Hugging other people's children. What would you have done? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Hugging other people's children. What would you have done? (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 1/31/2011 8:57:55 AM EDT

[#1]

Lots of older women also think it's OK to walk up and rub the belly of pregnant women.

OP did right BTW.

Posted: 1/31/2011 8:57:58 AM EDT

[#2]

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

Posted: 1/31/2011 8:58:43 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Oh, I thought this was going to be about a functional adult hugging other people's kids.
My GF's mom touches babies in their strollers while in public if left unguarded, just playing with their hands or noses, but you wouldn't believe how offended she gets when parents tell her to back off. "But I'm an elementary school librarian!" doesn't convince many parents she's in the right.

Kharn

My wife and I had a teenage girl walk up and actually try to take our baby from my wife's arms.

She was going on about how cute our daughter was and all. I'm sure she meant well, but my wife's fangs came out pretty quickly.

Nice. Don't mess with mama bear.

Around these parts, Hispanic people like to touch babies' foreheads/faces to ward off the "ojo," the vernacular for what is known as the "evil eye." My wife and I are extremely protective of our twin girls, so naturally this didn't fly well for us.

Then they wonder why disease travels so quickly.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:00:10 AM EDT

[#4]

id have patted him on the shoulder. or shot him in the face, depends on my mood.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:00:30 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
My wife, kid, and some friends were sitting in a restaurant waiting to be seated Friday night. In walks a couple with a 6 or 7 year old Down's Syndrome boy. The kid walks straight to me and sticks out his hand. I shake it. Then he reaches his arms out to hug me. I hugged him back. He was a sweet little booger, started playing with his mom's iPhone right after that. His mom and dad looked slightly embarrassed but were smiling. I said a few words to them about children that age, but didn't know quite what to say.

What would you have done? (besides blade, pull your ccw, yada, yada)

You did good.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:00:31 AM EDT

[#6]

Give him a Hug?

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:01:43 AM EDT

[#7]

The same.....Well done.

I looked after a Downs kid on my school bus (no short bus back then) when I was a kid and Rusty would shake hands and hug everyone that got on the bus unless he was feeling sick. We even put a sign in the window where he would have to sit that said Rusty's Bus. He was poud as could be of that. Woe to the foolish kid that poked fun at him. Instant butt-whipping.

A friend and myself would walk him home, let him in the house, get him a snack, and play till his Mom got home from work about a half-hour later. She was never late.

Sadly Rusty passed away in my Junior year of HS. I'll bet most the kids in school that ever rode Rusty's bus went to his grave-side funeral. The graveyard was next to our high school so we just walked over. The teachers could not figure out why so many kids showed up nicely dressed that morning till we told them so we could all get a pass.

I always think of Rusty when I see a Downs kid.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:05:06 AM EDT

[#8]

I would have patted him on the head. I don't hug strangers' kids.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:05:55 AM EDT

[#9]

I think if they initiate it and it's in front of their parents it is ok. That said I had a little bit of an uncomfortable moment last year at the end of my daughters color guard season. Me and a couple other fathers help out during the seasons. We are around the girls a lot and are all close. After they won last year I gave my girls hugs and a couple hi fives to other girls. One girl whose father had died and is close to my girls gave me a hug which I reciprocated. Nothing funny or wrong happened but I told her mother what happened. She had no problem with it and thanked me because we (fathers) always support the girls. I think you just have to be careful.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:06:55 AM EDT

[#10]

Hug the kid, big deal.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:11:22 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:

As an attractive, fit, yet oddly single, male in his late 30's I stay the fuck away from other peoples children.

Soooo, if you were an ugly, fat, married 60-year-old you'd be doing what exactly with other peoples' kids?

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:14:18 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

dude.......need a hug?

RG

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:30:38 AM EDT

[#13]

Good hug.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:33:31 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
I would have done the exact same thing.

Me, too.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:39:05 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

dude.......need a hug?

RG

Last time you grabbed my ass.

TRG

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:39:50 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Uh, hug the kid.

When the girls get to be teenagers then you have to sometimes blade to make sure it's a side hug as they can get a little friendly at that age.

lol. That and their boobs start to get huge and perky. You don't want to do a full frontal boob smashing hug with your friends daughter or some random teenager. That would be awkward to say the least.

I dont? Oh uh, yeah....no, I dont

My first is due in a few days and its a girl. Ive much to learn yet

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:41:17 AM EDT

[#17]

pretty much what you did, plus

Quoted:
Uh, hug the kid.

When the girls get to be teenagers then you have to sometimes blade to make sure it's a side hug as they can get a little friendly at that age.

/

IE the sideways church hug to someone I dont really care for but need to maintain non negative relations with––––like the wife unit.

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:46:35 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

dude.......need a hug?

RG

Last time you grabbed my ass.

TRG

LOL.....I told you that was an accident

..............

RG

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:47:48 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

dude.......need a hug?

RG

Last time you grabbed my ass.

TRG

LOL.....I told you that was an accident

..............

RG

And slipping me some tongue was ?

TRG

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:51:07 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I would have done the exact same thing.

Yup

Posted: 1/31/2011 9:56:34 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

dude.......need a hug?

RG

Last time you grabbed my ass.

TRG

LOL.....I told you that was an accident

..............

RG

And slipping me some tongue was ?

TRG

......incidental contact.......

RG

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:02:00 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Really? A thread was needed for this?

Unless I had a pocket full of peanuts to throw at the kid while making monkey noises, then I shake his hand, give him a hug and let it go.

Hell, I am wishing I had peanuts to throw at you for posting this thread.

TRG

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:03:57 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

I would have done the exact same thing.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:05:25 AM EDT

[#24]

If I know the people and a kid wants a hug I'll give them a hug. Hell most of the kids that we know run up and give me and the wife hugs anyway, I volunteer at my kids school and our house is kid central (I have four kids, more land than most of our subdivision bound friends, two play structures, big live oaks for climbing, a zip line, two soccer goals, dirt bikes, four wheelers, a pond to fish in a tree stand to shoot out of...) so they all know me.

It's no skin off my back and it will likely make the kid happy.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:07:25 AM EDT

[#25]

Did you "blade" at 45 degrees?

Just kidding, of course.

Some tribes believed that the "mentally challeged" were favored by the gods. Sometimes I think they were right.

That kid probably thinks the whole world is made of love...keep that thought for me because I know it is not and sometimes I wish I did too.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:14:03 AM EDT

[#26]

I would have done the same thing.
Now there is a family friend with a slightly mentally handicapped (not sure what to call it or what it is) 4 year old, who hugs and kisses people.
I give the hug, but kinda push him at arms length when he tries to kiss me (kisses his parents goodbye and goodnight).
WTF do you do in that situation? Worst part is my gf gives me crap right then and there infront of him boosting his expectations

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:18:44 AM EDT

[#27]

Heck no, I ain't touching no tard, you should have blades and wolf stated him, established dominamce, than foed out of there.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:21:36 AM EDT

[#28]

I can't stand when strangers feel the need to touch or kiss my baby girl. I know they mean well, but the waitress isn't getting an extra tip because they fawn all over her and give her a kiss. It may be genuine, but jeesh, I don't know where your lips and hands have been!

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:32:33 AM EDT

[#29]

My wife teaches Kindergarten at a school near our home.

Most, if not all, of her students are Hispanic and not very well off for the most part.

Once in a while when I'm off work during a school day, I'll go by her school and pick her up for lunch.

A lot of her kids like to give me hugs and I'll hug them right back...I'm 99% sure, that in some cases, the hugs that my wife and I give them are the only ones they ever get.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:32:34 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Punch him in the face and draw down.

YOU WILL NOT HUG ME!!! YOU WILL NOT HUG ME!!!!!

this

and more llama

Unfortunately a lot of our fellow member fail at situational awareness. It's a known fact that gang bangers often disguise themselves as young handicap children. OP probably had his wallet stolen and didn't even know it.

Posted: 1/31/2011 10:50:09 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

The same.....Well done.

I looked after a Downs kid on my school bus (no short bus back then) when I was a kid and Rusty would shake hands and hug everyone that got on the bus unless he was feeling sick. We even put a sign in the window where he would have to sit that said Rusty's Bus. He was poud as could be of that. Woe to the foolish kid that poked fun at him. Instant butt-whipping.

A friend and myself would walk him home, let him in the house, get him a snack, and play till his Mom got home from work about a half-hour later. She was never late.

Sadly Rusty passed away in my Junior year of HS. I'll bet most the kids in school that ever rode Rusty's bus went to his grave-side funeral. The graveyard was next to our high school so we just walked over. The teachers could not figure out why so many kids showed up nicely dressed that morning till we told them so we could all get a pass.

I always think of Rusty when I see a Downs kid.

to you.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:00:57 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:

As an attractive, fit, yet oddly single, male in his late 30's I stay the fuck away from other peoples children.

Soooo, if you were an ugly, fat, married 60-year-old you'd be doing what exactly with other peoples' kids?

I would be less concerned about being accused of anything and would be more willing to interact with children.

A jury will be friendlier to a father and husband(normal) than they would to me(not the norm) in a case of inappropriate contact with a child. I wont take any chances when it comes to being wrongfully accused of being a child molester.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:01:27 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Heck no, I ain't touching no tard, you should have blades and wolf stated him, established dominamce, than foed out of there.

I want to subscribe to your newsletter.

TRG

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:06:13 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
I would have done the exact same thing.

Yeah, and the parents have nothing to be ashamed of.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:15:49 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
Class is the ability to make others feel okay in unusual situations.

Ding, ding ding!!!!!
This is the best response yet!
Thank you, jcncc!!

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:20:26 AM EDT

[#36]

Of course we love kids and want to do the right thing. After almost a decade working with juvies in another life-I found you would be hard pressed to spend your time more effective than assisting kids.

Having said that, my supervisor at day one of my first after graduation and professional jobs told me this; NEVER find yourself alone with any of these kids.

And we also had a adult program too. (This was a substance abuse center) He also said to NEVER find yourself alone with a female.

Of course, I said gotcha and found out that was alot of responsibiltiy. Well, finding myself inadvertantly alone with kids and females happened alot and I could not get out that area quicker than a rattlesnake was after me. Now days I still work with kids at church and " the rule " is still there. I just do not need the accusation against me that something was amiss. In fact, it's so BIG an issue with church insurance carriers my wife and I can not run the nursery/young childrens programs togetheras a two person team. I team with another spouse and likewise. Crazy huh?

I walked one of my nine year old church kids out to her mother's car after services yesturday and felt paranoid-in the church parking lot with hundreds of folks around!

I'm in LE now and just the alegations would kill/ruin me...Bottom line is times have dramatically changed.

My neices are now starting college. I do not have tell you guys how "flirty" their friends can be. Whether on the pool deck/watching movies at the house/bbq's/or just stopping by with the neices etc. Scares the hell out of me.

I can tell you guys this one off the top;

Last summer, while mowing the property, I took a break to come to the house and grab a drink. I noted a bunch of vehicles at the house and recognized they were neices and alot of the gals they know. Long story short, the pool deck had wall to wall beautiful cheerleaders. Knowing I could easily make a mistake by being "nice," making comments about this and that; I turned the tractor around and went back to mowing...

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:20:55 AM EDT

[#37]

You know when I was coaching my youngest daughters soccer team I learned real fast to turn to the side right after one of the girls buried her face in my croch when she gave me a hug. Talk about embarrassing.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:31:33 AM EDT

[#38]

Good for you.

I had a mentally disabled teenager give me a hug at a Scout Camp recently. Totally out of the blue, I didn't know him, I just said, 'How ya been pal?'

Sometimes I think the 'retarded' people are really the only happy ones.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:34:54 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:

I would have done the exact same thing.

I would try to catch the eye of the parents and give a "is this ok?" shrug, but yeah, ya did good.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:38:25 AM EDT

[#40]

Nothing strange here...

Moving on.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:39:52 AM EDT

[#41]

Not all angels wear wings

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:41:56 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

I would have done the exact same thing.

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:45:21 AM EDT

[#43]

Works for me. I get hugs from the kids (kindergarten age) at my daughters school and day care all the time. Yet another reason convicted child pedo's need to be eliminated, a hug from a kid is enough to make the worst day get put in perspective, IMO YMMV...

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:54:03 AM EDT

[#44]

I guess YOU could tell right away............

that the kid didn't mean YOU ANY HARM?

Aloha, Mark

Posted: 1/31/2011 11:55:38 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Punch him in the face and draw down.

YOU WILL NOT HUG ME!!! YOU WILL NOT HUG ME!!!!!

this

and more llama

Unfortunately a lot of our fellow member fail at situational awareness. It's a known fact that gang bangers often disguise themselves as young handicap children. OP probably had his wallet stolen and didn't even know it.

No, but my phone was missing.

Found it the next day under my mom's computer desk. Apparently it fell out of my jacket pocket.

Posted: 1/31/2011 12:02:26 PM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:

Quoted:
As an attractive, fit, yet oddly single, male in his late 30's I stay the fuck away from other peoples children.

Soooo, if you were an ugly, fat, married 60-year-old you'd be doing what exactly with other peoples' kids?

I think I know what he is trying to say...sort of.
I was a Boy Scout, loved it, made Eagle, went to Philmont, all that great stuff...recently thought about getting back into it as an adult leader.
Except then I realized that it might look a little odd that a guy in his mid-20s, un-married, with no kids of his own in the troop wants to go camping in the woods with 11-17 year old boys.

Posted: 1/31/2011 12:12:44 PM EDT

[#47]

If the kid tries to hug you, you're alright as long as you're giving a normal, brief hug, not a creepy one. Besides...I'll bet that the kid does it regularly, and while embarrassed, the parents are probably grateful for someone being kind and understanding to their kid.

Posted: 2/2/2011 12:07:38 AM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:

Quoted:
you did the right thing.
my 10 year old daughter's friend s have been known to hug me when when excited or I've congratulated them on an accomplishment. My rule is to return the hug ( so they don't feel rejected) but to never initiate it.

Learn to blade for the side hug, unless you want a 13yo attaching herself to you tighter than a pair of latex shorts.

She'll do it the first time in front of her parents or an adult you dont know.

Then you'll be like

And her dad will be like

Trust me, I used to volunteer for the Jr. High Youth group at our church

some of you guys are wound a bit too tight. One of my closest friends (closer than a brother) has 3 adult daughters in their 20's. I've been around them since they ranged in age from 8-12 and was treated as a member of the family and an expected face at birthdays, graduations, etc and even picked them up from school activities if mom or dad was in a bind. They've all always hugged me and even kissed me on the cheek the same way they do their father. As adults they still do it if we run into each other in a bar or restaraunt. Oddly enough no one ever accused me of molesting a 15 year old and her father never tried to string me up.

His 8 and 10 year old have known me their entire lives (was at the hospital when the last one was delivered) and treat me like a parent. Should I be worried about them hugging me too?

Posted: 2/2/2011 12:30:05 AM EDT

[#49]

I've done the same thing but boy was 13. Lady that did my laundry's boy. Hugged me first time hugged me every time I dropped off laudry. I even took him 4-wheeling with the older kids..

He had mild case of down. Could still talk but just barley. He enjoyed the hell of riding a 4wheeler though. Like any kid,

Posted: 2/2/2011 12:52:54 AM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:

As an attractive, fit, yet oddly single, male in his late 30's I stay the fuck away from other peoples children.

That's why you are single. In your late 30s you are probably going to have to go after women with kids.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Hugging other people's children. What would you have done? (Page 2 of 3)

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