Tell him to get lost if he cmes around call the cops not worth losing your job over.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Well, me and the wife have been married for 10 years, and if she wants to help this dude out instead of respecting my wishes she can move her a@# in with him.  Last thing in the world I need is some problem to arise and cause me to be denied my TS.   Geeeze dude relax. It sounds like you are going ape shit on your wife over this and your security clearance. Take a breath and nicely explain to your wife the downfalls of making contact with this guy, she is human, she hopefully understand. If you don't get your security clearance life will go on. Life isn't all about money and high position jobs.... Not once have I heard you say anything about your wife's safety, just how important getting the clearance is. You should evaluate your priorities again. As for the drug user, fuck him. After five years of him not being around, hooked on dope and now he comes popping back into your life, he is there for one thing.... Money. I thought I already posted this, but if not, here I go.  I told my wife to never, ever allow him into our home.  My fear is he could come over while I am gone, (he doesn't know I work days now instead of swings) and bring some dope dealer with him, and let the dealer rape my wife in exchange for wiping out a drug debt.       This is a first for me, never had to turn my back on a friend like this, but he chose the life style he is living, not my wife and I.  I very seriously doubt he wants to re-establish a friend ship, I think he wants back in our lives to mooch off us.  He asked me back in the summer if he could stay with us for a short while, until he got back on his feet.      That sent shivers up my spine then, and I politely told him no.  I have the extra rooms, no problem with that, but I do not trust him around my wife.  Plain and simple!!!!

There is no way I would let this guy in my home at all. Not even to visit.
Don't leave shit laying around, especially keys.
If you have any meds in your medicine cabinet, move them.

Maybe it is time you have a little man to man talk with the guy and tell him to FO. If he shows up after that...

...he's not the guy you were friends with in the past...sorry to hear it.

Quoted: There is no way I would let this guy in my home at all. Not even to visit. Don't leave shit laying around, especially keys. If you have any meds in your medicine cabinet, move them. Maybe it is time you have a little man to man talk with the guy and tell him to FO. If he shows up after that...

I'd say you are a asshole, but then again

I agree 110% with drjarhead, you have done what you can and have even offered help, but he does not want help, not in the least.

This is not aboout you're security clearance or job, but about taking care of you're loved ones and making sure they are safe.

Personally I'd change the locks in the house (just cuz) and make sure ya have good deadbolts. Take the wife shooting & get some alarm company signs & put them out where everybody can see & possibly a fake camera in a obvious location.

Shift you're schedual & do stuff out of character and have the wife do the same, just like if you were living in Saudi and working in the oil patch. Do not be predictable, of if you are make sure the wife in NOT predictable.

Plus I'd have a man to mouse talk telling him he is not welcome in or around you're home till he's been clean a minimum of 6 months & make sure he knows you are not playing around & are extremly serious.

Hell I have a PHD in A-Holology...infact I am "THE A-HOLE".

You Sir did the right thing for your family ,yourself and your former freind!  Be proud!


That's the way I see it!

Cut the strings and move on.

Dead weight will only bring you down.

Quoted: No, you are not.   You offered to get him help, even pay for it.  You sound like a good friend to me.

Right on.  No one forced him to smoke that first hit of crack.  It was his decision.  He's a big boy.  Why is it your responsiblity to potentially RUIN your own future going out on a limb for someone who will most likely balk at you anyway.

You made the offer, he turned you down.  Let him go.

MONEY is NOT the most important thing in this world.

Do what Jesus would do....

You were Baptised together for some reason."If" he is 100% commited to trying to clean up i would commit myself to help my brother out before worrying about money.

God's blessings will be MUCH more rewarding than your paycheck could ever be...................

Despite knowing this dude I was granted my Clearance.  I informed my wife that the dude is no longer wanted in my house.  Her Aunt also has a TS and told her the same thing, how you have to really be careful of whom you have contact with.  

Not as much of one as I am.
I would have laughed at him, and told hin to get the fuck off my porch.

He's in the grip of drugs, and is not the same person you knew five years ago.

He's looking for someone to support his drug lifestyle, and he thinks you're a good prospect.

You are right on.