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Posted: 8/22/2004 11:47:49 PM EDT
[#1]
Follow her to the store one day, take an ice-pick, ram it through her cars oil pan, shove a candle in the hole and leave.
I heard that on Opra..... |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 12:08:19 AM EDT
[#2]
Rent a tuba.
Begin to teach yourself to play it as you march on the sidewalk in front of their house. Practice makes perfect! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 12:09:53 AM EDT
[#3]
Take a big ol` shit right n their doorstep. Leave the used TP as a parting gift.
*Last post of the night. G'night all! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 12:15:54 AM EDT
[#4]
Or-
Go to a garden center. Buy a container of ladybugs. Empty the container into her back seat through an open car window. [Rob Schneider] You can DO it! [/Rob Schneider] |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 12:42:25 AM EDT
[#5]
Bagpipes are better 
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Posted: 8/23/2004 12:53:08 AM EDT
[#6]
It was Manuel Noriega, and yes, it eventually worked. noriega is still in a FL jail. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 1:17:02 AM EDT
[#7]
You guys are not thinking cruel enough
Step 1 -Go to your local hunting store and pick up some fox scent,deer scent,and anyother scent they have. step 2- check the habbits of said inbreeds step3 -on a certain night take all the scents picked up at store wear rubber gloves step 4-pour said scents onto the heater core if possible if not possible pour them onto the radiator not all in same spot step5- discard scent bottles far away from location burn gloves step6- sit back and enjoy the sound of fat ho gagging on the smell 
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Posted: 8/23/2004 1:18:49 AM EDT
[#8]
yer basically screwed, like you said for the immediate future you are the number 1 occupant on their "Who would fuck wwit us" list.
Most of the suggestions are unsuitable for a variety of reason, like the masterminds that think you should do something to them in person or spend 30 minutes in their front yard. Alsomaking false crime reports to the PD or Social Services is not a good idea. So you need to fall back on the classics, when in doubt grasshopper rely on the old timers "Revenge is best served cold." Wait until Halloween, publicize a Satanic Halloween Party at their place, and the sic the Bible Beaters on them, takes planning and research and good timing pushing the buttons, local media will sometimes run with stories, especially about conflicts without necessarily checking things out too well, especially when deadlines are involved., then move into the occasional ad in the local throw away rag, Auto-Trader or swingers paper, Unfortunately living where you do you miss out on the variety of winteriszation contractors you can turn on.. Siding contractors? a throwaway no contract cellphone maybe your best friend when setting up appointments, and you might just "register" it in her name. Like you noted any arrows pointing back to you need to be avoided. Annoying the other neighbors is undesirable, but look at it this way, they are probably going to be getting pissed with them also. Do you have another neighbor that maybe you can finesse into being the new #1 on the list? Kill two birds with one stone?
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Posted: 8/23/2004 1:18:59 AM EDT
[#9]
------Go to store
------Buy flowers and chocolates. ------Go home. ------Put your finest "Pimpin" suit on. ------Go to neighbors house with flowers and chocolates. ------Present Moms of the house with flowers and chocolates. ------In a rapid and aggressive manner court, woo, wine and dine Moms. ------Marry Moms. ------Put new stepdaughter on restriction and make her turn down stereo. Now wasn't that simple...?!! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 1:43:05 AM EDT
[#10]
what no one gonna qoute ragnar or gorge hayduke ?? they always have some good ideas
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Posted: 8/23/2004 1:51:28 AM EDT
[#11]
 , DAMN, well hey it is LEGAL..........
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:05:35 AM EDT
[#12]
Sit on your porch or in your driveway and watch them through binoculars. Co-worker...similar problem is doing this to his neighbor. She is in the process of selling her house.
so...it does work! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:08:24 AM EDT
[#13]
Retaliation in kind only lowers you to their level.
I know party pooper! Tj |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:13:53 AM EDT
[#14]
Anonymous call to Homeland Security.
 Print computer labels and send in for dozens of magazines in their name - very time consuming to dick with cancelling. Call some insurance agents and set up meetings in their home. Most public utilities are located on the outside of the house - phone, electric, gas, cable. Wouldn't be hard to disconnect stuff late at night. Just remember to wear gloves, just in case. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:33:28 AM EDT
[#15]
What state do you live in Steyr?
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:38:31 AM EDT
[#16]
Revenge is a dish best served cold, indeed. For entertainment value only, of course.
Get a valve core tool and slightly loosen the valve cores in her car tires. Causes a slow leak and almost nobody knows how to check them. Various scents and/or insects are also good, as described earlier. If you wont get caught, get some seed corn and a stick, and plant corn in their front yard at 3AM. Get a T handle and turn off their water. Fax them something at their home phone number, using an auto-redial fax. The damn phone will ring every 5 minutes for an hour or two, depending upon how many redials the fax is set for. Especially good at 2 AM. Superglue the door locks of the house or car. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:39:36 AM EDT
[#17]
Uh, you mean plastic FORKS right? |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:50:01 AM EDT
[#18]
I love arfcom. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:53:48 AM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:55:12 AM EDT
[#20]
Ya'll are being way to obvious. It is written in the rules at alt.revenge that you must WAIT until the fucktards will no longer expect/suspect that you are the perp. The lower the IQ the shorter the time frame
 Bide your time. In about 6 weeks let the campaign begin. THEN: Leave a message on the front lawn written with ROUNDUP. Make sure it isn't your hand writting  Toss road kill on the roof. Squirt Brake fluid on the vehicles. Use a pair of pliers & yank the valve stems off TWO of the wheels. If you do it at opposite corners you'll receive bonus points  |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:57:27 AM EDT
[#21]
+1 They will probably go after your cars next, sucks to wake with a big key make down the side, even though you will know who did it it will be hard to prove it and LEO will probably do nothing about it. Best case they would have to pay for it, but good luck getting any money from them. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 4:57:37 AM EDT
[#22]
Get a cake tin and put an inch or so of sugar, cookie crumbs, et c in the bottom. Set it in your yard. Using your NVG, when you see that the tin is as full of cockroaches as can reasonably be expected, pop the lid on. Box up the tin and ship it to Casa Bendejo via UPS overnight. Try to be in a spot to hear the reaction when it is delivered.
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Posted: 8/23/2004 5:07:29 AM EDT
[#23]
Call the cops. You will be arrested if you do the morally correct thing (smack some sense into their dumb selfish asses), so you might as well use the Man to your advantage. If you get into a pissing contest, you will just annoy the other neighbors, and I can almost guarantee that somebody will call the cops on you. By calling first, you leave a paper trail.
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Posted: 8/23/2004 5:17:23 AM EDT
[#24]
I vote for getting a camera/video camera and recording them every time you see them outside the house. It's perfectly legal, you can do it from across the street so you are threatening them, and it will definately piss them off while not disturbing your other neighbors. Anything seen from the public street is legal to film. If confronted you can just say you are recording suspicious activity.
Then to be really mean get some pictures from when the fat bitch or her mom is having a bad hair/outfit day or does something like fall down. Then put the really bad pictures of these people on a flyer, print up a bunch of them and nail them up all over the block. Don't put a name or address, just the photo. This method could also be done covertly, instead of making a scene while taking their pictures take them without them knowing. Imagine how pissed off a woman would get at having a really bad picture suddenly posted up all over town, along with the paranoia of knowing someone is watching her and filming her and she can't see them. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 5:22:32 AM EDT
[#25]
Open a bottle of skunk scent on the sidewalk in front of their house. The only thing is that it will also be smelled by the neighbors. Of course, you could just put the opened bottle of skunk scent right in front of their front door & then they would "accidentally" kick it over when they walked out.
Skunk scent poured out into a baggie & then thrown against the side of their house, at 2 AM, would be too nasty. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 5:44:19 AM EDT
[#26]
Roundup bomb their grass.
like a water balloon but with a 50/50 mix of everyone’s favorite herbicide. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 5:44:55 AM EDT
[#27]
Or, you could suck it up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around your worthless egotistical ass. There's more than one person living in your neighborhood. Why does everything have to always be about you?
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Posted: 8/23/2004 6:05:03 AM EDT
[#28]
You must enjoy: 1. scorpions in your mailbox; 2. flaming bags of shit on your door; 3. Haloween will be a RIOT!; 4. fixing flat tires; 5. dealing with scratches on your car my point is, man let it ride. Starting a war with neighbors just gets your home riddled with 9mm holes at 3 am...AIN't WORTH IT! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 6:22:19 AM EDT
[#29]
Go put a lean on their house.
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Posted: 8/23/2004 6:59:22 AM EDT
[#30]
Here's a GOOD one!
Subscribe her to : (PICK ONE) 1)S&M 2)Lesbo 3)Gay 4) Porn Send Magazine (in her name) to her NIEGHBOR'S house next door!!! |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 7:01:46 AM EDT
[#31]
subscribe her to magazines, porn, weight watchers etc.... all yo uhave to do is fill out the name and address and say bill me later...
make appointments to get the A/C, siding, roof checked out and have them all show up at the same time. Call a tow truck, tell them you're at work and have them pick up their car in the driveway and drop it off at the transmission place. Pick up a stray dog and put it in their backyard. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 7:15:45 AM EDT
[#32]
Lean an open bottle of Doe Estrus, raccoon urine, skunk scent, nasty swamp water..... against the front door. Ring doorbell. When they open the door, the bottle will tip into the house and maybe on carpet.
Hell, fill a mason jar with bleach and do it...nice white stain on the carpet. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 7:23:05 AM EDT
[#33]
"DU". 'nuff said. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:08:30 AM EDT
[#34]
No. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:16:31 AM EDT
[#35]
I tell them they don't have to deal with shit from me and I certainly shouldn't have to deal with their shit. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:16:57 AM EDT
[#36]
The person who recognizes that the world doesn't revolve around him is the one who is living in a way that has little or no effect on those around him, not the one who insists on inflicting his choices on unwilling participants. Can you figure who's who in the scenario that started the thread? |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:28:18 AM EDT
[#37]
Awesome thread... Good for many laughs!
I would vote for the "Let it Slide" option...When I see the neighbors that piss me off I just smile at and ask them how their day is going....When they say "Fine" I reply "Well that could always change!" and walk off. Instilling fear of the unknown works best in most situations. MT |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:31:25 AM EDT
[#38]
These are all good suggestions. I think the key here is anonymity. If they do not know it is you and have no proof, they can't press charges. All of the above suggestions are unbelievably annoying, but do no real harm or cause permanent damage. Simple harrasment. My roommate in college had this down to an art form. The little cards you get in magazines are easily filled out with their info and dropped in mail, most of the time free of charge. Wrecker drivers become highly agitated about false calls at 3:00 in the morning. Call the airport shuttle service to thier house at 5:00 in the morning with instructions to honk the horn several times. If you get one of those info packs in the mail, you know the one with about 500 cards for free information about certain products and services, fill them all out and get the junk mail rolling in to their address. Make appointments to have their yard mowed and have them leave the bill on their door. Just remeber caller ID blocker is your friend. I have seen all of the above senarios work with great success. Good luck. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:42:12 AM EDT
[#39]
I would go get a cat and put it in their yard. (any cat will do)
I hear that drives some people nuts. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:44:13 AM EDT
[#40]
There are so many time tested ways:
Own a Barking dog Wandering cats Too many cars, and park them in the street in front of his house Big assed boat or RV parked in your yard, driveway, or the street Loud windchimes Loud alarm clock you forget to turn off Loud parties Paint your house an ugly color Plant pine trees on the property line Put an ugly fence on the property line Take out your garbage two days early and leave the empty cans at the curb for two days after Buy your kids a go-ped or pocket motorcycle |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:52:36 AM EDT
[#41]
These are good, but we want annoy one specific neighbor with out pissing off the whole neighborhood. Another good suggestion is to call the police every time there is a noise infraction. After they have been out to the house 4 or 5 times they will get their point across. Just tell your neighbors that calling the cops is the best way you think of to "deal with their shit". |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:56:17 AM EDT
[#42]
List them in the classified for a week long garage sale. "Early birds welcome! Please knock loudly!" |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:56:44 AM EDT
[#43]
I advocate the "nasty scent" suggestion.
This IS ACTUALLY something I did to someone back in St. Louis years ago that I got into a similar "showdown" with. Get some skunk scent from the hunting dept. of the local WallyWorld or whatever, and a syringe. On a dark night when you're "tactical & covert  " sneak down and squirt the scent into their car or cars. Down there in FL it'll get REAL ripe in the heat.Make sure YOUR vehicle gets parked in the garage or in the yard with your yappy dog, so they can't do the same. Sooner or later they'll either get the hint not to fuck with you or you'll catch them doing something for revenge and then you can get the LEOs involved. Personally, I just cannot "turn the other cheek" when I'VE been polite and asked someone's cooperation and they've arbitrarily decided to be a complete asshole. I don't blame ya for being pissed off. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 8:59:03 AM EDT
[#44]
 |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:01:35 AM EDT
[#45]
I disagree - these are NOT good suggestions. They are at best juvenile and unethical  - and at worst may be illegal. If someone subscribed to porn in my name and had it sent to my house (as retaliation for some real or imagined slight), I would fucking hunt them down and kill them. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:07:24 AM EDT
[#46]
This whole entire thread and ALL the suggestions therein are juvenile and some are very illegal.
However, Steyr asked the question................ |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:10:32 AM EDT
[#47]
Apologize and invite them to go shooting with you.
Either they'll get scared that you own and shoot guns, or you'll make friends. If that doesn't work... Do some of the above. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:12:00 AM EDT
[#48]
TENNERITE AT 5am
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:19:48 AM EDT
[#49]
Steyr, is the stereo blasting a one time occurence or a pattern? Kind of dictates what response, if any, is required.
Crap like this makes me happy to live in the country with a lot of space between me and my neighbors. |
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Posted: 8/23/2004 9:25:47 AM EDT
[#50]
Would you like me to send you my black widow spider with the 3 egg sacs?
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