Any body else have issues with these?  I've got two that go with FF forends I got at a clearance sale.  I can't get either of them to line up for a gas tube.  The last hole I can get to line up is still loose.  About 3 degrees later it's hand tight and 80 ft/lbs only gets it another degree or two.  
     The Hogue rep says to stay away from shims because I "shouldn't" need them.  But her go-to suggestion is a gun smith.  
Any  suggestions?

Nothing wrong with using shims. I've had to use them several times, even after properly "seasoning" the threads.
Some barrel nuts are less forgiving than others when it comes to how much actual movement of the nut there is in the 35 to 80 ft lb range.

Use shims.  All they do is take up a small amount of rotation, while giving you the tightness you need.  But, you should be able to torque it to the minimum, and have plenty of room to rotate to the next tube slot - it should not overtorque it, but I'd keep the torque wrench on just to make sure.

Are your threads clean and lubricated?  And have you calculated for the barrel nut wrench offset?  May have an impact on it in one direction or another.

*cough* Dremel *cough*