My wife of 15 years had sudden onset CP w/ radiation to L arm today. I rode in but did not run the call. The call went fine, w/o any issues.
Good news, all is well, 0 spill, no ST changes. Follow-up tomorrow.
I'm sitting here, 12 hours later, having the worst case of post call freak-out I've had. I've seen some serious shit in 26 years on the streets. I held it together in the truck and in the ED. I was even OK getting her to bed. Now though, I can't stop thinking of what might have been!
My rational mind keeps saying that nothing bad happened, and it's right. It is of little consolation. I keep replaying the ACS > Code calls I've run. The thought of working a code on the love of my life is really messing w/ me. Ironically, there is a part of me that would want to be right there and ensuring she got the best care. Reviewing the call, I was in an amplified type of professional detachment. I was very focused and detailed while managing the bigger picture elements of the call. In that respect, the call was much like any other emergent call. I hope and expect that I would be able to operate in that manner working a code on my wife. (Damn, that sounded creepy in my head as I typed it).
I called off tomorrow to get her to the follow up appt. I'm going to set up an EAP appt when I go back in Saturday.
Have any of you have similar experiences?
Thanks, guys. I just needed to talk it out a bit.
And no, I know the rules but no pics. HIPPA
Wig