Not a trucker, but my dad was one back in the day, didn't do OTR but did transportation between rail yards.  

"Truckers' clock, who wants it?"

Quoted: "Truckers' clock, who wants it?"

"Ya, I see you gotta big 'ol load there, flatbead".

Quoted: "Truckers' clock, who wants it?"

WTF is this?
Linkage?

Quoted: Quoted: I think there is enough golfers with guns that we won't get pushed out of the way. w00t!

Eh, don't worry, some of us here are DOT certified too.  Nothing like letting the drivers know you are going to do a level 1 on them to calm down.  

Seriously though, I only do DOT inspections about one or two shifts a  month.  The rest of the time I'm dealing with drunks, thiefs, druggies and molesters -  just a regular patrol officer.  I've met some pretty good people that drive trucks and some real losers.  Some drivers have assisted us while we have been on the ground wrestling with some dirt bag, and others have been some of the most outrageous idiots that I've ever met.  The one that comes to  mind is the one that passed me on a snowy night, 5 miles down the road he is in the trees down in the median.  I told him, "Maybe you should have slowed down after you passed me?"  His reply "Well you don't understand smokey, I'm hauling 80,000 lbs, and the faster I go, the more friction is created and it melts the ice on the road"  Amazing logic there.  I haven't been to a driving school yet that said speed up on the ice.  On the other side of the coin, I've worked with some cops that have been the best people in the world and some of the biggest idiots too.  

You guys that drive trucks for a living, do us (and yourself!!) a favor, be courteous and keep  your equipment in good shape.  You guys do a job that I don't think I could do for any length of time!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I think there is enough golfers with guns that we won't get pushed out of the way. w00t! Eh, don't worry, some of us here are DOT certified too.  Nothing like letting the drivers know you are going to do a level 1 on them to calm down.   Seriously though, I only do DOT inspections about one or two shifts a  month.  The rest of the time I'm dealing with drunks, thiefs, druggies and molesters -  just a regular patrol officer.  I've met some pretty good people that drive trucks and some real losers.  Some drivers have assisted us while we have been on the ground wrestling with some dirt bag, and others have been some of the most outrageous idiots that I've ever met.  The one that comes to  mind is the one that passed me on a snowy night, 5 miles down the road he is in the trees down in the median.  I told him, "Maybe you should have slowed down after you passed me?"  His reply "Well you don't understand smokey, I'm hauling 80,000 lbs, and the faster I go, the more friction is created and it melts the ice on the road"  Amazing logic there.  I haven't been to a driving school yet that said speed up on the ice.  On the other side of the coin, I've worked with some cops that have been the best people in the world and some of the biggest idiots too.   You guys that drive trucks for a living, do us (and yourself!!) a favor, be courteous and keep  your equipment in good shape.  You guys do a job that I don't think I could do for any length of time!

AHHHHHH the EnemY!!! Get 'em !! Dirt bag Diesel Bear!!!!

Just kidding, I get along with most DOT, a few rookies that THINK they know what thery are doing get on my last nerve

ETA:
How is this for a funny insult
"Eastbound, ya got a DOT in the median looking for a victum"
response "Screw that blueberry top , bacon cruising, doughnut eatin' dirtbag deisel bear, tell him to go hassle a REAL criminal" I dont say it serious , but it gets em

Quoted: AHHHHHH the EnemY!!! Get 'em !! Dirt bag Diesel Bear!!!! Just kidding, I get along with most DOT, a few rookies that THINK they know what thery are doing get on my last nerve ETA: How is this for a funny insult "Eastbound, ya got a DOT in the median looking for a victum" response "Screw that blueberry top , bacon cruising, doughnut eatin' dirtbag deisel bear, tell him to go hassle a REAL criminal" I dont say it serious , but it gets em

Hahaha!  Nice one.   Soon there after I pull out and turn on the lights and that same driver is saying "Yes sir, yes sir, hey uhhh could you let me get my log book caught up?"   Hey the feds pay me when I'm doing that stuff.  I do the real cops stuff when the feds aren't paying me.  However,  believe it or not I've picked up some "real criminals" that were driving truck! Whoda thunk?

Quoted: Quoted: "Truckers' clock, who wants it?" "Ya, I see you gotta big 'ol load there, flatbead".

 You ain't queer chucklehead.

Quoted: Quoted: So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph? Can you please diagram that. I read it three times and still don't understand it.

I've noted that you're a bit slow.

CO

Quoted: img48.imageshack.us/img48/4930/mytruck2px.jpg

You're Brown!?

You and your cohorts are my personal heroes. Y'all've brought me so many fun toys and fun toy food.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: "Truckers' clock, who wants it?" "Ya, I see you gotta big 'ol load there, flatbead".  You ain't queer chucklehead.

"I know I ain't queer, I just been in this truck a long time"

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: So are you guys all going to cut me off going 15 mph slower than I was just going so you can pass the rig in front of you going 55 mph while you pass going 56 mph? Can you please diagram that. I read it three times and still don't understand it. Yeah you know what? I just read it and it doesn't make any sense to me either and I wrote it. Here's what I was trying to describe. The other day I'm cruising down I-10 going about 70mph, then some jackass trucker changes lanes right into my lane going 56mph making me slam on my brakes so that he could pass the rig he was behind that's going 55 mph. So he needed to cut me off to go 56mph, because the other idiot trucker that was in front of him before he cut me off was going 55mph. Ok,that makes sense.Personally,I don't cut off cars like that,plus in MA trucks aren't allowed in the fast lane.Just keep in mind,we are cut off 100's of times a day by ignorant drivers that have no business on the road around other people. We try to stay in the slow lane,until we see some idiot on a cell phone trying to merge on the freeway going 40 MPH.Being as you have 3 seconds to make a decision,sometimes you have to move over to the middle lane to avoid the numbnuts merging.I always look at the driver and can see whether or not they are looking behind them,or they are just looking ahead not paying attention to what's behind them.During this 3 seconds,you have to determine what is the safest route. I ALWAYS choose moving over and slowing down the faster cars.It's much better than having the merger drive right into your wheels,therefore killing himself and causing a major accident. If people learned to pay attention and merge PROPERLY,the general population would have less problems with the way truckers drive.Granted the car carriers are insane,but that's another issue Personally,I use the "Pay it Forward" option.If,during my day a car gives me a break,I will give another car a break.IE: getting onto a crowded street.The frequency of "Pay it Forward" is about 1 time a week.People rarely give me breaks.

Now why ya gotta go there???We also go places NO big trucks go ,in traffic NO big truck should be in....ever actually been on the surface streets of CHI .?

Quoted: tinypic.com/a2em1u.jpg i1.tinypic.com/ohiyw3.jpg

'bout time you showed up slacker!

Heavy Duty wrecker driver here. Drivers take care of your trucks. Everybody else, when you see us on the side of the road hooking up a truck slow down and get over a lane. I burried a long time friend and coworker last December. Thats all I have to say about that.

Quoted: img48.imageshack.us/img48/4930/mytruck2px.jpg

Hi Buster Brown!!!! Now with Central Transport,where fragile is an Italian pasta company! Try doing LTL with a 53' with swing doors,gets old REAL quick,cheap assed bastards! If you drive an American car,chances are we delivered the parts. Have once driven 30 miles for a 25 lb skid,but it's GM so we gotta get it!

Quoted: Pfffft... I drive a ladder truck. See those red flashing lights and strobes in your rear view mirror? Hear those sirens and air horn?.... Best get the fuck out of my way cause I'm coming through.

I drive a 100ft Bronto, one cool piece of firefighting fun!

Quoted: img48.imageshack.us/img48/4930/mytruck2px.jpg

Oh you high paid mother fucker!

Cavvet is to, I learned this today, he's got a thread in team about trashing his truck with a
Pillow

Quoted: Hi Buster Brown!!!! Now with Central Transport,where fragile is an Italian pasta company! Try doing LTL with a 53' with swing doors,gets old REAL quick,cheap assed bastards! If you drive an American car,chances are we delivered the parts. Have once driven 30 miles for a 25 lb skid,but it's GM so we gotta get it!

You run city or terminal to terminal? If you get up near #244 give a yell, both the Term. Manger and dispatcher are gun nuts I run#244 to #376 everyday.

Quoted: Quoted: "Truckers' clock, who wants it?" WTF is this? Linkage?

Put two hands and a face on it... it's a "clock"

Quoted: Quoted: Hi Buster Brown!!!! Now with Central Transport,where fragile is an Italian pasta company! Try doing LTL with a 53' with swing doors,gets old REAL quick,cheap assed bastards! If you drive an American car,chances are we delivered the parts. Have once driven 30 miles for a 25 lb skid,but it's GM so we gotta get it! You run city or terminal to terminal? If you get up near #244 give a yell, both the Term. Manger and dispatcher are gun nuts I run#244 to #376 everyday.

Running city outta #405,used to run linehaul for Service Transport until ST pulled a cute CH 7. Waiting to run linehaul for CT,but until freight picks up,and we can keep enough city drivers,I'll be playing the city game. Sure would like to know which terminal is tearing up the CarQuest freight,I have OSD's # by memory and heart.