In the spirit of "true tales of the ffl" and other supurb threads I offer the following.

When a younger lad I had spent time as a "trapper" and eventually "range officer" on a heavily visited public rifle range, east of NewYork City.

Not one to carry on so I will offer just a snippet of my experiences.


Episode 1

POW! PING! ZZZZZZIPPP ! What daaaa F__K !!!

On a cold crispy sunday morning sombody decided to throw a few fistfulls of 22rf ammo in a old 55 gallon drum that contained buring scrpas of lumber and was the hand warming and coffee chat area for anyone whom cared to wander over.

Who did this I asked over the speaker phone?

apparently a few people admitted to this act! unknowningly working as a team!

Why? now we have to evacuate the 50 yard range and drag this glowing red hot barrel away.

Please dont do that again sir......

The answers ranged from "well I wanted to see if it would melt the brass" , " i figured they would go off , but wanted to see" , and " I didnt know it was real ammo "


Episode 2


The horrific weekend before opening day.


hunters packed 3 deep accross 60 benches. I am already shaken by the idiot who walked down from the car and unzipped the case with  the muzzle pointed accross the line. He unsheathed his trusty 32 winchester special Marlin lever action. Round in chamber and hammer fully cocked since he placed it in the case leaving the forest last season.

In any event my helpers and I are doing well when an unusual report catches my attention.

"that dont sound right" " I better walk over............BOOOM " " AAAAAAAH MY EYES ! "

Well the guy survived and his shooting buddy did as well, no permenant injuries ......

Lesson: if you have a 25-06 and your buddy shooting 308 , dont unbox it all an mix it together.

And even if it worked 2 ! yes TWO! rounds consecutively ....inspect the extracted case.....

notice unusual recoil? why didnt it hit the paper at 100 yards ??????


Eposide 3

Excuse me sir ! Yes ...can I help you?

Well I just bought this rifle and I put the powder in , but what do I do with this???? (lead round ball)

The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun.....

YEs .......read it again............


Episode 4

Sir , do you have a spare rag? Yeah sure , here ya go.........

3 minutes go by .......I walk over and see the gentleman struggling with his trapdoor sprinfield infantry rifle. With the rag jammed inthe chamber. Lumps of grease all over his hands and stock.....

Whatcha doing ?

Well My dad pumped the barrel full of grease years ago. I figured I could shoot it out if I stuff some cloth in the barrel and load it ....(my eye notice the box 300 gr hollow point federals on the bench with one missing, a single round held in his hands like a piece of taffy)


Well: believe it or not those are true, if interest is sparked I will add more.

The M1 carbine in the foot
The 25 auto cant hurt no MAN !
What do you mean I can change targets while the line is hot?
54 sharps in the cieling
Pattern 17 customized to 308 Norma Mag (in my kitchen)
It was just a bird......(bad day on skeet range for a feathered bird)
I am gonna shoot your girlfriend
so thats what those holes are for! (scope rings , no sights , no scope , no clue)
Can I hang a picture of my ex boyfriend on the target ? ( yes .....yes you can)
If we shoot this straight up......STOOOOOOOOOPP! ......aw shit.................

tag for more stories

Definitely want to hear more.

Sounds fun.

Remind me to never be a range officer.  I'd prefer to work with stupid people who AREN'T armed.

Quoted: tag for more stories

oh please for the love of all that's holy bring us more.

Post 'em!

Good ones so far, keep them coming MathewMaCaddum

And, welcome to the site


GM

Some folks that frequent my range offered me a joint... twice.

*sigh*

The joys of a public range with no officers...  To their credit, they are nice guys.  I just wish they'd keep the drugs an alcohol away from the range.  


- BG

tag for the rest


the ones you've posted so far are hilarious.

Edit: The only really funny range story I have is when a fellow ARFCOM member accidentally set the trash can on fire. Nothing too special there.

Eposide 3

Excuse me sir ! Yes ...can I help you?

Well I just bought this rifle and I put the powder in , but what do I do with this???? (lead round ball)

The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun.....

YEs .......read it again............


WOW some people shouldn't even own a gun if they are that dumb.

At my club there was an older gentleman with a M4 clone who didn't know how tclear his weapon.  As the entire line was waiting on this guy so we could go downrange and change targets, I went over to his weapon, picked it up, put it on safe, ejected the mag, locked the bolt to the rear, and laid it back down.  He protested, "you can't do that"  I looked him in the eye and said, "I just did."  

If you buy a firearm, read the manual before you go to the range.  Please.  

When I was pulling range duty last year, the guy I was working with told me a story from a few years back when he was a range master during hunting season. Apparently, there used to be a massive amount of Hmong shooters at this place, with hardly any of them speaking english/knowing what they were doing. One guy in particular noticed that the windage on his rifle was too far to either side. What does he do? Adjust the sights? No, that would be too easy. No, this guy actually takes the rifle, sticks the barrel between two legs of the shooting table, and tries to BEND THE BARREL to adjust his point of impact. Rumor has it that another Hmong shooter tried to do the same thing a different time, except this guy climed up onto the berm between two ranges (BIG, BIG, BIG no-no) and tried to use a tree to bend his barrel. He also told me he'd seen at least one of them attatch a scope to his rifle....WITH SUPER GLUE.

ETA: You also have to wonder where some of the bullet holes in this place came from. For example, there are always a few table that have a couple holes in the top, as if someone stood on top of them and shot twoards the ground. There was also a massive hole in the cieling of one of the ranges for a while from some guy who didn't clear his 12-guage before working on it. There was also a park ranger that has gotten hit by some guy at our range (supposedly). Apparently, someone with an AR shot over the berm, the bullet traveled about a mile or so, and bounced off a park ranger in the woods. It only bruised him slightly, but still....

i am personally requesting so thats what those holes are for!

when I was 6 y.o. I shot .22 lr rounds in the house by setting em on the floor and hitting em with an old army helmet.

The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun.....

I figured I could shoot it out if I stuff some cloth in the barrel and load it ....(my eye notice the box 300 gr hollow point federals on the bench with one missing, a single round held in his hands like a piece of taffy)

Holyshit! I always joked about cleaning a gun that way but someone actually thinking about doing that.

Quoted: tag for more stories

+1

Quoted: Eposide 3 Excuse me sir ! Yes ...can I help you? Well I just bought this rifle and I put the powder in , but what do I do with this???? (lead round ball) The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun..... YEs .......read it again............

Should have helped him load the bullet.  Then quietly motioned everyone else to a safe distance, and just let nature take its course.

in high school i was on the high power rifle team, that day at the range, the coach gave  me a DCM m1 grand that he said was chambered in 308, we had a few..

so, after a 30 or so shots, i went to pic up my brass.. i start finding all this funy brass that lokks like 45-70 shells.. i show it to our coach, he sayss.. "OH SHIT>>> let me see your gun...  ..DOH!"

i was shooting 308 threw a 30-06.. oops :).. it shot well though

And stupidity usally hurts.

Until I started working with the public I never understood the depths of stupidity where far too many people live nowadays.  

ok, here's one from me.

When I was a total n00b my friend took me shooting -- mostly his shotguns of various types.   I shot some with shot and others with slugs.  I was shooting some shot out of her Mossberg Turkey shotgun with a choke when I grabbed a couple of slugs and put them in the magazine and one in the chamber.  I sat at the bench and looked through the scope at the target, had my finger on the trigger when I thought outloud, "It's ok if I shoot slugs out of this one, isn't it?"

My friend, who wasn't paying attention got real excited quickly, exlained what a choke was and what would happen if I put a slug through it as he emptied the shotgun.

Close call.

Quoted: When a younger lad I had spent time as a "trapper" and eventually "range officer" on a heavily visited public rifle range, east of NewYork City.........

Gotta be Calverton.

More stories, please, especially about the guy that loaded a barrel full of powder.

SO THATS WHAT THOS HOLES ARE FOR ??

4:15 on a sunny sunday afternoon and the range monkey is sweeping and picking up trash. (me)

Man I want to go home and crack a cold one.....I hope she doesnt..........(tell tale dust cloud in distance revealing the range clerk sold sombody 45minutes of range time) (note it was 5 bucks for all day or 1 minute but its a free country)

1985 Monte Carlo pulls up with three teenagers , nice kids but obviously recent highschool senoirs. (it was august)

Kids pile out with bags, guns, happy meals, radio (rock n roll radio complete with casette), cokes, football jackets and moms freshly purchased white nike sneakers.  

Bouncing and practically skipping down from the parking lot these youthfull beaming kids come down the "LINE WHERE MEN CAN PROOVE THEY ........well I guess eat hamburgers , shoot , drink cokes and get moms birthday gift all dirty"

These guys are polite , and I give them the safety speech , get set up , show them basic gun handling rules and explain for the thousandth time that day that bullets kill people no matter if it was accidental or purposely discharged so be carefull!!!!!!!!!

They are cool , no problems.....ExcepT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ruger stainless mini-30 ranch rifle and the Ruger 77 Davidson edition in 76.2 x 39 stainless are NEW in the box. Well they were new 3 minutes earlier when they threw the shipping cartons and manuals in the trash outside the clerk/sales office about 1/2 mile away.

Apparently they purchased them about 2 hours ago on the way to get "fries and cokes"
The saleman sold them along with two extra 30 round mags for the mini-30 and several boxes of surplus 76.2x39 ammo

They proceded to go get some food while there buddy who " i know all about these" in the back seat un boxed them, mounted the included scope rings (a 50 dollar value! just ask ruger)

loaded up the mags ! then I guess explained to the microphone his happy meal will need a toy for a girl (his little sister loves those stupid things)

They had the mags in the gun and and ammo in the bolt action as well.

Drove to the range and properly disposed of the trash

and proceeded to give the range officer a heart attack!


When after we explained it several times I finally retrieved a old scope from my trunk and explained it over the gunfire where the scope went and how it is used.......

"so that what those holes are for !" yelped the back seat gun guru of happy meals

In any event they shot the guns using the rings as sights at dirt...yes dirt ...since they didnt understand the concept of the target nor did they have any.

The Frayed marlboro filters and empty 223 casings sticking from thier ears ( no muffs either)
was just the touch to add to the odessy................

NIce kids, nice people , just didnt get it, I was upset more at the dealer than anything else.. I explained about driving with guns in the trunk unloaded might be a wise choice. I am sure these kids grew up and went on to make alot more than my miseralbe 58k a year. I wish them well.

I never saw them again in the 10 years following. I am sure they dumped them for 50 bucks and went to college. I offered them help and kindness but these guys probably got an ass whipping from Mom and proably should have spent it on six packs for back seat loving with thier girlfriends.

no sights , no scope, no clue, didnt even know how to aim the gun , nor what a scope sight was?!

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Quoted:
When a younger lad I had spent time as a "trapper" and eventually "range officer" on a heavily visited public rifle range, east of NewYork City.........
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Gotta be Calverton.


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Marines know how to use their bayonets. Army bayonets may as well be paper-weights. [Navy Times; November 1994]

tag

Quoted: in high school i was on the high power rifle team, that day at the range, the coach gave  me a DCM m1 grand that he said was chambered in 308, we had a few.. so, after a 30 or so shots, i went to pic up my brass.. i start finding all this funy brass that lokks like 45-70 shells.. i show it to our coach, he sayss.. "OH SHIT>>> let me see your gun...  ..DOH!" i was shooting 308 threw a 30-06.. oops :).. it shot well though

Yep, DCM practice in high school.
You aren't the only 1. I did almost the same thing. Only the ammo I was using , some other shooter had boxed up and put the cardboard on the ends of the 8 rnd enblock clips. Couldn't hardly hold paper at 100 yrds.

I hunt in Missouri and one of the guys comes in from the field with his .30-30 over his shoulder. We were standing around a burn barrel keeping warm. He walkes up to us and bends down, I am now staring down the barrel of his rifle. I step out of the way and ask if it is loaded, of course the answer is yes! This is the same guy who bought a CVA .50 cal muzzle loader. The instructions said to use 80ge of powder. Yep he loaded it with 80 gr of Blue Dot! Gun held together, but had a very loud report!   Needless to say I keep my distance from him.

Tag

Damn... that guy that fillled his muzzle loader up with Red Dot...   That thing would have been a PIPE BOMB if he had managed to seat a ball in there.  Would have been interesting to see... from a distance... a GOOD distance.  Best he could have hoped for would have been actually launching the ball and creating a HUGE fireball!  

Geeze.  I'd want to smack that guy.  

I used to shoot at a range that no longer exists...a public range that was in the state game lands. A lot of good folks shot up there...but every so often there was a character.

One guy, probably in his mid 60's was shooting a few benches away from me. He had a bushy M4gery....I had my Colt M4gery...so we got to talking. He was nice enough, we were shooting at sillouttes at 50 yards from a standing position. I have an aimpoint, he had a AO scope, probably a 3x-9x. So far, normal enough. He offered to let me try his rifle out to see how well the scope was for target acquistion....sure enough, a few shots in I agreed...it was a nice set up. He then goes on to mention that he bought the M4 profile because he needed something light for CQB....you see, he has Al Queda living in his apartment complex. He told me that they have been watching him because they know he is onto them. Then he shows me his range bag, with lots of extra mags (typical) and says that he keeps the bag with him everywhere he goes. When he gets home he chambers a round from a fresh 30 rnd mag, flips on the safety, and leans his rifle against the front door. Said that he had been carrying it over his shoulder on the sling to get the mail when the al queda guys were watching and that he was planning to get another M4 for every room in the place so that he wasnt too far away from a weapon. Oh, and he was head to toe in camo BDU's. Nice guy, probably safer than sorry.

Lets be honest, we all know why we have our black rifles....but I havent exactly caught the terrorists stalking me. Not yet at least. God bless him...when I was leaving for the day I shook his hand, told him it was a pleasure shooting and chatting with him and that I was sure glad he was on our team


ALL CLEAR!!!!
Green flag to go take down / set up targets.
All weapons cleared, untouched, pointed downrange.
No drama, we all head out to the various targets and do our handy work.
Maybe 15 guys on the firing line.
Now, the far left is the 50 yard range, about 4 benches wide...the far right is the 25 yard range, about 4 benches wide, and there are about 8 benches in the middle for the 100 yard targets.
Most of us were back up to the firing line and there were a couple of guys still at the 25 yard side setting up targets. Two guys walk back to the line from the 100 yard line, sit back at the bench....no one is really paying much attention because we are still clear, hearing protection off, and the guys at the 25 are still stapling up paper....these guys at their bench sure enough take a seat, chamber a round and fire a shot at their target 100 yards away. The guys at the 25 hit the deck....we all start screaming obscenities, waving arms, and just about ready to shoot these assholes.....all our ears are ringing but the adrenaline is coursing through our veins. I walk over with a guy I recognise that is always there. I tell the shooter, (im a calm guy that doesnt like confrontation) we are clear, step away from your weapons and keep your hands off them....when we go hot, pack your shit up and never come back. The shooter starts in with an attitude about how the 25 yard range is nowhere in the line of fire when the guy I am with cuts him off....."listen, we are clear, that means you dont touch your weapon, period. If you touch that rifle before we go hot I am going to shoot you, do you understand?". We all caught our breath, calmed down, declared the range hot....remained standing with our ears and eyes on, arms crossed on our chests and stared at the asshats while they packed up and left. After another few minutes things went back to normal. The guys down at the 25 were shaken but no worse for the wear.

Some people really shouldnt have guns.

Almost as good are some of the stories told by guides at some of the hunting plantations down here in so ga.  I m sure they are just as terrible as some of the range stories.  Heard one guide saying he got the bill of his hat blown off one day( and some terrible powder burns to boot).   Good pointers getting an assfull of shot and all sorts of general nonsense.  Makes  you wonder if some people really do needa license to use a gun.

DONT HURT THE ACTION ! !!!! ! ! ! !


I can remember one particular person who wouldnt shoot his M1 Garand with the enbloc clip.

WHY !!!!!!

Because shooting it like that is not good for the gun and he didnt want to "hur the action" he claimed that in the national guard circa 1970's he was trained with the M1 ...........OK I say then your an expert right?

Yes I am ,,,, Heck I remember one guy lost his eyes when he was shooting it real fast and it blew apart and "TOOK HIS FACE OFF !!"

I always wondered why the armed services made millions of these single shot guns....

Must have but rough at the Chosin reservior with these single shot 30-06 rifles.....LOL

Memories ......

Quoted: Eposide 3 Excuse me sir ! Yes ...can I help you? Well I just bought this rifle and I put the powder in , but what do I do with this???? (lead round ball) The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun..... YEs .......read it again............ WOW some people shouldn't even own a gun if they are that dumb.

Had he got the ball in there, he would have blown up 4 benches, killed 5 including himself and injured 15. No ordinary k-boom.

Great stories.  Just a reminder there's a bell curve of intelligence among gun users and inveitably the low end of the curve shows up at the range to shoot.

Yeah, about 5 pm before deer hunting opener used to always be a fun time at our local range back home.  You'd get a lot of guys standing and shooting offhand to check that their scopes were still "sighted in" from when the dealer boresighted them 10 years previously...

The worst thing I ever witnessed though was a couple of assholes who were so drunk they couldn't stand up who were trying valiantly to sight in their M700's...  They were there the whole damn day, stumbling from the bottle in the truck, to their targets, and back to the bench.  It was amusing to watch in a way, because they had no rest of any sort other than their elbows on the bench.  Needless to say they were completely baffled by the whole process.

In hindsight though, if I saw this crap again I would have had the sheriff on them immediately.  We actually had to get someone to stand behind them to watch them when the range was cold so they wouldn't just start shooting again.

I think they probalby shot up 200 rounds that afternoon trying to "sight in" their rifles.

Another form of complete !@$@!#!@#$%@#$@%^#$%&^$#&^@#$%  ASSHAT are the guys who shoot from 5 feet behind the firing line while checking the boresighting job on their rusty deer rifle.  The muzzle blast is just something you have to experience to appreciate.  I think one of these pricks was the first to contribute to my permanent hearing damage.

And have many have ever heard this nugget of shooter's wisdom;  "I shoot standing up when I sight in my gun cause that's how I shoot when I'm hunting."?  Apparently benchresting your gun while zeroing is for idiots and pussies...

We'll I was quail hunting down in Texas recently, when I saw this old dude with glass's shoot this other old guy. Ya'll might of heard about it.

Quoted: Some folks that frequent my range offered me a joint... twice. *sigh* The joys of a public range with no officers...  To their credit, they are nice guys.  I just wish they'd keep the drugs an alcohol away from the range.   - BG

Hope that wasn't over at Norry! Was it?

I posted this a while back, but its worth repeating . . .

How about the little old fella that showed up at the range with the 500 A-Square . . .





. . . pistol !

NOTE: This is the no shit truth. I was present and I am relating this to the best of my memory.

An old friend of mine and I were out at the French Creek PA public range about 8 years ago. French Creek was (is?) a pretty nice range with about 12 100yard lanes, a 25 yard pistol range, and an area to shoot clays. We were both working over our Glock 23's and our hunting rifles . . . deer season was only a month away and all of us know that it takes at least 3000 rounds for an ARFCommer to get "ready" for the hunting season. At the time my main hunting rifle was a 1943 Enfield No4 Mk1 that I had purchased at Boscov's for $40 . . . man those were the good old days .

It was getting later in the afternoon and we were getting reay to pack our stuff up. The range was getting crowded and we both had our Ruger MkII's in the Jeep - we were getting ready to head out to our private hunting reserve and bust some small game. Then, about three lanes to our left, a little older fella starts bringing forward his rifle cases and stacking them up at his station. When he finished, he started unpacking his stuff and lo and behold - the first case had what I remember to be an LAR Grizzly or some sort of single shot .50 cal. At this point, all shooting on the range had ceased - this rifle had pretty much grabbed the full attention of everyone on the range.

Before I go any furthur, let me describe this "little old fella". He was about 5' 4" and weighted perhaps 120 pounds soaking wet before a good crap. He appeared to be in his late sixties. He had that particular hunched over stance that told of a life spent working hard outdoors with his hands. The top of his sunburned head was completely bald, but there was a fringe of wild 2-3 inch long hair sticking out at the base of his skull and at his temples . . . kind of a Woody Allen meets Friar Tuck sort of thing. His clothes probably would have stood up by themselves if he had taken them off . . . hygiene was definitely not on this guys list of priorities. He had money (the new Range Rover and expensive weaponry gave it away) but it was completely obvious to everyone assembled that this guy was a real, all-American, true blue psycho. Perhaps the clothes didn't denote insanity, but his constant stream-of-consciousness conversation with himself just gave it away. Here's a sample from memory:

HEHEHEHeeee . . . easy now . . . eeeeeasy . . . it's just a little punch and all the work's done . . . *snicker**snicker* . . . slowly . . don't let little ol' me down . . . squeeze . . . fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck . . . little more . . . . BBBBAAAARRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! (sound of .50 cutting loose) YOU SONOFAMOTHERFUCKINSHITBIRDWHORE!!!! A BULLET THE SIZE OF MY MOTHERFUCKIN THUMB AND YOU MISS (slaps rifle and scope) WHY YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKINASSLICKINWHOREMONGERING PIECE OF SHIT I'm TRADING YOU FOR A SACKOFSHIT MARLIN!!! (throws spent casing at target)

After a couple of rounds of this, he finally gave up and set the .50 aside. He pulled out a slightly smaller case and noticing that we were standing right behind him, signalled for us to step up and check out what was in the case. Lying in the case, nestled in foam, was the most insane pistol that I had ever seen.

After talking to him for a few minutes we realized that this guy was absolutely fixiated with owning and firing the most gonzo crazy assed pistols that money and insanity could buy. 500 Linebaugh wouldn't even get a rise out of him . . . if it was designed for a pistol it was by definition boring. The Thompson - Center was initially appreciated, but soon lost its luster. Then suddenly, while crushing .338 caliber bullets into a supermax load for one of his SSK anti-aircraft pistols, he had the idea for the ultimate pistol that would lay it all to rest. Forever. He immediately called his gunsmith (SSK??) and asked if they would build him a .50 BMG pistol. They said (and I qoute) FUCK NO. No one could shoot it and or even hold it up to fire it . . . they simple wouldn't even consider doing it. The man he spoke to on the phone JOKINGLY said that he should "limit himself to rounds that can fit into a Weatherby magnum action". He was joking, but the little old fella took him at his word.

Research soon showed him that the nastiest, most impressive, and dick stiffening round that could fit into the mammoth Weatherby action was the 500 A Square - - - a .460 Weatherby Magnum necked up to take .50 BMG bullets. He called back his gunsmith and related his new plan. The gunsmith (who by now had probably picked up in the fact that this guy was a loon), told him that he would not build it because no one would or could shoot it. No one (the gunsmith stated) could fire such a device without permanent injury. The little old fella promised proof and hung up the phone,

The next day, he said, he visited his local gunsmith and ordered a braked .460 Weatherby magnum and 20 rounds of ammo. When it arrived, he said that he promptly whacked off the stock right after the pistol grip. Donning a football helmet and a PAST shooting glove, he proceeded to video tape himself cranking off 10 rounds from the bench with this beast. With his hand and elbow still numb (I'm guessing) he proceeded to mail the video to his gunsmith, reiterating his idea for a 500 A Square pistol.

Six months later his local gunsmith called and said that he had received a package. Upon inspection, the package turned out to be a 500 A Square bolt action pistol. It had a 16 inch long bull barrel with an integral brake in all stainless. The black fiberglass stock was reminiscent of the old Remington XP-100 with the pistol grip near the center of gravity so that you could actually hold it up. With the Leupold, it had to weigh at least 10 pounds. It was a single shot . . . you had to pull the bolt out of the rear to load it.

In the shipping box was a note. The gunsmith stated that if received videotape proof of the weapon being actually fired from a standing off-hand position, the gun was free. Otherwise, there were instructions to contact him for billing. The little old fella had never had the nerve to fire it yet and wanted to crank off a couple of rounds from the bench before he broke out the video camera. We were his first audience.

So here we were on a gorgeous fall day, all staring at this beast. The ammo came in a nice plastic box . . . I really didn't believe the old guy until I saw those rounds. It looked like something out of a freakin' A-10. He carefully pulled the bolt out and dropped a round in. He slid the bolt home and applied the safety.

He tried to get situated on the bench, but it was too short for him to get into a position that he was comfortable with. He was obviously completely pant-shitting terrified of this weapon. He knew that it was going to kick his ass into a new dimension of hurt, but it's hard to back out with 25 folks stand around eagerly awaiting your imminent demise.

I donated my field jacket for him to fold up under his elbow and one of the other folks present found a five gallon bucket for him to sit on to get far enough back from the bench. With the front of the stock resting on a couple of shot bags, he took his position behind the monster.

AWFUCKAWFUCKAWFUCK . . . ITS GONNA HURT LIKE SHIT . . . easyeasy . . . <quiver in voice>. . . fuckin crazy ass gunsmiths . . . slow . . slow . . . awwwwwwwwwwww (finger tightening) WWWWWWWWWWW . . . .

BAAARROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Fire totally obscured the target and I could feel a punch from the shockwave from behind the old guy. Shit was blow off of benches for two or three lanes on both sides of that massive brake. The old fella was pushed clear off of the bucket and has lying on his back with the pistol in the dirt held in both hands above his head. As the echoes of that shot were still ringing through the trees we all could hear the little old fella say . . .

". . . fuck that. I'm paying for this bitch."

Everyone on the range nearly shit themselves laughing.. We laughed so hard that we couldn't even help the little old fella load up his Range Rover. It was a solid hour before we trusted ourselves to drive.

For years after that all one of us had to do was say "fuck that" in that little old fella tone of voice to send us into gales of laughter. Sometimes the truth is MUCH stranger than fiction.

Disconnector

Quoted: And have many have ever heard this nugget of shooter's wisdom;  "I shoot standing up when I sight in my gun cause that's how I shoot when I'm hunting."?

There's some truth to that.  I've seen rifles change zero when shot from a bipod.  I've seen Mosin Nagants change zero when the bayonet was extended.  Harmonics, pressure points, weight, who knows?

I get tired of the folks who bring their kids to the range, not to teach them to shoot, but so the kids can run around unsupervised while Dad sights in his new toy.  Ever had a kid pop-up in front of your bench right as you are getting ready to fire?  

Quoted: Almost as good are some of the stories told by guides at some of the hunting plantations down here in so ga.  I m sure they are just as terrible as some of the range stories.  Heard one guide saying he got the bill of his hat blown off one day( and some terrible powder burns to boot).   Good pointers getting an assfull of shot and all sorts of general nonsense.  Makes  you wonder if some people really do needa license to use a gun.

You wouldn't believe it.

Where are you in south GA?  

Quoted: ok, here's one from me. When I was a total n00b my friend took me shooting -- mostly his shotguns of various types.   I shot some with shot and others with slugs.  I was shooting some shot out of her Mossberg Turkey shotgun with a choke when I grabbed a couple of slugs and put them in the magazine and one in the chamber.  I sat at the bench and looked through the scope at the target, had my finger on the trigger when I thought outloud, "It's ok if I shoot slugs out of this one, isn't it?" My friend, who wasn't paying attention got real excited quickly, exlained what a choke was and what would happen if I put a slug through it as he emptied the shotgun. Close call.

Actually, I've done that before out of my Imp. Cylinder 870 choke.

I was wondering why the impacts were so off from my POA, but thought nothing else except, "Slugs shoot well out of my 18.5" barrel.  Not so much out of my 26" barrel".

Durrrrrr.

Quoted: I posted this a while back, but its worth repeating . . . How about the little old fella that showed up at the range with the 500 A-Square . . . . . . pistol ! NOTE: This is the no shit truth. I was present and I am relating this to the best of my memory. An old friend of mine and I were out at the French Creek PA public range about 8 years ago. French Creek was (is?) a pretty nice range with about 12 100yard lanes, a 25 yard pistol range, and an area to shoot clays. We were both working over our Glock 23's and our hunting rifles . . . deer season was only a month away and all of us know that it takes at least 3000 rounds for an ARFCommer to get "ready" for the hunting season. At the time my main hunting rifle was a 1943 Enfield No4 Mk1 that I had purchased at Boscov's for $40 . . . man those were the good old days . It was getting later in the afternoon and we were getting reay to pack our stuff up. The range was getting crowded and we both had our Ruger MkII's in the Jeep - we were getting ready to head out to our private hunting reserve and bust some small game. Then, about three lanes to our left, a little older fella starts bringing forward his rifle cases and stacking them up at his station. When he finished, he started unpacking his stuff and lo and behold - the first case had what I remember to be an LAR Grizzly or some sort of single shot .50 cal. At this point, all shooting on the range had ceased - this rifle had pretty much grabbed the full attention of everyone on the range. Before I go any furthur, let me describe this "little old fella". He was about 5' 4" and weighted perhaps 120 pounds soaking wet before a good crap. He appeared to be in his late sixties. He had that particular hunched over stance that told of a life spent working hard outdoors with his hands. The top of his sunburned head was completely bald, but there was a fringe of wild 2-3 inch long hair sticking out at the base of his skull and at his temples . . . kind of a Woody Allen meets Friar Tuck sort of thing. His clothes probably would have stood up by themselves if he had taken them off . . . hygiene was definitely not on this guys list of priorities. He had money (the new Range Rover and expensive weaponry gave it away) but it was completely obvious to everyone assembled that this guy was a real, all-American, true blue psycho. Perhaps the clothes didn't denote insanity, but his constant stream-of-consciousness conversation with himself just gave it away. Here's a sample from memory: HEHEHEHeeee . . . easy now . . . eeeeeasy . . . it's just a little punch and all the work's done . . . *snicker**snicker* . . . slowly . . don't let little ol' me down . . . squeeze . . . fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck . . . little more . . . . BBBBAAAARRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! (sound of .50 cutting loose) YOU SONOFAMOTHERFUCKINSHITBIRDWHORE!!!! A BULLET THE SIZE OF MY MOTHERFUCKIN THUMB AND YOU MISS (slaps rifle and scope) WHY YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKINASSLICKINWHOREMONGERING PIECE OF SHIT I'm TRADING YOU FOR A SACKOFSHIT MARLIN!!! (throws spent casing at target) After a couple of rounds of this, he finally gave up and set the .50 aside. He pulled out a slightly smaller case and noticing that we were standing right behind him, signalled for us to step up and check out what was in the case. Lying in the case, nestled in foam, was the most insane pistol that I had ever seen. After talking to him for a few minutes we realized that this guy was absolutely fixiated with owning and firing the most gonzo crazy assed pistols that money and insanity could buy. 500 Linebaugh wouldn't even get a rise out of him . . . if it was designed for a pistol it was by definition boring. The Thompson - Center was initially appreciated, but soon lost its luster. Then suddenly, while crushing .338 caliber bullets into a supermax load for one of his SSK anti-aircraft pistols, he had the idea for the ultimate pistol that would lay it all to rest. Forever. He immediately called his gunsmith (SSK??) and asked if they would build him a .50 BMG pistol. They said (and I qoute) FUCK NO. No one could shoot it and or even hold it up to fire it . . . they simple wouldn't even consider doing it. The man he spoke to on the phone JOKINGLY said that he should "limit himself to rounds that can fit into a Weatherby magnum action". He was joking, but the little old fella took him at his word. Research soon showed him that the nastiest, most impressive, and dick stiffening round that could fit into the mammoth Weatherby action was the 500 A Square - - - a .460 Weatherby Magnum necked up to take .50 BMG bullets. He called back his gunsmith and related his new plan. The gunsmith (who by now had probably picked up in the fact that this guy was a loon), told him that he would not build it because no one would or could shoot it. No one (the gunsmith stated) could fire such a device without permanent injury. The little old fella promised proof and hung up the phone, The next day, he said, he visited his local gunsmith and ordered a braked .460 Weatherby magnum and 20 rounds of ammo. When it arrived, he said that he promptly whacked off the stock right after the pistol grip. Donning a football helmet and a PAST shooting glove, he proceeded to video tape himself cranking off 10 rounds from the bench with this beast. With his hand and elbow still numb (I'm guessing) he proceeded to mail the video to his gunsmith, reiterating his idea for a 500 A Square pistol. Six months later his local gunsmith called and said that he had received a package. Upon inspection, the package turned out to be a 500 A Square bolt action pistol. It had a 16 inch long bull barrel with an integral brake in all stainless. The black fiberglass stock was reminiscent of the old Remington XP-100 with the pistol grip near the center of gravity so that you could actually hold it up. With the Leupold, it had to weigh at least 10 pounds. It was a single shot . . . you had to pull the bolt out of the rear to load it. In the shipping box was a note. The gunsmith stated that if received videotape proof of the weapon being actually fired from a standing off-hand position, the gun was free. Otherwise, there were instructions to contact him for billing. The little old fella had never had the nerve to fire it yet and wanted to crank off a couple of rounds from the bench before he broke out the video camera. We were his first audience. So here we were on a gorgeous fall day, all staring at this beast. The ammo came in a nice plastic box . . . I really didn't believe the old guy until I saw those rounds. It looked like something out of a freakin' A-10. He carefully pulled the bolt out and dropped a round in. He slid the bolt home and applied the safety. He tried to get situated on the bench, but it was too short for him to get into a position that he was comfortable with. He was obviously completely pant-shitting terrified of this weapon. He knew that it was going to kick his ass into a new dimension of hurt, but it's hard to back out with 25 folks stand around eagerly awaiting your imminent demise. I donated my field jacket for him to fold up under his elbow and one of the other folks present found a five gallon bucket for him to sit on to get far enough back from the bench. With the front of the stock resting on a couple of shot bags, he took his position behind the monster. AWFUCKAWFUCKAWFUCK . . . ITS GONNA HURT LIKE SHIT . . . easyeasy . . . <quiver in voice>. . . fuckin crazy ass gunsmiths . . . slow . . slow . . . awwwwwwwwwwww (finger tightening) WWWWWWWWWWW . . . . BAAARROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! Fire totally obscured the target and I could feel a punch from the shockwave from behind the old guy. Shit was blow off of benches for two or three lanes on both sides of that massive brake. The old fella was pushed clear off of the bucket and has lying on his back with the pistol in the dirt held in both hands above his head. As the echoes of that shot were still ringing through the trees we all could hear the little old fella say . . . ". . . fuck that. I'm paying for this bitch." Everyone on the range nearly shit themselves laughing.. We laughed so hard that we couldn't even help the little old fella load up his Range Rover. It was a solid hour before we trusted ourselves to drive. For years after that all one of us had to do was say "fuck that" in that little old fella tone of voice to send us into gales of laughter. Sometimes the truth is MUCH stranger than fiction. Disconnector

I can't breathe!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I remember the story about the .500 A square pistol. I had forgotten about it though, thanks for reposting.

Quoted: Quoted: And have many have ever heard this nugget of shooter's wisdom;  "I shoot standing up when I sight in my gun cause that's how I shoot when I'm hunting."? There's some truth to that.  I've seen rifles change zero when shot from a bipod.  I've seen Mosin Nagants change zero when the bayonet was extended.  Harmonics, pressure points, weight, who knows? I get tired of the folks who bring their kids to the range, not to teach them to shoot, but so the kids can run around unsupervised while Dad sights in his new toy.  Ever had a kid pop-up in front of your bench right as you are getting ready to fire?

Bad enough when they do it elsewhere, but at the range... ugh.

Quoted: Quoted: Some folks that frequent my range offered me a joint... twice. *sigh* The joys of a public range with no officers...  To their credit, they are nice guys.  I just wish they'd keep the drugs an alcohol away from the range.   - BG Hope that wasn't over at Norry! Was it?

You betcha...  

- BG

Quoted: Quoted: Eposide 3 Excuse me sir ! Yes ...can I help you? Well I just bought this rifle and I put the powder in , but what do I do with this???? (lead round ball) The nice fellow was sold a TC Hawken and filled the barrel to the muzzle "YES TO THE MUZZLE" with red dot shotgun powder and couldnt figure out about how to put the ball into the gun..... YEs .......read it again............ WOW some people shouldn't even own a gun if they are that dumb. Had he got the ball in there, he would have blown up 4 benches, killed 5 including himself and injured 15. No ordinary k-boom.

Yeah, that stuff is insane.  We burned  1lb+ of red dot in a coffee can with a fuse at the bottom on the fourth of july, it looked/sounded like a jet engine exhaust.  I've got video somewhere.

tag

Quoted: I posted this a while back, but its worth repeating . . . How about the little old fella that showed up at the range with the 500 A-Square . . . . . . pistol ! NOTE: This is the no shit truth. I was present and I am relating this to the best of my memory. An old friend of mine and I were out at the French Creek PA public range about 8 years ago. French Creek was (is?) a pretty nice range with about 12 100yard lanes, a 25 yard pistol range, and an area to shoot clays. We were both working over our Glock 23's and our hunting rifles . . . deer season was only a month away and all of us know that it takes at least 3000 rounds for an ARFCommer to get "ready" for the hunting season. At the time my main hunting rifle was a 1943 Enfield No4 Mk1 that I had purchased at Boscov's for $40 . . . man those were the good old days . It was getting later in the afternoon and we were getting reay to pack our stuff up. The range was getting crowded and we both had our Ruger MkII's in the Jeep - we were getting ready to head out to our private hunting reserve and bust some small game. Then, about three lanes to our left, a little older fella starts bringing forward his rifle cases and stacking them up at his station. When he finished, he started unpacking his stuff and lo and behold - the first case had what I remember to be an LAR Grizzly or some sort of single shot .50 cal. At this point, all shooting on the range had ceased - this rifle had pretty much grabbed the full attention of everyone on the range. Before I go any furthur, let me describe this "little old fella". He was about 5' 4" and weighted perhaps 120 pounds soaking wet before a good crap. He appeared to be in his late sixties. He had that particular hunched over stance that told of a life spent working hard outdoors with his hands. The top of his sunburned head was completely bald, but there was a fringe of wild 2-3 inch long hair sticking out at the base of his skull and at his temples . . . kind of a Woody Allen meets Friar Tuck sort of thing. His clothes probably would have stood up by themselves if he had taken them off . . . hygiene was definitely not on this guys list of priorities. He had money (the new Range Rover and expensive weaponry gave it away) but it was completely obvious to everyone assembled that this guy was a real, all-American, true blue psycho. Perhaps the clothes didn't denote insanity, but his constant stream-of-consciousness conversation with himself just gave it away. Here's a sample from memory: HEHEHEHeeee . . . easy now . . . eeeeeasy . . . it's just a little punch and all the work's done . . . *snicker**snicker* . . . slowly . . don't let little ol' me down . . . squeeze . . . fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck . . . little more . . . . BBBBAAAARRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! (sound of .50 cutting loose) YOU SONOFAMOTHERFUCKINSHITBIRDWHORE!!!! A BULLET THE SIZE OF MY MOTHERFUCKIN THUMB AND YOU MISS (slaps rifle and scope) WHY YOU LITTLE MOTHERFUCKINASSLICKINWHOREMONGERING PIECE OF SHIT I'm TRADING YOU FOR A SACKOFSHIT MARLIN!!! (throws spent casing at target) After a couple of rounds of this, he finally gave up and set the .50 aside. He pulled out a slightly smaller case and noticing that we were standing right behind him, signalled for us to step up and check out what was in the case. Lying in the case, nestled in foam, was the most insane pistol that I had ever seen. After talking to him for a few minutes we realized that this guy was absolutely fixiated with owning and firing the most gonzo crazy assed pistols that money and insanity could buy. 500 Linebaugh wouldn't even get a rise out of him . . . if it was designed for a pistol it was by definition boring. The Thompson - Center was initially appreciated, but soon lost its luster. Then suddenly, while crushing .338 caliber bullets into a supermax load for one of his SSK anti-aircraft pistols, he had the idea for the ultimate pistol that would lay it all to rest. Forever. He immediately called his gunsmith (SSK??) and asked if they would build him a .50 BMG pistol. They said (and I qoute) FUCK NO. No one could shoot it and or even hold it up to fire it . . . they simple wouldn't even consider doing it. The man he spoke to on the phone JOKINGLY said that he should "limit himself to rounds that can fit into a Weatherby magnum action". He was joking, but the little old fella took him at his word. Research soon showed him that the nastiest, most impressive, and dick stiffening round that could fit into the mammoth Weatherby action was the 500 A Square - - - a .460 Weatherby Magnum necked up to take .50 BMG bullets. He called back his gunsmith and related his new plan. The gunsmith (who by now had probably picked up in the fact that this guy was a loon), told him that he would not build it because no one would or could shoot it. No one (the gunsmith stated) could fire such a device without permanent injury. The little old fella promised proof and hung up the phone, The next day, he said, he visited his local gunsmith and ordered a braked .460 Weatherby magnum and 20 rounds of ammo. When it arrived, he said that he promptly whacked off the stock right after the pistol grip. Donning a football helmet and a PAST shooting glove, he proceeded to video tape himself cranking off 10 rounds from the bench with this beast. With his hand and elbow still numb (I'm guessing) he proceeded to mail the video to his gunsmith, reiterating his idea for a 500 A Square pistol. Six months later his local gunsmith called and said that he had received a package. Upon inspection, the package turned out to be a 500 A Square bolt action pistol. It had a 16 inch long bull barrel with an integral brake in all stainless. The black fiberglass stock was reminiscent of the old Remington XP-100 with the pistol grip near the center of gravity so that you could actually hold it up. With the Leupold, it had to weigh at least 10 pounds. It was a single shot . . . you had to pull the bolt out of the rear to load it. In the shipping box was a note. The gunsmith stated that if received videotape proof of the weapon being actually fired from a standing off-hand position, the gun was free. Otherwise, there were instructions to contact him for billing. The little old fella had never had the nerve to fire it yet and wanted to crank off a couple of rounds from the bench before he broke out the video camera. We were his first audience. So here we were on a gorgeous fall day, all staring at this beast. The ammo came in a nice plastic box . . . I really didn't believe the old guy until I saw those rounds. It looked like something out of a freakin' A-10. He carefully pulled the bolt out and dropped a round in. He slid the bolt home and applied the safety. He tried to get situated on the bench, but it was too short for him to get into a position that he was comfortable with. He was obviously completely pant-shitting terrified of this weapon. He knew that it was going to kick his ass into a new dimension of hurt, but it's hard to back out with 25 folks stand around eagerly awaiting your imminent demise. I donated my field jacket for him to fold up under his elbow and one of the other folks present found a five gallon bucket for him to sit on to get far enough back from the bench. With the front of the stock resting on a couple of shot bags, he took his position behind the monster. AWFUCKAWFUCKAWFUCK . . . ITS GONNA HURT LIKE SHIT . . . easyeasy . . . <quiver in voice>. . . fuckin crazy ass gunsmiths . . . slow . . slow . . . awwwwwwwwwwww (finger tightening) WWWWWWWWWWW . . . . BAAARROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! Fire totally obscured the target and I could feel a punch from the shockwave from behind the old guy. Shit was blow off of benches for two or three lanes on both sides of that massive brake. The old fella was pushed clear off of the bucket and has lying on his back with the pistol in the dirt held in both hands above his head. As the echoes of that shot were still ringing through the trees we all could hear the little old fella say . . . ". . . fuck that. I'm paying for this bitch." Everyone on the range nearly shit themselves laughing.. We laughed so hard that we couldn't even help the little old fella load up his Range Rover. It was a solid hour before we trusted ourselves to drive. For years after that all one of us had to do was say "fuck that" in that little old fella tone of voice to send us into gales of laughter. Sometimes the truth is MUCH stranger than fiction. Disconnector

I don't know.  I think I'm arrogant and proud enough that I would make myself shoot it one more time in order to get out on the bill.  Still, its an awesome story.