My guess is you are only hearing one side of this story, and it may be complete bullshit

Who knows this girl could just be bat shit crazy

If the parents really said that to her, and if it were really said with malice (I could see them saying it in a sarcastic way, like "poor baby, if your life is really so bad why don't you just go ahead and end it" kind of tough love way) then there really isn't an excuse for that behavior. On the other hand just because someone tells you (you being an adult) to do something doesn't mean you do it. Personal responsibility and all that. Sounds like there is a good chance she needs to be committed for awhile, for her own good. If nothing else, this could just be an attention ploy and sometimes they repeat that and accidentally get it right.

Now you brother is dead...Maybe you are proud he took your advice?..

I know I couldn't live with MYSELF knowing I pushed my brother over the edge and gave him the idea that caused his final demise..

Although he would have more than likely ended up where he is anyway....Some people do things as a cry for help and maybe if you had that last conversation with him coercing him to seek help instead of giving him an idea to bang oxy's he could still be alive....Maybe..I guess we shall never know!


Never, ever give up on anyone...because one day you just might hope "someone" might not give up on you in your greatest time of need!..

IIRC...I remember when you came here to post about how successful your "pep talk" had been concerning your brother..

That was your brother man!...Regardless of everything else..Your flesh and blood needed you and...Well, We know the rest of the story!..

I guess he is no burden to you or your family any more...

I understand where you were coming from because I have a brother who pushes his health to the limit by not doing things he should with his health but I will be damned if I ever give him your "pep talk" because my hands are extended to every human being regardless of how "Stupid" they are..Death is permanent and so are our actions,words and deeds..

We reap what we sow...Remember that!

I always remember I am human and I am subject to falling into a dark place during my life and I would hope and pray someone....ANYONE would extend their mercy and kindness to me during the time when help is what I need most..


btw...I corrected your 25 spelling grammar errors..

NOTHING warrants this type of treatment of a child by a parent.  drug-addicted whore of a daughter?  try everything you can to get her into rehab, and if all your attempts don't help, then cut ties - non-existance.  NEVER ok to tell your child that suicide is their best option.  damn.  doesn't sound like the case here, though - just sounds like HORRIBLE people who had a decent kid whom they resent.

she needs to cut all ties with them.  mourn as if they were dead.  get it all out.  and then never speak to them again.  if she sees them in a store, she should just look past them like anyone else in the crowd - absolute strangers.

she'll be in our prayers, as will those who are doing what they can to help her.

I highly doubt it was anything but dead serious. I have heard her mom call her a "fucking cunt" at least 5 times, and that was in front of me and other people, so I can only imagine what kind of treatment she gets behind closed doors.

Who knows, maybe its an attention getting move. Maybe its a cry for help. Either way, they pushed her to the brink, and she almost actually died, and they deserve to be killed for that.

Maybe not specifically illegal to convince someone that suicide is the way to go, but wouldn't shit like that(especially from family) fall under psychological abuse or even bullying laws? It should be attempted murder though. Best wishes for her, hope she pulls through and gets some support.

You better watch out, you're asking for trouble with that mentality.

I dont mean by me....

This is one of those cases where you wish hanging was still a valid execution method

If I get a chance later, I'll post more details, theres some stuff I left out here and there for simplicitys sake, and most all of it makes the parents look that much shittier.

Wow, that kind of worthless sacks of shit would tell a mentally disturbed/suicidal person to kill themselves.

Even if she's a drug addicted slut, nobody deserves to be told to kill themselves. Sure, saying "you're going to end up dead" can be warranted and MIGHT give someone the initiative to seek help, but "you're a worthless piece of shit and should kill yourself" should never be used. Even the worst heroin addict can get help and turn their life around. Two sides or not, nobody should tell another to commit suicide. if they try and succeed it's the same as murder-the person would still be alive if not for the convincing.
Again-OP, I hope recovery goes well and she gets help. Sounds like she has a good friend for support if the friend is willing to share her house. Good.

I'm just saying, with my big bro cap on, that hot girls seemingly in distress can sucker guys into doing dumb shit. Take a big step back and make sure your emotions are under control whenever you partake in this mess, for your own good.

We're all handling this as a group. Its a fairly close-knit group of guys and girls, and we've agreed to try and help her together, rather than individually. My girlfriend is hotter anyway

We & group refers to?

I wasnt too clear in the OP. This girl is part of a circle of friends from a church group, mostly 23-28 age wise. Split down the middle guys and girls. A couple of the girls have opened their homes to this girl, a couple of the guys have spoken to church staff to see if they cant get her in touch with some sort of counseling, etc. What I meant was, everyone is kind of 'pulling together' to help her, rather than individually. There are a couple guys in the group that I can see trying to take advantage of her in this weak state, and we dont want that to happen.

updated

proud? no...something else other than pride. I guess his sarcasm detector was broken, I find it ironic that he would never listen to any of us, and when I told him that if he wasn't gonna listen he should just give up since it was inevitable anyway...it would figure that the one time he listened would be in this case.


Well, shitty roommate or not I live with myself. I'm not convinced my words pushed him over the edge, I mean he never listened to any of us before, and I basically told him that "hey, we've tried forcing you to get clean, we've tried hospitals and law enforcement and everything available, the missing component seems to be that you don't want to quit, that you don't care...if you won't accept our help you are gonna die, its selfish of you to drag us to the unavoidable end if you have no intention of changing, either accept help or check out because you're killing your family too." The idea was to get him to see reason and accept help.

That day I was dragging his stumbling ass to his couch to get him out of the road and he insisted he could walk, made me let him go, but he took 3 steps or so and fell in the creek face down and started bubbling, I probably should have stood on him until he quit rather than drag him out and help him to his couch so he could do it again the next day. If he'd died that way it wouldn't have broken as many hearts.

Perhaps this sounds cold or inhuman to you. I assure you I am 100% human.



Well, you know, what I did WAS me trying to coerce him into accepting help. Which is kinda dumb, really, since we've spent years trying to help to no avail because he doesn't DIDN'T care. (its like he's still here, being a general pain in the ass sometimes) How many times have I had to go up some dark holler at midnight to some run down house of a thousand corpses party shack of bikers, thieves, and scum, to save him from the fights he'd got wasted and started there over some stupid shit, usually a whore...I've long since lost count. I'd like to have right now every dollar of bail money spent on him. I'd like to have the money spent covering property damage he's caused, usually doing shit like ordering his girlfriend to leave but then smashing her windshield and slashing her tires and beating her up for trying to leave. He got more help than he probably had a right to receive, all told. I wash my hands of it.


Hope in one hand....
Yah, I agree, but we all went to our limit with Tim, we carried him as far as we could (both figuratively and literally), farther even, and in the end the problem was not that he couldn't walk but that he refused...and when I basically told him that I was through waiting on him to start accepting help, that he would have to accept a hand up before he got another handout...he decided to check out. I think my record in this regard is one of commendable patience and resolve and his was one of selfishness and petty spite...and his giving up is not a stain upon me.
And thats the problem, he gave up on life, all I did was point out that refusing to accept help to chage was the same as offing himself only more drawn out.

I never gave him a powerpoint presentation on why he should kill himself.


I remember too, I was angry that he was stupid enough to off himself like that, I was angry at myself for knowing he would never change but letting myself be blinded by hope that he would finally make an effort to get clean. I was really angry at how hard the rest of the family had taken it. Now. I'm not so much angry as merely dissapointed. I did all I could, he didn't really want to live if he couldn't continue as a party animal it seems. So fuck it, ya know, its not my place to make him behave, his life was his and he chose to end it rather than better it. He was free to destroy his life, which he did, he was then free to correct it or kill himself, whether he did it slowly or quickly is really immaterial.


He had us, all of us, taking care of him, trying to stop him from damaging other people and their property because he was messed up and violent, trying to stop him from stealing or dealing to stay high, offering him every kindness and forgiveness and even free ass whoopings, which the KSP often helped with by roughing him up before we got there. (and seriously, when you try to knife a state trooper because he's a "bastard" for not letting you burn down your girlfriends house, him macing you and clubbing you a little but then only charging you with disorderly or domestic is kind of forgiving in itself)
Looking back, I'm tempted to say his problem was too much support and forgiveness, but the times he got just the opposite never really helped either, except for the next few days.


well, you'd be wrong. He's now a burden that cannot be readily dealt with. I'm still paying on his funeral bill. The old man and his sisters are still traumatized somewhat but have now taken to only saying good things about him, only remembering the good, I simply cannot do that. It was always me who was the evil one if I didn't risk myself to save him from himself. I guess I'll be evil forever now. Thats fine.


Hey man thats your show, you handle that the best you can, I won't judge you, it's not my place. I hope your brother at least accepts help.


Remember it hell...I sometimes want nothing more than to forget.


I have enough faith in humanity, on average, in people like yourself, to believe that such help is available if needed. The sticking point is accepting that help. I hope I'm never so selfish or prideful to refuse that help when offered.


why thank you friend, as ole Tim would say "that's mighty white of you..."

OP-just read your update-great news. Sounds like she has a good group of friends to help her through this.

This.  What do we know about the girl? not much.  If she is 14 and the product of a shitty environment it would be sad, but how do I know she isn't some 26 year old dope fiend living at home who steals from her parents?

We have known her pretty well for the past 2 years. She isnt, I know that much for sure.

She was in an abusive relationship at Arkansas State University, the guy turned out to be a stalker, she had to leave the school. Parents never forgave her for leaving University and coming home to go to community college. That was the biggest factor.