1. White people are not allowed to relate or attempt to retell the monologues of comedians like David Chapell, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. I've done it, we've all done it and we all fail everytime. Something gets very lost in the translation so please just stop it already. Yes it was really funny, next time just wait and show them the tape. White people are still allowed to attempt to reproduce or relate the content of Seinfeld.

2. No person shall attempt to relate knowledge gained from History Channel shows such as Tales of the Gun or Mail Call as if it was gained from firsthand personal experience. We've all seen the same shows and you look like a retard when you do it. You weren't in Vietnam, you didn't keep a AK47 in the locker that used to rust shut, you never kicked the bolt open with your boot and shot a full magazine without failure and threw it back into the locker. That was a guy from Janes, it wasn't you so for Godsakes stop it already. You also never were a LRP, Navy SEAL or Green Beret so knock that crap off too.

3. Hang up the damn cell phone already. I only wish it were true that these things caused brain cancer with too much use but we can't get that lucky. Most of you cannot drive well under ideal conditions and you don't drive any better with a beer or on the phone. If your house is on fire or your wife has gone into labor you are allowed to receive a 30 second phone call to alert you to such emergencies. You are only allowed to reply "I'm on my way" and then you must hang up. If your phone rings in the movie theater each member of the audience is allowed to punch you once in the arm as hard as they can, even the couple who brought the baby.

4. AK47s are reliable because of "looser tolerances." it makes no difference that Campybob is technically more correct with the term "looser clearances" but far too many people have seen Tales of the Gun where the Jane's guy said looser tolerances. It is hard enough to keep your average guy from suggesting HE was the one in Vietnam with a AK47 that used to rust shut but worked anyway. It simply isn't possible to get these same guys to adopt "looser clearances." We have are hands full trying to get them to know the difference between a magazine and a clip so something has to give.

5. Any person who uses the term "undocumented alien" shall be immediately deported to Mexico despite their nation of origin. Then you will have a clear understanding of what a "illegal alien" is and you will know why it is wrong. If you want back into the country you will have to get in line behind about 10,000 Mexicans who are attempting to lawfully enter the United States, they will receive priority.

6.  Reading about a firearm from books or an internet source is NOT experience and in no way makes you any kind of expert on a firearm. At best it makes you somewhat knowledgeable with no firsthand experience of any kind. For that reason almost NOBODY has any real experience with firearms such as the SAR 80, FN P90, Ultimax 100 or SIG 55x series. So please stop giving your opinion about the merits of them or other firearms you have never owned. Also keep in mind books and internet sources are often written by people who have also never had any firsthand experience with them. If you own (or have extensively shot) an SKS then you will actually have firsthand experience with it and are in a position to offer a valid opinion.

7. California is lost. We are very sorry for it's loss and truly regret that many hot women and decent gun owners are trapped behind the lines. We strongly wished we could save you but you are outnumbered as that is where all the crazy people went from the 1960s onward. We apologize for the wall we plan to build but we fear containment is now the only option. We will attempt to coordinate with the remaining "citizens" to help conduct underground resistence operations and escapes to Free America. We will also be conducting operation "Hot Chick" were attractive females are extracted and attempts at reprograming will be conducted. We will also be directing large segments of the populations of NY, Mass, NJ, IL and FL to California in a sort of "prisioner exchange" program.

8. We are also attempting to negotiate with the California authorities a trade of our "illegal immigrants" for "confiscated firearms." Basically we send them our "illegal immigrants" which they value in exchange for their "confiscated firearms" which we value. The current exchange rate is One SKS for One Haitian. Only the inherenet logic of the plan can prevent them from adopting it. If adopted these firearms will be made available to the citizens of Free America through the CMP.

9. Clones are not all alike. If you own a CAI CETME you are still NOT qualified to offer an experienced opinion of a CETME rifle in regards to things like peformance. They simply are almost completely unrelated and it is not fair to the real CETME. Same goes for crap HK, FAL clones, etc. If you own a DSA FAL or similar high quality copy you are qualified to offer a reliable opinion of the FAL, if your FAL says "Hesse" you don't own a FAL.

10. You are now required to actually R-E-A-D and C-O-M-P-R-E-H-E-N-D what a person says before being allowed to disagree with them. I cannot stress this enough and I have done it a couple times myself. But this just drives everyone crazy so it is now a law.

Quoted: Theyll never pass the senate.

They'll pass the Senate once my Senate Reforms are in place.

Quoted: How the fork are you able to run a business and have time to type all this stuff? BTW, not too bad.   I disagree with #7 though.  I thought we agreed that nukes along the San Andreas fault would cause most of the PRK to slide into the ocean and that was our plan.  When did we change it?

When we remembered all the porn stars that lived there.

Quoted: 5. Any person who uses the term "undocumented alien" shall be immediately deported to Mexico despite their nation of origin. Then you will have a clear understanding of what a "illegal alien" is and you will know why it is wrong. If you want back into the country you will have to get in line behind about 10,000 Mexicans who are attempting to lawfully enter the United States, they will receive priority. From no on, all "undocumented ali*ns" will be referred to as Non-american Americans.

You just made the list Winger.