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Posted: 4/26/2015 3:23:04 AM EDT
[#1]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 3:35:40 AM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 4:34:30 AM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:22:03 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote History 
OK. That one made me guffaw and snort out loud like a little girl. You owe me computer screen. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 1:29:57 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryIf you've ever seen a movie called "Adventures of Power," this is freakin' AWESOME! 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 1:53:34 PM EDT
[#7]
Saw this in the Wallyworld parking lot today:
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Posted: 4/26/2015 1:55:09 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Saw this in the Wallyworld parking lot today: |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 2:47:39 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 3:01:36 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 3:36:23 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
...but a bit sore. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 4:49:52 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 6:52:09 PM EDT
[#13]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:05:56 PM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:08:55 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That's OK, we'll rein it in. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By TheRedGoat She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:10:21 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, I'm just gonna hoof it out of this one. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Originally Posted By TheRedGoat
She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:27:49 PM EDT
[#17]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:41:28 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dishwasers? WTF is a dishwaser? Quote HistoryHey, man, I was just sharing it. I was too busy looking at other things to pay attention to the author's spelling.  .
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Posted: 4/26/2015 7:53:54 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That's one cause I'm NOT getting behind... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Saw this in the Wallyworld parking lot today: http://i1228.photobucket.com/albums/ee459/bssrf4/20150426_102849_zps42qrki9j.jpg  |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:00:22 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG Clap clap |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:10:16 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Clap clap Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG Clap clap Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends.
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:33:06 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. 
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:34:58 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:39:56 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG That is awesome! |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 9:56:16 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, some people can be so gullible. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... |
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Posted: 4/26/2015 10:23:53 PM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 4/26/2015 11:56:28 PM EDT
[#27]
The Shroud of Turning
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Posted: 4/27/2015 1:45:57 AM EDT
[#28]
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964.
All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. 
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Posted: 4/27/2015 1:52:49 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 2:00:21 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... Well duh, you have to be underwater to hear the Puget Sound, everyone knows that. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 2:52:45 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. 
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Posted: 4/27/2015 3:00:04 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was laughing my ass off until I found the video on YouTube and realized its from a movie  Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was laughing my ass off until I found the video on YouTube and realized its from a movie I do know a guy that did that in a Learjet. Maintenance had to cut him out of the plane. 
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Posted: 4/27/2015 5:02:57 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_time |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:27:18 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. Toilet Paper Shortage It wasn't just Johnny Carson! |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:34:31 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote History[Jump To Reply]Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By TheRedGoat She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. Yeah, I'm just gonna hoof it out of this one. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further Neigh, let's keep it alive. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:36:44 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:38:11 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well it colt have been much worse. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:45:06 AM EDT
[#38]
[Jump To Reply]Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:46:41 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Quote HistoryQuoted:
[Jump To Reply]Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 7:56:46 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. 
1/100th stop watch, common in some motorsports. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 8:56:18 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
[Jump To Reply]Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:40:21 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
+1 Quote HistoryAs if you would be able to stop it. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 9:54:05 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
[url=http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/]Toilet Paper Shortage[/url] It wasn't just Johnny Carson! Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. [url=http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/]Toilet Paper Shortage[/url] It wasn't just Johnny Carson! Sounds like the .22 ammo shortage, doesn't it? |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:00:28 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 10:10:53 AM EDT
[#45]
I think I'm gonna just hoof it on out of here after that comment
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Posted: 4/27/2015 11:02:15 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 11:08:16 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I convinced my roommate at FTCKY that partial time zones existed. "You actually think you can cross some imaginary line and the time magically changes 1 hour? No bro, it goes in ten minute increments as you get closer to the line" There are a bunch of :30 and one :45 time zone.
http://www.timeanddate.com/time/time-zones-interesting.html |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 11:42:05 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 11:55:40 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. Whoa Nellie! |
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Posted: 4/27/2015 12:14:10 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryIn the cinematic masterpiece, AVP: Aliens vs Predator, it is determined that Predators run on metric time. 
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