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It's a terrible feeling the very first time you realize what some of humanity is willing to do to others. In the case of my aunt, this gang member who murdered her was serious enough that both my mother & I were driven to and from court by an FBI agent. What I learned about these people was burned in to my mind in the most dramatic of ways. Easy Rider? Not even close. These people are savages. I'm really sorry to hear about that friend or yours son in law. It's a painful awakening when you feel it so close to home. |
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That's similar to what happened to my father. He died after a massive heart attack. I remember doing CPR on him and staring into his eyes. I had a nightmare or two about that and being the cause of his death after he died. Scarier than any other nightmare I've ever had. Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas... |
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Several years ago I saw an 80-something year-old woman who came in coughing up massive amounts of blood. She was literally drowning in it. Just about all of her family were in the Emergency Department with her. She was ready for it to be over and done with. After some very frank discussion, the family realized that she was suffering. With everyone in the room with her, talking to her, holding her hands, I gently pushed Morphine through her IV until she relaxed, went to sleep, and her breathing became more and more slow until it stopped. There was not a dry eye in the room. To this day I am convinced I did the right thing.
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You did, many hospitals would have never done that and that would have caused even more suffering for all involved.
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First off, sorry to all of you who had to be a part of or witnessed a loss of life. Everyone says death is a part of life, but that never makes it any easier.
My story took place in March 2001 at the hotel where I work loss prevention. At 5:30 AM I responded to a call from Room 329 (which sickly enough happens to be my favorite #) stating that the room's occupant said, "I think my husband's having a heart attack!" Upon arrival I identified myself and went to the man's side. After checking for a pulse and respiration I was relieved that he still had a faint pulse, but he had no signs of breathing. But it didn't last and his pulse stopped about 15 seconds after I finished checking it. I then radioed the night auditor to call the squad and moved the man to the floor. A female nurse from a neighboring room arrived after I began CPR and tried to comfort the wife outside. Approximately 15 minutes later the squad arrived and I continued breaths and compressions while they prepared to defribulate. I continued compressions between shocks while the paramedics gave breaths and watched the EKG monitor. After about a total of 20 minutes unassisted CPR, and 20-25 more of compressions I was spent. I will never forget seeing the paramedics and that nurse talking to his wife in the hallway. I was so emotionally drained I could not bring myself to speak to her and left the room through the balcony doors. I remember going to the bathroom and rinsing my mouth out to get rid of the man's taste. I will never forget that and sometimes am reminded of it. Typing out that Incident Report was like being detached from my own mind. I just hit the keys. I never heard from his wife myself, but my boss said she called and thanked us for our help. If I met her today I don't know what I would feel. All I know is that I would say, "I'm sorry." I pray no person ever has to witness death. Edited for typographical errors |
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"Honest officer, the dwarf was on fire when I got here!" |
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Not sure this was the best thread idea. A lot of very difficult emotions and memories being bruoght back up for a lot of people. Condolensces for those of you who have lost loved ones in this manner.
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I've disconnected ventilators or I.V.'s/feeding tubes on patients who had a living will or the family agreed to disconnect when there was no hope of meaningful recovery. This would be in a person who was not brain dead as the latter get disconnected because they are no longer considered 'alive'. The only exception is organ donors who are kept connected until organs are harvested. Believe me: I'm doing these people a favor. Otherwise, I've never killed anyone and don't plan to unless they are an imminent threat to my or my family's life.
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WTF?!?!?! OMG that was funny! |
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This is a tough thread for me to read. My dad died at home when I was 15. My mom died at home when I was 19. I was not in their room at the time.
A little over 7 years ago, my teen-aged son hung himself with an extention cord from a lamp post. I drove his mother and me from Dallas to Beaumont to claim the body. When we walked into the room where he was laid out and saw his body for the first time.......let me put it this way.....the woman who was his mom and soon my ex-wife died that that. Her body is still walking around, but she isn't recognizable. It destroyed her on the inside. I wanted to die. Parts of you die when you look onto the face of your dead child, stroke their hair and ask why. |
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I think that's the funniest thing I have ever read on ARFCOM. LMFAO. TXL |
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I was in the room when my mom was in that condition (no recovery). The morphine eased her pain. It was a favor you do. To you, and those who do your job, thank you. TXL |
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Say what? |
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Hummmm... When I was a teenager I also asked this same question of a law enforcement officer in our area that was a bit of a legend -- He just smiled and told me "real men don't ask that question of each other"
...he was a very bright man |
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That just hurts reading it. I can't imagine not being like your wife if that happened to me. Damn what an awful thing to go through. My prayers to you. |
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What do you think about disconnecting someone who wasn't brain dead? |
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Thankfully, I am able to happily and directly answer this question: NO, I haven't.
Which isn't to say I couldn't rattle off the names of a few people on the planet I'd like to smoke if given the opportunity.... |
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*Technically* it is killing someone, but if their living will or the next of kin (spouse, children) specifically state that the person did not want to be kept alive by artificial means, then I don't have any problem with it. That doesn't mean I don't think about it. I am embroiled in a case right now where half the children admit that their parent, who is not brain dead, would not want to live the way they are in their current state, but they still want the parent kept alive by artificial means. This person is visibly suffering and we are limited by how much pain medication can be used because of their fragile medical state. Imagine the lawsuit if the parent dies and some of the children accuse us of killing their parent. |
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1. I also doubt that this was a good idea for a thread. However, it seems to have done some good, so all I will say is that not all people are ready for catharsis just because you are ready to hear about it.
2. A lot of this has been painful to read. To those who shared your stories, you have my utmost sympathy. 3. There is a lot of chest thumping macho bullshit on this board about "wasting" certain so and so's. I pray that everyone gets the point, intended or not... Killing is final. 4. To answer your question. no, I haven't killed anyone. |
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Yeah, it's tough stuff. My dad wasn't braindead, but he ended up in a situation where we all knew he'd be furious if he woke up and saw what we'd let them do to him. (pump instead of a heart, fasciotomy of all limbs, amputation of a foot.) The docs came in one morning and wanted to move the amputation up from just below a knee to up to his hip and we finally woke up and said enough. I feel worse about letting it go on as far as it did than I do about unplugging the heart pump. |
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I've killed 1000's of people.........in video games! Also demons and zombies and wierd outer space alien things and on and on and on.
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In a non-military situation, No.
That having been said, I was told of my fiancee's murder before her parents were told, and went to their house to tell them, but couldn't make myself walk up to the door. I sat out in front of their house for probably an hour before I left. (Her mother later told me that she had heard my truck running, but hadn't been able to see it when she looked out the window.) I was the #1 suspect on county's list (blame the boyfriend) until they got an ironclad alibi from my chief that I had been sitting in the dayroom at the station, with 10 other guys, when the incident happened. To this day, we're convinced that we know who did it, we just can't prove it. I'll go to my grave not believing otherwise. (That's all I'm going to say on that.) Doing EMT work, I haven't had a patient die while in my care, but I've helped transport a few who I found out later had died. I can only hope that what assistance I rendered helped to ease their suffering. |
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I was in the room with my mom when she died. She had been in and out of ICU for a few weeks and was supposed to come home in a few days. Then she developed an infection that pushed her body over the edge and she went into a coma. My wife and I brought our daughters in to see her and talk to her, even though she couldn't respond. I told them not to say goodbye because Grandma would always be with them. Then we took the girls home and went back to the hospital. My dad, my brothers, my sister and I stayed at Mom's side for most of 2 days, holding her hands, stroking her hair, talking to her. She was unresponsive, but I know she could hear us. Her breathing got slower and more erratic and we knew she was leaving us. I have never prayed as hard as I did that night. The doctors gave her a morphine push and her body began to relax. My dad held her hand and told her it was OK to go, that she would be missed, but her leaving could never undo all of the good she had done in the world and we would all be together again someday. And she died. I stayed with her, waiting for her to breathe again, to sit up and tell us all to stop crying, anything.
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As the author of this thread, I'd like to take a minute to comment on a few thoughts expressed here.
1) Some have stated that this thread wasn't a good idea. To that I say this: Nobody is forced to sit in front of their computers and type ANYTHING. If they so choose, then they have that right. The same goes for reading what others choose to share. If you don't want to contribute or have nothing to contribute, then don't. If you don't care to read what others have shared, then move along. It's that simple. A thread like this just might serve a purpose that you don't personally relate to, but that sure as hell doesn't mean it's without value to others in some sense. Try to step outside of yourself long enough to grasp that notion. 2) To those that have shared some very personal and heart felt stories, I want to thank you. Though I haven't personally ended anyones life, as I have posted already, I have been in close proximity to the events and sights of the murder of my aunt. My best friend was also killed when he was 25 years old, and I relate personally and deeply to the pain the death of those we love brings to ones life. It's honestly like experiencing a new emotion, and until that precise moment in time, we are ALL completely unprepared for the feelings that are forced to the surface for the first time in our lives. Sure, we all know death is inevitable in a general sense, but when it's in your face, and as personal as it can be, the feeling is NOTHING that you could have prepared for in advance. It is shocking and changes you forever. Thanks to those who've touched this topic with their personal, and often very pianful experiences. I for one do not take such words lightly. I value every one of those stories as the personal tragedies that they are, and empathize with the difficulty often found in expressing them. |
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I havent killed anyone but I saw what lookeed like a body covered with a big white sheet on the side of the road next to an upside down suburban. That messed with my head for a while, I think it changed me as a person.
Also, when my step grandfather was in the hospital with cancer, I was the last one in the room when he left this world. Even though he wasnt my real grandfather he was the closest thing that I had to a grandpa...he welcomed me to the family, and was nothing but nice to everyone he ever came across. I knew the cancer was getting bad when he started to swear, as a lifelong mormon this was very unusul. I only wish I could have told him how much me ment to me and that I loved him. My advice, for what its worth, live like you were dying. |
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+1 That just made my eyes tear up!! |
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+1 |
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Y'know....I don't think I ever told anybody but my wife (and those who were there) about the girl in the traffic accident. Somehow, I felt okay telling y'all......weird.
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Prayers for you Mahatma |
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My advice, for what its worth, live like you were dying.
+1 I can't say it enough respect yourself, make sure that you can look at yourself in the mirror, and live today as if it were your last. You are the only one that will be in that box when they cover it with dirt. Be true to that and remember we could be looking at your name pinned to the top of the page tommorow. Have you grabbed your wife today? Have you hugged your kids? When you look up and see a 74 Ford pickup fucking your hood and you are in a mazda GLC, then you know you might not be having breakfast the next day. |
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That completely choked me up. At least she didn't die alone, she had someone to comfort her. |
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+1 Never killed anyone. OTOH, I have saved a couple lives. |
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Same here... and if just HEARING about this story makes me almost tear up, I can't imagine actually being in Stoney-Point's shoes. And the story about the teenager hanging himself... I just don't think I would be able to go on after something like that. I'm going to give my wife and kids EXTRA-BIG hugs tonight. --Mike |
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Yes, we are all used to killing "large numbers of people quickly" as well as hordes of babies, all while firing from the hip using "clips" that hold hundreds of "bullets"! |
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Very moving. |
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While in college, I supplemented my GI Bill $$'s as a "flashlight cop", while working at a chemical distributor one night, the local Sheriff came into the plant to notify me that they were bringing in a body, and that he needed me to secure the gate at that time to keer the press away. Later one of our trucks came in the gate followed by the coroner and several squads. In the truck was a 55 gal. drum of acid with a 6'3-4" 280-300lb man folded up inside. He had been shot in the head with IIRC a .22lr, and the murderer thought that acid was a good means of disposal. The acid had eaten away all the body fat and meat, but not much else, including the vic's DL. we filled a containment dike with water, and dumped the barrel. It was a godawful smell and just all around not very pleasant to look at. The perpetrator was, ironically, captured in my back yard a few weeks later after having been shot by the Sheriff through the back of the neck w/ a .38/.357.
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Yes. I have a scar on my arm which is a daily reminder of what happened. Totally in self-defence and I'm not discussing it further.
I'm offering this because you asked a serious question. |
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I couldn't imagine coming on here and talking about it.
Not saying I have or haven't. This isn't the time or place. |
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November 17th, 1997. On Highway 18 just outside of Mcminville, Or.
I was on my way home after a night of delivering auto glass up and down the Oregon coast. It was about 5:30 in the morning and the 4 lane, undevided, highway was busy but moving at a good pace. About a mile ahead of me, I see a blue full size pick up begin to hydroplane in the oncoming lanes. he crosses the yellow line and sideswipes an SUV befor going head on into a 1994 Plymouth voyager, a purple one. It took me about 10-15 seconds to get to the scene and as I passed by, the driver of the pickup was climbing out of the passenger side of his truck. Most of his face was hanging off of his chin. I parked just beyond his truck and got out with my little first aid kit. As I ran up to him I asked if he was O.K. He looked up at me and just said "no." I told him to sit down, I was going to check on the other driver. The drivers side of the voyager was completey caved in. He had hit at an agle, basically on the left front corner of the bumper. I ran around to the passenger side and opened the door. To this day, I can tell you EVERY detail about the inside of that van, right down to the smell. THe driver, a female in buisness clothes, was slumped over the steering whell which had been pushed back into her stomach. it had hit her with such force that her stomach contents were all over the windshield and dashboard. Mix that with the coppery smell of blood... you get the picture. She was gurgling blood and her breathing was very eratic and shallow. She was totally unresponsive to my questions and she appeared to have a small cut over her left eye. When I wiped away the blood on her cheek so I could see the wound, I looked down at the gauze in my hand, and saw the remnants of her left eyeball. Her name was Cindy. She was 37 years old and had 2 young kids. I met her husband at the funeral. He thanked me for keeping her alive long enough for him and the kids to say goodbye. I still have nighmares about it sometimes. |
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Wow....that's incredible....wonder how many people can see something like that and just keep driving? Brutal to witness, even worse to experience. You're a good man for doing what you did. Something I'd probably replay in my mind for years. |
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after beeing counseld by my wifes docters after she had fought a long battle with cancer i had to sighn a do not recesitate order i was told by all that was the best thing to do i sat by her bedside for 6 more days untill she took her last breath but i have felt quilt for giving in to the dnr order ever since its a position i would not want to put wy worst enemy in the hardest decision of my life
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No accouning for some peoples taste.....or the lengths a post whore will go. What a class act...way to go, nice contribution considering the post above yours. |
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Maybe because most people that have been forced to kill dont generally feel like discussing it on the internet.
Your question lacked tact and maturity to begin with, so dont get all holy on me. |
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Hey, I would kill a man . . . . . . for a Klondike Bar. |
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