Do you tend to not talk about your service?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Do you tend to not talk about your service? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 5/1/2014 6:07:09 PM EDT

While I miss the friendships, I find myself not wanting to talk much about it.

Just curious

Posted: 5/1/2014 6:46:20 PM EDT

[#1]

I enjoy talking to other service members about the fun times.

I was never in combat arms though. Got IDF but that was it.

Good experiences for so I like to talk about the intersting times with people.......

Posted: 5/2/2014 2:11:43 PM EDT

[#2]

I do talk about it with my non mil friends but only a little, but among fellow veterans and active duty guys we can talk about it all day.

At school, I only tell people if they ask, otherwise I don't say anything.

Posted: 5/2/2014 4:19:26 PM EDT

[#3]

It's easy to talk with fellow veterans about most things, but for those that have not seen the Elafent how do you explain the smell of fear mixed with smoke and blood.
There are some things that can not be understood unless you had been there.
My oldest son is 16 and has started asking me questions. I tell him what I can.

Posted: 5/4/2014 12:40:36 AM EDT

[#4]

Thank you

Posted: 5/4/2014 2:50:29 AM EDT

[#5]

it bugs me to talk about it. I also get very aggravated when people find out you served overseas, and started prying. I would rather keep it to myself and the guys whowere beside me.

Posted: 5/5/2014 6:11:42 AM EDT

[#6]

I can talk all day with another vet about my military time. I don't bring it up with a civvy unless they ask. Only a few times has someone really wanted to know because they were genuinely interested. Most times people don't care and I won't share. Other times people will ask the stock questions or ask what countries I've been to. I think the best question I was ever asked was what was the funniest thing that ever happened to me in the military.

Posted: 5/6/2014 8:43:45 AM EDT

[#7]

I don't bring it up to non veterans....no need in my mind, there is/was a reason they didn't serve (their choice) and wouldn't understand or would judge me (my sister did)

Now when us vets get together a few times a year it seems; especially after a few drinks we talk openly, just like we were leaning against the front slope again (mostly the fun and funny stuff so we can laugh about it)

My wife has heard some things over the last 15 years, with a concerned look she has always said "if you need to talk, you can talk to me" I tell her thank you and kiss her....and then tell her she wouldn't understand and doesn't really want to know, she smiles and says she understands

Her older sister was a M.A.S.H nurse during Desert Storm, 1st time we went to their house I saw some pictures on the wall and said "thank you, I'm sure you helped some of my friends" and pointed to the wall...we ended up sitting around the table for a few hours looking at pictures and just talking about everything over a bottle of wine; everyone else at the table just sat there, no questions just like zombies...now when we get to talking everyone just leaves us alone

Thanks guys and gals for your service

Posted: 5/6/2014 12:09:49 PM EDT

[#8]

Same here.

I am proud of my service but at sporting events and such when they ask active duty and veterans to stand and be recognized I don't. my Wife always tries to get me to but I never
do.

Posted: 5/6/2014 6:17:04 PM EDT

[#9]

IF I'm the company of former or current (Reserve or National Guard) service people I will talk and share about my experiences readily. But if you have never been to Basic Training of ANY service you will be completely or nearly shut out of anything I ever did. Ok, I'll brag that I was once a Paratrooper, but that's about it.

Posted: 5/8/2014 5:23:45 AM EDT

[#10]

I've been attending the local high schools annual military day where vets come in and tell the kids about their military experiences.
Pretty odd that a liberal community has a program like this.
I first did it a few years ago when my kids were still students there and asked me to show up.
Most of the vets attending are WW2/ Korea/ Viet Nam era vets and are getting long in the tooth.
I keep coming back because I figure my generation needs to step up and help the older guys out
This years military day is coming up in a week or so
It's the only time I talk about my military service to anyone

Posted: 5/8/2014 9:50:29 PM EDT

[#11]

I usually don't. The subject comes up every now & then.

Posted: 5/9/2014 2:45:15 AM EDT

[#12]

Yep.... I am active duty and can't stand the ' let's recognize our service member' moments.... My wife knows it and usually gives me the look if I don't stand to be recognized... Just not my thing..

Posted: 5/13/2014 12:14:51 AM EDT

[#13]

I'd much rather prefer to keep it between my buddies and other vets. As always others will ask questions or have comments, I'm honest but try to keep things in a realm where they get an answer but also get the "you'd have to live it to understand" spin on it.

Posted: 5/13/2014 9:04:56 AM EDT

[#14]

Civies don't really get it though when you mention something. Also, I've noticed when I mention something to a civy, its just a story or something like that. Almost like you're reading. There's no emotion in it. I hate it when they start to pry, because at that point you're done telling them whatever. When I talk to another vet whos been in combat, there's feeling behind your words, and you find shit to laugh about. I guess because they understand.

Posted: 5/13/2014 10:02:33 AM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
Yep.... I am active duty and can't stand the ' let's recognize our service member' moments.... My wife knows it and usually gives me the look if I don't stand to be recognized... Just not my thing..

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I hate when I get thanked for my service; I am not even sure what to say when they thank me

Posted: 5/13/2014 10:31:14 AM EDT

[#16]

I find a lot of employers really do not like former soldiers. I have had them ask do I get along with others after serving and shit like that. Maybe it is I am white collar not blue that this comes up.

I love to talk about being in the Arctic for 2 years and how much it sucked 9 fucking months per year.

I seldom wear and coat in the Indiana Winter and constantly get questioned why.

Posted: 5/13/2014 5:32:23 PM EDT

[#17]

I don't like talking about my time in the service and the time in Viet Nam, no problem talking with other servicemen, no to civilians.

Posted: 5/15/2014 3:03:20 PM EDT

[#18]

I talk about it with other military members, but even then not that much. To those who have always been civilian, I never bring it up.

Posted: 5/15/2014 3:20:36 PM EDT

[#19]

Not too much. Only if asked.
Army,Infantry,11B.
Not a combat vet, peace time 1983-87. Honorable Discharge.
Took me 25 years to get over some bitterness, and get Army logo on my license plate.(I pay for plate,no charge for service logo).
Plate looks GREAT next my "War is a Racket.com" bumper sticker.

I thought I could do better than (re-enlisting in) the US Army, and I was right.

Posted: 5/15/2014 9:13:18 PM EDT

[#20]

Just w/ the guys I worked with... Its no one else's business.

Posted: 5/15/2014 9:21:35 PM EDT

[#21]

I enlisted during Desert Shield but the war (Gulf War I) was over before I finished MOS school and I spent my enlistment as a peace-time Marine. That was cool for a while but once the GWOT happened I don't feel like I deserve to claim credit for shit. So, no EGA on my car or anything. I pretty much just lay low.

Posted: 8/6/2014 10:35:13 AM EDT

[#22]

I don't have a problem talking about my service if people want to know. Nothing is off limits as long as the questions are sincere. If it's an asshat that drunkenly asks how many people I killed they get ignored. I don't see a reason to withhold information from people who haven't served or seen combat.

Posted: 8/6/2014 6:59:59 PM EDT

[#23]

My service was so long ago - 1969 to 1971. That I have no problem talking about it. If I can remember anything about it

Posted: 8/6/2014 7:09:13 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

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I hate when I get thanked for my service; I am not even sure what to say when they thank me

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Quoted:

Yep.... I am active duty and can't stand the ' let's recognize our service member' moments.... My wife knows it and usually gives me the look if I don't stand to be recognized... Just not my thing..

I hate when I get thanked for my service; I am not even sure what to say when they thank me

it's just our way of say we love you. not many people would make those types of sacrifices.

I wish my Dad would have shared his time in the service (WW2 Army Air corp, served in Burma)

I most of my friends that served in Nam have died so I miss talking with them

Posted: 8/6/2014 7:22:23 PM EDT

[#25]

I keep it to myself.

I actually was a pilot in the USAF, and unfortunately there are way too many AF members (serving or have served) that claim they were pilots. I can't stand those that lie so I don't want to be associated with liars. I flew "combat" missions over AFG but its not the same as what guys did during Vietnam or the Gulf War so it just feels awkward to say.

Love meeting the honest vets.

Posted: 8/12/2014 11:07:45 PM EDT

[#26]

I'm still on active duty after 23 years with USMC and find it difficult to explain to those that have not served. Former service is not bad at all because they "get it" except for the strictly Marine things. We have our own language and ways of doing things as I'm sure other services do as well. I get uncomfortable when thanked, but accepted it as most folks are genuine.

Posted: 8/13/2014 3:53:23 AM EDT

[#27]

When I joined the NAVY in 71 my father tried to get me to Canada. I asked him why? All he would say is he knows how a Rabbit feels to shot at and missed. He was in the NAVY during WWII in the Pacific. He didn’t talk much about his time during the war. When I marred my second wife, her father had been in the Marines during WWII. HE was gunny at Pearl on Dec 2 and served the rest of the war in the Pacific Island hopping. When those too got together it all started to come out. Both of them telling stories of what and where they had been and done. I didn’t find out till after my father passed in 2010 at the age of 97 that he was the holder of the NAVY CROSS, three SILVER STARS, BRONS STAR, and a WAR MERET ribbon. Never knew any of this till I got a copy of his DD214 from the VA. Boy what I could have done with that NAVY CROSS!

Posted: 8/13/2014 4:18:09 AM EDT

[#28]

I have two modes, I'll gladly talk about what I did and saw with people who are genuinely interested.

But... to the "bro's" who are the ones that are all "Dude bro, I'd totally have joined and smoked ragheads, you ever kill anybody bro?"

I will tell them about all the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of absolutely fucking horrific things I saw. Some of it bad horror movie levels.

It's kind of my version of therapy, and it's a shitload cheaper. Let them live with it and off my mind.

Posted: 8/13/2014 4:45:04 AM EDT

[#29]

I took off the uniform 37 years ago. There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then.

Posted: 8/13/2014 5:34:12 AM EDT

[#30]

I'm not the chatty type so I mostly keep it to myself.

Posted: 8/13/2014 6:05:33 AM EDT

[#31]

It's been 28 years since I was discharged, I will talk about what I have done with other vets, but regular civilians NO...
They don't understand and never will!

B

Posted: 8/13/2014 8:26:27 PM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:

I enlisted during Desert Shield but the war (Gulf War I) was over before I finished MOS school and I spent my enlistment as a peace-time Marine. That was cool for a while but once the GWOT happened I don't feel like I deserve to claim credit for shit. So, no EGA on my car or anything. I pretty much just lay low.

View Quote

Same boat for me (Army 11M). I just don't really feel like I did my part since I was never deployed anywhere other than rotations to NTC. Came about as close as you can get to going back in when the GWOT kicked off but had 2 young kids, #3 on the way, a very good IT job and a wife that was NOT cool with it. Still bothers me to this day that I stayed on the sidelines when the real deal started up...

Posted: 8/13/2014 8:46:24 PM EDT

[#33]

Talk about it a fair bit with other prior service guys I work with. With others, only if they as a direct question about my service, otherwise I try to avoid bringing it up.

Posted: 8/14/2014 9:45:14 AM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:

I hate when I get thanked for my service; I am not even sure what to say when they thank me

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Yep.... I am active duty and can't stand the ' let's recognize our service member' moments.... My wife knows it and usually gives me the look if I don't stand to be recognized... Just not my thing..

I hate when I get thanked for my service; I am not even sure what to say when they thank me

"Thanks for paying your taxes" is my rote reply.

Posted: 8/14/2014 10:28:04 AM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:

"Thanks for paying your taxes" is my rote reply.

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same -- and if people ask how Iraq was I say "It was a blast"

Posted: 8/14/2014 10:33:05 AM EDT

[#36]

Sometimes.... it depends on the situation. A lot of the people that know me have no idea I'm a vet. If I ever make a reference to it it's because it's part of the conversation. Like if they mention going to New Mexico, I will say something about being stationed there and they will inevitably say "You were in the military!?" I've known some people for 3-4 years that still have no idea. I LOVE being around old folks though and listening to their stories. I'd rather hear about their stories than share mine, but I will if they ask.

Yes...the "Thank you for your service" always gets me too..haha. What is a good reply? "You're welcome"? :p

Posted: 8/14/2014 8:48:39 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
While I miss the friendships, I find myself not wanting to talk much about it.

Just curious

View Quote

No one cares about my fobbit life. Combat printer repair and resolving digital signature issues just isn't exciting enough I guess.

Posted: 8/16/2014 2:25:02 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:

No one cares about my fobbit life. Combat printer repair and resolving digital signature issues just isn't exciting enough I guess.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
While I miss the friendships, I find myself not wanting to talk much about it.

Just curious

No one cares about my fobbit life. Combat printer repair and resolving digital signature issues just isn't exciting enough I guess.

I don't really talk about my time or the times I have been to Iraq or Afghanistan with anyone. Like others I will talk to friends that were there with me or people that have been to one or the other or both. There are things I don't even talk to my wife about and she understands that there will be things I will not talk to her about or tell her what happened to me and my guys in both places. I have sat down and talked with my dad as he served three tours in Vietnam in SF and I talked to one of my uncles who was a MEDIVAC pilot and then after being shot down twice transitioned over the Cobra's. He said I got tired of being shot at and not being able to shoot back.

Posted: 8/18/2014 12:11:40 AM EDT

[#39]

I never bring it up in conversations, someone else always does.

Posted: 8/18/2014 3:06:04 PM EDT

[#40]

My grand children are always asking me about my time in Nam, one wrote a report for the school, a few times with old friends, old Army friends, now after almost 50 years, some stuff is begining to fade away. I'm very proud of my sevice, and even back when we were look at, in a different way my feeling were never hurt. Will gladly do it again.

Posted: 8/19/2014 5:19:14 AM EDT

[#41]

I'll talk about my time in the Corps until the inevitable "OMG have you been to war/how many people have you killed" questions come up... and it always does.

Or until the person I'm talking too says they were in the Air Force. I lose interest after that.

Posted: 8/24/2014 2:00:29 PM EDT

[#42]

My fake stories about being an ice cream server at the PX beat my real stories about route clearance. Kinda reminds me of when my grandpa told me all these stories about working in the circus, but nothing about being on a destroyer in WWII.

Posted: 8/24/2014 9:17:36 PM EDT

[#43]

I was air force 66 to 68 although I was ajet mech. I spent a lot of my tour at Phu-hip army hospital(right next to Tuy Hoa. I have'nt even told my wife about what I saw at the hospital. but even today I remember the smell of death, like road-kill but much sweeter.

Posted: 9/13/2014 10:06:38 PM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:

No one cares about my fobbit life. Combat printer repair and resolving digital signature issues just isn't exciting enough I guess.

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
While I miss the friendships, I find myself not wanting to talk much about it.

Just curious

No one cares about my fobbit life. Combat printer repair and resolving digital signature issues just isn't exciting enough I guess.

Hey man without you I wouldn't be able to check outlook or get AHLTA to work. Thanks for your service!!

I hate that phrase too, BTW.

Usually when they ask how Astan was, I just reply, "hot."

Posted: 9/22/2014 10:28:10 AM EDT

[#45]

I can't speak with any bravado concerning my service. I was a NoGo or Guard, deployed twice as 77L/92F Quartermaster. I never had to fire my weapon and in my last deployment they locked our weapons up in the arms room. My first deployment was in Kosovo we didn't get issued any ammo until the last month we were there. I worked in a small 4 man outfit and never did Guard Mount or anything soldierly other than group PT. I did lead around LBDs (Little Blue Dudes) while they cleaned shitters. The only time I encountered anything that resembeled aggressive action was when we took rocket fire once in AFG and when I was in Iraq for a month we were taking mortar fire every other day but I was a contractor then.

When people tell me thanks for your service, or ask me how it was it makes me feel uncomfortable but I thank them. I really didn't suffer as a soldier other than loss of pay from my day job or regret that I didn't go active in a different branch earlier in life. However, I do not purport that I was 11B nor anything remotely similar.

I can chat a lot of the places I've seen, Basic/AIT, and I can relate to those who have sat in PAX terminals for 12 hours waiting on movement and get bumped when you are getting ready to board, or getting off a cramped, overheated C5 flight in Rota, Spain going through the chow line at the Snack bar and grabbing a beer for the first time in a year.

The "Machine" needs support people and that is what I did, it wasn't glamorous. Once when I was awaiting my 2nd deployment I was with a group of soldiers and we were wasting time @ Ft Benning at the museum and some Korean Vets approached us and asked what we did. The others were Mps and I was the only Quartermaster in the bunch. One waved me off and said he wanted to talk to the real soldiers.

I was miffed but beans and bullets, one cant win a war without them.

Posted: 10/2/2014 2:06:37 AM EDT

[#46]

Depends on who I am talking to. It also depends on my mood and how much I have been drinking, even with fellow vets.

A few beers and a casual, fun, setting and I'll chat more but to be honest, my Army time wasn't that unusual. Yeah I deployed, yeah I have a combat patch but by the time I went to war I went from being a combat medic with a line unit to being an Army Nurse Corps Officer (Officer Enlisted Commissioning Program) so my experience was relatively safe compared to what I would have done just 8 years earlier.

The worst part was seeing the end results of the combat, when the mass cals would come in. I suppose it did have a scarring effect on me, and many of us in the Combat Support Hospitals, especially since I was an ICU nurse dealing with the worst traumas but I still consider myself lucky. I had the chance to bring some guys back that might not have made it 20 years earlier. If I talk about anything I talk about the pride in that. Fathers went home to children, husbands to wives, wives to husbands. All of the personal traumas, the shelling, the other idiotic things were nothing compared to the stress the front line troopers had to put up with.

It is all perspective.

Posted: 10/2/2014 2:20:16 AM EDT

[#47]

Was a long time ago ... I never talk about it.

Posted: 10/4/2014 11:43:07 AM EDT

[#48]

Don't talk about it with civilian friends unless they ask. I'm not unwilling but As others said no one gets it. Particularly living in an Army town, no one gets Marine things.

Posted: 10/4/2014 11:43:07 AM EDT

[#49]

Double post

Posted: 10/5/2014 9:46:00 PM EDT

[#50]

No I don't. I will mention branch if a vet strikes up a conversation, but like most details in my personal life I prefer to keep it to my self and those I care about.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Do you tend to not talk about your service? (Page 1 of 2)

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