User Panel
Posted: 11/5/2001 2:31:39 PM EDT
Tips For Tourists
From the Southern Department of Tourism 1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than\ you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't need your respect, but he sure as heck deserves it. 2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way. 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. 4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked . . . by our women. 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for . . . bait. 6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for one drink in the airport. 9. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks ...and a dang sight more fun to watch. 10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. 11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. 12. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we drive two weeks a year! 13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. 14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. 15. Yeah, we eat catfish--carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop. 16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 20 goes two ways, I-65 goes the other two. Pick one. 17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of Deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church. 18. So every person in every pick-up waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish. Now, enjoy your visit and then go home! [beer] |
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Hell yeah! I wish that someone would put that, point at a time on billboards along the interstates starting 25 miles north of the Virginia, Kentucky and Arkansas state lines.
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Sounds good to me[):)]
Just one more thing for down here in FL. Stay in Orlando,soft feet can only get you so far away from a Gator[:D] |
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[B][SIZE=5]We dont care how you did it.. "Up North" !!![/size=5][/b]
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Here's a few others...
It is not a "pop", it is a Coke! Don't ask "What are grits?" Just eat them!!! Yea, it is always this hot and humid! Deal with it! |
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Those rules apply to northern Minnesota too. Especially when the 612'rs (thats the area code in the twin cities, so we call the people that)or the citiot's come here and try to tell us how to run our natural wilderness. Tourism hell, stay in the southern part of the state. You have screwed that up enough, leave us alone.
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15. Yeah, we eat catfish--carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop. View Quote Carp? blech!..their overgrown vegetarian minnows! |
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[size=6][b][red]YANKEES SUCK THE SWEAT OFF A DEADMAN'S BALLS AND LIKE IT!!![/size=6][/b][/red]
"Do what you will, just stay the fuck up there damn it." |
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Of course, not all yankees are carpetbagging, pole-smoking, tree-worshipping, bunny-hugging pinko fruitcakes.
"Do what you will, just don't think I hate [i]all[/i] yanks." |
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Quoted: Sweet! Yeah, I'm a northern boy, but I'm Southern inside! View Quote What does this mean exactly? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you like the south & you are welcome here. But being southern doesn't just mean you like guns & hunting. It means, partly, that this is home. Here, you don't hear someone with a southern accent and go "cool, I love southerners". It's not meant badly, Yankees have plenty to be proud of (I guess) but you can't be southern inside any more than you can be Okinawan inside. |
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I kinda always thought of southern as a state of mind. One who believes in tradional values. Free will, Taking care of one's self without expecting the world to give you anything. The sort of thing you find in the south and the heartland.
Those of us in dixie just get the added bonus of living here [:)]. I've met plenty of yankees that were as southern as the best of us rednecks. I've also met plenty of southerners that have no clue what their heritage is. mike |
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No you cant pet my dog, Hell that aint no dog, its a possum, we grow um big down here!![:D]
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If you must wear sandals while visiting us,please wear white socks, or, no socks at all.
Rabbit An Arkansas POW in Utah |
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I have a real truck:
[img]http://www.mindspring.com/~joeloftus/shared/hulk1.jpg[/img] A bulldog: [img]http://www.mindspring.com/~joeloftus/shared/gator78.jpg[/img] A rifle: [img]http://www.mindspring.com/~joeloftus/shared/m4carbine.gif[/img] I love the South. |
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real???
do those chrome wheels make your truck go faster, or make it carry more in the top less trunk? ford stopped making real trucks after the 1979 style with the big square heeadlights and the inverted grille. i like chevys and i still wnat one of those. real trucks seat only 3, on one bench seat. ext cabs are cars |
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that ain't a truck, it's a really nice station wagon. admit that you could do what you do with an astro van or a suburu.
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Quoted: NEVER bad mouth a Southern gentleman's truck![:D] View Quote Hell thats ok, he don't know no better. Ol' fancey boy aint from round here. |
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what'en was did ye done go and speak to ma?? yur right in assuming that'en i don'ts liven myself down thar in the woods with you hicks, i lives myself up in them thar maritimes. in canada. we have harcore rednecks. fellers that have to deal themselves with snow. no truck that new and nice is used for truck stuff so buy a real truck or buy a car. goof.
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Quoted: what'en was did ye done go and speak to ma?? yur right in assuming that'en i don'ts liven myself down thar in the woods with you hicks, i lives myself up in them thar maritimes. in canada. we have harcore rednecks. fellers that have to deal themselves with snow. no truck that new and nice is used for truck stuff so buy a real truck or buy a car. goof. View Quote LOL! I don't live in the woods goof ball,I live in Tampa Bay with about 3,000,000 other people. And as for snow HA! try 6 feet of mud there Mr.Mounty. ps:"what'en was did ye done go and speak to ma?? "[rolleyes] Not alot of O2 way up there in there great white north I gess[:D] |
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you can avoid mud, can't avoid that white shit.
we get plenty of o2. lots of woods and stuff in canada. |
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Quoted: One more point, if I may. Tea is only served one way, sweet. View Quote Then why do restaurants have pitchers labeled "'Tis" and "'Tain't"? Cornbread is NOT served with syrup. Y'all ain't from around heah, are ya? Also, for the gentleman who wrote that "it's not a pop, it's a Coke" -- any real southerner would be drinking Pepsi. |
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Quoted: Also, for the gentleman who wrote that "it's not a pop, it's a Coke" -- any real southerner would be drinking Pepsi. View Quote |
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[b]THIS is a truck[/b]
[img]http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1463213&a=13642307&p=52974946[/img] right cheer out my winder. Please notice the shattered glass of the passenger window from a errant .223 round. Missed the damn yankee pulled up 'side me. |
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Quoted: you can avoid mud, can't avoid that white shit. we get plenty of o2. lots of woods and stuff in canada. View Quote A southern man is smart enough not to live in an area like that. Go play with a polar bear you wannabe[:)] mike |
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I have lived in the south almost 2 and half years now and was in for a tremendous culture shock when I first came to North Carolina.. I am from the Hudson valley of NY; 60 miles north of NYC and never lived anywhere else until college..
I have a few complaints about the south that I still cannot stand to this day.. 1.) The BIGGEST thing I find is sheer laziness and slowness.. I'm sorry but there really is no need to spend over 2 hours at walmart..Also, some people around here seem to think they have all the time in the world to finish college and do homework. I'm sorry that I do my homework early and intend to graduate on time instead of 5-6 years, but does that really make me anal because I have set some goals?? 2.)The "sweet tea" I find is too sweet and all the pork is clogging arteries and making people fat! I hate pork and no, I'm not Jewish..But I wish people would stop giving me "the look" every time I ask for no bacon, ham, or sausage. I also hate how alot of stuff is fried and there is no consideration to having a healthy, well balanced meal... Its frustrating to stay in good shape and workout when you get laughed at trying to stay in shape.. That's all...mainly I'm just venting cuz my roomate is driving me crazy...it takes her days to put dishes in the dishwasher and she calls me too neat because I like to not have dishes piled up every night! She always says she will "get around to it", but she never seems to..so I'm always stuck with putting them up.. PLUS, a shopping trip with her seems to take eons and she seems to have no time frame to finish school; she will graduate "whenever." Maybe this is why I am moving out and getting a one bedroom in a few weeks.. I realize the majority of southerners are not like this, that she is an exception, a rather annoying exception at times... |
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However, I do like the south for many more reasons.. I like how I can like Nascar, wrestling, and guns and not be laughed at..
I like how there isn't snow up to my waist. Hell, winter doesn't even really exsist down here..(I do miss the seasons changing sometimes though) I like how I can go to the beach from march until october; its not a 2 month season like in the north... I like krispy kreme (in moderation of course, once or twice a month.) I like how gas is cheaper, apartments are cheaper, hell mostly everything is cheaper..(I do miss the designer stores sometimes though, but that's what catalogs are for..) Its definitely a good place to be.. |
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Quoted: However, I do like the south for many more reasons.. I like how I can like Nascar, wrestling, and guns and not be laughed at.. I like how there isn't snow up to my waist. Hell, winter doesn't even really exsist down here..(I do miss the seasons changing sometimes though) I like how I can go to the beach from march until october; its not a 2 month season like in the north... I like krispy kreme (in moderation of course, once or twice a month.) I like how gas is cheaper, apartments are cheaper, hell mostly everything is cheaper..(I do miss the designer stores sometimes though, but that's what catalogs are for..) Its definitely a good place to be.. View Quote Welcome to the real world BB! It doesn't matter if you were born up north as long as you got here as fast as you could! Most of us can not avoid the mud! Heck we live 20 plus miles from the nearest pavement! Tea is sweet! It is Ice Cold! And it is always in a big jug! Probably a gallon or so! It is a Coke no matter what is says on the can! We are not even going to start the Coke-vs-Pepsi thing! Big(Don'tWeHaveOtherEnemiesToFocusOurEnergyOn?NamelyTheTaliban!)Dozer66 I got that from Eric the(HeAlwaysHasSomethingCoolToSay)Hun[>]:)] |
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Post from Green_Furniture -
THIS is a truck View Quote Whoowee! Yes, that's a truck all right. It looks just like my last truck, a '79 Chevy 1/2 ton in the same blue/white color scheme! I had a friend of mine (Harry's Performance Auto, Mesquite, Texas) build me a balanced, blueprinted 350 c.i., 4-bolt main, mouse motor for it! Then I put a 700R4 auto trans in it from a Corvette! That mouse roared! Until Miz Hun roared even louder, and I was forced to sell it to a complete stranger. He still calls me up to thank me for it! Funny guy. Eric The(MizHunCalledItMy'Dump'Truck |
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I live 2 miles from a paved road.
I get both mud and tons of snow, nice and swampy in the spring (June) Why anyone would put sugar in tea hot or cold, is beyond me. Bacon is best served every day. Darn near everyone around has a 'real' truck as the previously shown photograph has depicted, I still need to get one... The town dump is akin to a town meeting. |
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Quoted: Tips For Tourists From the Southern Department of Tourism 10. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. View Quote I dont understand this one because one of my favorite things about the south is I can order my tea already sweetened. |
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Quoted: Tips For Tourists From the Southern Department of Tourism 10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon. View Quote ??? Sweet iced tea isn't a southern thing? What kind of BS is this? |
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Quoted: [b]THIS is a truck[/b] [img]http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1463213&a=13642307&p=52974946[/img] View Quote [:O] better get Maco! |
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that truck is real.
i prefer the 73-87 trucks for wheelin. but the 72 and old trucks are great as performance street trucks. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Sweet! Yeah, I'm a northern boy, but I'm Southern inside! View Quote What does this mean exactly? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you like the south & you are welcome here. But being southern doesn't just mean you like guns & hunting. It means, partly, that this is home. Here, you don't hear someone with a southern accent and go "cool, I love southerners". It's not meant badly, Yankees have plenty to be proud of (I guess) but you can't be southern inside any more than you can be Okinawan inside. View Quote Well, I still LIVE in the North, and I'll probably stay here in PA, cause I love it, especially Lancaster. But I identify with the Southern Ideology. The_Beer_Slayer summed it up best: Quoted: I kinda always thought of southern as a state of mind. One who believes in tradional values. Free will, Taking care of one's self without expecting the world to give you anything. The sort of thing you find in the south and the heartland. Those of us in dixie just get the added bonus of living here [:)]. I've met plenty of yankees that were as southern as the best of us rednecks. I've also met plenty of southerners that have no clue what their heritage is. mike View Quote Quoted: Also, for the gentleman who wrote that "it's not a pop, it's a Coke" -- any real southerner would be drinking Pepsi. View Quote Well, I guess I'm not totally Southern- Give me a Coke any day. Pepsi is too darn sweet. |
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The only problem with them old Chevys is that damn column shift. Ticks me off.
I almost donated it to the Kidney Foundation but I keep it around because my yankee brother in law borrows it two or three times a year for mulch and firewood and he can't drive it to save his life. Love to come home about dusk to see the truck sitting on the side of the road and a little figure in the distance walking home! |
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