I could use some advice.

For some time I've had it in my mind that I need a flintlock fowler. Found just what I was looking for listed for sale in an on-line forum, of which I am a new member, at a fair price I could afford. Contacted the seller with a few questions and after a bit of back and forth, I said I would take it provided I had the option to return it for a refund after I had a chance to look it over, with the assurance that I would not fool with it or fire it. The seller declined. That being the case, I withdrew my offer. Now, I'm second guessing myself with desire working hard to trump caution.  What would you have done?

Your in Alaska, Lots of extra shipping.  You might just have to bite the bullet and order from someplace like Track of the Wolf, and pay their slightly higher than normal prices to ensure you get an inspection period.  

Or buy local, I realize Alaska is huge, but there are muzzleloading club shoots and rendevous up there that you can attend and shop for a gun.

Yeah, you're right.  After thinking about it for a spell,  I guess what I'm trying to settle in my mind is whether or not asking for an inspection periond was out of line. I don't believe it was.

I don't think asking for an 3+/- day inspection period is out of line.  After all, the craftsmanship, skilled labor, and expensive high quality parts are generally the reasons that support the high price for a handmade flintlock.  You should be able to confirm that it meets your expectations.  However, its the prerogative of the seller to agree to it. They may have desired a quicker sale. The gun may have been built by a known maker who's name is enough that the gun will sell itself and the seller may assume that.  I'm not sure if your possible location in Alaska is factor or not, you would know better.
good luck.