Brilliant!

How many fucking times.....

Must Read

Hilarity ensues around post #6...

Scary.

Obviously never had a cat or dog

Funny...but not haha funny.

<read the CoC >

[nerd] I don't think that would work. [/nerd]

Porkchop, take that down.

BRILLANT!

He won't last long.

ok, now he can. Saved

This is why we can't have nice things.

Don't eve3n joke about that shit.....

Damn.

Wonder if it will be easier to get that poster to belief how barrells are really made than when I tried to convince my maintenance supervisor that the malfunction on the Sons of Guns episode involving having a regular buffer instead of a hydraulic buffer was fabricated.  I had that agruement after the episode aired during lunch.  He was convinced it was real, even after explaining that other full auto M16 and M4 used a traditional buffer.   He believed that it was because that "special" rifle was "tuned" to require the hydraulic buffer.

It's a lot of fun to unwrap from around the wheel of an MTVR.





Dude pulled an entire length while entering Ramadi. The tire was all wrapped up, and there were pickets up in the engine compartment.










 
 

Fuck that, just leave it there.

 

That about sums it up....

Something a lot of arfcommers need....

Yup

Fucking Halarious!

Right Click, Save As.....This will be great for my NCO's to use on cadets.....

Buddy of mine made it when pictures of a female officer on our ship leaked out. He got 45/45, 1/2 months pay x2, and reduction from E-5 to E-4. Worth it. She was a raging bitch.

I always come in after the fun...

I'm the lame side-kick..."what'd I miss?  WHAT'D I MISS??!?!"

Totally worth it

Time Crisis FTW

10 pages of win
http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1455434_.html

A spool of commo wire is capable of stopping an M1(IP) dead in its tracks.  Ask me how I know.

to hell with unwrap, welding gloves and an angle grinder or bolt cutters.

You spelled "cutting torch" wrong.

It'sa re-tread of a story from 10 years ago via email, but, still worth a belly laugh.


Roping A Deer Story-Very Funny
Friend | Unknown | Unknown
Posted on Thursday, November 19, 2009 7:28:48 PM by 1776 Reborn

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it
.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer -- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.


TRG

Double Falcon Punch!!!

when I saw that wall of text I immediately though better nate than lever

"Ain't nothing wrong with his Lube Oil Pressure" on the bus in Bahrain. HA! At least I treated him good on his extra duty, sometimes DMAA sucked but between him and Smitty it wasn't that bad.

Yeah, we (and by 'we' I mean my team mechanic while I took the picture) cut as much off as possible with bolt cutters. It was about 75% unfucked when the battalion the truck belonged to sent some dudes out the ECP, and we told it was their problem & left.



I was escorting them through the blacked out ECP while the rest of the team stayed on Mobile. Dipshit behind me radios "I think I hit some wire" and by the time I got out to check on him he had backed the entire truck  into a ditch taking the wire with him.



 

His mast case.... I had the HARDEST time not laughing my ass off when the CO said "you made a video, referencing a Junior Officer as a Ho 17 times"

I was almost certain he was going to be pissed at me for having to testify against him, but he was cool with it and said "it was worth it"

LOOOOOOOL ooooh my fucking God



 

You should have mentored him about how to cover his trail better.



 

Thats great!

Have we resorted to quoting long posts now?

Stop it.

TRG