I recommend a Highland Claymore.
It's one thing to break bones with a mace, it's another to cut right through them.  Remember, they can't chase you if their limbs are removed.  

You know what, you don't have to take your clothes off and paint yourself blue to use one.

Getting drunk might not help, but it is a lot of fun when fighting zombies.  

Katanas are good too, along with European long/bastard/hand and a half swords.  Lots of potential for zombie carnage.  I like those Zweihanders too.  Lots o' zombie parts a rainin'.

Hey mk_ultra,
What's with this clown thing.  There was a descent thread about just how evil and dangerous they are.  Worse than zombies.

F***ing clowns and zombies, now I'm gonna have nightmares.

Bilster

Make the bad images go away!!! I dunno what's worse, f***ing clowns and zombies or clowns and zombies f***ing. Imagine the offspring, some sort of perverted clown/zombie hybrid (clombie?). Kill them all, now, before they  breed to plague proportions!

Clown thing is from The Simpsons....when Homer builds Bart a clown shaped bed....


I hate clowns and have insomnia....



t

If I understand correctly the samurai used to test the sharpness of their blade by laying a few criminals over a dirt mound, one on top of another, and attempted to slice through as many bodies as possible. I've heard of the blade going through almost five people at a time. And they  chopped the hell out of bamboo stalkes.
As for those damn clowns. I've hated those damn things ever since I seen Steven King's "The it". Now that I mention it I hate spiders to.

Yes, this was done, but it was reasonably rare. When it was done the results of the test cutting were usually engraved onto the tang (the part of the blade the grip is wrapped around). If it was commonplace, there would be many surviving antique katana with such results engraved on them. Such test cutting results are actually very rare among surviving antique katana, and the blades that do have them were usually made by the most highly respected smiths of their time (or forgeries by lower grade smiths trying to sell their blades for more than they were really worth by signing them with the names of more highly respected smiths and false cutting results).

During times of civil war, such as the Gempei wars of the 1400's or the war between the Tokugawas and Toyotomis at the start of the 1600's (where Eiyasu Tokugawa founded the last great Shogun dynasty), the demand for swords severely oustripped the supply of bodies acceptable for test cutting, and the majority of swords were made for the lower grades of Samurai (not worth testing, these were budget swords), known as Ashigaru. Commoners could become Samurai by enlisting as Ashigaru, rather than being born in an established Samurai family. Some commoners who became Ashigaru went on to rise through the ranks and become respected Samurai generals.

A more common cutting test, called tameshigiri, involves a rolled up mat woven from straw stalks, or the straw mat wrapped around a piece of bamboo to simulate bone. The bundle could be soaked in water for a day or two so that the straw matting would be a better simulation of flesh.

There are still tameshigiri competitions being held today where contestants are judged on their cutting technique, how clean their cuts are and how many bundles they can cut through with a single cut. There are also companies selling premade tameshigiri cutting targets for personal practice. Some of the people making replica but fully functional european style swords have started testing with tameshigiri targets as part of their product development plan.

Also, the sword was not the principal weapon of either the ashigaru/samurai or the european soldiers. The primary weapons were missile weapons such as bow/crossbows and early forms of guns, or hand held pole weapons like spears (yari), pikes, halberds and glaives (naginata) used in massed formations. Swords were more commonly a backup weapon on the battlefield rather than the primary weapon. The English archers at Agincourt used large wooden hammers called mauls when they put down their bows and engaged the French hand to hand, not swords.

Swords have been much more highly romanticised because they were more commonly used as a symbol compared to other types of weapons. A sword used in a cerimony symbolises the earthly power of someone involved in that cerimony. Why do we still have swords as part of the full dress uniform for modern military officers? It's a symbol of their authority.

Let's see how long you can swing a sword while beinng swarmed by 20 zombies.

As part of my continuing efforts at helping people out, I am submitting this:

[url=https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400049628?tag=arfcom00-20]The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead[/url]

Imbrog, the real keys are timing and positioning. Sure, you could hunker down somewhere with your back to a secure wall, but it means when the zombies arrive, the only way out is through them. Setting up a position where they'll corner you is like hanging a sign around your neck saying "Please eat my brain". You need to stay away from dead ends and always have an escape route that doesn't require fighting through the main group of zombies. It may look very macho, but what's more important, looking macho for 5 minutes and ending up with your brain eaten out, or surviving with your skull intact?

Zombies don't exactly set any world records for their speed, so it's not too hard to stay ahead of the pack and spread them out a little. Seperate one or two, deal with them, lead the pack on a bit more, seperating one or two more, deal with them, rinse, repeat.

Personally I'd rather own a surplus tank. Secure the hatches from the inside and drive around crushing them under the tracks. Who cares if some climb on top, they can't eat through armour plate. Drive over some rough ground to shake them off then run over them. What could be easier?

Ah, The Simpsons is a great show.  I remember a quote from one of their halloween specials.  Correct me if I'm wrong at all w/ what the exact wording or who said what is.

Lisa:  Dad, you just shot zombie Flanders!

Homer:  (looking a little shocked) Flanders was a zombie?

I love zombie movies an own several on tape and DVD.  Actually when I first saw "Night of the Living Dead" as a pre-teen I had a lot of ideas.  Ever since I've kept some of them in mind.

First, the setting is usually in a farmhouse per Romero's original flick.  Open fields, not too hilly, no dense vegetation and nighttime.  I'd try to minimize the attraction of zombies by turning off lights and not freaking hammering like a moron.  

First priority is to board up the windows.  Nails are not strong and hammering is out so out come the drills and cordless screwdrivers.  I keep plenty of 3" 8# screws and drills on hand and expect to find the same.  Gotta work fast while there's still power.  

Once the house is secured, the women are left to cook while the other men watch the house and I get to go on the offensive.  This is my fantasy  and the guns are mine too you know.  I am limited by what weapons and ammo I actually own.  With this in mind, I put on my shooting vest.  Pockets are filled with about 500 rounds .22lr and 20 or so .44 mag.  Ruger .22 auto in my left pocket, Taurus M44 revolver in right hand thigh holster.  Marlin 22lr autoloading rifle with variable power scope in hand.  The SKS is to be left at the farmhouse incase I get into trouble outside and can't return.  It's simple enough to use for the untrained shooter.  After about an hour of zombie hunting surely the broads have supper ready, I'm hungry, and the Marlin really needs cleaning.

Fill my belly, drink a beer or two if any are around, and make a second sweep of the area.  After 22 ammo starts getting low the good old Marlin is again cleaned and passed over to capable hands at the house.  Out comes the AR and all I can carry with it.  Seven mags, a few spare parts, tac light batteries, bore snake, CLP, and lots of stripper clips and battle packs.  I find transportation, gas it up, and get the hell back to Texas.

Playing out this scenario in my mind is still fun when boredom sets in.  My friends are good enough to humor me and talk stratagy.  While looking for a new home my wife wanted me to see one just because of the zombie proof windows and fence.  Man I love her.  [:D]

 This is the best thread EVER.

 Also to the other clown and zombie hating insomniacs:  I'm with ya boys!!!  Kin' we slaughter us up some monkeys, too??????

damn, i just figured out my ex wife is a zombie[:D]

[ROFL]

I better stop laughing, I'm getting light headed.

And stay away from the un-dead ends as well, if you please.

Yes we can!  I know I posted on the f***ing monkey problem some time ago.  I can't remember the thread, but I posted about the f***ing macaques that kept escaping from a safari park south of Montreal and would border jump into Champlain, NY, where I use to live.
As long as we are here, don't forget about the velociraptor thread.  I can't stand those dinof***s!  People, use whatever you can come up with to rid the world of this evil!  Firearms, edged and blunt weapons, explosive ordinance, trucks with big brush guards, trucks without big brush guards, gasoline, weed wackers, and power tools!

Do not get me started on squerrils(sp), tree rats.

Bilster

Come guys we want coverage at close, medium and long range, right??? Humvee mounted with 4 1000WATT Horns and One MP3 player loaded with Barbara Streisand Songs!!! VOLUME on 10! Watchem DROP!!! Driver wears ear plugs and ear muffs to stay alive!

 Lion Dog...how could you be so cruel???  I wouldn't even hit a CLOWN with B.S. ...you are a cold calculated zombie killer, man!!!!!

 Glad to see fellow zombie/clown/squirrel/clombie [ROFL2] haters out there!!!

 Also glad to see some Simpson fans.

I also have another vote for a zombie gun: an original AR180...just shot my recently acquired one this morning and WOW, what a tack driver...compact, too!!!!!  Good "zombie coming at the stalled vehicle" gun.  Also has that ESSENTIAL zombie head busting 1 in 14 twist!!!!  OH YEAH!!!!!!!

Thank you.[:D]  Now go get some zombies![heavy][chainsawkill][rocket][sniper]

So what are some of the zombie killing documenteries out there? What do you think is the most educational?[:D]

SMG
Sarah Michelle Gellar

[bucky katt]Mmmmmonkeys![/bucky katt]


For getting midieval on some zombie ass..

(trying link [b]again[/b])

[url]http://store.museumreplicas.com/cgi-bin/www11650.storefront/3eebe8eb0099be0027464200c148063b/product/view[/url]

or go to [url]www.museumreplicas.com[/url] - and look under pole arms and axes for the "Bec De Corbin" (raven's beak).






Course, granpa us'ta sneak up so close, he could nail 'em with pebbles....

just when zombies were out of season, of course.

I got it - IMHO!!! A Trebuchet launching LAWYERS... relatively silent, long reach and inexhaustible amount of ammo!! Excellent two-fer - killing zombies using lawyers for something decent! And when/if we run out of lawyers, we can use POLITICIANS!!!

But some lawyers and politicians (is there [i]really[/i] a difference) have been living off the public for so many years, how would you tell them apart? I mean, there's both cold, heartless, and bloodsucking, who think of us living folks as a means of support...

[LCpl Hicks, USCM] Nuke the site from orbit...it's the only way to be sure[/LCpl Hicks, USCM}

Looking for errors, still looking. Damn.

That said, I find the Daito to be one of the most efficient fighting swords ever made. I am familiar with many forms of fencing besides Japanese Koryu. The Chinese Gim is nothing short of complex and the Do has many shortcomings.

Shite- the lawyers sound like ZOMBIES. I agree, nuke the site from orbit! [;-)]