Looks like my supervisor before his AM coffee.

UMmmmm! you're going to hell!

Slimer Boo Boo

HeliCOPTER!, HeliCOPTER!!





 

What is that, CrossFit?

Close.  It's CrossFat.

Check out the BOTD CF thread to see what CF looks like

 

What does a women do, washing the window... (Rodney Carrington)

Pete the Dancing Spider

AAGGHH!! Fuckballscockface!!Kilikillitkillit!!

No, you lose, badly.  Please find a tall building and see if you can fly.......



 

 

Naming a spider Pete is almost as bad as naming a cat Erick.  

Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.



The only spider I have is named Elvira.





 

Thanks for the trivia.  I try to make a habit of forgetting my kids' names to make room for stuff like that.  

My sister had a rose-hair named Ramona.  Remind me to tell you a story about her someday.  

Ramona......not my sister.

I want to know more about the hairy rose....





 

Hairy Rose sounds like a stage name for niche porn.

I don't know why, but I hadn't considered the extent of the possibilities.



(You can cure a lot of problems with good sticky duct tape.)



 

Chocolate Starfish is so passe`.

TRG

 

Ok, but if I get bitched at for taking up posts in this thread I'm blaming you.

I was about 14 and my sister came home for a visit and brought Ramona.  I've always liked and been fascinated by pretty much anything that walked, crawled, slithered or swam so I was pumped.  But as far as HOLDING spiders goes, the most I'd done was routinely pull apart the egg sacs I'd find and watch the babies run around on my hands. I'd never actually held a full grown spider, much less a hairy one that took up all the available space in my palm but I was born with an iron will and something to prove so I wasn't about to puss out over this.  

My sister took Ramona out of her cage and set her in my hand.  There's something disturbing about a spider that has heft.  I'm just saying.  Ramona, being in unfamiliar surroundings, also stood there eyeballing me with her 2 front legs kind of lifted and poised for.......something.  I know it was either fight or flight for her but, frankly, both of those options had the potential to scar me for life so I was uneasy.  As we tried to get used to each other, I concentrated *really* hard on being perfectly still so that I wouldn't freak her out and cause her to do anything at least one of us would regret.

As luck would have it, the tension from trying to stay motionless built up and somehow chose my pinky finger as its route of escape.  That finger (which happened to be about a half inch under Ramona's bulbous abdomen) twitched, jerked against her ass end and before I knew what happened, she RAN at my face.    Ok, she actually just scrambled halfway up my arm but, in the heat of the moment, all I saw was offended and enraged spider coming at me.  My sister scooped her up, had a good laugh at my expense and I went to my room to sulk for a bit.

A couple of days later my sister and my mom went shopping so I was left alone in the house.  With Ramona.  I couldn't accept that I, as an animal lover or as someone who took pride in never being (or at least never acting ) afraid of anything, was nervous around this PET.  My sister lounged with her all the time and one of Ramona's favorite spots was nestled in her hair up on her shoulder.  That doesn't sound like something a person would do with a dangerous, scary spider.  It didn't make sense and I was having none of it.  So I'd just push through it until Ramona and I were best buds and holding hands as we skipped through fields of daisies.  That's just how it had to be.  

I went into the guest room, got down eye to multiple eyes with her and laid down the law.  I wasn't going to scare her and she wasn't going to scare me and once I felt I'd been clear enough and gotten the message through to her, I took her out of the cage.  Now, I can't say for SURE that she was a little more antsy this time around considering I'd pretty much felt her up on our last encounter, but it sure felt that way to me.  She was a bit more.....active this go-round but her movements were slower and more controlled and I tried to match that with my movements (and breathing ).  

After a few minutes I decided we were at least acquaintances by now so I should take it to the next level.  I sat down with Ramona and a good book.  I took a leap and placed her on my shoulder like I'd seen my sister do.  Now, wingnutx (99% sure it was) and I have discussed in passing before how the world around us goes away when we crack open a book.  The house could probably burn down around me and you'd find me in a chair, burned to a crisp because my mind and my spirit was in Icewind Dale or Milliway's or Castle Rock.  So I have no idea how long it was that I sat there reading when I noticed I had to pee.  

Here is where my memory gets fuzzy.  Part of me remembers getting straight up and going to the bathroom, thoughts far removed from Ramona or even the knowledge that I'd had her on my shoulder.  There's another part though that seems to remember getting up to go to the bathroom, remembering Ramona, not being able to find her and panicking wondering how I was going to tell my sister.  I'm not sure why there's the discrepancy other than the shock of what happened next causing a kind of amnesia concerning the details of the preceding few minutes.  

At any rate, I DO know that my brain was not at all prepared to see a HUGEASS spider on my back when I flipped on the bathroom light and caught sight of it as I turned to shut the door.    Whether that was from completely forgetting about her due to the book or from my mind racing trying to find any way in which I could spin losing her into a good thing, I have no idea.  But unexpectedly seeing a hand-sized spider on your back is a bad deal most any time and having a full bladder as well isn't doing anybody any favors.  

Sadly, Ramona was killed a few months later when someone's kid dropped her.  We never did get around to skipping through daisies.  

And just so nobody (hopefully) calls for my lynching for typing out all that shit in a funny picture thread:

No and no.

Wonder what was going through this guy's mind.  "oh no, gorilla rape!"

Do they have one for living with a small penis?..................................... I'm asking for a friend!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enOHraf3LEk

dont know how to embed

If you ask therex here, he can help you.  http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1094476_U_Laugh_U_Lose__take_a_half_day_edtion__.html&page=457#i37265340

 

I too had a pet tarantula. I named him Fang. Fang and I used to go for long walks in the neighborhood, him perched upon my shoulder. We were inseperable.

I had the most curious experience while introducing him to my sister. I walked up to her with Fang in a glass jar and held it out to her. 12" from her face.

Boys and girls, can you spell a-r-a-c-h-n-a-p-h-o-b-i-a?

I'd never experienced levitation before. Sister was out of her chair and across the room in about .75 seconds, having collided with the ceiling, the piano and C. She sat sobbing at the far end of the living room for a week, cursing my very existence. This was curious, as  Sister is usually very sweet and accommodating.