I have 2 guns that I think will fit the bill

S&W 351c  22 magnum.or

S&W 642.

The 351 is 8 shot with little to no recoil.
Not sure about the effectiveness of the 22 mag out of the short barrel.

The 642 is the one I am thinking about but am concerned the recoil of even standard 38 special may be too much to handle.

What would be your minimum round that you would be comfortable using for HD?
I was thinking 148gr Wadcutter.  Slow but with a can shape I tight be decent.
My other thought is to load it down to 38 Short Colt ballistics.

Thanks in advance

We have rules....

I wasn't aware this was GD.  I thought this was a technical forum.

I would appreciate an answer that addresses the question.

You are absolutely correct.  It is the thread below yours that is in GD.  My horizontal alignment abilities appear to be impaired.  My apologies, and carry on.

Even the daintiest woman can handle a 38

Here's the trick. Teach her this simple and easy to remember saying:

"Tight, Sight, Fight"

Tight grip, line up sights, engage bad-guy

It's defensive handgun made simple

Always let the woman pick the gun as long as it's reliable.

People will poo 22 mag and 22 but it beats talking.  

Took my wife quite a while to get past recoil of anything but a 22.

Rules.

And my wife shoots a G17 better than a Ruger Sr22 for some reason. Don't assume smaller is better (Not to suggest that people tell you that )

Have her try both for comfort purposes. Also you shouldn't be the one teaching. Find a class for her.

I couldn't tell from your original post if your wife is an accomplished pistol shooter if not.

I'm of the belief that everyone should learn to shoot on a 22 LR.  No recoil and no muzzle blast.  They should wear ear plugs and ear muffs so that they don't develop a flinch from the sound.  Outside range with no one else shooting is the best environment.  Eye protection and no open clothing, so no hot brass burns.  Keep shooting 22 LR until they're comfortable and competent.

Once that is accomplished, I take a variety of pistols in 22 LR, .380, 38 Special, 9MM, etc. and let the person decide what they are comfortable shooting.

I did this with my daughter and she ended up choosing a Springfield XD tactical in 9MM, which pleasantly surprised me.

Not even close.  I am having to teach her how the sights work.  Let alone how you just need to pull the trigger to fire it.

This.

Female does NOT automatically mean "small gun"

She should get some training at a Lady's handgun course, then find an appropriate pistol that fits her requirements.

That is exactly what I was thinking.

The suggestion to find a trainer other than me is probably an excellent idea also.

START HER ON A .22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU SHOOT INDOORDS, HAVE HER WEAR EARPRO PLUS EARPLUGS.



I mad the mistake of not doing either one of those and it hasn't helped my wife want to shoot more.  Learn from my mistakes.  The first time I took her to the range, my friend had a .44 magnum rapid firing it indoors.  He's kind of a wild man.  We were in the bay right next to the wall.  It was brutal and she didn't go back for years.  Even I was like, dude......  Give me a headache why don't you.  

And then once she did try again I had her shooting a .38 Colt Detective special with wadcutters and even that left a mark on her hand.  HOW?  I don't know.  But it did.  

Last time we went shot shot a .22 pistol, did very well and liked it.  And she's shot a 10/22 before and did fine with that.  But it's taken me years to undo the stupidity I did when I was young and wanted her to shoot with me.  She had ear problems growing up so that made it worse.  And even the last time we went, nobody was shooting and then when she went in to shoot with me, some guy started rapid firing his 9mm.  And even that was kind of making her wince.  I mostly shoot outdoors but that particular time we went indoors and it's just a lot louder in there.  Of course you know that.  


Anyways......  An AR isn't a bad choice either.  I think it's easier to be accurate with them.   But weight can be an issue and running it properly.  Loading, etc.  


Your wife might not be as dainty as mine though.....  I'm just saying start slow and easy and let her decide if she wants to move up to more powerful.  

Now my Mom, she shoots her .38 special BodyGuard pretty darn well, with very little practice.  And isn't overly squeamish or dainty.  She doesn't like to shoot a lot.  But she's not overly scared of it.  Except she prefers the snubby because when she had a M&P 9mm full size, she claimed it recoiled a lot and didn't like the brass bouncing off the walls indoors.  It's funny because a lot of recoil in that gun, I don't see it.  But it's her perception.

Yup... the gun she will use is better then the hand cannon she won't touch. My wife too a long time to step up from a 22lr to a 32acp. Then with life and circumstances she hasn't been to the range in years. I much rather her send 10rds of 22 mini mags down at a someone that shouldn't be here then yelling at them with my fnx tactical still in the lock box. Also believe it or not most women take instructions better from someone other then the spouse. Meaning letting her go through a basics course with other women might help be a huge step forward before you and her go to the range. I definitely suggest renting some. Let her try different ones and see what she likes and what she can manipulate. My wife couldn't rack 90% of semi auto above light 22lr springed semis.

Get her a bigger gun. Small revolvers are definitely not the easiest guns to shoot. A larger gun with a smaller grip is a better option imo. My girlfriend shoots my .45 1911 quite well. I think you should try something like a 9mm 1911 that is a heavy pistol in a mild caliber. Or if you're looking for a revolver, maybe something like a s&w 625. Even an old model 10 s&w would be easier to shoot than a 642

If she is a new shooter, why are you even considering having her shoot an airweight J frame. I love J frames but I haven't found a new shooter who does.

I would recommend her start with a full size 22 pistol. Then a full size 9mm pistol or 38 revolver. You want it to be an enjoyable experience for her. She won't like it if the recoil hurts her hands and she can't hit the target.

Just my 2 cents.

For home defense I'd recommend against a J frame. Small, and a heavy double action pull. As others have already posted, the best thing you could do is let her try multiple guns (I'd recommend 9mm or .45 service pistols), and let her pick a favorite.

^ this. My wife just recently got her permit and goes to the range quite regularly with me,
but is still really only comfortable shooting her SR22, so I am going to get her an LCR .22 magnum.
better than nothing, and she's quite accurate with the SR22.

I agree with this, my 22 year old daughter is 5ft 2in and about 125#  she shoots the full size 1911 .45 the best out of all my guns... when she comes to visit she says " dad, where's my .45"

I'll also say consider a bigger gun.

The J-frame would be a good option for concealed carry, not an issue if just for home defense.

depending on children/storage concerns, I'd look into a shotgun.  Even a .410 would likely do more damage than a pistol, easier to aim, easy to shoot, more intimidating (I think women would be more likely to freeze up and not actually be able to shoot someone if it came down to it).

Also, my wife does very well shooting my H&K Mk23.  Huge gun, but the weight really cuts down on recoil.  A full size, metal frame 9mm would have low recoil, or even a full size revolver in .38 if you want the simpler manual of arms.

My wife has only been to the range with me a few times.  We went straight to a 9mm and she had zero issues, however she's also not a weak woman strength wise.  One thing that did help was getting, and you're gonna laugh, a gas blow back airsoft gun.  Her sight alignment and fundamentals improved drastically as well as her speed.  She's not as fast as me, but she's very fast for someone who doesn't really get to do any live fire practice.  

Good point.  The Beretta one is light too.

Instead of asking a bunch of people that have never even seen your wife, take her out and let her decide.

I think it is a good idea to ask others and get their opinions.   Some have been in the same situation and have great insight from their own experience.

Yeah, I kind of wished I would've had people to ask what I should do with my wife in the beginning.  Cuz more than likely someone would've told me to start her off on a .22.

Rent a .22mag first before buying one.

I had a short barreled .22mag, was the loudest gun I owned.

Home defense could involve shooting with no ear protection.

The report might hurt her proficiency.

Good Luck

CZ Scorpion Evo.

Get her into shooting (with a .22), then let her work on duty caliber handgun stuff if she decides she likes the hobby.  If she's not into it, she probably won't become proficient enough to really handle a fullsize duty grade handgun.

This might be the best suggestion yet. Going to rent a couple of different carbines at the range.  With the low recoil and less muzzle blast that may be the perfect idea.