Worse things to hear or say during sex...

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Worse things to hear or say during sex... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:08:45 AM EDT

Opps or ouch. Nothing good can come from hearing one of those two.

"Oh shit!!! My father/husband/boyfriend/brother/uncle is home!!"

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:11:58 AM EDT

[#1]

Derisive laughter.
"You're doing it wrong again."
"Do what you want, I'm going to sleep."
"Again?" *sigh*

(edited to remove redundancy)

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:12:20 AM EDT

[#2]

Worst thing to hear: "Blue. I think we should paint the ceiling blue."

Worst thing to say: Your [i]last[/i] girlfriend's name.

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:12:43 AM EDT

[#3]

"Wait, there's something I need to tell you about..."

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:14:25 AM EDT

[#4]

To the wife: This is how my girlfriend likes it.

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:14:53 AM EDT

[#5]

"Bring out the Gimp..."

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:15:06 AM EDT

[#6]

.......[size=1]"I don't feel a thing"[/size=1]....

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:16:46 AM EDT

[#7]

[i]"Are you through yet?"[/i]

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:16:50 AM EDT

[#8]

Worse thing to hear: Say Babe, how about we go get a burger when you're done??

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:22:03 AM EDT

[#9]

"is it in yet"

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:27:24 AM EDT

[#10]

Anyways.
At least this will only take a minute.

Dang girl, you're fat.
Stop bounching on my stomach.
Ice

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:38:42 AM EDT

[#11]

Signature line from Hannah_Reitsch -

Jedem das seine

View Quote

Und was meint das? Vielleicht - 'to each his own'?

Eric The(ImmerLehrnen)Hun[>]:)]

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:40:33 AM EDT

[#12]

Said my wife's name to my GF once
Immediate cessation of activity

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:43:51 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Said my wife's name to my GF once
Immediate cessation of activity

View Quote

Yup. Nothing makes 'em jump out of be quicker!

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:48:34 AM EDT

[#14]

Worst thing....Girl ripping a fart during her climax.

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:57:01 AM EDT

[#15]

"Only my daddy can touch me there!"

Av.

Posted: 11/14/2001 9:59:38 AM EDT

[#16]

Cyrax777 got my favorite one, but how about: "Roll me over and cover me up when you're done."

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:00:06 AM EDT

[#17]

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Oooohhh! Mommy!"

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:00:44 AM EDT

[#18]

HUH ?? .... you did ?? ... when ??.... well.. ok if you say so.

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:08:12 AM EDT

[#19]

"g i didnt think i would have this much excitment till i was at least 16"

i pray to god i never hear that one

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:11:12 AM EDT

[#20]

Say: Your sister does that too.....

Rodeo Sex.... Bend her over the couch and whisper in her ear that her sister was better... See if you can hang on for 8 seconds...

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:13:38 AM EDT

[#21]

Bob that is some funny stuff.

Cyrax777,
How about, "My daddy is a cop, so we have to keep this a secret."

Ice

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:14:28 AM EDT

[#22]

"I have a bear trap in my vagina"

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:16:48 AM EDT

[#23]

"My name is Reno. JANET Reno. And tonight you will be my slave, b--ch....."

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:20:36 AM EDT

[#24]

After you're done and on your back:
"Are you in yet?"

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:32:17 AM EDT

[#25]

From Fight Club:

Marla: GOD! I haven't been f**ked like that since Grade School.

Tyler

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:35:23 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
"Oh shit!!! My father/husband/boyfriend/brother/uncle is home!!"

View Quote

Imagine this:

You wake-up in a (very) strange room on a Sunday morning...

You're out of your home state (just not sure which one you [u]are[/u] in)...

It's 10:00 AM, & the temperature is already over 100° ...

You're dirty, filthy, sticky, & you can smell your own BO
(now you KNOW what a glazed doughnut feels like)...

You've got a hangover so bad that you're afraid to move...

You hear "Oh shit!!! My grand daughter just pulled up!!!"

[Edited because typing hurts too.]
(This IS Sunday, right?)

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:38:05 AM EDT

[#27]

LOL!!!! There are some pretty good ones!!!
I was with my girlfriend last night and her brother came to visit.
"Oh Shit!!! My brother's here!!!"
I wasn't in the mood to have my ass kicked last night.
I don't think I've ever seen her dress so fast before.

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:38:35 AM EDT

[#28]

"Oh shit... I forgot to renew my birth control pill prescription..."

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:40:39 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
"is it in yet"

View Quote

"YEA, how about packing a little P*SSY around it" [:D]

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:50:44 AM EDT

[#30]

After you pop-off say: "Keep the change"

[smoke]

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:52:36 AM EDT

[#31]

"Honey, I'm home"

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:57:03 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Signature line from Hannah_Reitsch -

Jedem das seine

View Quote

Und was meint das?

View Quote

JEDEM DAS SEINE

"TO EACH HIS OWN" inscription on gate at Buchenwald.

Viper Out

Posted: 11/14/2001 10:57:12 AM EDT

[#33]

I've found the worst thing you can do at any time is to laugh.

Posted: 11/14/2001 11:05:39 AM EDT

[#34]

Happened to me in High School while I was with my second "real" girlfriend...
"Oooh Jimmy....."
"Who the F$%^ is Jimmy?....
Watched Family Man the other night..
His wife says something like "Tell me what I like to hear....
Nicholas Cage says..."You're a bad girl baby, you make me so hot....."
Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say. I laughed my A@@ off!

Posted: 11/14/2001 11:11:14 AM EDT

[#35]

Upon your ejaculation, yell "Fire in the Hole!"

Posted: 11/14/2001 11:12:41 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Signature line from Hannah_Reitsch -

Jedem das seine

View Quote

Und was meint das? Vielleicht - 'to each his own'?

Eric The(ImmerLehrnen)Hun[>]:)]

View Quote

Very good, Eric , that's it exactly :)

Posted: 11/14/2001 12:57:11 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Worst thing....Girl ripping a fart during her climax.

View Quote

Especially if you were preforming oral sex on her at the time. [:0]

Sometimes feeling the wind through your hair is not a good thing.

Posted: 11/14/2001 12:59:18 PM EDT

[#38]

The racking of her husband's 12 guage!

Posted: 11/14/2001 1:01:36 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
The racking of her husband's 12 guage!

View Quote

[shock]

Posted: 11/14/2001 1:23:01 PM EDT

[#40]

[url]http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?id=56160[/url]

Sorry nobby, someone had to do it. [:)]

Posted: 11/14/2001 1:43:36 PM EDT

[#41]

"Hell baby, a little rug burn never hurt anybody!"

Vulcan94

100 posts!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!

Posted: 11/14/2001 1:57:57 PM EDT

[#42]

....... can you just hurry up and get it over with.......

Posted: 11/14/2001 1:59:46 PM EDT

[#43]

WOW!! and i thought LordTrader had a small one!!

mike [beer]

Posted: 11/14/2001 2:06:32 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
WOW!! and i thought LordTrader had a small one!!

mike [beer]

View Quote

I bet you all didn't
know that he owns a talking dog.

Posted: 11/14/2001 2:08:49 PM EDT

[#45]

I've got you all beat...

"Here, you left this in me..." (holding rubber, next day after sex just after getting out of a hot tub)

"OH, xxxxx!!! (sons name)" Heard during sex just after getting out of a hot tub (coming from mother after seeing sons full moon moving rhythmically).

Posted: 11/14/2001 2:21:13 PM EDT

[#46]

After a HEAVY night of drinking...wake up next morning and hear....Baaaaaa....baaaaaaa.[:I]

Good lord, I thought she was little hairy![sex]

(hint)I luv EWE's

Whats that smell?
[b][blue]NAKED[/blue][/b][}:D]

Posted: 11/14/2001 2:21:55 PM EDT

[#47]

"tap, tap, tap" (flashlight on glass)
Followed by very bright light...

Followed by loud voice saying "Police Department"...

Followed by her saying, "oh shit, get off me the cops are at the window"

Followed by.... me not wanting to move out of embarrassment because my naked ass is shining from the flashlight in all its glory.

Followed by cop saying, "um, everything okay? I think you two need to move it along"

Yup, high school can have good and bad memories. Depending on the moment.this one...good now, but very bad at the time.

medcop