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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:12:38 PM EDT
[#1]
I divorced some 18 years ago and all my friends stayed married. I never invited any of them to do the same, and I certainly didn’t advise it unless all other options for saving or resuscitating the marriage had failed.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:13:32 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When you see a cluster, you may or may not be seeing an anomoly. From my observation, wives dump husbands after the kids leave home because he no longer adds value to their lives. Many good guys get dumped and dumped upon. Also, divorced women will tell married women that their lives are oh so much better now and that men are sorry bastards. This will begin to chip away at all but the strongest marriages. If you wife starts hanging out with divorced women, you need to have a talk with her. She needs to come clean on her feelings toward you and you can go forward from there. Divorced women are enemies of good marriages and the death of those that are sturggling. i think its more of 2 different things. 1. they focused on the kids as a way to ignore the suckage of a relationship they had. once the kids leave theres much less distractions and now they have to look at each other 24/7. they still see some life to live and want tro explore some new stuff, ESPECIALLY, if the husband / wife is not doing a good job of trying to keep them happy. i think some women fear staying longer as once the grandkids start rolling in, they fear losing themselves in the grandkids, and the life they still have left will get eaten up and vanish. they can still be grandparents, but while dating / in a newer / better relationship. 2. they stayed together just for the kids, and once the kids leave, that glue is gone and they feel more free to go their seperate ways, because they kids are adults, and their seperating now wont damage them as much.. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:14:07 PM EDT
[#3]
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:14:37 PM EDT
[#4]
Those who have pulled the eject handle are quick to encourage others to do the same. This isn’t an exclusively female trait. One has only to look at any relationship thread here on Arfcom to witness countless divorced/single men encouraging the OP and others to end things.
But yes, cluster divorce/break ups are a thing. Be careful the friends you choose and keep. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:15:34 PM EDT
[#5]
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:17:27 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have had this happen personally, and seen it happen in certain circles. Me and some friends all got dumped within 6 month because the girls thought the grass was greener on the other side. My buddy thought if he proposed to his ex-gf, she would change her mind. It took a couple weeks to convince him that was a bad idea. Also, don't let a single lady/divorcee be friends with married women. Their 'freedom' will ruin everyone elses marriage. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Misery loves company. I've seen women who can't get a decent man try to sabotage their "friend's" relationship multiple times." I have had this happen personally, and seen it happen in certain circles. Me and some friends all got dumped within 6 month because the girls thought the grass was greener on the other side. My buddy thought if he proposed to his ex-gf, she would change her mind. It took a couple weeks to convince him that was a bad idea. Also, don't let a single lady/divorcee be friends with married women. Their 'freedom' will ruin everyone elses marriage. luckily my woman works with a bunch of old washed up, crusty assed man haters, and have no green grass to offer.  she has one divorced friend, and is disgusted by her constant social media whoring, and lack of personal responsibility. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:20:43 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Women hate to see other women happy. If they're in a bad marriage they'll try to convince their friends that they are all in bad marriages and that a sex and the city lifestyle awaits all of them after divorce. This, 100%. 21 years ago my then-wife was convinced by her best friend of this. BF went as far as to convince her that she deserved to cheat. 6 months after the divorce my ex-wife begged to re-unite. I said no. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:21:17 PM EDT
[#8]
Friend of mine's wife divorced him for what she thought would be a better life. He never saw it coming.
6 months later, she wanted back in. He told her to pound sand and he would never be able to trust her again. She pressed on and the more she did, the more sand was pounded. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:21:31 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I guess I'm lucky. Our best friends are getting divorced. The woman filed. My wife responded with "what a stupid bitch". thats good stuff !  you can judge a lot about a woman by the way she responds to other women treating men / relationships badly, cheating, etc. if your dating a woman and her female friend blows up a relationship over something petty, or cheats and your woman is like " you go girl !", and is fully supportive even when the friend is not around, defending said friends decision to divorce because shes " bored", etc. yeah, thats LIKELY how she feels about that shit, and is likely to be ok with doing it to you, at some later date. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:24:30 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: MGTOW SQUADDD? I was gonna tag you if you weren't here yet. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:25:07 PM EDT
[#11]
My wife doesn't hang around with women that are divorced, or are single and whorish.
Her choice, not mine. I have never had to say a word about it. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:27:08 PM EDT
[#12]
I think so. I know that my ex was associating with a group of people who seemed to be getting divorced around the same time. I think that they act as a support group for each other
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:29:59 PM EDT
[#13]
Yes... in Hungary it is the same that I noticed.
I lived with 3 divorced ladies in their 30s and my ex wife lived in a cluster of 4 of them. All weird shit. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:30:41 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When you see a cluster, you may or may not be seeing an anomoly. From my observation, wives dump husbands after the kids leave home because he no longer adds value to their lives. Many good guys get dumped and dumped upon. Also, divorced women will tell married women that their lives are oh so much better now and that men are sorry bastards. This will begin to chip away at all but the strongest marriages. If you wife starts hanging out with divorced women, you need to have a talk with her. She needs to come clean on her feelings toward you and you can go forward from there. Divorced women are enemies of good marriages and the death of those that are sturggling. It’s a mix of projection and validating their own choices by convincing others to follow them. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:30:56 PM EDT
[#15]
Deleted
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:31:19 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: All social decisions that receive affirmation in friend groups create clusters among women. *SNIP* This. It goes far beyond intimate relationships. Politics, work, friendships, and general opinions are included. Women live and die by social clustering as a survival mechanism. It's not bad or good, it just is what it is. Generally being the weaker sex, especially during pregnancy, women have compensated by battling in the psychological arena and making sure they're accepted in the group. While we're all social creatures, men have it a bit easier considering they can occasionally go their own way and provide for themselves if need be. A perfect example of this is being able to tell a female's political stance, if they've taken one even casually, based on the groups she's around. There's almost no agency and you can set your watch by it. Modern feminism can not immediately revoke the vast years of evolution to get to this point, even though they'll say otherwise. ETA: Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but I would be lying if I didn't truly believe the above is the rule. Don't mean to offend the free thinkin ladies. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:31:41 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Those who have pulled the eject handle are quick to encourage others to do the same. This isn’t an exclusively female trait. One has only to look at any relationship thread here on Arfcom to witness countless divorced/single men encouraging the OP and others to end things. True. Though for different reasons. Marriage is a bad deal for most men. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:33:00 PM EDT
[#18]
Two chicks at work both just split with their husbands at exactly the same time. They’re (the girls) best friends. 100% chance they plotted it together.
On a humorous note, new boss saw her name change and congratulated her on the wedding
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:34:30 PM EDT
[#19]
Yep. Everyone of my ex-wife's cluster of friends is now divorced. Statistically, I would have never believed that ALL of them would split, but it happened.
So what does that tell you if there's a 50% divorce rate? Married women hang with married women. Divorce women hang with divorced women. The shit is socially contagious. My ex is on husband number 3 and she still calls him by my name. How fucked up is that? I guess I made an impression, but I'd like to think I was the best the husband out of the bunch. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:35:11 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryI live just down the road from you, and didn't even get an invite? |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:35:57 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I live just down the road from you, and didn't even get an invite? Quote HistoryQuoted: I live just down the road from you, and didn't even get an invite?
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:35:57 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Women hate to see other women happy. If they're in a bad marriage they'll try to convince their friends that they are all in bad marriages and that a sex and the city lifestyle awaits all of them after divorce. That sounds deeply disturbing. And I'm a married woman... 
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:36:31 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Thus proves the commonality between trailer parks and HOA's. a prophet and a scholar |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:36:43 PM EDT
[#24]
Men are pigs, women are sheep.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:37:43 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I live just down the road from you, and didn't even get an invite? Quote HistoryQuoted: I live just down the road from you, and didn't even get an invite? are you a young Asian chick? |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:38:42 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryDeleted |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:40:27 PM EDT
[#27]
I have seen this sort of tragedy more than once:
A woman hits the divorce lottery, gets generous child support, alimony, the house, the car, etc. Then women around her believe they will hit the same lottery and be independently wealthy if they get divorced. But often they don't get the same generous severance, and they wind up much worse off financially than if they had stayed married. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:41:16 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: are you a young Asian chick? No, but most young Asian chicks love me. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:43:04 PM EDT
[#29]
Women are pack creatures. When one complains of something, they see the same problems in their lives - even if they don't really exist.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:44:14 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You have seen women go to the bathroom, right? They are communal. There is a reason there are no historical female explorers or female built civilizations. Followers by nature. Real women anyway. Maybe some trans women are different. Screen name checks |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:44:41 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Those who have pulled the eject handle are quick to encourage others to do the same. This isn’t an exclusively female trait. One has only to look at any relationship thread here on Arfcom to witness countless divorced/single men encouraging the OP and others to end things. But yes, cluster divorce/break ups are a thing. Be careful the friends you choose and keep. You do have a point. Hush!
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:48:31 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 4, 1, 3, 2 This. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:52:49 PM EDT
[#33]
My soon to be ex girlfriend's role model is a girl she works with and on regular occasion calls her while lying in her kitchen floor having a fucking nervous breakdown.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:55:11 PM EDT
[#34]
If your wife's friend group is all newly divorced that's a red flag.
If your wife is the most attractive out of said friend group, and they start going to the club every weekend, then you need to be extra concerned because that's a huge red flag. Like clockwork this is how infidelity kicks off. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:57:57 PM EDT
[#35]
See it all the time.
One thing I’ve noticed in most women is a desire to be seen as a victim. They crave the attention and the “oh you poor thing” sympathy. It’s the whole reason behind women just wanted to hear you talk about their problems rather than solve them. It’s the “look at how mean this person is to me” and “look at me, I’m a victim”mentality. When a woman with this mindset sees all her friends consoling another in devoted they get a bit jealous of the attention. They may not realize it but they feel deserving of that attention and crave being heralded as someone maligned by some evil man. This is the real reason behind the “crush the patriarchy” and BLM nonsense. It Is fake victim hood. Everyone wants to be seen as the victim anymore. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 2:57:58 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yes Social contagion affects both men and women, the latter much more so This. they all hear stories of riding the cock carousel and want to 'jump on' too.... |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:00:42 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. they all hear stories of riding the cock carousel and want to 'jump on' too.... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Yes Social contagion affects both men and women, the latter much more so This. they all hear stories of riding the cock carousel and want to 'jump on' too.... @WhiskersTheCat Page 2 |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:01:27 PM EDT
[#38]
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:04:45 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have seen this sort of tragedy more than once: A woman hits the divorce lottery, gets generous child support, alimony, the house, the car, etc. Then women around her believe they will hit the same lottery and be independently wealthy if they get divorced. But often they don't get the same generous severance, and they wind up much worse off financially than if they had stayed married. That is an interesting component. I saw the first one in one group hit the divorce lottery and came out well ahead, the second group started with one that was successful in her own right, the rest that followed were break even at best. Both groups moved to dating much sooner than I would have imagined. The few men that I know who have divorced have been much slower to date. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:05:43 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Definitely was a contributing factor in my first marriage. Ex wife was super jealous of her slutty single friend's and felt like she was missing out. QFT. My soon to be EX was the same way. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:06:21 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have seen this sort of tragedy more than once: A woman hits the divorce lottery, gets generous child support, alimony, the house, the car, etc. Then women around her believe they will hit the same lottery and be independently wealthy if they get divorced. But often they don't get the same generous severance, and they wind up much worse off financially than if they had stayed married. if divorce was a 50/50 chance of the woman losing everything, and some female friends had stories of hitting the lottery and having great fun, while others became homeless, and were reduced to sucking dick behind a bar to pay child support payments, or working 2 jobs, putting in 80 hours a week to afford the alimony and child support payments, were always stressed and exhausted and no time to go have fun at a bar or anywhere else and lamenting how big a mistake they made by divorcing...it would throw some cold water on the eagerness to pull that slot handle in the first place. right now its a 95% chance of the woman winning big, so why not, which is bullshit. you would think just the percentages alone in such heavy favor of females would be enough for the supreme court etc to piss on the lower courts etc. equal rights should be equal, you get the good and the bad. not this one sided bullshit we currently have. i wonder... lets say your getting divorced, and BOOM, the man comes out as trans... i bet that would toss a wrench into the judges decision, after all, a trans woman is better than a standard woman apparently, maybe thats the new work around we need. . wife... i want a divorce, ill take all your shit ! ! they go to court. husband.... , your honor, i appreciate if you call me, mrs smith as im a woman now, not a dude.. judge.. ( dang, dont want to piss off the trans community,) your so brave mrs smith ! how much alimony do you think is fair for your ex wife to pay? wife... fuck !   Attached File |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:07:52 PM EDT
[#42]
Yes.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:09:04 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: @WhiskersTheCat Page 2 Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Yes Social contagion affects both men and women, the latter much more so This. they all hear stories of riding the cock carousel and want to 'jump on' too.... @WhiskersTheCat Page 2  It. Never. Fails. 
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:09:06 PM EDT
[#44]
Went out to eat last night with a group of ex-coworkers. 4 are married to their first husbands at a minimum of 23 years, 1 married to second husband almost 20 years, 1 never married, 1 divorced twice.
Wasn't much talking about marriages except for a 5-minute conversation between 2 of the long-time first marriage women about how they're not happy, husbands are roommates only interested in what's on tv and what's for supper, if they could go back and do it again they wouldn't have married them except they would never wish for their kids to not exist. We were there 3.5 hours. Rest of conversation was jobs, kids, local scandals/deaths, and memories from way back when we all worked together. Everybody knows how happily married I am. They tell me how nice it is, how lucky I am, and they wish they could have that. Never had anybody try to convince me otherwise. 
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:11:15 PM EDT
[#45]
Something I found strange was the number of women that have are divorcing or newly divorced living with a married couple. To my knowledge none of them had a sexual component. Some of them also have their kids living with them. Time periods have ranged from a month or two to years. My guess is they could not manage a separate household financially with the single income, but it is just a guess.
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:15:35 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: wtf is this? A woman who is married is only allowed to be friends with other women who are married?! Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: A good wife only associates with other respectable married women wtf is this? A woman who is married is only allowed to be friends with other women who are married?! Ignore him. It's his schtick. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:16:51 PM EDT
[#47]
My parents divorced in 1981 and it was definitely part of a cluster of women that my mom was friends with. She was one of the last ones to do it and before she asked for the divorce my dad saw it coming and took action so she didn't destroy him with alimony and child support like the other women did.
The other women were treating it like winning the lottery, and the ex-husbands were financially ruined. One literally lost everything except his clothes. He showed up at our house crying with no money and nowhere to go. So not only does it happen in clusters I think it's like a feeding frenzy that brings out the worst in women. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:17:26 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Women hate to see other women happy. If they're in a bad marriage they'll try to convince their friends that they are all in bad marriages and that a sex and the city lifestyle awaits all of them after divorce. I have seen this happen over and over again with the same miserable women. After a while they're seen for what they are and lose all of their friends and have to start over with a new group of trusting suckers. They're like locusts. |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:22:15 PM EDT
[#49]
The closest thing to sex some "long marriages" have is saying "fuck you" to the each other when they're accidentally in the same part of the house at the same time
 ETA: The thing that gets me most is the new gf is always "that skank he's with now"...no matter the age, appearance, weight or hygiene...and when in groups it is heresy to even question if there is another side to the story (...because there always is) The best reply I ever heard came from a 65 year old commercial builder and business owner who had lived working on the road in a travel trailer and hadn't seen his wife in over 2 years. He had a 30-something year old gf on the payroll who showed him what a blow-job was and suddenly he was throwing down $300k to buy a new playhouse in a neighboring town where he could stay when he was off the road and didn't want to go home |
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Posted: 6/29/2021 3:22:42 PM EDT
[#50]
Short answer is YES. I’ve seen it first hand. The women traded information and strategies with each other. It was like a complex multi year conspiracy against their husbands. No sane man should EVER get married.
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