There's no reason not to get both (such a cop-out answer I know). If both you and your wife are showing interest in the SCAR-17 then I'd say get it first, after that if you still have interest in the Grendel you can save up for it over time.
I'm not sure why FN gets a bad customer service rap, they've been very helpful to me the few times I've had to call. I've only called once about my Scar-17, I had lost some parts (purely my idiocy, no other excuse) in the lower and I asked if I could buy some, they said no because frankly they didn't have any stateside at the time. (This was a while back so I don't know if the factory parts situation has improved) I wasn't S.O.L. though because Midwestgunworks had the parts in stock that I needed so I ordered them and was on my way, I didn't feel they were particularly overpriced either.
I only have a modest 400 or so rounds through my SCAR currently but it's a very nice and well built firearm, there's some finish wear on the bolt carrier but nothing to get excited about. My Armalite DEF-10 appeared to have more "wear" put on the BCG after 10 rounds. Wear and tear are just the cost of doing business, firearms that get used a lot (and I mean A LOT) will have to have parts replaced, it's the nature of the beast. Think of replacing a BCG as replacing a transmission in your car, you HOPE it won't happen the minute you drive it off the parking lot but if it does, it's not like you're just NOT going to replace it.. you need to get to work. (That's what your warranty is for though, which is why I prefer to buy new versus used for most firearms).
Due to the nature of their operation, the SCAR-17 has a reputation for being an optics eater, so in the best interest of a DMR, spend a little extra and get something nice with a good warranty, pass by that "cheap but now" option for sure, a nice rifle deserves a nice optic.
Generally the terms "DMR" and SBR" don't fit in the same sentence, so you'll need to decide what you're going to be doing with it. Personally I don't see the point of shortening the .308 barrel below 16", there are much more efficient cartridges out there to SBR and you don't end up with a neutered cartridge with a huge fireball (unless that's what you want).
I think in the end the SCAR will be more versatile and will have more support than the 6.5G in the long run.
That said..
I'm about to purchase a 24" 6.5G AA upper myself (I figure why not go with the cartridge designer and have some factory support if I have issues) and see what I can do with it, though honestly I don't have as much room to shoot it as I would like. I'll probably pair it with a spare LMT lower and eventually buy a .458 Socom upper to put in a fitted pelican case I've had under my bed for a few months so I can carry around the best of both worlds, a high BC laser and a hog dropping thumper.