework on the computer every day.  Calculus is hard stuff."  I was a chemical engineering major in my junior year, I was doing differential equations and fluid dynamics.

Kharn

I think we know the same guy. Spot on, point for point.

Besides all the crazed dealer guys I have roomed with in the day the craziest happened to be a super hot chick - that I grew up with.  Everything started off good then the nutty behavior began. After a while I she just started leaving her meds on the bathroom counter - I wrote down everything then did a little research; holy shit! It amazes me that doctors prescribe complicated drug cocktails to people who cannot manage their lives.  These things were "take one and half daily" or "take three every day".

Well there were about 5 bottle of crap like wellbutran (sp) and other powerful shit.  She would wake up in the middle of the night and scrub the house from top to bottom, vacuum, or wander around like a zombie one minute then be jovial and attentive the next. Once I even called a friend of my to come pick me up and I scaled the drain pipe to escape because I did not want to go by her downstairs. Scary shit

The ol 'scunderwear' trick

You know man, You really shouldn't say shit like that.
Particularly when both your roommates read this forum.

Now, allow me a chance to defend myself:

1.) I just don't care for the CZ.  It may be a great pistol, but its not my cuppa tea.  
2.) You're such a big CZ fanboy, you make me look like a minor supporter of HK by comparison.  
3.) I did have an M14.  TRW National Match courtsey of the CMP state leaseing program.  In my mind M1A = M14.
4.) I said I prefer the M14 platform to the FAL or AR10.
5.) In regards to the K31 see number 1.    

And its not like you have ANY fucking room to complain. . . .

I've always payed my fucking rent and my fucking bills on time, and attempt to keep my shit in my own fucking room.  First time you moved in, you never finished moving in, and we had your shit in the living room for 5 months.  During that time you NEGLIGENTLY DISCHARGED your CZ, leaving 2 holes in the ceiling and wall, which you never fixed, nor have you made any effort TO fix.  And so I got stuck doing it.  Then you moved out, stuck me with $113 in unpaid bills, (Electric and cable) which I ended up writing off, and then almost got us evicted because you didn't get your part of the rent in on time for several months.  You still owe our other roommate a shitload in unpaid late fees he so graciously covered for your delinquent ass.  Then you come back, and start up the same shit you did last time.  Its been a MONTH and you still haven't moved your fucking ammocans out of there, and I've fucking asked you specifically to move them on no less than 4 occasions.  


You think I'm hiding in my room because I'm odd?  Heh.  No, its because I was trying to avoid losing my temper and airing my grievances in a manner that would have ended publicly.  
Oh well, guess it did anyway, and we only had a week left on the lease. . . .

When I was stationed at Ft Campbell, five of us shared a nasty ass trailer. There were only two bedrooms. I had one and another guy had the second one. The other three guys lived on couches in the living room. One of these dirtbags brought his skank girlfriend from germany to live with us as well. I come back from being in the field for 3 weeks and my bedroom is trashed. There is vaseline all over my alarm clock and bed. Im talking about at least two of the big tubs worth of vaseline. There are shit stains all over the freakin place. Turns out Hermie and my room mate are into scat and dirty butseks and decided since I wasnt there....oh well. I spent about five minutes packing my stuff and two minutes whipping his ass.

Ouch!

OK here goes.

It's my Freshman year at college and I'm a computer science major at a small Christian School. In any event I find out the summer before that the guy I'm also going to be rooming with is a computer science major, so that should be cool (or so I think). Well...

I get to school on move in day, and we meet and kinda set up the room and it's mostly OK. So then for the first couple days he sleeps through all the welcome week activities and doesn't try to meet anyone or anything. But whatever - I mean, I can deal with that.

So welcome week comes and goes and class starts. We have this one cornerstone (foundation) class, and it's super easy, but he never shows up. It was by far the easiest class I've ever taken, and I think he came once. In any event, so far all these complaints are academic and don't have much to do with him as a roommate....(I successfully predicted he would flunk out by Thanksgiving .. +1 for me)...... well let me tell you about that...

For one, he was messy as hell - and I'm no neat freak, so that's quite a statement.

So about a week after we first move in, I'm coming up to our room after class or lunch or something, and I hear a hair dryer. Now, bear in mind that it's 109 outside as we are in a heat spell, AND the AC in our building sucks. Well, I figured it was someone in the bathroom, but it wasn't. I come into my room, and it's hot, and the sound of the hairdryer is coming from there. Well, you might think the he was using the hair dryer on his head, like a normal person... but noooooooo....... IT WAS ON THE FLOOR, POINTED AT HIS FEET!!! WTF Sometimes he would get under massive amounts of blankets and point it at his chest

Sometimes he would leave it on for HOURS AT A TIME. Literally. Once, it was a Saturday morning, and I was sleeping in, and he had TURNED OFF THE AC that night while I was asleep, but I turned it on at like 8:30 am since I was burning up, so he turned on the hair dryer around 9:00 am, when I had planned on sleeping till at least noon.

I got up and said,

"can you turn that off; I'm trying to sleep."
-"You mean that humming sound doesn't put you to sleep, like soothing??"
"No. Can you please turn it off?"
-"But I'm cold"
"Well put a shirt on!"
- *blank stare*
"I'll tell you what. You turn off the hair dryer, I'll turn off the AC. Deal?"
-"OK whatever".

AND THEN -

I like to sleep closer to the ground (read: I hate being on the top of bunk beds, or lofts). We had our room set up with both beds near the ground. And then he mentions one weekend that he has a couch he can bring for our room. I say that's cool and together, we decide where to put it. Well I go home for the weekend, and when I come back, MY BED HAS BEEN LOFTED, AND ALL MY FREAKING STUFF MOVED AROUND. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He didn't call me, ask, or anything, he just up and lofted my bed, and rearranged all my crap.

Then that bastard flunked out and I got a roommate that I knew from high school. He was much better.

No, just mental issues is what we were told. In reality, I feel bad for the guy.

Well, when I had a roomate, I think I was the bad one, never pissed anywhere inside except the toilet, but I did almost burn the place down one night when I was drunk... Decided to cook burgers on the stove and to just lay down on the couch and "relax for a minute" while I was waiting for them to be done... Well you know what happened... Luckily the smoke detector worked.  But the place never smelled right again.

I've had a few experiences and I'll never have another fucking roommate as long as I live.  If it ever comes down to it, I'll live in a van down by the river before I ever move in with another person that isn't my GF/wife.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

I'm just waiting for him to read my reply.  Haven't said a damn word to him about it, mostly because I am curious as to when he'll make it back around to perusing this thread.

I do fully acknowledge that I have my share of faults.  I play my music a bit too loud, I'm addicted to caffeine, and I do come across as a know it all on many occasions.  But I am trying to work on my many, many flaws.

But in all honesty, of all the people who I've lived with, he's the one who has. . . irritated me the most.  And I lived with a pregnant chick, (and her kid after she had it) for 2 years.  

Best form of birth control there is, living with a pregnant chick.  (I'm not the male genetic donor.)

I had an interesting first roommate experience to say the least, not bad like many many many of these tales.  First time I had roommates (grew up with the guy, and his g/f turned wife), they really helped me out while I tried to get my current job.  They got a yorkshire terrier before I moved in, and that dog was the YAPPIEST fucker ever.  One morning I had been sleeping good and I hear the dog going ballistic in their bathroom (which in past experiences, means they put him in there while they went to the store or somewhere).  

I get up groggily and walk over to let the dog out, and find their bedroom door unlocked, so I go in to get him.  I barely open the door, and all (and I do mean ALL) I see is a big ball of flesh and ass, as they put the dog in the bedroom to have some "alone" time.  They both got startled and started horse laughing, as I must have had that look on my face like .  I back out REALLY fast, and a few minutes later they came knocking at my door laughing trying to make sure I hadn't gone blind.  After profuse apologizing on both their and my accounts, they admit they should have locked the door and I quickly fess that I should have knocked.

Fast forward a short time after I started my current job, and the roomies leave me and a few friends in the living room to study for a test.  Well all of the friends leave except for the female that I had the hots for, and we are studying for a brief while until we start studying each other.  We're gettin fairly heavy, and all of a sudden you hear the roomies' door open up and they come into the living room and we have a similar account of when I walked in on them.  The female got exceptionally embarassed and ended up going home for the night, so no pie for me...  

The female ended up not coming over for a few days out of pure embarassment for a natural thing, and eventually loosened up to where she could speak to them (albeit briefly) again.  

Shit just got real.








 

college subleased apartment. We're all on our own leases thus supposedly not responsible for damage caused by the other room mates. Well my RMs get high on shrooms and paint murals on like 2 full walls. They agree to paint over it and they did although suffice to say primer and 2 coats of paint weren't enough. Also when we all moved out due to consolidation they left all their pots and pans. despite none of the damage being mine and the fact i notified the housing agent these things happened i still had to share split of the bill. Which after eating my desposit i want to say was 400-600 dollars...so by math my room mates caused over 1600 in cleaning fees >.> Also they stole my copy of COD:WaW and pawned my playstation 2 and either pawned/trashed/stole some of my pots and pans.

Apartment I'm in now is ok just one room mate i have is OCD about hair  on the floor. 2 of my RMs have short hair. My other RM has medium and I have longish. Just because me and the room has hair when it comes cleaning day he demands we clean the floors just because of a few strands of loose hair. Good part about the same room mate though is he's buying me a year xbox live subscription as a bribe for me to sleep in the living room for when his gf comes over next week. Maybe i should of asked him for ammo or Pmags instead though

This could get interesting!




 

This thread is great!!

tag for hilarity

Ok here is mine.

I just started college this summer. I live in an apartment style housing thing on campus with two other roommates. I go out to get some chow and am gone for like 20 minutes when i come back. When I go to open the door i realize I had forgotten my key. I knock and my big tall geeky ass roommate answers the door. His girlfriend was literally right behind me and thought it was her, and was going "surprise" her. He freaks out and turns to run to his room and trips over a chair in the hallway, falling flat on his face and broke his nose. It was marvelous, except for the naked part. Me and my other roommate refer to his as "the asian". He decided he wasn't going to continue living with us in the fall for some reason.

Ok, you know the dude, but I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic, as in he's lucky to have a roommate who loves guns as much as he does, and his jabs at you were tongue in cheek.

Lessee... first rental out of college, the owner of a three bedroom TH in northern VA rented out two of the rooms.  Everything was ok for a while, until the owner stopped paying the utilities because he was constantly broke, couldn't hold a job, and smoked weed.  Fortunately I was away on vacation that fateful July day when the power was turned off during a heat wave.  The other roomie was royally pissed.

Second one, one of the roomies tried to burn the house down.

I bought my own place after that.

Oh, there's a barb there.

Like I said, you know him and I don't, that's just how it came across to me.

Bump

My first year in college, I shared a very small dorm room with a guy from Korea, didn't speak english, was addicted to porn (along with all his buddies who would come over to watch the stuff), he made his own Kimchi (sp?) and washed his feet twice a day in our little sink. I can still smell the cabbage, or is that his feet?

Okay, this is interesting... guys, please just get a long...or at least video tape the inevitable beat down and post to this thread.

This thread is why I never had a roommate all through college until I was required to do so at the police academy.  Thankfully, I had a decent roommate there.

Fuck you too!




 

The plot thickens

I don't know if this counts or not but I was someone else's horror story.  My freshman year I roomed with a guy who was double majoring in engineering (I can't recall what specifically) and physics and was somehow still a Young-Earth Creationist.  He tried to convince me I was wrong about the age and nature of the universe through the use of various straw men, logical fallacies, false premises and outright insanity.  Shit like "The reason we can see objects in the sky that are billions of light years away despite the fact the universe is only 6,000 years old is because the speed of light was much greater at Creation, has been slowing down ever since and is still getting slower today."  








Needless to say I easily defeated him thanks to my clever use of facts, reason, logic and a mountain of irrefutable scientific evidence.  He didn't seem to care for me much by the end of spring semester.

My sophomore year of college I roomed with my best friend from high school.  You would think being good friends, this would have worked out well, but alas, it was not to be.  I had always known he had a bit of an anger problem and could sometimes have "issues" but that didn't prepare me for the level of stupid that finally manifested itself.  One Saturday afternoon my dad came by to visit for some reason, I decided to show him my paintball gun as he had never seen one before.  My dumbfuck roommate sees me headed out the door and tells me that I should under no circumstances fire the paintball gun outside.  I ignore him and head on out to show my dad who's smoking his pipe in the parking lot.  

At our complex there was a thick stand of shrubbery that I knew would easily break a paintball, so I turn and shoot at it.  My father is amused, thinks its a cool toy.  I head back inside where I am greeted at the door by my roommate who is LIVID.  I'm talking bright red, stuttering, fists balled up, pissed off.  He starts screaming at me for shooting the gun outside and says he's taking the gun away from me.  I'm so shocked by the sudden onset of his anger at something that was to me so benign that I don't fight for a second as he pulls the paintball gun away from me.  Things finally register for me then and I quickly grab him, spin him around, and take my gun back.  Unfortunately, in that time span, he has managed to take the C02 tank off.  He breaks past me still holding the tank and makes it outside.  He stands in the middle of the parking lot and he's absolutely shaking mad.  He is holding the tank over his head and screaming at me that he's going to "fucking break this thing, right here!!!!" I try to explain to him that IF he could manage to break it, it's most likely to hurt him or damage vehicles, but won't affect me all that much.  He seems to have a moment of clarity and says "fine, I'll break it in the dumpster!!!"  Luckily, I was between him and the dumpster and after a bit of back and forth he decided to try to make it back to his room with the tank.  He made it about to the front door before I grabbed him and took back my C02 tank also.  Now he was REALLY pissed, and I had started to laugh at him, which of course didn't help matters.  He comes up and gets in my face, he's bright red, spitting, fists balled, the works.  I'm laughing in his face.  I explained that if he wanted to fight that was fine, but I was easily twice his strength.  While we were approximately the same weight, his was largely fat, mine was largely muscle and things would end very badly for him.  He pushed past me and sequestered himself in his room for several days.

About 3 days later I decided he had cooled down and it was time to discuss what happened, I asked him to explain his actions and his behavior.  The explanation was just as stupid as his actions were it turned out.  His "logic" was that I fired in the general direction of a flight of stairs that came down from the second floor behind a blind corner.  It was POSSIBLE in his opinion that I could have fired at the exact time that someone stepped out from around the corner, and hit them.  I allowed that if my aim was off by several feet that was sort of possible, but a paintball was hardly deadly and the whole circumstance was very unlikely.  He then told me that it didn't matter, I could have put out someones eye.  He went on to explain how I could cause someone serious damage by hitting them in the ocular bone and breaking it with the paintball.  He cited his experience as a trainer for the football team as medical proof that I was endangering someones life.

We did not speak again for 6 months until it was necessary to settle the moving out situation.  We lived completely seperate lives and that was for the best.  I decided he was seriously fucked up in the head.

I realize this story is absolutely retarded, but that's kind of the point.  What kind of crackpot flips out over a fucking paintball gun?  I'd known him for over 10 years at that point and he just went totally fucking retarded on me in a matter of seconds.  I haven't spoken to him since we parted ways.

They owned so many big, scary assault weapons... it was horrible... horrible...

Had a 6' 5"  240lb. friend that got stuck w/ a long haired Emo that wore black lipstick and nail polish as a dorm RM.  He told the resident assistant that if he didn't get a different RM someone was going to fall out a 4th floor window.  They must have believed him––he got a whole room to himself for the rest of the year.

I'm pretty sure his post was just poking fun.

This just got interesting.

This motherfucker takes the cake.





Roommate "X".. A jewish guy from New Jersey. A Fat Fuck.

(I'm not trying to incite any sort of antisemitism with this one, but the crude stereotypes run strong with this one, & this is too good to pass up)

He was a member of the same sports team, and I offered him a room because we would be traveling and competing with each other for school.




After the first month's utilities bills were due, he refused to pay for the land line into
the house because he wasn't going to use it. The cable/phone/internet
was a 2 year old package deal, and he threatened to walk out on his lease if he
was required to pay the $7 share of the phone package bill tacked on top
of the monthly utilities. Since he just moved in, and I wasn't trying to pick any fights with a guy I was going to be seeing at home and at the field every day, I caved on that one, but that should have
been my first sign.



He used to cover himself in baby powder before leaving the house. There would be puffs of baby powder, along with residue all over his bathroom. His entire room was coated in a thick dusting of baby powder.



He used to play X-box and World of Warcraft on his computer with the volume to the max.. We could here his voice com conversations with his online buddies from anywhere inside the house. When I would ask him to turn it down a notch, he would for a bit, and 10 minutes later he would jack it back up.




Late november, early december rolls around.. I buy a christmas tree, decorated with lights in the front room of the house and lights hanging out in the yard. Every time I would leave the living room for more than 10 minutes, he would unplug the lights. I finally caught him doing it, asked him why.. he said "I don't want to waste electricity and jack the utility bill up".




He went back home over the semester holiday break, went out and bought a locking door handle for his room so nobody would steal his Xbox and his computer.
. Well he left his alarm clock on, Loud as fuck on a rap station... and the first morning he left over the holiday break, 7am the alarm went off. I figured it was a wall plug, so took my groggy ass outside to the (unmarked) breaker box and started flipping breakers to try to kill the fucking alarm. Well.. it was a battery powered. I was not about to kick my own door in, so after about 20 minutes of beating on the door knob with a hammer/screwdriver, I finally got in and killed the alarm clock. (When he got back, he demanded to be paid back for his damaged locking door handle, I told him to eat shit on that one)



So before this kid left to go back home to new jersey for winter break, I told him he needed to leave a rent & utility check so I didn't have to come out of pocket for his share during the month he was gone. Well he left without giving me a check. So I call him up over the holiday break and say "You need to mail me a rent & utility check".. he says.. "I sent it yesterday, it's in the mail"... and NOTHING comes in the mail for 10 days. I finally give him another call and say "If you don't get your rent check to me before the 5th you'll be charged a $50 late fee (which is in the lease as the last day to get me the check).  So he says "well the check must have been lost in the mail.. I'll send another one". Fedex next day air comes the next day with a check.. But the last check he gave me for last month's rent was check #1045.. the check he fedexed me was #1046.. so he totally bullshitted me on sending the "lost" check.



The last straw was.. after he came back from his break, he contested the fact that I charged him utilities while he was gone. His reasoning was that "he wasn't there to use the utilities that month, therefore he should not have to pay them". I wanted to go ape shit, but as much as I tried to reason with him, he simply could not understand the fact that this isn't a fucking hotel, if your door is locked and your shit is here, you pay the same, not by the fucking hour you are here.



At the end of that.. he said he was moving back home to new jersey, and didn't have enough money to pay utilities that were due, and to take it out of his security deposit.. the next day he left on a trip to disney land.. surely because when you are short on cash, where else do you go but disneyland?
.. So I had shell out his share of the utilities until he finally moved out and a week later to get the money from his deposit.



Then.. he left the room full of garbage, caked in baby powder, coke stains on the floor, garbage in the closet.. complete disregard for any sort of human decency.