Quoted:
Rime of Ancient Dutchman

It's an ancient Dutchman
And he posts on page thirteen near
- "By thy wooden clogs and glittering eye,
Now wherefore post thou here?

The thread of Anthrocon is open wide
And we are next to post
The suits are sewn, pics are shown
Join us the furry host

he holds them with feather-covered hand
"there was a barrack in Denmark" quoth he
"Hold off! unhand us, you mustachioed loon"
Then spake The Penguin, "this I gotta see"

He holds them with his keyboard clicks
Arfcom all stood still,
And listen like tier-three n00bs
The Dutchman hath his will

Arfcomers sat by screens
They cannot choose but read
And thus posts that red-jacketed man
The Dutchman doth his deed

Swingset doth declare
merrily did he wrap
duct tape on birds, below the bill
so that they won't pop

Thusly the Dutchman quoted this text
Speaking of fowl sex
And pass on this ancient knowledge
with Arfcom on the edge

Once upon a barrack dreary, a farm boy pondered hot and heavy
Over many a carnal loves for domestic fowls

soooo....

Just sit right back
and you will hear a tale
a tale of bestiality

If you desire to
violate a goose
or drake in its cavity

Place its neck in
a dresser drawer
as you perform depravity

Slam it shut
as you reach the peak
and enjoy the ecstasy

Arfcommers did beat their breast
Yet what read cannot be unread
And thus spake that fateful day
what the ancient Dutchman said

Bleach bleach everywhere
our eyes still feel the sting
Bleach bleach everywhere
Nor our minds to clean

And every post, through utter shock
Was withered like dried curds;
We could not type, no more than if
we had been choking birds

Away said we, with evil grins
all members old and young
Instead of fur, the dying bird
About his name was hung.

Alone, alone all, all alone
Alone on an Arfcom board
A forum filled with dresser jokes
And goose videos galore

They BTT, they plus-one, they all reposted
The thread became a legend in their eyes
It had been strange, even in a dream
Until archived no longer this thread rise.

Farewell, farewell, but this I tell
To thee, members and guests
My job is done, you lovers of
Both man and bird and beasts

Arfcom went like one that hath been stunned,
and is of sense of forlorn
gather we for goose and dresser
group buy morrow morn

––––

     

Quoted:
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