This is almost guaranteed to be a dupe, but I can't pass up a chance to post it.

www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

LOL Kosovo is teh suck.

115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.

No matter how many times I read this, I laugh out loud here:

110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.

I can only imagine the legendary ass-chewing Skippy got to cause him to write that.

And on a related note

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

I've seen this a while ago, but printed it out for my kid that just got out of boot.

I think he'll get a kick out of it.

Thanks for bringing it back up! Zakk_Wylde_470GM

Quoted: 29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

That was probably my favorite followed by-

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."


Funny as hell

this reminds me of something I would do.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

Shear classic!

The "EAT PORK OR DIE!" in Arabic just makes me laugh so much.

Fucking hilarious!  I can't wait til the next piss test.

Quoted: And on a related note

One day while the Marines were drilling for a security violation at the Strategic Weapons Facility, Atlantic, one of the jarheads thought it would be fun to shoot an armadillo. Marine officers are not, traditionally, fond of live weapons fire that does not involve a safe firing range or The Enemy. The Commandant of the Marine Detachment, Kings Bay, had that entire platoon dressed in their spiffiest uniforms (the ones where the collar changes the shape of your throat), and hold a full dress uniform funeral for the armadillo. In July. In the Swamp. Every year afterwards, until that commandant transferred, the same platoon dressed up in the spiffies for a full memorial service at graveside. No other wildlife has been even threatened by the MarDet since.

Can't breathe....laughing too hard...

Quoted: Quoted: welcome to 19953 Fixed it for ya!

Definately,

142. “Calvin-Ball” is not authorized PT.

Hahah awesome

When standing in line for a unit wide urinalysis, Do NOT sound off with "Think Positive"

Do not tell the CO, during an FTE that lining up the trucks bumper to bumper will get the entire unit killed by a single strafing run of any aircraft.

Make sure that a training area is not open to hunting before conducting NBC training ops.  

If you do the above, check your wind directions...

There are only 112 possible deadline deficiencies on an M35A2, so don't try to explain that duplicate parts on the truck count as seperate deficiencies and end up with 126 deficiencies.

22 passengers, their rucks and duffelbags and a water buffalo, although they will fit in a deuce do grossly exceed the 2.5 ton off road capacity.  No matter what the butter bar tells you.  Doing so will cause previous item.....

Packing/repacking a ram air canopy in the day room only confuses the support mos personnel that think all parachutes are supposed to be round.

Being on a first name basis with a 3 star General works wonders when a lowly O-3 likes messing with you.  

Don't tell noobies that Geisha work at the bath house outside the main gate at camp Zama.

Treebark camo is not DOD approved.

Don't challenge officers to prove you can out shoot them with a 45.

If you do the above, don't embarrass them too badly...

A Deuce is not to be referred to as a 2 1/2 ton army green convertible pickup truck.



These are just a few of mine to add to the list....