What length gas system do you have on that rifle? What length barrel? (16" barrel with a pistol gas system?)
With the scratches and the stretching of the cases, it sounds like the rifle is cycling a bit too quickly with the hotter round. ie. trying to extract the case before the chamber pressure has dropped sufficiently. Are you also seeing bending of the case rim where the extractor is pulling on it? I believe this would also correlate to the bolt jam and the short stroke issue. Too much energy is being spent trying to pull a case that this still expanded against the chamber walls.
If you want to shoot the hotter loads, I would look into slowing down the cycle timing with a heavier buffer, longer gas tube, (one of the ones that wraps around the barrel) or possibly an adjustable gas block.
The flattened primer, while it indicates the pressures are up there, is not necessarily an indicator or over pressure or an ammo problem, especially if the primer pocket is on the high side of its size tolerance. When the primers start to extrude back into the firing pin hole is a good indicator things are getting a little too hot.
Some of the others with more experience may have other ideas or thoughts. Just the first things I'd look at.