If your cat/dog could text you while you are away...what would they have to say. - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If your cat/dog could text you while you are away...what would they have to say. (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:18:13 PM EDT

[#1]

Dude where did you leave the remote?

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:18:35 PM EDT

[#2]

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:18:47 PM EDT

[#3]

ruff

IS THAT A CAR IN THE DRIVE?

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:20:27 PM EDT

[#4]

There's squirrels outside...I can't open the door hurry home.....oh...and cat turds do taste like almonds ....

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Posted: 1/25/2014 4:27:49 PM EDT

[#5]

My smartass rabbit would take a selfie followed by "this shit is so much fun!"

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:28:37 PM EDT

[#6]

Request an automatic food dispenser and a cat door and then suggest a one way ticket to siberia for myself.

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:30:19 PM EDT

[#7]

Can we eat the mailman today you only left out five pounds of dog food

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:33:12 PM EDT

[#8]

Dear Asshole,

I ate your favorite holster, chewed the end cap off your flashlight, and modified your retention knife while you were away.

Love, Scout

ps... your data logbook was de-lish

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:33:28 PM EDT

[#9]

Hurry home, im hungry and want to be petted.

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:37:33 PM EDT

[#10]

woof

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:38:30 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
Dude where did you leave the remote?

View Quote

NVM found it.

-2 hrs later-

Dude somebody chewed up the remote.

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:39:23 PM EDT

[#12]

Come home soon!

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:47:04 PM EDT

[#13]

Cat #1: Tell the fat one to stop chasing me!
Cat #2: Hey, I just woke up. I'm hungry.

Still Hungry

STILL Hungry - no food in my bowl

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! I'M HUNGRY! NOW!

Gonna take a nap. Fill my bowl before I wake up. please. /rollseyes

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:51:19 PM EDT

[#14]

woof

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:53:57 PM EDT

[#15]

WOOF WOOF WOOF

SOMEONE DROVE BY
WOOF

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:56:38 PM EDT

[#16]

im humping your pillow,fuck you

Posted: 1/25/2014 4:57:22 PM EDT

[#17]

Come back home!

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:01:55 PM EDT

[#18]

WOOF WOOF WOOF, what was that

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:15:17 PM EDT

[#19]

Jed: Doohood! Hannah is bieng a grumpy bitch again, She's staring at me and growling. I'm going to have to tune her up again if you don't get home soon!

Hannah: Jed stole my pillow, bit me twice, shoved the ball in my face while I was trying to sleep..I'm going to kick his ass and take his spot on the couch.

Jed: Hannah bit me, and the bitch hid my ball. Get me another glow ball man!

Hannah: Jed bit me on the leg when I was trying to play with the ball. The fire is getting low in the stove and it's cold in here. Shouldn't you be here to load the stove.

The two of them go back and forth like little kids when we are home.

Jed usually goes everywhere with me to give Hannah a break so she can get a nap in.
I never had a dog that would prank the other, but these two do it all the damn time.

Hannah hides jeds toys. Jed steals Hannahs pillows and moves her bed away from in front of the wood stove.

Both compete for the Poncho liner when it's on the couch.
Both Nag like old wives to go for swims and runs in the fields.

It's actually a GOOD thing they cant talk or text.

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:23:36 PM EDT

[#20]

I just spread the garbage out in the living room and went thru it. It is all ok. Hurry home so you can put it back in the can.

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:24:06 PM EDT

[#21]

is that you?

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:27:37 PM EDT

[#22]

OH MY GAWD, YOU THREW THAT IN THE BIG BLACK BAG

IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:30:26 PM EDT

[#23]

"Come home, I need to hump your leg."

"You forgot to feed me again."

"There's this guy breaking in. What should I do?"

"Please don't bring home that Police Officer freind of yours. He scares me."

Aloha, Mark

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:30:27 PM EDT

[#24]

WOOF

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:33:28 PM EDT

[#25]

"I got the bead on the cat next door. Do I have permission to terminate?"

Aloha, Mark

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:34:02 PM EDT

[#26]

I just chewed air holes in your new leather jacket! Aren't you proud of me?

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:35:43 PM EDT

[#27]

Oh, I see you have yet AGAIN cleaned the lovingly placed urine from your oak cabinet Klipsch speaker. Now you have forced my hand and I must summon up a swell of my finest marking pee to recreate my finest masterpiece! I don't see why you can't leave it alone, all of this reapplication is ruining the wood floor.....

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:37:22 PM EDT

[#28]

Ball, ball, ball, BALL, BALL, BALL!!!!! Hurry up and get home the ball won't throw itself!

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:37:36 PM EDT

[#29]

I'm hungry, when ya coming home, didn't know your bed was so comfortable, why'd you put the seat down, that's the best tasting water in the house.......

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:38:48 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
We have a border collie, so it would be a few paragraphs worth, with the last part being a haiku so she could come across as ironic and witty.

View Quote

Yeah, BCs are always very verbose, they love to hear themselves talk....

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:55:17 PM EDT

[#31]

"why did u leave the house when u know i did not want u to? when are u coming home? are u bringing me anything to eat? u should not have left when i did not want u to leave! I disapprove!"

Posted: 1/25/2014 5:57:01 PM EDT

[#32]

I have a 4 month old German Shephard. It would probably go like this

"Dad!"
"...daaaddddd"
"Daddddd!"
"DADDDDDD!!!"

Me: what?

"Hi!"

Posted: 1/25/2014 6:05:29 PM EDT

[#33]

Rott pup....I gotta pee.

Basset....When did you leave? Must have missed it.

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Posted: 1/25/2014 6:08:08 PM EDT

[#34]

My 10 month old lab:

"I'm getting real sick of your shit dad. You leave me for 2 days to go to work. I need you here but the roommate is nice. I'm so scared you're never coming back. Please hurry home I need my belly rubbed while chilling on the couch. "

Her brother:
"Leave me alone fuckhead I'm trying to sleep. I'm so tired from doing nothing all day besides sleeping"

Posted: 1/25/2014 6:08:26 PM EDT

[#35]

Dude that guy in the blue uniform that drives the little white truck was here again. I heard the truck from half a block away. I barked at him and scared him away but he left something in front of the house again. Ill keep an eye out for the guy in the big brown truck. Don't worry I know the sound of his brakes.

Posted: 1/25/2014 6:12:28 PM EDT

[#36]

I'm a good boy!! I'm protecting the house from all those cars that drive by. I'm a good boy!!

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:00:35 PM EDT

[#37]

Since you've left again, I just need to remind you:

PIG'S EARS, motherfucker, pig's ears.

Bring home one more bag of those cheap bulk rawhides and I'll show you that I CAN reach that canvasback mounted above the doorway.

Btw, found some shit on the carpet. It's about 3" from the linoleum in the same spot it usually shows up at.

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:10:04 PM EDT

[#38]

Hercules: Scruff is barking at nothing again, and it's keeping me awake.

Scruff: THE NEIGHBOR JUST SHUT HIS CAR DOOR, ZOMG

Myles: Why did you leave my frisbee outside where I can see it through the window but not play with it? I'll eat this sock instead...

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:21:34 PM EDT

[#39]

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:23:52 PM EDT

[#40]

Your girlfriends dogs don't shut the fuck up. Can I go over and beat their asses?

ETA: Spoken from my GSD's view, she hates dogs, and my girlfriends dogs bark nonstop if my GSD is out.

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:26:27 PM EDT

[#41]

Shitter's full.

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:29:51 PM EDT

[#42]

uh yea uh hey uh if you dont tell me NO i'm just gonna have to bite a hole in this MF. Please respond??

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:33:20 PM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
Dude that guy in the blue uniform that drives the little white truck was here again. I heard the truck from half a block away. I barked at him and scared him away but he left something in front of the house again. Ill keep an eye out for the guy in the big brown truck. Don't worry I know the sound of his brakes.

View Quote

Our postal guys drop it next to the door, knock once and haul ass.

Our dog doesn't leave the doorway but he squares up and stares

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:36:07 PM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:
Thanks for going to the beach without me, I hate you.

View Quote

Hahahahahahaha

Exactly!

Mine would say, "She didn't take me for a walk....again"

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:39:22 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:

http://i813.photobucket.com/albums/zz55/ma96782/sniperdog3.jpg
"I got the bead on the cat next door. Do I have permission to terminate?"

Aloha, Mark

View Quote

Good Dog!

Posted: 1/25/2014 9:48:33 PM EDT

[#46]

If my dog could speak

Posted: 1/26/2014 5:08:09 AM EDT

[#47]

Quote History

Quoted:

Our postal guys drop it next to the door, knock once and haul ass.

Our dog doesn't leave the doorway but he squares up and stares

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Dude that guy in the blue uniform that drives the little white truck was here again. I heard the truck from half a block away. I barked at him and scared him away but he left something in front of the house again. Ill keep an eye out for the guy in the big brown truck. Don't worry I know the sound of his brakes.

Our postal guys drop it next to the door, knock once and haul ass.

Our dog doesn't leave the doorway but he squares up and stares

My old boxer lab mix cracked me up. I moved from CA back to IL with him when he was about 2 yo. I was standing next to him in the front yard when the UPS truck came rolling down the street for the first time since the move. His mouth literaly dropped open and his eyes were like saucers. Lol, he's like, "WTF! How did he find us!". He was so pissed off he was shaking with his hair on end.

Posted: 1/26/2014 5:14:41 AM EDT

[#48]

CRAPPED ON TEH FLOR AGAIN COME HOME AND CLEAN IT

WHER ARE YU? HUNGRY!

ATE YOUR PLANT AND BARFED ON TEH COUCH SRY

STIL HUNGRY!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If your cat/dog could text you while you are away...what would they have to say. (Page 2 of 2)

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