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View Quote OK. That one made me guffaw and snort out loud like a little girl. You owe me computer screen. |
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View Quote If you've ever seen a movie called "Adventures of Power," this is freakin' AWESOME! |
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Quoted: Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG View Quote |
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She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. |
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The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By TheRedGoat She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. |
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Yeah, I'm just gonna hoof it out of this one. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Originally Posted By TheRedGoat
She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. |
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Hey, man, I was just sharing it. I was too busy looking at other things to pay attention to the author's spelling.. |
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Quoted: That's one cause I'm NOT getting behind... View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Saw this in the Wallyworld parking lot today: http://i1228.photobucket.com/albums/ee459/bssrf4/20150426_102849_zps42qrki9j.jpg |
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Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG View Quote Clap clap |
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Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG Clap clap Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. |
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Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. View Quote I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. |
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I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. |
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Quick story ... So, yesterday my parents came to visit their 5 month old grandson. While the kid is napping, my mother (who likes to point out things we need to do as new parents) noticed that we did not have a 'jumper' for the kid. She began telling me why we needed one and why we should already have one and why they are sooo important for the kid. Two days prior, I had already ordered one from Amazon Prime, but, didn't wanna argue. She likes to talk and means well. 15 minutes later, FedEx arrived. Yup. It's the jumper. I walk out to meet the FedEx and walk back in holding the jumper. I asked mom, "Hey, have you guys tried Amazon Prime? Did you know they have now upgraded to Amazon Instant? Order anything you want and they deliver in 15 minutes..." I explained that Amazon now has trucks roaming the country with popular products on board, if you order something they have ... then they just swing by and drop it off. Mom was amazed. TRG View Quote That is awesome! |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... |
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My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964.
All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. |
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My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. View Quote I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. |
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Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Sometimes the quips don't end so well. I was living in New Jersey when I married my first wife. She was from southern California. One day toward the end of winter we're walking along and I pointed out a robin. She said, "So what, it's a robin. What's the big deal?" I told her it was a sign that spring was coming. That led to her asking the next logical question: "Where do they go in the winter?" I figured everybody knew about seasonal bird migration, so I said, "They go down into rabbit burrows, and the rabbits bring them food all winter." She replied, "Wow - isn't nature wonderful?" Honestly guys, the last thing I ever expected was for someone with a high school diploma to believe something so ridiculous. I instantly realized I had painted myself into a corner and deftly changed the subject. All was well for a couple days until she explained this marvel of nature to one of her friends. I once told my wife about the existence of the grits tree, and how farmers would harvest grits by placing a large tarp under it and shaking individual grits loose. Yeah, some people can be so gullible. Once we got stationed up at NAS Whidbey, my now ex-wife was trying to hear the Puget Sound... ... What can I say.... she's a blonde... .... I did offer to take her to Pike Place market, just to see the flying fish... Well duh, you have to be underwater to hear the Puget Sound, everyone knows that. |
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I was laughing my ass off until I found the video on YouTube and realized its from a movie View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
I was laughing my ass off until I found the video on YouTube and realized its from a movie I do know a guy that did that in a Learjet. Maintenance had to cut him out of the plane. |
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I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_time |
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My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. View Quote Toilet Paper Shortage It wasn't just Johnny Carson! |
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[Jump To Reply]Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By TheRedGoat She's in stable condition. TRG ...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. Yeah, I'm just gonna hoof it out of this one. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further View Quote Neigh, let's keep it alive. |
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I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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...but a bit sore. The poor ladies pride is hurt, but you don't have to saddle her with these bad jokes. That's OK, we'll rein it in. I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. |
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[Jump To Reply]Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. View Quote Not as long as we remember the mane theme. |
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Not as long as we remember the mane theme. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers |
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[Jump To Reply]Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers View Quote We all get a good horselaugh out of it. |
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As if you would be able to stop it. |
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[url=http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/]Toilet Paper Shortage[/url] It wasn't just Johnny Carson! View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. [url=http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/]Toilet Paper Shortage[/url] It wasn't just Johnny Carson! Sounds like the .22 ammo shortage, doesn't it? |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. View Quote Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? |
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I think I'm gonna just hoof it on out of here after that comment
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Quoted: I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: My best off the cuff explanation was The Great Velum Shortage starting in 1964. All of the designing from the space race was depleting the world's supply of velum. The only remaining source of velum trees was in Vietnam, which is why we went to war against the Soviets; to win the space race. Notice how once we landed on the moon, we got right out of Vietnam? My girlfriend, two of her friends and a roommate were spellbound by my elaborate, and detailed, lie. I had some girl convinced that there was such a thing as "metric time". 10 hours a day, 100 minutes to an hour. Its what they use in most of Europe, you know. |
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I convinced my roommate at FTCKY that partial time zones existed. "You actually think you can cross some imaginary line and the time magically changes 1 hour? No bro, it goes in ten minute increments as you get closer to the line" View Quote There are a bunch of :30 and one :45 time zone. http://www.timeanddate.com/time/time-zones-interesting.html |
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Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. |
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Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Originally Posted By proto_moos I was actually hoping to spur it on a bit further. Well it colt have been much worse. Sooner or later these puns will stall. Not as long as we remember the mane theme. Don't listen to the neighsayers We all get a good horselaugh out of it. Wait...That's it? You guys can't pony up a few more? Your attempt to stirrup more bad puns worked...I've been chomping at the bit to make one, myself. Whoa Nellie! |
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