Bout damned time.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Bout damned time. (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:14:18 PM EDT

Wife get's pissed earlier that I wouldn't let her start a fight with me. So she started yelling with me laughing at her going "Why are you trying to get shit started, I don't have time for that" So she leaves all pissed off. I've been waiting for this. I started packing my shit. Sick of it. She comes home ready to apologize and make up, See's me packing, And gets all in a huff and starts packing and leaves. She thinks I'm bluffing. My family will be here tommorrow when I get off work to get my shit. Gotta have a friend come pick up all my guns tonight, but other than that, I honestly have not felt so good about something in a VERY long time. Drink one for me boys. I'll pass out the cigars when I get moved.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:15:15 PM EDT

[#1]

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:16:10 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:

Yeah really.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:16:22 PM EDT

[#3]

Please think this over.

A marriage should never be entered into lightly. The same goes for ending one.

If you cared enough to get married, would it be worth working on it if could be saved?

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:16:30 PM EDT

[#4]

time to post the nekid pics you have of her.

j/k

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:16:31 PM EDT

[#5]

lol. It's been a long time coming. I'm happy about it. Sitting here drinking smirnoff, posting a little, packing a little. This is a Good thing.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:18:33 PM EDT

[#6]

You're posting on an internet forum about being happy that you're leaving your wife. Very classy.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:19:41 PM EDT

[#7]

I don't understand.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:22:30 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Please think this over.

A marriage should never be entered into lightly. The same goes for ending one.

If you cared enough to get married, would it be worth working on it if could be saved?

I have thought it over. Little background here.

My wife is a therapist. She knows all about the goings on inside people's head. She's VERY good at manipulating people. Just tonight she tried to make me think it was my fault, that HER dog chewed through HER laptop charger she left out. I wasn't even fucking here and her dog that she left out chewed through her laptop charger cord that she left out. How the hell could that be my fault? That's how she is. EVERYTHING is my fault. Only time she's EVER apologized for anything was once when she got real upset and took a bunch of pills and it fucked her up. I've been thinking this over, and putting it off for awhile because of the financial spot I'm in. I'm almost 25 and let her convince me that it'd be ok to stay home, take care of the house and not work for a good portion of our marriage. Then when my truck motor died (broke a rod and crank) she refused to fix it for me or buy a new one. I got a job about 3 months ago and bought some shit I knew I would need. I feel better about leaving, The worst part is that I'll be moving back in with my stepdad. That's ok though, It'll be worth it till I get back on my feet.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:25:06 PM EDT

[#9]

When a couple in Arkansas gets divorced are they still brother and sister?

j/k

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:25:09 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
You're posting on an internet forum about being happy that you're leaving your wife. Very classy.

yeah, I'm not running to all of our friends talking her down like I bet she's doing to me. If for some crazy reason I end up staying, I don't have to live with all the shit that I could have said to our friends. I'm talking about it in a forum that usually is about half nut jobs, and half intelligent conversation. I don't have to face any of you in a week with my wife by my side and feeling bad that I called her a stupid whore. Not my style.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:25:42 PM EDT

[#11]

Not something to be proud of at all.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:26:52 PM EDT

[#12]

Divorce is a sad thing, but sometimes it's the only thing. If you're sure it's the right thing, I congratulate you for pulling the trigger. Best of luck.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:27:29 PM EDT

[#13]

da-da-damn.

And I thought I had it fuckin' rough for the last 20 years because the ballnchain ate wedding cake on that fateful day.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:28:03 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.

You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:30:39 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.
You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

What was her motivation? Scared you might ge tkilled?

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:30:43 PM EDT

[#16]

'Sounds like it's best to get out. Good luck.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:24 PM EDT

[#17]

1000 posts in less than a month?

That may be an area to investigate for your marital problems!

Seriously I'm glad you do not have kids. I'd feel very bad for them during this time. If it isn't working then get it over with and move on. Many men AND women have gotten married 18-21 and gotten divorces before families were started. Unless you plan to be a deacon in your southern baptist church later in life go for it. Learn your lesson and move on.

Make sure you lawyer up though. Cancel mutual credit cards, bank accounts, etc., or you will get screwed over. Betcha didn't think of that didja sparky?

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:48 PM EDT

[#18]

Fuck it! If you're sick of the shit, know there isn't any other option, then be glad you are doing it!! I don't know why all of these people are dogging on you for it. At least you made a decision that may make you happier. You are 25. (same age as me, and I'm already married) You don't have to be married. I just happened to find a good woman. Get out while you have your life ahead of you. Only thing I hope is there isn't kids involved.

Kris

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:32:50 PM EDT

[#19]

Guess I'm going to take Dusty_C's side on this one. I think I know exactly where he is coming from as I am real close to being in the same boat. Actually, I am a little jealous.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:34:20 PM EDT

[#20]

As you are finding our, relationships are all about control. Good for you, seeing the reality.

At first light, go out and watch the sunrise and take a great big breath of freedom.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:34:27 PM EDT

[#21]

I think you spend too much time on the internet. Over a 1000 posts in a few months?

We are only hearing one side of this story.

Bob

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:34:54 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Please think this over.

A marriage should never be entered into lightly. The same goes for ending one.

If you cared enough to get married, would it be worth working on it if could be saved?
I have thought it over. Little background here.

My wife is a therapist. She knows all about the goings on inside people's head. She's VERY good at manipulating people. Just tonight she tried to make me think it was my fault, that HER dog chewed through HER laptop charger she left out. I wasn't even fucking here and her dog that she left out chewed through her laptop charger cord that she left out. How the hell could that be my fault? That's how she is. EVERYTHING is my fault. Only time she's EVER apologized for anything was once when she got real upset and took a bunch of pills and it fucked her up. I've been thinking this over, and putting it off for awhile because of the financial spot I'm in. I'm almost 25 and let her convince me that it'd be ok to stay home, take care of the house and not work for a good portion of our marriage. Then when my truck motor died (broke a rod and crank) she refused to fix it for me or buy a new one. I got a job about 3 months ago and bought some shit I knew I would need. I feel better about leaving, The worst part is that I'll be moving back in with my stepdad. That's ok though, It'll be worth it till I get back on my feet.

Then best of luck to you. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't something rash and being done in haste.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:38:28 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
I think you spend too much time on the internet. Over a 1000 posts in a few months?

We are only hearing one side of this story.

Bob

I get to post at work. And I'm talkative. When I'm at home I'm on less than 3-30 minute periods of time a day. And at least an hour of that is while she's at work. If I'm on and she's home she's either online or wants me to find something on here, or yahoo. When you work 3rd shift and you get bored as hell then you tend to get a lot of posts. If there is a way to look it up then check it out. Most of my posts are in the middle of the night or very early AM.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:39:36 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.
You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

What was her motivation? Scared you might ge tkilled?

Her second ex husband was a prison guard. She's never acted like it bothered her. Probably did though. Oh yeah. I'll be her 3rd ex husband and she's only 27

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:41:17 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted: I feel better about leaving,

it feels like someone just took a whole bunch of weight of your shoulders doesn't it? it's kind of like quitting a job you've been at for a long time - you try to work things out, but all the bullshit keeps coming at you no matter what you do. you aren't appriceated, and you finally realize just how unhappy you are.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:42:56 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Quoted: I feel better about leaving,
it feels like someone just took a whole bunch of weight of your shoulders doesn't it? it's kind of like quitting a job you've been at for a long time - you try to work things out, but all the bullshit keeps coming at you no matter what you do. you aren't appriceated, and you finally realize just how unhappy you are.

Damn right it does. Little nervous about the future. But at least no one is bitching at me to clean during the day instead of sleep when I just got off a 9pm to 7 am shift.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:43:09 PM EDT

[#27]

27 and 3 marriages. Nope, I would have stayed away after 1. Im a firm beliver in being married once and once only.

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.
You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

What was her motivation? Scared you might ge tkilled?
Her second ex husband was a prison guard. She's never acted like it bothered her. Probably did though. Oh yeah. I'll be her 3rd ex husband and she's only 27

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:43:25 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.
You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

What was her motivation? Scared you might ge tkilled?
Her second ex husband was a prison guard. She's never acted like it bothered her. Probably did though. Oh yeah. I'll be her 3rd ex husband and she's only 27

With all due respect, it sounds like she was worried about you. It takes two people to make or ruin a marriage, the fact that it is her third really doesn't matter. Best of luck to you both.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:44:28 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not something to be proud of at all.
You haven't lived the life I have for the past year. I'm proud of it. If it was a good marriage gone bad then I'd be torn all to hell. But I'm losing something that has done nothing but hold me back. Everytime I try to enroll in college or test at a PD or FD that's hiring she shoots me down, she's even gone so far as to erase phone messages from people wanting interviews, and throw their mail away before I get it.

What was her motivation? Scared you might ge tkilled?
Her second ex husband was a prison guard. She's never acted like it bothered her. Probably did though. Oh yeah. I'll be her 3rd ex husband and she's only 27

With all due respect, it sounds like she was worried about you. It takes two people to make or ruin a marriage, the fact that it is her third really doesn't matter. Best of luck to you both.

It does take 2 to make one, But one alone can fuck it up pretty good. And it wasn't just ES jobs. I tried to enroll in college twice and she wouldn't let me. Some guys want to hold a girl down, control them, not let them have any money, shit like that. She's the titted version of that guy.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:46:42 PM EDT

[#30]

It's so rare to hear about someone getting a divorce WITH A GOOD REASON.

I hate to sound cold, but your problems do NOT sound like something that can't be worked through.

Remember, 'till death do us part'.......

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:48:10 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
lol. It's been a long time coming. I'm happy about it. Sitting here drinking smirnoff, posting a little, packing a little. This is a Good thing.

I hope packing your bags and NOT packing "heat"

.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:50:36 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
It's so rare to hear about someone getting a divorce WITH A GOOD REASON.

I hate to sound cold, but your problems do NOT sound like something that can't be worked through.

Remember, 'till death do us part'.......

They get worked through about 3 times a week.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:51:50 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Quoted:
lol. It's been a long time coming. I'm happy about it. Sitting here drinking smirnoff, posting a little, packing a little. This is a Good thing.

I hope packing your bags and NOT packing "heat".

Nope, If I decide to drink I unload all my guns and put em in the safe. I do appreciate the concern. But I'm responsible about it. Before a lid get's cracked the guns get locked up and the volly fire dept pager gets turned off.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:53:33 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Quoted:
lol. It's been a long time coming. I'm happy about it. Sitting here drinking smirnoff, posting a little, packing a little. This is a Good thing.

I hope packing your bags and NOT packing "heat".

Maybe he's packing a bowl.

He's leaving his wife, not a murder scene. Relax, Francis. In his situation I'd already have all my guns at a GOOD friends house, sold for $1 each with receipts on each side.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:54:55 PM EDT

[#35]

Have you two tried counseling with a third party? She probably thinks that her therapist license is the magic wand to knowing EVERYTHING that's wrong with your relationship. Even people that are well-educated in psychological issues need an outside opinion when it comes to their own problems.

Anyway, I don't know you personally, so only you know if your marriage is seriously over.

I agree about not letting your friends in on it, and I think that online posting makes for a pretty good outlet. No one here knows you. You get honest, unbiased feedback, it's harmless. I've done it before and learned things that some of my friends never have the heart to tell me face-to-face.

However it turns out, good luck.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:56:30 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
lol. It's been a long time coming. I'm happy about it. Sitting here drinking smirnoff, posting a little, packing a little. This is a Good thing.

I hope packing your bags and NOT packing "heat".

Maybe he's packing a bowl. He's leaving his wife, not a murder scene. Relax, Francis. In his situation I'd already have all my guns at a GOOD friends house, sold for $1 each with receipts on each side.

lol, I'm packing all my SHTF stuff and clothes. I drink smirnoff Ice and drambuie and that's it. And I know my limits. And stop half way there. I've had 4 drinks in the past 3 hours. Friend is already on the way over for the guns.

Posted: 9/10/2005 5:59:55 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Have you two tried counseling with a third party? She probably thinks that her therapist license is the magic wand to knowing EVERYTHING that's wrong with your relationship. Even people that are well-educated in psychological issues need an outside opinion when it comes to their own problems.

Anyway, I don't know you personally, so only you know if your marriage is seriously over.

I agree about not letting your friends in on it, and I think that online posting makes for a pretty good outlet. No one here knows you. You get honest, unbiased feedback, it's harmless. I've done it before and learned things that some of my friends never have the heart to tell me face-to-face.

However it turns out, good luck.

She refuses counseling because we live in a "small town" according to her. Bout 60k. However the mental health community is small and she doesn't want it to get out that she needs therapy in any way in her life. Ruins her super therapist image.

ETA. My dogs know something is up. They are all sitting or laying under me.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:06:11 PM EDT

[#38]

dude, you suck. I believe you are going to regret this.

and there she was ready to apologize to. can anyone say 'makeup sex'

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:09:11 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Have you two tried counseling with a third party? She probably thinks that her therapist license is the magic wand to knowing EVERYTHING that's wrong with your relationship. Even people that are well-educated in psychological issues need an outside opinion when it comes to their own problems.

Anyway, I don't know you personally, so only you know if your marriage is seriously over.

I agree about not letting your friends in on it, and I think that online posting makes for a pretty good outlet. No one here knows you. You get honest, unbiased feedback, it's harmless. I've done it before and learned things that some of my friends never have the heart to tell me face-to-face.

However it turns out, good luck.

She refuses counseling because we live in a "small town" according to her. Bout 60k. However the mental health community is small and she doesn't want it to get out that she needs therapy in any way in her life. Ruins her super therapist image.

ETA. My dogs know something is up. They are all sitting or laying under me.

Well, no offense but it sounds good now that you're leaving. It's sad that she puts her "image" before the quality of your marriage.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:14:48 PM EDT

[#40]

Couldn't deal with it anymore. Sick and tired of being blamed for shit she does. Sick and tired of being expected to work for 8-10 hours then clean instead of sleep. Sick and tired of her thinking it's ok to hit me. Sick and tired of her letting her kid jump on furniture and shit (tore the back off a $2,000 couch)that I brought into the marriage but busts his ass if he gets on her bed with his shoes on. Sick and tired of it all. She may have apologized, but it would have been the same thing 2 or 3 days from now. Tired of the making up and apologizing constantly.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:17:04 PM EDT

[#41]

Run for the hills my Man she sounds like an Evil Cunt she witch. Good Luck to You!

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:18:36 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Have you two tried counseling with a third party? She probably thinks that her therapist license is the magic wand to knowing EVERYTHING that's wrong with your relationship. Even people that are well-educated in psychological issues need an outside opinion when it comes to their own problems.

Anyway, I don't know you personally, so only you know if your marriage is seriously over.

I agree about not letting your friends in on it, and I think that online posting makes for a pretty good outlet. No one here knows you. You get honest, unbiased feedback, it's harmless. I've done it before and learned things that some of my friends never have the heart to tell me face-to-face.

However it turns out, good luck.

She refuses counseling because we live in a "small town" according to her. Bout 60k. However the mental health community is small and she doesn't want it to get out that she needs therapy in any way in her life. Ruins her super therapist image.

ETA. My dogs know something is up. They are all sitting or laying under me.

Well, no offense but it sounds good now that you're leaving. It's sad that she puts her "image" before the quality of your marriage.

Yeah, the only bad side to me leaving is that she had a car wreck in april and is about to get a big settlement. I probably won't get to see a dime. That's the extent to which I'm over this, and I guess I have been. I could give a shit less about losing her. Hell, I feel better knowing that I'm back to a point to where I'M important to me. I'm sure as hell not to her. I was just another man in her life. Only pity I have is for her 5 year old son. Guy after guy in and out of his life. He's gonna be seriously fucked up. Kids that have seen that are being taught that marriage is not forever. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:20:06 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Please think this over.

A marriage should never be entered into lightly. The same goes for ending one.

If you cared enough to get married, would it be worth working on it if could be saved?

+ 1 seriously, dude - think this over

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:20:33 PM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
Run for the hills my Man she sounds like an Evil Cunt she witch. Good Luck to You!

Not a bad way to put it, not really my style, but not a bad way. She just called wanting to know when I'd be gone tommorrow so she could come by and get some stuff. I don't think she gets that she came home and I was packing to leave.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:21:33 PM EDT

[#45]

Good Luck!

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:23:26 PM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Please think this over.

A marriage should never be entered into lightly. The same goes for ending one.

If you cared enough to get married, would it be worth working on it if could be saved?

+ 1 seriously, dude - think this over

I have, I made a mistake in marrying her. Our fighting was so bad that we split up over christmas. She begged me back for a few months and one night this past Feb, I agreed to come over and talk. March 19th we got married. I fucked up then. I'm fixing my mistake.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:25:21 PM EDT

[#47]

I'm not quite sure I understand how she wouldn't ALLOW you have a job, or go to college, or whatever.

Not trying to pick a fight, but someone can only make you do something if you let them. Not picking on you - I just don't understand it.

But it sounds like you've figured out what you want - so good luck!! Sounds like you'll be a lot happier this way.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:26:45 PM EDT

[#48]

As a man who believes deeply in marriage, and who has been married for 16 years . . . .

You did the right thing, if all you say is true (and I believe it is.)

No one should have to put up with the shit she and her kid have subjected you to. She has tried to control your life emotionally, physically, and financially. That is wrong. She doesn't seem to want to change or get help. If the roles were reversed everyone here saying "Don't end the marriage" would be saying the opposite thing.

Make sure on Monday to file for divorce, and go talk to ALL of the divorce attorneys in the phonebook so she can't retain them. Get the guns out of the house, and don't have any contact with her unless it is in a public place.

Good luck, and enjoy your freedom.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:31:18 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
I'm not quite sure I understand how she wouldn't ALLOW you have a job, or go to college, or whatever. Not trying to pick a fight, but someone can only make you do something if you let them. Not picking on you - I just don't understand it.

But it sounds like you've figured out what you want - so good luck!! Sounds like you'll be a lot happier this way.

Like I said, when my truck motor went through the wheel wells she wouldnt replace it. She wouldn't let me use her truck so I wouldn't run up the miles. And it blew up less than a week after I moved to here, so I didn't have a job yet to be making my own money. Hell when she left tonight she got all my cash out of the safe. She claimed it was hers. I let her have it to shut her up. I guess when I cash my check it's all hers. Sounds about right to me. Especially since she makes in an hour and a half what I make in a day.

Posted: 9/10/2005 6:42:30 PM EDT

[#50]

I've been married for thirty years. I would not have put up with that bitch for thirty minutes. I've learned that there are some things in life from which no good will ever happen. They will only get worse if you continue to remain involved. Staying with a woman like that would be like my second tour in Vietnam: I didn't have to do it. I asked to do it when I knew what it was. People who knew better told me not to do it. I did it for the wrong reasons. And damn did I ever suffer for it. Get the hell out of there like a Rabbi escaping from the gas chamber at Dachau. Don't slow down enough to consider even looking back.

rk

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Bout damned time. (Page 1 of 3)

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