Would Jesus carry an AR or an AK?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Would Jesus carry an AR or an AK? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:26:23 PM EDT

Assuming no divine intervention
(Making the AR as reliable as the AK, or the AK as accurate as the AR), which of these two rifles would the son of god carry?

I think it would be the AK. Jesus showed in his works that even the ugliest of creatures need love. Furthermore, the AK's reliabillity would appeal to the lamb because he was a proponent of simplicity.
Opinions?

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:36:28 PM EDT

[#1]

I think, Jesus would probably use both. One on each hand!!

--------------------

Adaptability is the key to survival!!

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:44:49 PM EDT

[#2]

Wouldn't he just smite you with thunderbolts or a plague?

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:45:05 PM EDT

[#3]

He'd carry an AR, cause when it choked, he'd "miracle" it to work again! D.

Edited for poopy spelling. I dont want to say the "S" word and get banned. D.

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:53:27 PM EDT

[#4]

I'm goin' with Paul on this one.

Posted: 2/4/2001 12:57:56 PM EDT

[#5]

I thought it was "Jeebus"...not Jesus.

Posted: 2/4/2001 1:24:53 PM EDT

[#6]

Neither...being the baddest dude around enables you to carry the M60. [heavy]

Posted: 2/4/2001 1:37:26 PM EDT

[#7]

M16, american made and funded by the US government.

Posted: 2/4/2001 1:40:02 PM EDT

[#8]

M16 naturally, Jesus is American.

Posted: 2/4/2001 1:52:48 PM EDT

[#9]

IMHO, He would carry an AK but more importantly He would (and does) have strong words for the kings of the earth who plot against Him. Reference: Psalm 2. He was not against weapons. He told the disciples to go buy two swords as has been cited before.

Posted: 2/4/2001 1:53:01 PM EDT

[#10]

Nah, he is God, he can handle a lot of weight. He would carry twin OICW's and use them like right out of a John Woo movie.

Kharn

Posted: 2/4/2001 2:21:03 PM EDT

[#11]

No doubt. AK-47.

As Jesse might say:

It is the weapon
Of insurrection!
So, it is the gun
That suits the son!

He'd use the gun by Kalishnikoff
To hold the whole Roman army off!
But when next time he is to come,
Listen for 7-62 by 51!

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:06:22 PM EDT

[#12]

"Assuming no divine intervention"

How's that possible. Jesus was/is God in the flesh.

Anyone who could calm a raging storm by saying "Shhh, Be still" has no need of guns for anything.

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:17:30 PM EDT

[#13]

McUzi, only you would come up with a post like this! C'mon man! An AR of course!

[heavy]

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:27:04 PM EDT

[#14]

I hope I don't get struck by lightning, but I hope that God sees the humor in what I'm about to say:

What if Jesus could turn an AK into an AR, like he did water into wine? That way, he'd have a few options.[smoke][spank]

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:39:41 PM EDT

[#15]

Neither, he'd carry a Galil! [0:)] Though I guess that could be considered an AK variant. I'll bet when he called in artie it would be some awsome stuff!

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:48:38 PM EDT

[#16]

Jesus was poor - so he would use an AK.

Posted: 2/4/2001 3:52:55 PM EDT

[#17]

I agree with Platform, to think for a minute that he would need a weapon would imply that he was mortal and his followers know better!

Posted: 2/4/2001 4:02:25 PM EDT

[#18]

McUzi

You are full of Mcshiiiit.

GOD, JESUS BEING!!!!!!!!!!

Only needs a CLAYMORE.

It's a Scottish SWORD. and he will smite you and other NON-BELIVERS .. Too bad..You could have been a brother in ARMS.

promised my self I would not reply to this post.

NOW TAKE THIS FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH.

Democrats are a JOKE Not JESUS..

Posted: 2/4/2001 4:59:49 PM EDT

[#19]

Dude,

Relax a bit. There is a difference between making a joke about a particular diety/manifestation and making fun of one. The evidence to date suggests the Creator has a sense of humor:

1. The platypus

2. Sex causes children (think about it)

On topic: M-4 (to cast that first stone precisely) with an M-203 (when you absolutely, positively have to kill every moneylender in the temple)

H.

Posted: 2/4/2001 5:24:10 PM EDT

[#20]

prob. use dual .25acp pistols.why? cause he is prob. the only one out there that can hit with em.

Posted: 2/4/2001 6:10:07 PM EDT

[#21]

He didn`t need a fishing pole to catch fish, why would he need an AK47 w/ 6 loaded 40 rd preban magazines? Cause he can?

Posted: 2/4/2001 6:32:10 PM EDT

[#22]

Jesus?? Jesus Hernadez? that dude who does my lawn? I didn't know he was into those wicked fire sticks! Thats the last time he attends to my flower beds!

Posted: 2/4/2001 6:44:37 PM EDT

[#23]

When I think about defeating evil, I automatically think of the M-1 Garand. No doubt about it. It'd probably be an International Harvester (beating plowshares into swords).

Ross

Posted: 2/4/2001 6:45:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Jesus wouldn't carry any type of weapon. These are instruments of death and the antithesis of His teachings that all men should live together in peace as brothers, first believing in Himself and in God the Father as the only means to true peace here on earth and after.

Only sick human bast*rds like ourselves could possible think up how to make these weapons of death and destruction and then log onto a chat board like this night after night talking about it.

But, if he were a sport shooter, shooting for competition or just plinking around at the range while trying to reform mongrel misfits like ourselves, He'd definitely carry an AK and be shooting the crappiest Wolf steelcased ammo.

Oh, and by the way, He'd outshoot anyone at the range by a long shot - even the Marine sniper guys that happened to be there practicing their shooting with their A3's. . . all this with iron sights at 1000 yards. . . but that goes without saying.

Posted: 2/4/2001 8:27:18 PM EDT

[#25]

This gun is truly divine! [:)]

[img]www.geocities.com/crquickstad/gatling2.jpg [/img]

Posted: 2/5/2001 4:34:40 AM EDT

[#26]

Definitely an AR because Mohamad Allah already carry the AK.

Posted: 2/5/2001 7:00:41 AM EDT

[#27]

You're all wrong.

Jesus would carry a Galil.

Posted: 2/5/2001 7:49:43 AM EDT

[#28]

Never mind. I promised myself that I would be nice for the next 2 months.

Posted: 2/5/2001 9:42:22 AM EDT

[#29]

Jesus is a personal friend of mine, and I happen to know that he carries a Winchester large-loop lever action carbine and a pair of ivory handled Colt SAA's. All three are in .44-40.

The topic is now closed.

Posted: 2/5/2001 11:48:32 AM EDT

[#30]

I have it on good authority that Jesus was an Airborne Ranger and would therefore carry the M4.

Posted: 2/5/2001 11:55:24 AM EDT

[#31]

I think he carries a Barrett. Here's proof.
[IMG]albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1357406&a=10112509&p=40093389[/IMG]

On the 7th Day the Lord went SHOOTING!!

(I'll probably spend a few hrs in hell for that one)

Posted: 2/5/2001 1:00:45 PM EDT

[#32]

I think He would carry an UZI!
[uzi] But he might carry one of those rocket launchers.[rocket]
But IMHO He would not carry either...Peter on the other hand would have several different ones. AR's ,Galil,Uzi,Barrett,Gatlin...just according to how he felt in the morning.[:)]
Lynn

Posted: 2/5/2001 3:14:13 PM EDT

[#33]

i'd guess he'd carry an m4a1. i have heard that his (earthly)father was actually a very wealthy man. AND he was married WIth children as that was a prerequisite to be a rabbi at that time. and to add more herasy to the fire in the book of 'jesus' that was edited out of the 'bible' in a.d. 352? by pope constantine - he was a real bad-ass, a priest and yet a tough warrior....

steve

Posted: 5/21/2001 7:33:02 AM EDT

[#34]

BTT

Posted: 5/21/2001 8:06:44 AM EDT

[#35]

He would not carry a weapon at all! The word of god is what he carried. It is stronger than any weapon out there. I think the romans told him if he denied being the son of god he could have been set free but he did not. WHY! so he could save us from eternity in hell.

AMEN!!!

Posted: 5/21/2001 8:13:09 AM EDT

[#36]

I think he would carry a jewzooka. No disrespect intended.

Posted: 5/21/2001 8:26:32 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
I think he would carry a jewzooka. No disrespect intended.

View Quote

ROTFLMAO!!!

[red]That[/red] was a good one!

Posted: 5/21/2001 8:26:51 AM EDT

[#38]

Naaaah..... not gonna do it.

Posted: 5/21/2001 8:45:25 AM EDT

[#39]

Geez guys, he carries an M1A, backed up by a Les Baer 1911. I thought that was common knowledge! He uses Radway Green on weekdays and Federal GM match on Sunday.

Posted: 5/21/2001 12:14:59 PM EDT

[#40]

He would use an AK, no A folder AK with a vert foregrip.....WHY?...Because Jesus was an Abbi.(Anyone here speak turkish or been to turkey knows this)

Posted: 5/21/2001 1:14:36 PM EDT

[#41]

i dont think jesus would carry a commie gun. i think he would proly pack a galil, tevor, or other isralie masterpeice.

Posted: 5/21/2001 3:23:56 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
He would not carry a weapon at all! The word of god is what he carried. It is stronger than any weapon out there. I think the romans told him if he denied being the son of god he could have been set free but he did not. WHY! so he could save us from eternity in hell.

AMEN!!!

View Quote

Amen brother. This is one reason we have gun control cause people will not realize it is a spirit. Setting the stage for the anti christ.

Jesus never carried a sword like his deciples. He never came to this earth to fight. I do believe that he would agree with our right to bear arms. Lets face it the founding fathers said these rights were god given.

Posted: 5/21/2001 3:28:31 PM EDT

[#43]

I'd hve to say He'd be packing a GE mini-gun. The baddest dude needs the baddest weapons.

Posted: 5/21/2001 4:08:06 PM EDT

[#44]

If he were alive today he wouldn't be allowed to buy a gun because he had no permanent address, hung out with subversives and had a criminal record.

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:18:49 PM EDT

[#45]

Whatever he carried, it would be scoped, with huge CROSShairs!

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:36:10 PM EDT

[#46]

He just might not be packing heat.
Cause he's got back-up !!![url]http://community.webshots.com/uploads/13902497.jpg?5964[/url]

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:37:00 PM EDT

[#47]

Hmmm...WWJS? (what would Jesus shoot?) That's a toughie.

On one hand, the AK is the tool of godless communists.

OTOH, the AR is the tool of the capitalists and Caesar's descendants. But that's better than being an atheist, so I say AR.

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:52:36 PM EDT

[#48]

Last time I looked the Israelies were toting M-16's and FAL's. They are the chosen people and the AR variant is the chosen rifle. Im sure Jesus played a hand in their weapons choice. With GOD and the AR for us!! Who can be against us!!! Motivate me BAYBEEE!!! 03 out!!! [sniper]

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:56:17 PM EDT

[#49]

dumb post and thread

Posted: 5/21/2001 5:57:56 PM EDT

[#50]

Jesus was no dummy...

He would be holding a LEGP!!!

And kicking ASS!!!!

My Man!!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Would Jesus carry an AR or an AK? (Page 1 of 2)

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