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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How'd you like your funeral to be? (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 3/13/2005 5:59:03 PM EDT

[#1]

The best possible non-burial would be my friends would kick my naked body out of the truck on the top of buffalo butte, a special place in the middle of nowhere Wyoming a toast from the flask of Famous Grouse would be ok. If things go right the coyotes, eagles, vultures and the flies and bugs get what's left. In a few years even my bones will have been eaten by the rodents. Of course, I am assuming my friends are still alive. My wife refuses to do this last thing for me I guess it would be a bit of a legal problem but that's what I want for my carcass.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:04:29 PM EDT

[#2]

1. All of my guns will be with me, w/ ammo.
2. Mummified
3. Encased in a liquid polymer (w/ my guns)
4. Placed ABOVE ground (outside of a flood plane)
5. All O2 pumped out and replaced with a Nobel gas, such as Neon
6. Titantium or Stainless Steel coffin welded shut

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:04:38 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
I remember a story i read online. Guy in england lieks to hunt. dies, gets cremated, and the remains are loaded in shotgun shells, along with normal shot.

Then a group of his friends and family took him on one last hunt.

They even had a list of all the game taken on that last hunt.

How bout you load me into match grade .308, and give it to brianksain...

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:08:28 PM EDT

[#4]

I dont want a funeral, just put me in the ground and be done with it.

Edited to add: I'm taking my guns with me.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:13:37 PM EDT

[#5]

Like any other old RETIRED cop's funeral. A few old guys sitting around in out of style suits and some young cops coming in paying respects to the family. Cremation, then the old and young guys sitting around over a few beers and telling stories. At least that's how I hope it will go. If it doesn't? Well, I guess I will not know the difference anyway! The key parts of it are OLD and RETIRED!

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:15:11 PM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:
1. All of my guns will be with me, w/ ammo.
2. Mummified
3. Encased in a liquid polymer (w/ my guns)
4. Placed ABOVE ground (outside of a flood plane)
5. All O2 pumped out and replaced with a Nobel gas, such as Neon
6. Titantium or Stainless Steel coffin welded shut

Why so selfish? Worms have to eat too, you know.

You could donate your body to that guy who plasticies bodies. There was recently an exhibition in L.A. of his work.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:15:32 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

+1

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:18:29 PM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:20:45 PM EDT

[#9]

Something simple.

CW

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:26:45 PM EDT

[#10]

I want to be buried here: www.cem.va.gov/nchp/ftcuster.htm

I've told every one of my family members this and I would be highly disappointed if I wasn't laid to rest at that locale.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:33:45 PM EDT

[#11]

By the time my funeral happens,
I will have been:

Stuffed, naked, in a freezer on a
metal table.

Sliced and diced by a medical
examiner, my organs cateloged
and wieghed.

My (precious) bodily fluids will
have been drained and replaced
with stuff they can't keep in
schools anymore because it
gives people cancer.

At the end of that process, I get
to have my "dignified" wishes
fulfilled. Hrmm. I would suppose
that you could have a midget
rape my corpse in the town
square and it would not be all that
much worse than what my poor
dead body had already endured.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:36:19 PM EDT

[#12]

I've a pre-arranged end. They pick up the body, cremate, and put it in box. They are not allowed to 'dispose' the remains in my state, so my executor will have to ditch it someplace.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:44:28 PM EDT

[#13]

You all should buy the book "Stiff" by Mary Roach. It belongs in this thread, and many of you might find it fascinating (and funny).

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0393324826/qid=1110772022/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/102-2080342-5025725?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:44:39 PM EDT

[#14]

Cremated, small ceremony for any family or friends that I may have left, then have my ashes scattered in the woods somewhere peaceful near a creek/river. Drunken party afterwards for the people who came to the ceremony. I would want there to be more laughter than tears during the whole thing.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:48:08 PM EDT

[#15]

I think I will be buried at sea with the SECs ashes.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:54:34 PM EDT

[#16]

I hope it's so far, far away in the distant future that I witness the extinction of our sun before I go out myself.

As such, it'll be in such a different time and frame of reference that attempting to explain the specifics
of it will make no sense to you...or to me, either, in my present state of mental development.

My job is not done while there is one thing left to learn and one thing left to witness.

CJ

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:57:42 PM EDT

[#17]

Before reading any other responses: short, sweet, and to the point (sorry if I shat on anyone's parade of uniqueness and exclusivity).

Followed by a gathering at a home bar.

ETA: Looks like xanadu beat me to the punch. Duly noted, xan.

Posted: 3/13/2005 6:59:20 PM EDT

[#18]

Just cremate me and do whatever with the ashes. I told my wife but she said she would not honor my wishes as she would rather bury me, put up a headstone, etc. No respect from her in life so why should I expect the same in death. She said she would even go against any will that I have drawn up. Whatever, I'll be dead anyway.

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:00:13 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
I want to be fired out a giant Jules Vernesque cannon !

If that's not possible, then I want my rotting corpse to be FedEx'd to someone I really don't like.

Love the cannon idea, Prof!

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:08:35 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I have thought out my funeral. I'm only 40 but I know exactly how I want it to be and I've told my family. No, I really have no thoughts of dying, I just have a strong desire to have my funeral the way I want it.

First - regardless of whether I'm hit by a buss tomorrow or die of old age when I'm 90 I do not want people to be sad at my funeral. I realize I have no control over that but I do not want saddening songs sung or mellow dramatic music, hymns or scriptures at my funeral. I would like my funeral to be a celebration of my life, not a mourning of my passing.

I already have my grave. My Grandmother bought it for me when I was 9 [room for the husband too!] it's in my family's cemetary where I have 9 generations of realitives buried there. It's close to where my Grandma is buried.

I want a simple pine box [I will come back and haunt someone if they spend 5K on a stupid casket!] and I do not want to be embalmed [sp?]. That's sick. It's suppose to be ashes to ashes, dust to dust so why pickle me for 100 years?

Lastly I don't want my family as poll barrers. I always felt so bad for my brothers when my Grandmother died. They were so sad [they had a choir singing Ava Maria in latin the entire time] and they had to carry this God awful casket [easily 5 grand] when all they wanted to do is be little boys who missed their grandmother and be hugged by their family. Take the money saved from the stupid casket and hire some strangers to carry me in. I don't weigh that much! Weather permitting a keg would be nice too.

Patty

Patty,

I think that's easily one of the most decent things I've heard/read in quite some time......... and this site has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to decent people.

Jake.

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:23:02 PM EDT

[#21]

Cremation, with my ashes scattered in the orchard or on the hill where I shoot groundhogs. Ask the NE Crew to fire a salute, then a big drunken party and every funny incident I was involved with recounted. Hell, the booze is on me, get drunk, get laid, shoot up a bunch of ammo, and give my guns to Lil Ops. Shake his hand, and tell him his dad was a good guy. (He'll know its bullshit, just say it to be nice.

Ops

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:35:25 PM EDT

[#22]

I plan on going out in STYLE !

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:43:52 PM EDT

[#23]

By the way, embalming as is done at a funeral home isn't the sort that keeps you from rotting.

Its only purpose is to delay the decay process so that the funeral can be minimally unpleasant.

Its effects are gone after about two weeks. Then the decay process goes back into high gear.

Embalming is just to keep the funeral from being a stinky one.

I worked in a funeral home for about a year. I know these things.

A local mausoleum that was recently constructed (at the time) proved to be poorly built
for the job. Vaults cracked, ventilation was poor, and the fumes in the place that leaked from
all the bodies in the caskets were appalling. The fumes would burn your sinuses and eyes
almost as bad as high concentrations of formaldehyde.

It was NOT fun to even walk in there for a few seconds. Anybody who went in there would have
to go outside for fresh air in just a minute or two. It was really that badl.

I gather they eventually fixed the problems, but it got pretty nasty doing it.

There were some visible examples of "coffin gravy" dripping down the walls in a few spots, too.

CJ

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:54:41 PM EDT

[#24]

Just hose me off of the guardrail.

Posted: 3/13/2005 7:59:27 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
All I want is a viking 's funeral.

im doing a modified viking funeral.
since a real viking funeral is impossible to do, i am having my body cremated, placed in a toy wooden boat, and lit on fire as im floated out onto the Irish Sea off the coast near Wexford.

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:10:05 PM EDT

[#26]

my funeral should be falling alone on the field of battle with my enemies cities burning in the background...

nah really freeze me and bring me back in a millenia or so

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:13:10 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
I plan on going out in STYLE !

Is that a joke?!?

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:14:13 PM EDT

[#28]

I got a feeling that for all big talk is just that – and most of us are going to be put into a metal box, like it or not.

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:16:02 PM EDT

[#29]

Already in my living will that my excess assets will provide for the following:

Viking funeral.. (already cleared with NJ DEP and Fish and Game!)
Will cover the expense of building the boat and burning it an appropriate distance from shore..

A crew of bagpipers

A beach party/ Clam bake style wake with non-stop Buffet and Marley, volleyball nets and the Coors Light girls to keep the mood up.....

Basically my survivors will have a beach bash for all time to remember me by.
Pig roast, beer truck, bonfire, etc.

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:17:41 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
I remember a story i read online. Guy in england lieks to hunt. dies, gets cremated, and the remains are loaded in shotgun shells, along with normal shot.

Then a group of his friends and family took him on one last hunt.

They even had a list of all the game taken on that last hunt.

I like that...

Shouldn't have given me that idea!!!

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:22:04 PM EDT

[#31]

I would like to be given a proper Catholic burial. I would like someone to play the bagpipes at the burial if at all possible. After that, I would like my family and friends to head to a hall of some sort and have a Celebration of Life, look at lots of pics of me and stuff, and get absolutely destroyed. That would make me very happy.

It won't be that bad when I go; I'll see them all again eventually.

Posted: 3/13/2005 8:57:39 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Already in my living will that my excess assets will provide for the following:

Viking funeral.. (already cleared with NJ DEP and Fish and Game!)
Will cover the expense of building the boat and burning it an appropriate distance from shore..

A crew of bagpipers

A beach party/ Clam bake style wake with non-stop Buffet and Marley, volleyball nets and the Coors Light girls to keep the mood up.....

Basically my survivors will have a beach bash for all time to remember me by.
Pig roast, beer truck, bonfire, etc.

SciFiNut:

If you'd like to invite someone to keep the mood lively (and who absolutely *loves* Buffet, Marley, and beach bashes), keep me in mind.

Jake.

----------------------------------

"You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance."

Posted: 3/13/2005 9:00:41 PM EDT

[#33]

Id like mine postponed for a few hundred years.

Posted: 3/13/2005 9:17:55 PM EDT

[#34]

Grind me into cat food.

Posted: 3/13/2005 9:35:40 PM EDT

[#35]

I wish to be sealed in carbonite.

That, or laid to rest on a couple hundred pounds of prell, toss a few bags on top of me, light a fuse and run like hell!

Posted: 3/13/2005 9:47:28 PM EDT

[#36]

I figure I'll only be dead for a few minutes before I come back as a zombie, so it doesn't really matter.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How'd you like your funeral to be? (Page 2 of 2)

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