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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:03:07 AM EDT
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:05:58 AM EDT
[#1]
LOL.
Seems like it would be easier to just act like a big rascist, or tell the judge you think you will do great on jury duty, because you can just look at a guy and know if he is guilty! |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:07:19 AM EDT
[#2]
"I believe the death penalty is grossly, negligently underutilized," works in a pinch.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:07:22 AM EDT
[#3]
Ha I go so much crap when I asked this in GD.
Thankfully they had selected enough jurors before they got to me. It was a rape case the judge said the defense alone would take 2 weeks to present. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:08:50 AM EDT
[#4]
I didn't want to be on my last jury duty either. During selection, I told them that I was a firm advocate of jury nullification, and would vote my conscience. I got jury duty anyway. It was a complete waste of time as well.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:09:02 AM EDT
[#5]
After being called twice and not being empaneled, I probably will never be called.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:10:52 AM EDT
[#6]
I fully understand the need to work as a legitimate reason to avoid/delay jury duty. And I fully appreciate the creative sentiment expressed in the above letter. However a lot of judges would not take kindly to said letter.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:12:54 AM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:14:15 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
I didn't want to be on my last jury duty either. During selection, I told them that I was a firm advocate of jury nullification, and would vote my conscience. I got jury duty anyway. It was a complete waste of time as well. I had something similiar happen to me. The last time I was summoned for jury duty I lucked out and was the first person to be voir dired. One of the questions they asked was if I could follow the judges instructions even if I personally disagreed with the law. I answered honestly. No. They didn't want me. This was a civil case by the way. I'm convinced lawyers do not want intelligent people with strong convictions on juries. They want spineless, easily manipulated morons on juries. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:15:23 AM EDT
[#9]
Fucking gay....
The justice system is only fucked up because good guys shirk out... Some guy could be hemmed up on a BS weapons charge. You (or whoever wrote the letter) are sitting at home, and Sally the Soccer mom who thinks all guns are icky is in your place. BTW yes I have served on a jury. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:16:29 AM EDT
[#10]
Got let off for a drug case a few years ago when the defense used a pre-emptory challenge on me. The exchange during vorie dire went roughly like this:
Defense Attorny: Mr Blackhawk101 do you have any personal feelings about drugs that could cause you to not be impartial? Me: Yes. DA: Can you tell me what these may be? Me: Well I believe in the Chinese method of dealing with drug offenses. DA: What would that be? Me: If you're caught dealing you should be forced to kneel, have a bullet put in your head, and then send the bill for the bullet to their family. I was excused shortly thereafter. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:18:49 AM EDT
[#11]
Jury duty is one of the lynchpins of our legal system. Like water, pretty necessary. Ignore at your peril.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:24:14 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
Got let off for a drug case a few years ago when the defense used a pre-emptory challenge on me. The exchange during vorie dire went roughly like this: Defense Attorny: Mr Blackhawk101 do you have any personal feelings about drugs that could cause you to not be impartial? Me: Yes. DA: Can you tell me what these may be? Me: Well I believe in the Chinese method of dealing with drug offenses. DA: What would that be? Me: If you're caught dealing you should be forced to kneel, have a bullet put in your head, and then send the bill for the bullet to their family. I was excused shortly thereafter. I would have said the opposite. Drug enforcement is nothing more than CONTROL over the people. I do not believe in the War on Drugs, and resent the government for dictating what people can do with their lives. Would that also get me sent home? |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:25:04 AM EDT
[#13]
Quoted: Got let off for a drug case a few years ago when the defense used a pre-emptory challenge on me. The exchange during vorie dire went roughly like this: Defense Attorny: Mr Blackhawk101 do you have any personal feelings about drugs that could cause you to not be impartial? Me: Yes. DA: Can you tell me what these may be? Me: Well I believe in the Chinese method of dealing with drug offenses. DA: What would that be? Me: If you're caught dealing you should be forced to kneel, have a bullet put in your head, and then send the bill for the bullet to their family. I was excused shortly thereafter. Honesty works. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:26:33 AM EDT
[#14]
I remember some guy I know through a friend saying he told the judge, a black guy, (black guy on trial) that he hated a certain race of people. It is not really the case (him being racist) he just really didn't want to make the drive for jury duty. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:27:28 AM EDT
[#15]
" I would make a great juror because I can spot a guilty person just like that.....I also am strongly in favor of the death penalty"
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:28:50 AM EDT
[#16]
You could always just ask about "Jury Nullification."
That is usually a quick dismissal also. Jury Nullification |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:30:17 AM EDT
[#17]
APRIL 30––There are probably better ways to avoid jury duty than the approach recently taken by a Montana man. After Erik Slye, 36, received a jury notice earlier this year, he filed a notarized affidavit seeking to be excused from serving on a District Court panel in Gallatin County. Slye's caustic affidavit, which he prepared with help from his wife Jennifer, can be found below. The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury.
Surprised the judge didn't find him in contempt. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:33:15 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
Got let off for a drug case a few years ago when the defense used a pre-emptory challenge on me. The exchange during vorie dire went roughly like this: Defense Attorny: Mr Blackhawk101 do you have any personal feelings about drugs that could cause you to not be impartial? Me: Yes. DA: Can you tell me what these may be? Me: Well I believe in the Chinese method of dealing with drug offenses. DA: What would that be? Me: If you're caught dealing you should be forced to kneel, have a bullet put in your head, and then send the bill for the bullet to their family. I was excused shortly thereafter.  I'll drink to that! 
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:33:53 AM EDT
[#19]
According to the linked story, it worked, after a visit to the Judge and a lecture, and threats involving jail. I bet he never gets a jury another jury summons.
Here is are some better ways    to get out of serving on a jury. Be careful when trying to mix and match. 
Show up hung-over/drunk/or just smelling like a brewery. This one could go sideways on you, but the last time I was called for jury duty it got one guy an immediate pass to go home. 
If asked about your thoughts on L.E., respond "Cops testilie and everyone know they plant evidence." Wear You Favorite "Kill Whitey" t-shirt to court. If asked about the defendant, "Hell, if the cops arrested him, he must be guilty." Wear your old Anarchy t-shirt from high school. When asked if you support the death penalty say something like, "No I am opposed to the death penalty, the appeals take too long and the convict doesn't suffer enough when they are being executed." "Fucking lawyers, you are all nothing but a bunch of leaches, I HOPE YOU ALL GET COCK-ROT AND DIE, AND NO MOTHERFUCKER IT IS NOT A GOOD MORNING". Personally, I wouldn't try this one. "That defendant looks like one guilty motherfucker." If asked if you have ever seen/met/or have knowledge of the defendant replie, "Isn't the defendant the fucker who sell dope to Middle School kids?" While waiting to be interviewed ask the Bailiff, "Do cops really carry throw pieces and carry dope so they can plant it on people?" |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:34:32 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
You could always just ask about "Jury Nullification." That is usually a quick dismissal also. Jury Nullification I went one further and told them that I advocated jury nullification. I still got jury duty. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:45:22 AM EDT
[#21]
The last time I got called, I was sure I would be dismissed. The defense attorney asked if I had any bumper stickers on my car.
It went something like this: Attorney: Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? Me: I don't own a car. I have a truck though. Attorney: OK. Do you have bumper stickers on your truck? Me: Yes. Attorney: What do they say? Me: One is a bolt face logo from AR15.com, a internet forum dedicated to evil black rifles. The other says Molon Labe. Attorney: What is an evil black rifle? Me: Whatever rifle liberals decide they don't like today. Attorney: OK, what does Molon Labe mean?
Me: Essentially, "Go ahead, try to come and take it." Attorney: Come and take what? Me: My evil black rifles. Attorney: OK. Thank you.
I was sitting there pretty proud of myself and how they would never call me. Guess what, I got sat on the jury. After an 8 day trial, we found the guy not guilty of attempted murder. It was self defense when he hit the other guy in the head with a 4' piece of iron pipe. (It really was)
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:46:21 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
The last time I got called, I was sure I would be dismissed. The defense attorney asked if I had any bumper stickers on my car. It went something like this: Attorney: Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? Me: I don't own a car. I have a truck though. Attorney: OK. Do you have bumper stickers on your truck? Me: Yes. Attorney: What do they say? Me: One is a bolt face logo from AR15.com, a internet forum dedicated to evil black rifles. The other says Molon Labe. Attorney: What is an evil black rifle? Me: Whatever rifle liberals decide they don't like today. Attorney: OK, what does Molon Labe mean?
Me: Essentially, "Go ahead, try to come and take it." Attorney: Come and take what? Me: My evil black rifles. Attorney: OK. Thank you.
I was sitting there pretty proud of myself and how they would never call me. Guess what, I got sat on the jury. After an 8 day trial, we found the guy not guilty of attempted murder. It was self defense when he hit the other guy in the head with a 4' piece of iron pipe. (It really was)Excellent! |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:46:45 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
Quoted:
You could always just ask about "Jury Nullification." That is usually a quick dismissal also. Jury Nullification I went one further and told them that I advocated jury nullification. I still got jury duty. Wow, they must have been desperate for people. Until I read this thread I could have said that anyone I had ever heard of who even mentioned Jury Nullification got the boot. I wonder what the rest of the jury pool was like?
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:48:29 AM EDT
[#24]
Show up dressed like this;
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:49:35 AM EDT
[#25]
I had jury duty a few years ago.
I could not get time off work the day before. So I worked from 7pm to 7am, then showed up at the courthouse. I had to be back to work at 7pm, so I found a couch and racked out while they made selection and called peoples numbers. I told the court clerk what was going on, and asked for her to wake me up if I was needed. Well, I woke up a few hours later and a guy was standing over me. I have no clue what was going on, except my cornhole did not feel safe. It was a shitty 8 hours of sleep. a month later I got a check for $21.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:52:30 AM EDT
[#26]
I look at jury duty as one of the responsibilities that comes with enjoying a free society, just like being informed and voting responsibly. I believe that T. Roosevelt was right when he said that our nation is built on four boxes, the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box. Jury duty is a pain in the ass, but if we're to be judged by our peers, we need to have responsible peers who are willing to serve as a juror. If the only people who take on jury duty are douchebags who have nothing better to do, we're screwed.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:55:00 AM EDT
[#27]
I welcome jury duty! As a believer in jury nullification it gives me a chance to fuck over the court system. Also any dope possession or class 3 weapons charge without a victim will be found not guilty
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Posted: 4/30/2009 7:55:30 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
I had jury duty a few years ago. I could not get time off work the day before. So I worked from 7pm to 7am, then showed up at the courthouse. I had to be back to work at 7pm, so I found a couch and racked out while they made selection and called peoples numbers. I told the court clerk what was going on, and asked for her to wake me up if I was needed. Well, I woke up a few hours later and a guy was standing over me. I have no clue what was going on, except my cornhole did not feel safe. It was a shitty 8 hours of sleep. a month later I got a check for $21. Dang, your not only easy, your cheap....... |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:00:29 AM EDT
[#29]
I got dismissed from a med mal suit because I went on a rant against frivolous medical lawsuits, how a bunch of my friends were doctors, and the need for tort reform.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:01:04 AM EDT
[#30]
Jury duty pays $14.00 per day here ($9.00 per half day). There is no free parking around the courthouse, I think it's $7.00 per day to park. Lunch is not included but Coffee and beverages are provided.
I've never been called but a friend has, he never cashed his $28.00 check because he framed it. I would be happy to do my share but I can understand if someone can't make it because of a job. Imagine getting stuck on an OJ style case where your sequestered for 6 months. -JTP |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:03:36 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
I fully understand the need to work as a legitimate reason to avoid/delay jury duty. And I fully appreciate the creative sentiment expressed in the above letter. However a lot of judges would not take kindly to said letter. There's a Federal judge here that would have you in the lock up while you reconsidered whether to sit through voir dire. He's mean enough to leave you there for the duration of the trial, too. I hear if you carry a new rope to voir dire that you'll probably be dismissed, but the bailiffs here aren't too accomodating about carrying one past the metal detector. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:04:35 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
I welcome jury duty! As a believer in jury nullification it gives me a chance to fuck over the court system. Also any dope possession or class 3 weapons charge without a victim will be found not guilty More like a hung jury, but hey you got to start Hope&Change somewhere. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:14:07 AM EDT
[#33]
Usually my LE background gets me disqualified with amazing speed. No defense attorney wants a cop on their jury, and I don't particularly blame them. Otherwise, I pull the "ER doctor" card and advise them that I can't get time off of work, as the ER never closes.
The only time I was almost chosen was in my mid-twenties. Myself and about five other people were bumped by peremptory challenge. The curious thing about it was that we were all at least college educated, and/or business people, and four of us six had advanced degrees (two masters and two doctorates). To this day, that strikes me as odd. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:16:05 AM EDT
[#34]
I've only been called for jury duty once, in college...which is a valid way to get out of it. Nowadays if I got called, I'd have to inform them of my desire for more vigilante justice, more frequent jury nullification, and the right of victim's families to punish criminals themselves. I doubt I'll ever make it onto a jury.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:18:07 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
LOL. Seems like it would be easier to just act like a big rascist, or tell the judge you think you will do great on jury duty, because you can just look at a guy and know if he is guilty! my thoughts exactly. i kinda see it as something citizens are responsible for, yet if you cant make it or dont want to just explain that you have a clan meeting on that date then a hitler celebration, but if they would like to reschedule it then that would work fine as long as it dosent fall on the celebration day of some black guy's death they should get the idea.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:19:36 AM EDT
[#36]
I've only been called once. Got tossed out by the prosecutor. Apparently he didn't like it when I pointed out that one of his arguments was wrong. Wheeeee.
But I recently sent back in the federal juror sheet. No idea if I'll get called for that. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:20:32 AM EDT
[#37]
Nothing like a celebration of shirking civic duty. Huzzah!
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:21:28 AM EDT
[#38]
People who actively seek to shirk their public duty disgust me.
Edit: Beat to the "shirk" by (many) seconds. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:25:52 AM EDT
[#39]
I know some Judges who would absolutely find that guy in contempt, and sentence him to jail, probably for the exact amount of time the trial takes had he sat on the jury.
If this guy is ever taken to Court and he needs a good jury to help him out, I hope he remembers this affidavit. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:26:27 AM EDT
[#40]
I was on a jury once, it was an uplifting life experience––the ability of a few 'mem' to decide the fate of a single person accused of a crime.
If you ever considered your fate in front of a jury, would you want people with the attitudes shown on AR15.cm to be empanneled or not? |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:27:08 AM EDT
[#41]
In the state of TX, the law is that work, no matter your financial situation, is not an excuse from jury duty. They don't give a fuck if missing a day of work will cost you your house, car, job, whatever. Great law huh?
I've been called for jury duty several times now. Every time they pick the dumbest, most easily manipulated people from the crowd. It's a total waste of time for anyone with a functional brain. The next to last last jury summons I got, I just threw in the trash. I'll probably do the same with the last one I got. Fuck 'em, I'm tired of having my time wasted. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:27:51 AM EDT
[#42]
Welcome to Montana LOL.
Oh and I was going to say the best way to get out of jury duty: Just tell them you are a member of this forum. (appearently that doesn't work)
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:28:19 AM EDT
[#43]
Making up excuses to dodge jury duty places you firmly in the dirtbag category.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:28:31 AM EDT
[#44]
You can't complain about the justice system and refuse to do your part to help improve it. Everyone has three great reasons why they don't want to serve on jury duty. If informed, quality citizens refuse to be part of our system of justice - them they have no right to complain about how our government and justice system works (or doesn't). Those who show up to participate have a say. Those who whine about how things are are destined to have no voice, no say and no effect on where our world goes.
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:32:04 AM EDT
[#45]
If I am ever the defendant at a jury trial I expect the jury to the be all white male gun owners with technical college degrees and firm beliefs in the constitution.
After all those would be my peers. I have so far never been called up for jurty duty. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:39:16 AM EDT
[#46]
Quoted: If I am ever the defendant at a jury trial I expect the jury to the be all white male gun owners with technical college degrees and firm beliefs in the constitution. Setting such expectations is sure to bring disappointment. Quoted: In the state of TX, the law is that work, no matter your financial situation, is not an excuse from jury duty. They don't give a fuck if missing a day of work will cost you your house, car, job, whatever. Great law huh? Same here. Even the shitty state of Illinois protects your job, however. Texas must suck serious ass. Legally, you are protected against employer harassment or from being fired for responding to jury service; however, you must notify your employer in advance that you received the summons. In addition, an employer cannot require a night shift worker to work while such employee is doing jury duty in the daytime |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:46:07 AM EDT
[#47]
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Posted: 4/30/2009 8:56:05 AM EDT
[#48]
Yay! Let's make sure conservative poeple with brains never have to sit on juries!
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Posted: 4/30/2009 9:00:14 AM EDT
[#49]
I got a jury summons once, they tossed me out because I moved to the next county a few months before.
I have no problems sitting on a jury, if I were a defendant, I would want honest, thinking men and women that work for a living on my jury. |
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Posted: 4/30/2009 9:03:55 AM EDT
[#50]
Quoted:
Fucking gay.... The justice system is only fucked up because good guys shirk out... Some guy could be hemmed up on a BS weapons charge. You (or whoever wrote the letter) are sitting at home, and Sally the Soccer mom who thinks all guns are icky is in your place. BTW yes I have served on a jury. This! Is the reason i would serve if they ever called me. It would be worth going through a hundred times for that one guy that needs to walk
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