So your wife's name is Mona? Whats that? Her nickname..cuz everytime you come home from work she [b]moans[/b] ooooooooo, crap, he's home. Clap, clap, clap...

Of course being from the great state of Alabama probably means she's your first cousin, huh?

I bet ya'lls first date was probably dinner at the Kentucky fried chicken, desert was an RC cola and a Moon pie? Then you "made out" behind an outhouse...

Do you make her pressure wash the trailer? Or is it just too rusted to even care about anymore? Yep, those southern gentlemen.

Alabama..where having all your teeth is a status symbol.[ROFL2]

Beerslayer? What an original name...where'd you steal it? Did it come off a T shirt from one of Bill Dance's t.v. show guest? [ROFL]

Alabama..two things that never die. Bad hygiene and Bear Bryant paraphonalia.

And oh Mona..please tell us what kind of lover BS is? I bet your lingerie consists of farm animal costumes?? [moon]

Disclaimer: I would never flame anyone for nothing...I apologize to Mona for being ornery and ugly. Your crazy husband ask for it...[:D] I am sorry...don't know what got into me.

One more thing BS..Mona told us when ya'll got married...you're "little black book" consisted of names & numbers of your 2 sisters and Aunt??? [nana]

Wow...I feel better now. Kinda therapeutic!

[b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b]

I was going to try, but for some reason, good flames are escaping me.  All I can come up with is.....

Beerslayer: My first cousin is ME!

Come on!

10 hours has gone by and you havent asked me for my mailing address to mail me my Flame Award![:D}
j/k

So when are ya going to decide who won!!??

[b]HOLY SHIT...MY EYES!!!  [shock]  The pain...I can't take it!  OMG!  "What the HELL is THAT...PVT PYLE!!!"[/b]

[puke]

Your a closet Liberal

Your a closet DemocRAT

Your so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece

If my dog was as ugly as you i'd shave its but and make it walk backwards

On a less extreme note...maybe we sould just reprise McUzi's [in]famous rant to Garandman?  I mean...in the annals (Or is it anals?) of flaming, has anyone ever come close to that incredible piece of flame history?
[;D]

Beer_Slayer,

You keep good company with the other witless simpletons in this thread. As their champion, you shine forth as the expounder of puerile intellect. Their failure to demonstrate any original, linguistic warring capability is only highlighted by your own grunting attempt to string together an elementary thought. My feet are wet from the spittle flowing over your bulbous, lower lip. I can sense your frustrations as you attempt to squeeze a thought out of the two cells huddling together for warmth within your vacuous cranium. It must be a lonely existance being the stand-in for the IceMan.

In all fairness, I should probably slow down and provide you with the opportunity to consult a dictionary - but, you don't own one. You wouldn't know how to begin finding one; and, even if you accidently found yourself standing in a library, your illiterate brain stem wouldn't permit you to perform higher cranial functions. You are the Patron Saint of the Developmentally Disabled.

With all the law enforcement officers frequenting this site, Mona should be aware that sexual relations with a wilderbeast constitutes a criminal act in most jurisdictions. I am torn between casting pity on the poor girl, or being completely repulsed with the thought of her crawling under the quilt every night with a human-shaped pile of bovine excrement.

I can keep going....

My entry:

"You are more repulsive than the lowest, most putrescent pool guy ever born."



BTW MarionLibrarian - "In fact, you probably find the oily, foul smelling, brown exudate that leaks from a dog's anal glands a most agreeable seasoning for your, no doubt, lard and government cheese infested meals."

That is possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever read.  I need the emergency eye wash station now... thanks a bunch...

A little less "teething", next time you're down there, biotch......

And I have absolutely no use for that virus infected POS yer givin away.

To Flame TheBeerSlayer:

By M***i

You back woods, tobacco chewing, cousin screwing, pickup truck driving, one-toothed banjo playing, yee-haw, inbred @#%$ from the backwoods of Sweet Home Alabama.
Sure. I'll flame you, but given your Alabama upbringing, I seriously doubt you'll be able to read it.
Where can one even begin?
Your states native motto is "body odor", and your peoples native Alabama language is sounds as though a 30 year old Ebonics major with gum disease was trying to say the alphabet with a mouth full of marbles.
What a disgusting rodent you are. If I could have just one wish, it would be for you do die miserably.
No, I take that back.
I wish you will live forever- in Alabama. For that alone is worse than any death that can befall you.
And when death comes, may it come slowly- and you have to go out slowly, in a hospital in ALABAMA. While listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd play non-stop...through an enema mounted speaker crammed in your anal cavity.
May everything in your life be ass backward and useless as the state which crapped you out on to society at large.
Eat @#%$ and die.

Sincerely,
M***i




I'm just the messenger Beerslayer...[peep]
M***i just wanted to help out.[:D]


[b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b]

The_Beer_Slayer:

You want a flame so that you can give away some pissant USB drive.  Fine, you cheap, ignorant, gap-toothed, impotent bastard.  I'll give you a fucking flame.

Your posts are so fucking stupid that every time I run across one, merely seeing your name and your lame-ass sig pic beside it causes me to lose a couple brain cells.  Because of you alone, I'm down to an IQ 170.  You have the intelligence capacity of a wine cork.  Your every word is like a little slice of stupid in electronic form broadcast across my screen.

Every time your webbed fingers type another word on your keyboard, the entire fucking internet screams in agony.  I can hear it.  So can everyone else.  If you weren't a monkey with cerebral palsy, you would too.  Your "wisdom" is mind-numbing.  Strike that.  Your "wisdom" is mind-[b]dumbing[/b].  The whole of Alabama's, nay, the South's, combined intellectual prowess is not enough to overcome your retardation.  If you simply moved to another state, the stigma of Alabama would be removed!

I pity your wife.  Besides having to live with you, she is also assigned the dubious tasks of keeping sharp implements like knives, scissors, and screwdrivers away from you because her mind has been so addled by your incessant babbling that she actually cares for you!  Not only that, but she has to deal with your disgusting fetishes of diapers and spanking.

I've never met you, but I'm assuming that you are ugly.  Not just ugly, but fucking ugly - fugly, for short.  You are morbidly obese.  Your fat rolls hide such things as the TV remote, loose change, Freightliner trucks, and small civilizations.  You put Rosie O'Donnell to shame in a donut-eating contest.  Your teeth are worse than the average Brit's, and your body odor belies your simian upbringing.  Your breath smells of shit - doubtless due to your aforementioned dullard wits spewing forth like veritable fountain from your cavernous cranium.  Your eyes are close together, drawing attention away from your hideous hare lip.  Thank god your mother drank whiskey while pregnant with you, for if not for your cleft palate, we'd actually be able to understand the mindless blatherings of the moron you are.

Lord fucking knows why you still exist on this planet.  One would think that Darwinism would dictate that a fucktard like you would have been bred out of existence.  One must therefore assume that your ape-like forebears were protected by either A) a moron equal to that of yourself, B) the World Wildlife Federation, or C) someone who had the intent of playing a really cruel joke on the rest of mankind.  You are proof against the Biblical view of creation - why the hell would God create such a monstrously disfigured, wretched lifeform?  It simply [b]MUST[/b] be evolution gone horribly awry!

Your very existence must be a joke on us all, a karmic punishment for misdeeds in our past.

Were you to find yourself on fire, I would not piss on you.  No, I'd rather not piss at all.  I'd rather my fucking bladder stretch itself to the limits, even rupture, than let loose a drop of urine that might quench the flames.  Should I find you and your piece of shit car broken down along the side of the road, I would not stop to help, nor would I call for help.  But I'd do better than simply drive past you.  I would make it my purpose to plow right into you with the intent of crushing you to death, [b]so help me God[/b].  If I saw you at a bar, I simply would not leave to go to another one.  I'd tie you to the bar, douse you in liquor and set you aflame first - [b]THEN[/b] I'd go to another bar.

Tell you what - next time you go shooting, let me know.  I'll make a special hand-load for you.  It'll (hopefully) knock your block off, you worthless, driveling bag of horse semen.

Fuck you.

P.S.:  Your homebrew tastes like turpentine!

[flame]

Woohoo!

IM coming your way!

Bravo. Excellent work reject. I concur with the judge.

There's nothing better than moderator approval for a flame.  [:D]

Thanks, BenDover...

I agree, Reject.  That was INSPIRATIONAL!

I am reminded of an uncensored Don Rickles in his prime, updated to 21st century (lack of) morals, and with a smaller than average dose of humor and a larger dose of genuine malice.

Truly excellent.

[beer]

CJ

There once was a man named the_beer_slayer
who's dick was so small he couldn't play'r
so he found a saggy whore
who might suck it more
but couldn't find his prick in his hair.

Don Rickles can't hold a candle to me.  I'm a decently educated horribly evil demented bastard.  [:D]

[beer]