Dungus, you tread treacherous waters.  Calm down and listen to the excellent counsel that Paul and the others have given.

Excellent counsel ? From who ? The chicken shit who hides behind a gun and brags about killing people for a living ?

Paul, on the one hand says I am a pussy because I didn't deal with the owners face to face     (which I was trying to do) and then says he would shoot anyone that tresspassed on his property. Where I live, pulling a gun on a tresspasser is a felony and shooting him is considered murder.

Just because you own a gun ? Doesn't mean you get to pull it on every mailman, neighbor, solicitor that happens to knock on your front door. In my neck of the woods, men who pull guns on unarmed men ? Are considered pussies. Mister "I kill men for a living" would be getting buttfucked by inmates named Bubba in short order.

I'm tempted to take Bulldozer's advice, run the fuckers over and then mail them to Velveeta.

Oh yea, Paul. It's only a matter of time before you fuck up and pull your gun on the wrong person. Then you'll be taken to jail, where you will be forced to deal with men who have no guns to hide behind. What will you do then Paul ? Become someone's bitch ?

I'd love to see your face when forced to deal with a man on equal terms. Pussies like you fall flat in short order.

Dungus [:K], does your continued participation in this continued [flame] flame war [flame] mean that you give consent to being parodied mercilessly? Parody has been stated time and again by the Supreme Court to not require consent, but I've always believed in being courteous to my subjects.

Though it will be difficult to make you look more foolish than you have on your own, I'll be happy to give it a try. Please sign here.


"I, _______________, give consent to the AR15 Forum to ridicule me mercilessly until the end of time or I go away and reappear in a few days under a new name."

YAWN

But “men” who beat up women, children and dogs are considered brave I guess.  [rolleyes]


Don’t go getting all jealous.  

Cool.  Make sure you are in a big car though.  I don’t want you to get scared.

-Velveeta

You seem very concerned with men and prisons.  You know there are probably porn sites that cater to “men” like you.

LMFAO! Hahahahahahahaha!  You just try to deal with dogs on equal terms and then work your way up little boy.


-Velveeta

this has been a great flame-fest, thanks guys!

but seriously Dungus, you have to, repeat: HAVE TO contact the owners first! that's the first question the judge is gonna ask you when you're brought up on doggy-murder charges.

it sounds like you're angry as hell, and not gonna take it anymore. don't let emotions get you into jail. after you contact the owners (note on door, answering machine message, etc.) wait and see if they do anything about it. if they don't, record the barking, and play it out of your car stereo, in front of their house, at 2:00 am when you get home. lock the doors, put in your shooting plugs and go home to sleep! this will evoke 1 of 2 possible responses; they will get the hint and act, or they will vandalize your car, which puts their balls into YOUR hands!

if that doesn't work, go to: [url]www.shomertec.com[/url] and buy their "dog repelling" device ~ its legal, and it sends an ultra-sonic sound out which pierces the dog's ears, sending them crying home to mama.

good luck man, and don't do anything dumb, that'll put you into jeapardy!!!

Dear Dungus,

Why, oh why did you ask for advice on this board if you never wanted it?

Regards,

Satcong

Well since it appears you live at The Vatican, your neighbor is obviously the pope.  If he can't take care of things in his nest, by all means go mid-evil on his ass.

I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

Now what you hear is not a test--i'm rappin to the beat
and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
see i am wonder Mike and i like to say hello
to the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
but first i gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie
say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie
let's rock, you dont stop
rock the riddle that will make your body rock
Well so far youve heard my voice but i brought two friends along
and next on the Mike is my man Hank
come on, Hank, sing that song

Check it out, i'm the c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a
and the rest is f-l-y
ya see i go by the code of the doctor of the mix
and these reasons i'll tell ya why
ya see i'm six foot one and i'm tons of fun
and i dress to a t
ya see i got more clothes than muhammad ali and i dress so viciously
i got bodyguards, i got two big cars
that definitely aint the wack
i got a lincoln continental and a sunroof cadillac
so after school, i take a dip in the pool
which really is on the wall
i got a color tv so i can see
the knicks play basketball
hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards
more money than a sucker could ever spend
but i wouldnt give a sucker or a bum from the rucker
not a dime til i made it again
everybody go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today (say what)
ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some spankin
drive off in a def oj
everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn
say if your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend
master gee, am I mellow
its on you so what you gonna do

Well it's on n on n on on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
i said m-a-s, t-e-r, a g with a double e
i said i go by the unforgettable name
of the man they call the master gee
well, my name is known all over the world
by all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls
i'm goin down in history
as the baddest rapper there could ever be
now i'm feelin the highs and ya feelin the lows
the beat starts gettin into your toes
ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
and movin your body while youre sittin in your seat
and the damn ya start doin the freak
i said damn, right outta your seat
then ya throw your hands high in the air
ya rockin to the rhythm, shake your derriere
ya rockin to the beat without a care
with the sureshot m.c.s for the affair
now, im not as tall as the rest of the gang
but i rap to the beat just the same
i dot a little face and a pair of brown eyes
all i'm here to do ladies is hypnotize
singin on n n on n on n on
the beat dont stop until the break of dawn
singin on n n on n on on n on
like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie
pop da pop pop ya dont dare stop
come alive yall gimme what ya got
i guess by now you can take a hunch
and find that i am the baby of the bunch
'but that's okay i still keep in stride
cause all i'm here to do is just wiggle your behind

When I was younger (<18) and lived with my parents, the neighbors had two dogs, one who'd never shut up and one who'd just bite you.  Both were fairly large.  They were (mostly) fenced.  One day I'm out trimming the rose bushes as part of punishment for something I did (frequent).  The loud doug is barking like mad on the other side of the fence.  Eve notice that the lower on the rose bush the more thorns there are?  Yeah.  So, taking a low piece about 2" long I peeked over the fence.  Dog came running up, started barking.  I drop the rose branch, and the dog stopped barking in about two seconds.  He didn't bark at me ever again, although he did bark at others.  (Yes, I felt bad about this later, and the dog wasn't injured seriously or for very long)
Nowadays, I'd encourage the owners to provide greater care for their pet, or to get one of the killbarkingdog doohickeys.  

I suggest you research the law a little bit before you take this approach.  You can not legally shoot someone just because they resist arrest, even if the arrest is lawful.  Also, pointing a shotgun at someone for tresspassing is not a good idea.  You need to be in fear of death or serious bodily injury to use or threaten deadly force.  Protecting your back yard or your dog will not cut it.  If Dungus were sneaking into your house, that would be a different story.

Not trying to flame, I would just hate to see someone make a mistake like that.

Imposter:

That's not true in all states.  Some state codes allow the use of deadly force to protect one's property under certain conditions.

SAB

Imposter- Don't mess with Texas!  You're likely to get shot.

velveta and i seem to have our disagreements, but i am in full agree ment with him here.



take a chill pill..

I can sympathize with Dungus a little, at least to the point of him being seriously frustrated. My best friend lived next to the yapiest dog in the free world. Normally he’s a good guy but he’s told me about loosing it and using his sling shot against the animal. When he told me about this incident I advised him not to blame the dog. Dogs will do what dogs are supposed to do. Dogs bark to warn their pack about impending danger. A dogs pack can, and usually does, consist of its owners and any other dogs within hearing distance. If you yell at a dog that’s barking or throw something at him, his suspicions will be confirmed; there is danger in the area.  I’ve had to train dogs that bark incessantly before, the best thing to do is to is socialize them – so they will get used to the people or other animals in their environment. Or upon failing to reason with the dog (socialization,) introduce him to some negative reinforcement tricks; Anti-bark collars, super-soakers and the like.

Unfortunately this isn’t up to you but the owners. You need to talk to them. But before I took it out on the dogs I’d take it out on that SUV of theirs. Ultimately it’s the owners that have to be taught what THEY are doing is unacceptable. The dogs will just keep being dogs (not to say they cant be trained.)

The best thing to do, if you could ever do it, would be to get the owners to wear one of the collars. Every time the dog barks the owner gets a small shock. I’d bet the dogs would learn to stop rather quickly.

I know where your coming from but don’t kill the critters.

[b]THE SUBTLE ART OF TROLLING[/b]


Construct your troll in a manner to make it readable. Use short paragraphs and lots of white space. Keep line length below eighty characters. Use a liberal amount of emphasis and even the occasional illustration. A good rule of thumb is that as your troll becomes more and more ludicrous put extra effort into the presentation - this keeps the mug punter confused. Let confusion and chaos be your goal!

Make your subject a relevant one.

You do not have to make the subject clear. Trolls are aimed at two audiences, the respondees and the lurkers. The best trolls reveal their true subject only to the lurkers. In every sense those who reply to your troll are your tools. So choose a theme for your troll and stick to it.

Outwardly you need to appear sincere, but at the same time you have to tell your *real* audience that this is blatant flamebait. Your skill is shown in the easy way that you manipulate large areas of the Usenet community into making public fools of themselves.

Choice of newsgroup is as important as the subject, tone and structure of the troll. You want to appeal to each group you X-post into to ensure responses from each group. A well delivered troll will anticipate what those responses will be and thus ensure that contradictions will arise amongst the different groups that you are setting up.


BAD:
Posting "USA Sucks" to alt.nuke.the.USA, alt.usa-sucks, aus.flame.usa

This is totally on-topic and obvious. A truly useless troll.

AVERAGE:
Posting "God Doesn't Exist" to all the alt.religion newsgroups


Here you are being too obvious. People recognise this sort of trouble making and have usually learned not to respond to it. However, if your troll is well written you can actually entrap a lot of newbies. This, if executed correctly, can be exploited to cause great offence to those more experienced troll avoiders on the groups you are attacking. Go for it!

GOOD:

Posting an article that appears relevant to every group but with no connection between those groups other than the fact that you've just trolled them.
The best trolls go out to an average of around eight or nine newsgroups. This will stop them from becoming spam as it's not quite enough to be a real problem. However, to get by on so few groups you have to include a couple of popular ones in the list.

When posting to say seven groups you should try to break down your theme into seven areas - each of which will be of specific interest to just one of those groups. You then write an eight paragraph troll with a paragraph for each group and a spare one for yourself with which to lob in a gratuitous insult to everyone who was dumb enough to read your troll.

Know Your Audience
Remember that you have two audiences. The people who are going to get the maximum enjoyment out of your post are other trollers. You need to keep in contact with them through both your troll itself and the way you direct its effect. It is trollers that you are trying to entertain so be creative - trollers don't just want a laugh from you they want to see good trolls so that they can also learn how to improve their own in the never ending search for the perfect troll.

The other audience is of course the little people in those newsgroups that your are attacking. Get to know them. Every newsgroup has its smartarse who will expose your troll if given half a chance. Research your targets and learn what their arguments are. Then avoid those argu- ments like the plague. Drag them off-topic - the further off-topic the better. Remember, you are trying to waste their time. Never take sides - remember that your goal is not to win an argument, rather it is to provoke a futile one that runs forever.

If, for example you were attacking Fast Food then you should also X-post to Healthy Eating groups, Environmental Protection Groups, Animal Rights Groups etc....You want to try to ensure that you have the broadest possible range of opinions as this is the easiest way to sow confusion. The more confusion the less the likelihood of your troll being exposed for what it is.

It can also be shown that the inclusion of just one totally off-topic newsgroup can have dramatic effects. The list above is taken from a genuine troll which also included an Artificial Intelligence group, the result of which was to draw Computer Guru Professor Marvin Minsky into a flamewar concerning Ronald McDonald's exploitation of the disabled - an all-time classic piece of trolling
"Even if this is true......"

That represents the perfect response to any troll. The mark of a gullible lunatic that will almost certainly believe anything you tell her (women always make the best trollees as they have a logical reasoning capacity of zilch). A total group embarrassment. Award yourself a Troll Gold Star every time you get one!

Other good responses include, but are not limited to....

"Although this is on-topic....."
"I disagree...."
"Yes, but....."
"Can you provide a source for this...."


Try not to follow-up to your own troll. The troll itself quickly becomes forgotten in the chaos and if you just sit back you can avoid being blamed for causing it. Remember, if you do follow up you are talking to an idiot. Treat them with the ill-respect they deserve.

You should also learn to recognise follow-ups from your fellow trollers. Sometimes an average troll can be elevated into majestic proportions when several trollers spontaneously join forces via the medium of the follow up troll.

Ignore cries of wasted bandwidth! This is pure drivel that will always be posted by the anti-troll lobby. These jerks fail to understand that trolls are the best way to drive people off the internet thus making available multi-mbs for the rest of us to download our porn.


The Successful Troll
A good example of troll success is the famous "Oh How I Envy American Students" troll. This troll was written by an English brick-layer posing as an american student. He correctly posted it to all the college news- groups and then left american students to do all the work spreading it.

that was entertaining.

No flame, but I just gotta mention something that just seems weird to me.

What's with people claiming that there's more bad asses per capita in Texas then in other state? I've spent a lot of time in Texas, as well as in many other states. Yeah, Texas isn't bad, but jesus, it ain't exactly what I'd call uptopia, and certainly they have no monopoly on ass-kickin' types either.

I have no problem with Texas, it's got a lot of up side to it thats for sure, but just never got why all the hysteria any time anyone doesn't "honor" Texas as the bad ass capitol of the world.

Texas, big state, lot's of good people & lots of morons like any other state. Lot's of cool places to go, lots of barron lifeless areas as well. It's not that I don't think people should be proud of where they're from, but after a point it just starts sounding rediculous.

I will say this....some of the finest women I've ever seen were in Texas, which is not a bad thing at all. Then again, certainly no more so then in FL. Amazing women all over the place, at least in South Florida.

Anyone care to [i]rationally[/i]  explain the Texas thing to me? Enlighten me, I'd love to know what the big deal is.

Gee, if people had just cats for pets instead of dogs, what a wonderful place this world would be!!!!!

This all hinges on Texas cats and dogs, and the best damn Chili.  Not to mention the fact that M4 is correct about those nice ladies[:I] in the fine state of Texas.


I would say more but Mrs Satcong may be monitoring my activity from work. [}:(][xx(]

untill they all wnt into heat. then there would be a lot of shootin goin on.

FlagWaver is giving out all the secrets.

[size=6]Dugass is a troll[/size=6]

[img]http://ew2.lysator.liu.se/loth/s/h/shawn/trolll.jpg[/img]

I guess you just don't understand how to act in a mature and adult manner do you?  You continue to post the dumbest comments over and over.  Really just stop posting now and save what little respect you have left.

FIRE MISSION--AIR STRIKE ON TROLL

Courtesy Mike R, Stan Homiski [url]http://www.soft.net.uk/entrinet/[/url]
==========================================
6 to 65 notify Saber of our situation and location request artillery support out

Saber 33 this is Saber Bravo 65 Flash, Saber Bravo in contact from Papa Oscar Tango left 3 up 6 strength unknown request nearest Foxtrot Sierra Bravo over

Saber Bravo 65, Saber 33 I read back Flash from Papa Oscar Tango left 3 up 6 strength unknown, request nearest Foxtrot Sierra Bravo over  

Saber 33, Saber Bravo 65 roger over

Saber Bravo 65, Saber 33 contact Foxtrot Sierra Bravo Glass, on Golden Dragon's push, callsign Golden Dragon 36 out

Golden Dragon 36 this is Saber Bravo 65 your push over

Saber Bravo 65, Golden Dragon 36 over

Golden Dragon 36, Saber Bravo 65, request fire mission from Papa Oscar Tango left 3 up 6 over



Saber Bravo 65, Golden Dragon 36, from Papa Oscar Tango left 3 up 6 marker round on the way over  

Golden Dragon 36, Saber Bravo 65 left 50 up 100 over

Saber Bravo 65, Golden Dragon 36 left 50, up 100, marker on the way over  

Golden Dragon 36, Saber Bravo 65 on the mark fire for effect out  





==========================================
6 to 65 notify Squadron of our situation and location out  

Saber 33 Saber 33 this is Saber Bravo 65 Saber Bravo 65 Flash over

Saber Bravo 65 this is Saber 33 go with Flash over


Saber 33, Saber Bravo 65 Saber Bravo in contact from Papa Oscar Kilo left 5 up 4 estimate [b]TROLL Company[/b], receiving RPG and Sierra Alpha over

Saber Bravo 65, Saber 33 I read back from Papa Oscar Kilo left 5 up 4 estimate [b]TROLL[/b] Company, receiving RPG and Sierra Alpha, Bravo Delta 2 up on your push 05 out

Saber Bravo 65, Bravo Delta 2 request you mark location with smoke over

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 smoke out over

Saber Bravo 65, Bravo Delta 2 I verify yellow smoke over

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 roger over

Saber Bravo 65, Bravo Delta 2 I have a pair of Foxtrot 4's with 750's, Nape and 20 Mike Mike on station in 10 be prepared to mark positions over

65 to 6 be advised that Bravo Delta 2 has pair Foxtrot 4's with 750's, Nape and 20 Mike Mike in 10 require position mark over

6 to 65 roger out


Saber Bravo 65,Bravo Delta 2 mark position with smoke over

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 standby out

65 to 6 mark position with smoke over

6 to 65 smoke popped out

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 smoke out over

Saber Bravo 65, Bravo Delta 2 I have red smoke over

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 roger over


Saber Bravo 65, Bravo Delta 2 button up as strike will be within 100 meters, Foxtrot 4's will work trench line with 20 Mike Mike followed by 750's and Nape over

Bravo Delta 2, Saber Bravo 65 roger out

65 to 6 button up strike within 100, 4's on trench line with 20 Mike Mike then 750's and Nape out

satcong - do you know how long it's been since I've heard or called a fire mission?  Good memories, sometimes...

I also grabbed that troll pic for wallpaper - really cool.  Do that one yourself?

As far as the original problem, I've been thru this a couple of times...

Stage One - Approach the owner.  If it's a first meet, then be decent and introduce myself.  Don't complain first time meeting - it's worth waiting a couple of days after that.  Of course, you CAN lay some groundwork on your first meeting ("yeah, I work graves, and I like this neighbourhood because it's _usually_ so quiet during the day and I can get some sleep...")  I have found "guilt seeds" helpful with most intelligent people, and this has solved the problem a couple of times.

Stage Two - Dog still yapping away, neighbour didn't take hint.  Seconde meeting - "Yeah, sorry to bug you, but did you know your dog is yapping away all day?  Normally I wouldn't mind, but like I said, I work graves, and...."  Rarely have I had to go past Stage Two.

Stage Three - "Hey, I've lived most of my life around dogs.  Mind if I help you keep yours quiet?  I have found a few things that work, and maybe he's just paranoid or something.  Besides, there may be something setting him off, and you are at work when it happens..."

Stage Four - Training didn't help, or neighbour is uncooperative.  I get the paintball gun and the syringes.  Draw the paint, refill with plain water.  Makes a nice sting and welt, leaves almost NO mark!  Stage Four is rarely necessaary past two days' diligent execution...  Make sure to draw the paint and do the water fill, it helps keep evidence minimised (and the paintball is less liekly to damage the critter than a BB...)

Of course, if your local Animal Control or Noise Abatement departments are more cooperative than most I have had to deal with, you can get them involved as well.  You'd be surprised how much an official paper trail can help sometimes...

Above all - NO TRESPASSING and NO INJURIES.  If you have to "doctor" a steak, make sure you cook the blood out of it and use a mild sedative - nothing stronger!  If the dog sleeps, you can sleep.  Put him out for a few hours and you'll BOTH feel better...

FFZ

[b]"I guess you just don't understand how to act in a mature and adult manner do you?"[/b]

Mature [i]AND[/i] adult ? I guess you just don't undertsand how to write something worthwhile.

[b]"You continue to post the dumbest comments over and over."[/b]

Really ? You should read your first sentence.  

[b]"Really just stop posting now and save what little respect you have left."[/b]

Your just another dousche bag looking to jump on a thread and show off for his internet geek friends. Did you raise your status JLB ? Dipshit.

Heeerrrrrrrrrreeee'sssssssss Dungas!  He's back.

That me ! What's up fuck face ?