Subject says it all.  Spent 4 years in the infantry, just got out a couple weeks ago.  If anybody has some answers, thank you in advance...

When people say "thank you for your service," what am I supposed to reply with?  For some reason, that phrase just makes me feel weird...
Is it just me, or is the first month or so of "freedom" fucking scary?  Like, I'm not sure what to do with myself.  Is this normal?
Did anybody tend to dislike everyone else, and think that civilians would never understand what it is like to do what you did?  Is this me being a pretentious ass, or is that a thing?
Do the people who say shit like "that's cool that you were infantry, but my cousin is/was SF" piss you off to no end?
Last of all, and the biggest one...  Do you want to fucking choke the people who ask how many people you killed?

I think this is just normal adjustment shit, but I just want to make sure I'm not being a cocksucker about this stuff.

Thanks again for any advice/answers...

It's all perfectly normal.

Congrats. Tyfys.  Welcome back to the civilian world.

I tell them they're very welcome.  Some times I remind them to keep paying their taxes.

Been to the VA yet?  Check out your American Legion/VFW halls.  Some of them are non-smoking, I hear.

Little bit of both.

Getting back into civilian life can be a challenge, but for yours and everybody else's sake, you need to use your mental powers to re-integrate and not become the bull in the china closet. I guess what I'm saying is sheepdog shouldn't nip at the sheep. The shepherd does not approve. I promise you that things will get better as time goes.

Oh, and I'm saying that knowing that I often should learn to take my own advice. Some of us for years afterward have to be self aware of this dynamic and find we're most comfortable around other vets or, as in my case, get into lines of work where they're working with other vets on a daily basis and tend to keep them as friends.

Also, you touch on something that has bothered me for a long time. That is, often what you're going though is misdiagnosed as PTSD, when all that's really happening is that the poor dude simply needs some time and mental gymnastics to re-adjust to civilian life. Difficulty reintegrating with civilians is normal and far different than having a traumatic experience, like  watching your buddy's head get evaporated.

I wouldn't go down the "official" fed.gov (diagnosis, disability etc.) PTSD road regardless. I'm nearly sure it'll one day be a scarlet letter - possibly used to take your guns away or deny clearances etc. They promise up and down now that it won't happen, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop - like some vet shooting up a school or something. Even if you have some form of it, whatever "it" is, your mind is extremely resilient and can get over just about anything - especially if you put your big-boy pants on.

TYFS- answer with something witty but respectful- ex.- Thank you for noticing, its just what we do, or something like that. As for the first month or whatever, I retired and still live in the area I retired from, and worked at a gun shop the first year after I got out to kind of chill and get my VA clusterfuck in order, so I was still seeing the same people every day, except I didn't need to get a haircut any more lol. I still live in the same house I lived in when I was on active duty 4 years ago, so I still find green buttons in the couch cushions, odd pieces of 550 cord in the garage, old pin on rank in the kitchen junk drawer, etc., my point being that I didn't make a "normal" transition, and probably still haven't.  Your cousin was/is in SF? Answer: "Its obviously in your blood. What stopped you from stepping up?" (In this case its ok to bruise feelings) How many people have you killed? When some video game warrior or whatever asks me this, I look them dead in the eye and say "guess". If that answer is more than 0, I answer with "If that's what you think it is, then you may want to think before you start asking jackass questions to someone who you obviously believe is capable of such a thing". If the answer is 0, they get the same answer followed by "Wrong"- whether its true or not. Fuck 'em. Maybe they can learn a lesson in manners. Compared to MOST Veterans (especially those who served for REAL- like grunts) MOST civilians are whinny little bitches who will never understand the simple pleasures like getting your favorite MRE, or spending a week in the field with no sleep and a heavy ass ruck, but feeling lucky that you didn't get rained on the whole time. This is normal shit. Try to be patient with those who deserve patience, screw the rest of them -YMMV.

I respond with. Thank you for yours
It's normal
Normal and somewhat pretentious, but you'll get over it.
Yes. Then I call them a pussy for not being a man like their cousin.
Nope. I ask them how many times they let their girlfriend shove a dildo up their ass or jerk off to their moms picture.

It's all normal adjustment shit.

Yes its normal we all go through it.  Look into going to college or get a trade using the post 9/11 gi-bill.  It keeps your mind occupied while you gather yourself.  Keep moving forward.

These are all normal things you're dealing with.  When I got back from overseas, I remember getting really pissed at the people in line commenting about how long the line was at the grocery store, when I was used to waiting in line for 20 minutes to get chow.  It's amazing the subtle little things that will piss you off, that normally wouldn't bother you.  Anyway, I'm getting side tracked.  The point is, a period of adjustment is normal, and things will seem more "normal" as time goes on.

Oh, and when people thank you for you service, just say you're welcome.  Too easy.

I usually just say welcome, to the thanks for your service statement.
Ignore the stupid questions, and when they bring up the "my uncle/brother/cousin was some SF type, I usually ask oh yeah.. and what did you do in the military? Which again usually just shuts them up.
Hang in there transition takes time. All in all your feelings are totally normal for returning back to civilian life.

Thanks again everybody.  I just needed to make sure I wasn't losing my fucking mind.  

Oh, and update...
I signed up for college, and have gone back to building custom kitchen/bathroom cabinets for a living...so if anybody needs new cabinets in KY, hit me up

Out for almost three years, and I still feel everything you mentioned.  I cna't stress this enough, talk to a va shrink.  It helped me.  You will probably feel like you serve no purpose, after having one of the most purposeful jobs there is.  I doubt I'll ever be rid of that feeling.  I cope.  As far as when people thank me, my usual response is, "Not like I did it for free."

My first tour was as an artilleryman, my second I groundpounded the whole time.  I miss that feeling of staring death in the face and giving him the finger.

3rd BCT, 10th Mtn Div
13B
Afghanistan jan 9-10, march 11-12

1. this is annoying, but i just reply thank you typically. sometimes you get lucky and people buy you cheesecake, show gratitude and consume afor mentioned cheesecake drizzled with raspberry sauce

2. absolutely awkward. it may help to carry over some of your regular routine, i.e. morning pt, getting your crap together for the day, etc

3. i disliked most people before, even more so now

4. dont really bother me but mildly irritating

5. throat punch