-you carry a sword in the mall
-you dress in tactaicl black in the mall
-you have an electric response vehicle
-you idea of a good time is hanging motionless upside down for hoursat a time looking for shoplifters.
-you have repelled inside a mall
-you carry more than 3 guns
-you always look at the ceiling in a mall (i actaully did that on saturday)
-peeps on ar15.com talk about you more than guns
-you feel the need for a sniper rifle inthe mall            
-you have more changed photos of yuorself on ar15.com than regular photos of anything.

you fail to stop a shoplifter and must complete ritual suicide

- you have your personal home page hosted by www.mallninja.com

- Your employee manual contains the unabridged version of Sun Tzu's [i]Art of War[/i].

Hee hee...

If you consider an FTF(Failure To Flush) sufficient reason to make a dynamic entry on the mall restroom...

If every squabble at the discount table brings back images of Nam...

If you ever have wondered just how fast you could make a golf cart go...

If you have TWO ankle holsters in service at the same time...

If an SW-5 is your SMG ideal...

Juggernaut

- instead of driving your kids to school you make them jump from tree to tree all the way there.

- if you have customized your golf cart with a car engine.

- if you make fun of others on rascal scooters as you pass them in your golf cart.

- if every time you watch Tarzan in one of his movies jump from tree to tree you shout out "Amateur!"

Was that supposed to be rappel?  You know, like with ropes and stuff.  It works either way, but I was curious.