Let me preface this by saying it's not often I get drunk, but maybe 2-3 times a year I'll put a real doozie on.  Last time was in August in Indiana, and I pissed in a bar - while standing in the middle of the bar.  Just whipped it out and pissed.  It was also the only drunken night where I actually pissed myself in my sleep.  It's hard to drink like you're 23 when you're 33.

Last night was such a night.  2 friends and I went out to grab a beer (A single beer) as it had been awhile since all three of us were together.  

Many, many beers and 7 shots of Jagermeister later, we left the bar.  Myself and one of my friends were shitfaced drunk, my other friend had 2 beers the whole night, so he drove my car.  It was about midnight, and we decided IHOP would be great.

By the time I sat down at IHOP, I had the spins already.  Bad mojo.  I barely managed to form a sentence coherent enough to order a stack of cornbread pancakes with bacon.  I drank about half my glass of water and just sort of sat there with my head in my hands, getting more and more dizzy by the minute.  

The food arrived, and I ignored it for a few minutes.  My friend Steve reminded me I had food and advised me to eat it.  I took one bite.

That's when shit just fell apart.

I felt that urge, and knew there was no way I could walk to the restroom, even if I had time.  I grabbed my water glass and hurled into it.  Amazingly, all the puke went into the glass, and I managed to fill it almost all the way back up without spilling any.  Now, when I puke, I puke loudly.  Being drunk though, I thought I'd be low profile about it, hoping no one else noticed.  I made some dumb comment to my friend, pushed the glass aside, and hoped for the best.  No such luck.  I grabbed Steve's glass next, and hurl #2 went into his glass.  Hurls #3 and #4 went all over my pancakes and all over the table.  Steve and Jeff leaped out of the booth, because puke was spraying everywhere.  

Fuck.  I looked around, and the formerly buzzing restaurant was dead-ass silent, and people were gawking at me with their mouths agape.  In retrospect I find it hilarious, but at the time I knew the puking had only just begun.  I made a fucking line for the door and didn't look back.  I managed to puke all over myself as I was walking out - hurl #5.  I stumbled across the parking lot and got into the back of my car.  Hurls 6, 7, and 8 went onto the floormat.  

It seems like I was in the car for a long time, like maybe 20-30 minutes, but according to Jeff and Steve they unassed the restaurant pretty quick.  I don't remember anything after this until I was crawling - yes crawling up my driveway with the two idiots trying to get me to walk.  Fuck that.  They woke my wife up and while we waited I puked 2 more times on the front stoop.

My wife brought me in, and she was taking to them while I was about 3 steps up the staircase.  Two more hurls, and as I remember they were getting to be those painful bile hurls where you don't puke very much.  She dragged me to the top of the stairs, gave me a plastic bowl, and that's where I woke up this AM.  Sometime during the night I must have puked a little in the bowl, judging by the residue inside.  

The hangover was brutal.  Not only is my throat irritated and hurting from the puke, but I had a severe headache from hell until about noon.  I used to get really bad migraines, where I had to give myself a shot they were so painful, and that headache rated right up there with them.  

I cleaned up the floormat, luckily that's the only part of the car that had puke in it.

According to Jeff and Steve, the IHOP manager came over with the bill for the food as I was walking out, told them he would ring them out immediately, and that I was no longer welcome in the restaurant, and he'd trespass me if he ever saw me again.    I guess the puke was everywhere.  Jeff threw the waitress an extra $10 on the way out because he felt so bad.  I have no idea how I got that damn drunk, but I have been on some medication for a back injury which I recently quit taking - maybe there was some residually in my body that aggravated the effects of the booze.  Or maybe it was the rapid succession of that awful shit we were doing shots of.

I still feel like hell.  Gonna go to bed in about a half hour.

Wow.  I bet you're proud.

That was quite an accomplishment.

Sounds like a good time!  

Haven't ever had that problem myself, though I have been to many a waffle house, IHOP, and Denny's when drunk and hungry.

Ah just another interesting night thats all..

I've had plenty of those nights being a college student..

sweet. I got banned from a perkins for bringing it a bottle of whisky and playing bartender with the 3 am patrons. To be fair most of the customers really enjoyed my light hearted antics and free late night cocktails... But the police were less than amused.  

Hey man, have you ever pissed on a telephone pole only to have all of it (unnoticed at the time) ricochet back on your leg and walk back into the party?

Uhm, me niether

this is not a tag

Damn reads of a Dusty_C misadventure.

This reminds me of a certain rodney carrington song.

Oh to be seventeen again.

Quoted: Wow.  I bet you're proud. That was quite an accomplishment.

Not proud, not ashamed.  I look upon it with mirth.  

I am however, devastated by your disdain of my behavior.  

When I woke up I started laughing my ass off, which made my head hurt even worse.  

When I was younger, I puked in my fair share of foreign toilets, but this is the first time I've had no warning whatsoever of impending doom.

I've felt that way just walking into an IHOP.  

So was it worth it?

But look on the bright side - no erect penises were involved!

Quoted: Ihop will do that to a fellow Waffle House all the way.

 I do remember a semi-heated debate about IHOP vs Waffle House on the way over there.  Waffle House would have ended much more badly, there likely would have been an altercation and police intervention, based upon the clientele which I've seen there in the past.  

peteco, the best cure for a hangover is WATER. God's wonderful, clear, clean water.

Most of the symptoms of a hangover are due to DEHYDRATION. Alcohol is a VERY  powerful diuretic. Diuretics are chemicals that cause you to lose water. So if you have an ounce of alcohol, your body probably loses 10 ounces of water just trying to metabolize it.

After the alcohol clears out (12 hours or so after your last drink), there are still some powerful chemicals that need purging. These are by-products of metabolizing alcohol.

Go, get a big glass of water, and chug it. Refill, repeat. Drink water until you feel it sloshing behind your eyes.

Quoted: Quoted: Wow.  I bet you're proud. That was quite an accomplishment. Not proud, not ashamed.  I look upon it with mirth.   I am however, devastated by your disdain of my behavior.   When I woke up I started laughing my ass off, which made my head hurt even worse.   When I was younger, I puked in my fair share of foreign toilets, but this is the first time I've had no warning whatsoever of impending doom.

<shrugs>

Okey-doke.

Sweet! Another PeteCO store/restaurant adventure!

OWNED

Reminds me of my first semester at college.

Well, I was never that bad.

This is SO MUCH Better than the walmart poop story.

WIN!!!!11!!!

By the title...I knew I was going to laugh my ass off...

Especially after what you did to that Walmart bathroom

Quoted: Many, many beers and 7 shots of Jagermeister later, we left the bar.  Myself and one of my friends were shitfaced drunk, my other friend had 2 beers the whole night, so he drove my car.  It was about midnight, and we decided IHOP would be great.

I think back to the one time I got that drunk (someone had a video camera) and I'm glad I don't drink anymore.

Sounds like the hangover I had when me and my college roommate used vitamin C tablets to chase vodka shots.

Quoted: So was it worth it? But look on the bright side - no erect penises were involved!

Thats the part he did not share with us.

at least you did not piss all over the restaurant

is the wifed pissed at you?

7.0 on the Ryan's Steakhouse scale.

Quoted: Quoted: Ihop will do that to a fellow Waffle House all the way.  I do remember a semi-heated debate about IHOP vs Waffle House on the way over there.  Waffle House would have ended much more badly, there likely would have been an altercation and police intervention, based upon the clientele which I've seen there in the past.

Good move not going to Waffle House...

Was this the IHOP on College Ave.? I think I know someone who witnessed this...

Quoted: That's when shit just fell apart.

NO cheeze on my Grits.

Drinking is like shooting. You gotta practice. IMHO.

Quoted: So was it worth it? But look on the bright side - no erect penises were involved!

I can always hold my puke till home, but I suppose sometimes a guy just can't keep it inside. At least you didn't puke on someone else.

the last time i was seriously drunk was about 6 months ago, been drink steadily since about 5 pm at a pool party, around 7 we started the tequila shots, and whiskey shots and who knows what else.

by 10 i  had a pretty serious buzz and decided to call it a night, me and the girl i was with started to walk back to her house( we were at her sister's two houses down) didn't make it outta the yard before we fell over.

Her dad walked over and helped us back to the house(she lives with her parents) and helped me upstairs to the spare bedroom. Which happened to be the exact time my stomach said i gotta get rid of this shit. I think i spent the next hour or so in the bathroom.

was pretty proud of myself when i woke up, i managed not to get puke all over the bathroom, only a little on the rim of the toilet.

Wow, way to go champ.

Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell!

Sounds like fun

jager and other "thick" drinks take a few minuts to reach full effect. 7 shots of that shit with a number of beers would knock a non-drinker right on his ass......like it did to you. Im 23, and would have hoped a guy at 33 would know this. Next time just stagger to the door and puke outside

Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell!

I know, ARFCOM has gone down hill since I first got here. No one else likes having a good time and being dumb once in awhile?

Quoted: Sounds like fun

Yeah, and so does putting my nuts in a vice.

Maybe you didn't notice, but it was 10:41 when he wrote this gem, he still felt like shit.

Fuuuuuck that.

Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell!

I really despise drunks.  Mainly for the reasons as detailed in the first post.

Sorry Buck-o.

Quoted: Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell! I know, ARFCOM has gone down hill since I first got here. No one else likes having a good time and being dumb once in awhile?

"Jumped the Shark" is the correct term around here.....it happened when Styer left.

Yeah, what the fuck...have a good time. You only live once. I like getting drunk and so does everyone else, why shit on this guys thread.

Good times.

Quoted: Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell! I really despise drunks.  Mainly for the reasons as detailed in the first post. Sorry Buck-o.

If you went to college, I cant believe how much it must have sucked for you.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell! I really despise drunks.  Mainly for the reasons as detailed in the first post. Sorry Buck-o. If you went to college, I cant believe how much it must have sucked for you.

College is one thing, being a grown man is another.

According to Jeff and Steve, the IHOP manager came over with the bill for the food as I was walking out, told them he would ring them out immediately, and that I was no longer welcome in the restaurant, and he'd trespass me if he ever saw me again.

Riiiiiight...

Show up there in a couple weeks for dinner with your wife (and kids if you have any) and see how you're treated.

If they start a fuss, just deny it was you.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Whats with you pussy's and the 's? That was funny as hell! I know, ARFCOM has gone down hill since I first got here. No one else likes having a good time and being dumb once in awhile? "Jumped the Shark" is the correct term around here.....it happened when Styer left. Yeah, what the fuck...have a good time. You only live once. I like getting drunk and so does everyone else, why shit on this guys thread.

Wow - you're right.

Shitting in this thread would be just like puking in front of a bunch of people trying to eat their meal in a restaurant.

oh wait...

It was funny, but I'd go back and slip the waitress and the manager a few more bucks for their troubles.

Now I just wanna know WTF happened at walmart