My brain is dead, I'll add some good ones in a bit.

Thanks!

It's God's job to forgive Osama Bin.

It's our job to arrange the meeting.

(U.S. Marine Corps)

" Out of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most "

Ozzy Osborne

"Stuff me, I'm a dog's testicle."

For sure it is an evil spite, and breaking to the heart,
For Irishmen to watch a fight and not be taking part. -Robert Service

If it was nearer
to Christmas, I would have you notice the mistletoe hanging from my
shirtail.

The Spartans do not ask the number of the enemy, only where they are.
|                           Agix of Sparta

Kill my boss!?  Do I dare live out the American dream?"
- Homer Simpson

He who controls the sword controls the pen....T.J.


I have a bunch more at home - I'd like to write one of those books like, "All I ever learned in Kindergarten..."  

"No matter where you go, there you are". Buckaroo Bonzai, in "The adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai"

 "It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
 And from Murphy's Laws of Combat..
 "Friendly fire...isn't."
 "Incoming fire has the right-of-way."
 "Only accurate rifles are interesting." Townsend Whelen.

"If you're going to be stupid, you've got to be tough"

No prep in the LZ...only friendly's in the AO

Told me by a foreign student 5 minutes ago:

"You are like the American CIA, (Erasmus), naive and innocent."

Still shaking my head over that one.  This was his explanation to me about why I didn't buy all his wild conspiracy theories 'bout the assasination of John Lennon. (The Japanese secret service did it in revenge 'cause J.L. dissed Yoko.) [whacko]

Don't be humble---you're not that great.---Golda Meir

I bomb, therefore I am.---Phillip Slater

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.---Albert Einstein

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.---Robert Frost

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.---George Bernard Shaw.

The thing I like best about travel is making new friends and seeing new places --

Genghis Khan

[b]"Life's only worth living if you live for something worthy"[/b] - Lethal

[b]"Respect is earned, Courage is learned, but Honor is proven" - Lethal

Lethal
________________________________________________
"Made in America"
[USA]

Don't ever fuck a fucker.

" Wherever you find three or four Irish, you're bound to find a fifth."

"Ignorance of the law is 9/10 of possession."
Unknown

and my fave...

"I guess they'd rather be alive than free... poor dumb bastards."
"Eight Ball" from the movie Full Metal Jacket

Gravity, not just a good idea,,,its the law

"5 days but im mad now!"

"If it's got tits or tires, It's gonna cost you a lot of money."

Money cant buy love, but you can rent it by the hour.
Me
ARH

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
- Frank Lloyd Wright

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."
- Homer Simpson

"I never drink water, fish fornicate in it.
- W. C. Fields

Luck
Alac

"Retreat [i]Hell[/i]! We[i]just[/i] got here!"
-Capt. Lloyd Williams, USMC

[i]"They are trying to isolate Kandahar, we are trying to stop bad guys from getting out and make the trip from Kandahar to paradise a short one.[/i] And they will stop any reinforcements — equipment, supplies, manpower."

--U.S. Marine

"Nuts!"

"He took my gun apart with one deft move, how did he do that?"- Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 4, maybe if Hollywood knew that cops clean their own guns, then he would know about the Beretta's take down lever.  Just thought that was funny.

"Somebody put orange juice in my orange juice!"

Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance.  Ralph Waldo Emerson?

you cannot kill a dead cow with field points.

[url]http://www.bowsite.com/stickbow/tf/thread.cfm?threadid=28362&messages=237&forum=23[/url]

Funny:

"Have you noticed how much they look like orchids?  Lovely!" Robert Anson Heinlein

Noble:

"It is the invariable habit of bureaucracies, at all times and everywhere, to assume ... that every citizen is a criminal. Their one apparent purpose, pursued with a relentless and furious diligence, is to convert the assumption into a fact. They hunt endlessly for proofs, and, when proofs are lacking, for mere suspicions. The moment they become aware of a definite citizen, John Doe, seeking what is his right under the law, they begin searching feverishly for an excuse for withholding it from him."
- H.L. Mencken

And here's one I haven't seen too many places:

"The ruling class doesn't care about public safety. Having made it very difficult for States and localities to police themselves, having left ordinary citizens with no choice but to protect themselves as best they can, they now try to take our guns away. In fact they blame us and our guns for crime. This is so wrong that it cannot be an honest mistake."
- former U.S. Sen. Malcolm Wallop (R-Wy.)

"I drank what?" -Socrates

"Oy, shee-it!" - Gene Wilder from "The Cisco Kid"

"Somebody threw-out a perfectly good white boy" -Men at Work

Anybody remember some lines from Kelly's Heros?  Guess its time to pull out the DVD.

Groucho Marx in "Animal Crackers"

[url]http://localsonly.wilmington.net/~solomon/clinteastwood/oneliners.html[/url]

For all those who don't read url, those are one liners from Clint Eastwood.

Overheard at a fun range "That gun will kill you SO BAAAAD." Don't remember what gun they were talking about, but it struck me as kinda funny.

"You know the best part about having an asian girlfriend?  Getting to eat sushi whenever I want!"  --oblivious coworker talking about dinner....
"Yeah, we went out to mexican last night.  She had a steak burrito, and I had fish tacos.  Man, I am a fish taco FIEND!"  --same oblivious coworker, two days later.

"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority. It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made
to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They
promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters."
                                            Daniel Webster

"I never let my schooling interfere with my education." --Mark Twain

"Goddamn it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me!" --Captain Henry P."Jim" Crowe, USMC, Guadalacanal, 13 January 1943

"Come on, you sons of bitches - do you want to live forever"
(Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly, USMC, Belleau Wood, June 1918)

"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
(Colonel David M. Shoup, USMC, Tarawa, 21 November 1943.)

Heaven for the weather, Hell for the company.

--Mark Twain

It's a hardball world son, so let's try and keep our heads until this 'peace' thing blows over.

"i should give her a good" shows options menu" ignore, get mad, kill" I should give her a good killing!!' "game over bad ending"

"Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force! Like fire,
it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."
--George Washington


"Law always chooses sides on the basis of enforcement power. Morality and legal niceties have little to do with it when the real question is: Who has the clout?"
--Frank Herbert


I have is more convincing than I can.
--Ed Parker


How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door your on!
--just4laughs

"It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" -- don't know who it came from, so I'll say it's mine LOL

never let the probability of success determine your actions.

although i'm sure someone has said something to the same effect (and probably much more eloquently than i), i am claiming this version as mine because i'm tired of hearing "that's just the way it is" (when i question injustices) and "you can't change anything, so why bother?" when i take a little action to make some much needed changes.

"The only thing worse than a politician is a child molester."
"The only time Border Patrol wins hot pursuit is when they're chasing p***y."
Rip Torn's(?) character in Extreme Prejudice.

"keep your dick and your wallet in your pants"<<

"Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

" Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel."

How can you shoot women and children?
     It' easy just dont lead them as much
 FMJ
[50]

Your job is not to die for your country, your job is to make some other poor bastard die for his country.
 --Patton
[sniper]

If it bleeds we can kill it
   Predator
[heavy]

beware...post flood....

" Will somebody please get that naked, bleeding, drunk guy with the dart in his head out of here!? I'm playing pool for my life!"
- Mark Pitely (don't ask)

"Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab. Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab. Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab. Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab. And, most importantly, don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department."
- Bill Lye

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- from PS Magazine (the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance)

"How fast should I drive?"
"Just go with traffic."
"Well, what if I get nailed from the rear?"
"...More power to you!"
- Heather & George

"Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to
smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams."
               - Mary Ellen Kelly

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be
when you kill them."
               - William Clayton

"If elected, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of you and burn
your town to cinders."
               - Rafi Berkson

"'THE PENIS! MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!' No... wait... that's '*PEN* *IS*....'"
     - Charles Shields

"There's more than one way to skin a cat:
Way number 27--Use an electric sander."
               - John T. Chapman

"That's a six-four-three play if you're scoring at home, or even if you're not getting any."
          - Keith Obermann, ESPN Sportscenter

"The big drama of watching the Dream Team is wondering when they will start dunking the ball  backward, with 360-degree spins and reverse helicopter jams. The Russians cheated in 1972 and as payback we will crush the world for all eternity."
- Joel Achenbach, in The Washington Post

"It turns out you CAN beat a great pair of Legg's."
 - Ken McFarlane of the Penn Band, after the Nancy Kerrigan incident

"Brings back ol memories of being lost in the deep woods of rural germany in a drunken stupor with nothing to piss on but an electric fence."
               - Adam Weishapt (alias)

If the best we can do for 'T' is 'Titfucking'... I quit."
       - M. Pitely, playing the Alphabet Game

"Son, all the beautiful, intelligent, healthy young women are taken.  It's a basic law of the universe, and if you don't like it, go somewhere else."
               - Ken Johnson's dad, 1906-1992

"Well, dinner would have been splendid... if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the
fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess."
               - Winston S. Churchill

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".  Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your
mistress."

"Nobody's perfect.  There was one guy - but we killed him."
               - anon.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggy...' until you can find a rock."
               - anon.

"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape
to make them stop."
               - G. Weilacher

"If you can't fix it, duck it. If you can't duck it, fuck it."
               - Traditional

"The only things we can't weld are the crack of dawn and a broken heart."
               - seen on the door of a Navy ship's welding shop


"The church is near, but the way is icy,
The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully."
               - Ukranian Proverb

Discharge of a nuclear weapon will be deemed a warlike act even if accidental.
-From the Travelers' Homeowners Insurance Policy

To be happy on the Fourth
Buy a fifth
On the third.
-Linda Mount

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
[I have a catapult. Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.]
-Kirk Andrews

Vague references to a bus trip, drinking, and puking do *not* make for a unique context in which I can figure out what you're talking about. It's like saying, "You remember that day you were breathing?" or "Remember that time you banged that chick?". It just doesn't distinguish itself from the hundreds of such occasions.
-George Weilacher

"But getting drunk, and picking up bar ladies, and doing metaphysics are a part of life."
               - R. M. Pirsig

"We're building a coffin, to put your mother in after we fuck her to death."
               - some guy named Tom, when asked by an annoying first-year what he was doing with a hammer, nails, and lumber

"The other night, I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the FUCK is my roof?!?'"
               - Anon.

"Philosophy: a blind man in dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there."
               - Lord Bowen

"Our medium salsa is mild to people in the West, but it's really hot to people in the East. Our rep in Texas said people there would love our Mexican pasta sauce because it was nice and spicy, but I think we killed a
half-dozen people in Rhode Island."
           - Don Peet, San Angel Mexican Foods

"Eat cheese or die."
    - suggested slogan for the Wisconsin license plate

"Playing DOOM cooperatively is like trying to coordinate a fire team of deaf people with tunnel vision."
               - Calvin Lott

Go get yourselves a bunch of bottles, smash them, spread the shards of glass all over the floor, and then roll over them repeatedly. Maybe then you'll build up the thick skin you'll need to make it through life without becoming a authoritarian bastard who won't let me say anything which might offend somebody somewhere.
-Anthony Campillo

"This signature project was my last, best hope to seem eloquent. It failed. But in the year of Decency In Communications Act, it became something greater. My last, best hope for satire. The year is 1996. The Place:
Babbling On Pine."
               - Kyle N. Foster (.sig)

"I can now march 25 and 30 miles a day, survive on short rations of nothing but hardtack, rancid bacon, and cold water, sleep in the woods in the cold and heavy dew under nothing but an overcoat, and enjoy myself capitally."
               - Union soldier, during training

Since that time, the government's ability to enforce its laws has been established. As my father wisely pointed out, they own the world's largest organized mob with unlimited resources.
-Randy Whitted, TechWeb

Everyone is scared except the criminals. The way to change that is to give the criminals
something to be afraid of. That thing is a well-armed public.
-Sen. Trent Lott (R - Miss)

"The people who are dragging American bodies [through Somalia] don't look very hungry to the people of Texas."
               - Senator Phil Gramm, R Texas

"We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of public money."
               - Congressman Davy Crockett

"There is a First Amendment right to speak in a encrypted way....  The right to speak P.G.P. is like the right to speak Navajo.  The Government
has no particular right to prevent you from speaking in a technical manner even if it is inconvenient for them to understand."
               - Eben Moglen, Columbia U. professor of law and legal history, The New York Times

"Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds."
          - John Perry Barlow, EFF co-founder,
             _Decrypting the Puzzle Palace_

"The terms 'Sporting Purpose' and 'Hunting' are nowhere to be seen in the Second Amendment. I checked twice."
               - Martin P. Olsen

"Rights ARE rights, arms ARE arms and people ARE people."
               - Tanya Metaksa, NRA

Best Marine quote from the Gulf War: "I sure hope the Iraqis are good lovers, because they sure can't fight."

"Retreat . . . Hell! We just got here." --Col. Wendell "Whispering Buck" Neville, fighting in France during World War I.

"Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?" -- Sgt. Dan Daly, World War I.

"A liberal is a man who loves every country, but his own."
Quote from National Review.

Actually it's from Albert Einstein

[b]Illegitimus non tatum corborundum[/b] -- "Don't let the bastards wear you down!"

"The guy at the parts store actually took our check, no shit Jim. So, I bought two sets."    Over heard at the local drag strip at the season finals.

A Spartan woman handing her son his shield and sword, "return with this or upon it."

A greek soldier remarked to a Spartan, "you fight with such short swords" to which the Spartan replied "yes we prefer to fight at close quarters."

Xerxes to Leonidas(a Spartan general) who was outnumbered by nearly 100 to 1   "deliver up your arms" the reply, "come and take them"

Alexander the Great once remarked of the demands his mother was making after he became King of Macedonia.  "she demands a hard price for such a short time in her womb."

"Every piece of ass you pass up you are one more behind ".- my step dad