Today a trial brief arrived (Fed Ex even) at my office. I knew it was coming because I had called opposing counsel (hoping that he would settle because his case is shite) who was smug as hell telling me all about his master work.

After a brief review, it now appears that said lawyer hasn't the first clue about what he's doing.

He cited to the wrong subsection of the statutes.

He cited the wrong standards of proof.

He cited to a case that has no relevance to the instant case. (The facts are similar, but the case was dismissed on jurisdictional grounds completely unrelated to our case since I'm not a fuckknuckle and know how jurisdiction should be pleaded in this kind of case.)

This makes it 3 for 4 on dumbass pleadings coming out of Denver in recent memory.

Unfortunately, this time I don't think I can get a fee award.

I feel bad for the client of this dumbass. Lord knows what the client had to pay for 9 pages of cut-n-paste crap.

Who the fuck trains these people? Have large firms just given up on basic research? Do any of these idiots ever go to court?

Sounds like my county attorney's office.

15 years ago when I started work as a Lawyer it seemed like the 16th street lawyers gave a shit about quality work. I can remember them actually doing things like interviewing witnesses and independent investigations. I understand this might have required someone to do a little field work. As in, get in a car and go look at the scene or talk to people. (Gasp!)

Two years ago I had a case where a brief glance at a map and prevailing winds on the day in question would have demonstrated to a summer intern that their theory of the case was FUBAR. Also, there was a teensy problem with a lack of a GIA notice.

IDK, perhaps it was easier to just sue everybody and pay my fees than do any real investigation or legal research.

No, would that it were. I wouldn't even complain about those folks.

Both the cases I speak of come from firms that, in my estimation, ought to know better.

Honestly, I'm just bitching because I have to file a trial brief (on a fairly simple matter) because opposing counsel has managed to muck things up extraordinarily.

one day i swear i'm going to file a big "LOL" to some of the pleadings i get. that's it. Just a big LOL.

Half the attorneys are in the bottom of their class.

When I worked for the federal government there was a running joke about state court attorneys and how bad their documents were. After subsequently having been a state court lawyer I realized that in most cases it didn't matter what you put in the documents, the result was already determined, and that the only important thing were the facts and the trial. But, yeah there are certain lawyers who are just beyond the pale in the crap they send to you.

ETA: awful grammar.

I heard when I was in law school that the A students become professors, and the B students end up working for the C students.

I work for my father, a C student (in all fairness to him he worked 2 full time jobs while in law school).

Being a professor wouldn't be a bad gig, except they expect you to write. I enjoy writing briefs, motions, memorandums, etc, but a law review article? Hell no.

Excellent, that means I still have a chance in hell.

No one mentioned it because it is not true.


Its not mandatory that one join the bar association.


It is mandatory that you get a bar card from the Supremes and pass an exam etc.

Let me be more clear. Its mandatory that you be admitted to the state Bar to practice law. That requires. A degree from an accredited law school, stuff and things and tests and whatnot. Without being admitted to the bar and getting a bar card, you may not practice law in any court in colorado.

The state bar is managed by the CO Supreme Court. The Court requires you to be a member of the state bar to practice law in any court. If one doesn't have a bar card and registration number, one cannot practice.

The bar association is a seperate entity that has nothing whatever to do with attorney regulation.

So, no, one cannot simply hang a shingle and expect to practice law in any court in CO.

Its been that way for the last 30 years I think.


ETA: I am a pedantic pecksneffian ass. Sorry.

AETA. I spell like an idiot on my Blackberry.

1. Highly compensated monkeys who don't actually litigate, and justify their partnership by playing golf with gullible clients who feed them business.

2. Often, though not always.

3. Maybe if they get speeding tickets.