Quoted: This is a questionable situation. If you were to shoot automatically upon seeing him, you may get charged with Homicide. You need to be able to prove that you, or your family was in immenent danger. If he did not have the weapon pointed at you then you probably could not justify shooting. However, if you warned him, and he pointed the gun at you, you would most likely be justified in taking the shot. Although, you still need to be sure that there is nobody on the other side of that door that is going to be in your line of fire. I would practice with your family what to do in such a situation. Make sure they know to move out of the way of the door when you say a specific phrase or something. And practice it religiously. Its better that they have that ingrained, and they act upon instinct when they hear you say that phrase, or train with them to immediately put something in front of the door, and for them to get out of the way of the door. I would do something of that nature.
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No No, nobody will know if you shot when you first saw him or that he was pointing the gun at you, etc. It's not like there is a camera in your home that will be used for an "instant replay" to critique your decision.
It is dangerous to think too much in a self defense situation. If a stranger is in your home, and they have a weapon (I mean, gun, knife, baseball bat, etc.) then you should assume that they are there to do you bodily harm and should act accordingly. The last thing you need to do is to shout or give them a warning, hesitation means you are dead my friend. The only hesitation should be to identify your target, make sure it is not a family member, etc.
In this situation, you must shoot to defend yourself and your family. Forget about laws, procedures, etc. All that won't mean crap when you're bleeding out on the floor and the bad guy is having his way with your wife.
As far as the law is concerned, like it has been said many times, "better to be tried by twelve than carried by six" If you are threatened, then do the right thing and worry about the law later.
Some people have suggested shooting to wound, this is another bad idea. A shot to the leg can be just as deadly as a heart shot. They train police that you do not shoot unless you are in danger of loosing your life. Once that determination is made, you shoot to kill, because if you are not shooting to kill then you shouldn't be shooting to start with. It may sound cruel to some, but that's the way it is. We had a shooting where I live, a crazy guy with a knife in the middle of the street, the police tried to talk him down. He lunged at one of the cops with the knife, and they shot him (multiple times). Alot of people complained that it was "excessive force", but that's what you do when reduced to a kill or be killed situation. It was found to be justifiable homicide. If the cop had hesitated, he might have gotten his throat cut and not be here today.