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Posted: 1/18/2002 4:08:43 PM EDT
Ten things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares,"…and see what happens. 5. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 6. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’. 8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!" 9. When an announcement comes over the store’s loud speaker , assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It’s those voices again!" 10. Go into the fitting room and yell loudly…"Hey! We’re out of toilet paper in here! " [b]ArmaLiter[/b]
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 4:23:29 PM EDT
why would you want to spend that much time there?
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 4:25:51 PM EDT
I only go there to buy .22lr.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 4:50:01 PM EDT
Originally Posted By LotBoy: I only go there to buy .22lr.
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They have good prices on shotgun shells and clay pigeons, too.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 4:54:39 PM EDT
'bout a year ago a guy in York PA went into the local wallymart with a porno tape, walked to the TV department, stuck it in and started watching it. Not sure if the police turned the tape off or left it play when they arrested him. [whacko]
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 5:34:53 PM EDT
What's a "Wal-Mart"?
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 6:09:29 PM EDT
Walmart just happens to be the largest employer in the US , even bigger than GM, thats who! Sales are over 2 billion so they must be doing something right. I just happen to own over 150 shares of stock. They have made me quite a bit of money in the last 9 years. Look for them to grow by 50% in the next 5 years. If you had a clue ,you would buy their stock.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 6:13:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 6:22:33 PM EDT
Got 400 shares now, it last split appx. 4 years ago. Bought a new car with cash on the split. It's due in the next year again. Buy now as K-Mart is finished!!!!!!
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 6:37:07 PM EDT
My youngest has actually done #10.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 10:47:54 PM EDT
Ten things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time: Immediately take a spot in the shortest checkout line. It'll still be a 2hour wait minimum. Grab a pack of batteries or a magazine while your in line (your one item). By the time that you significant other is done shopping you'll be [i]about[/i] ready to checkout. ........ ........ long wait...... ........ ................. After yelling [b]"Sweetheart (insert preferred pet name here), you forgot a few items!!"[/b]. Your spouse then buts up the line meet you with the loot.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 11:00:52 PM EDT
Ask to see a shotgun, preferably the cheapest one they sell. While examining it, ask where the hacksaws and ski masks are kept.
Link Posted: 1/18/2002 11:33:06 PM EDT
When my wife is taking her time I act mental...you know...sorta' retarded....she has since learned to not walk away and ignore me as that only makes me louder and say things like "don't leave me here like you did last time"...."I'm gonna' tell 'em at home that you were mean to me" and so on... medcop
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 1:58:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Boomholzer: Ten things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time: Immediately take a spot in the shortest checkout line. It'll still be a 2hour wait minimum. Grab a pack of batteries or a magazine while your in line (your one item). By the time that you significant other is done shopping you'll be [i]about[/i] ready to checkout. ........ ........ long wait...... ........ ................. After yelling [b]"Sweetheart (insert preferred pet name here), you forgot a few items!!"[/b]. Your spouse then buts up the line meet you with the loot.
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Am I the only person that this activity pisses off? I can think of at least a few colorful word exchanges that have followed an incident like the one described above. I don't mind if it's just a few items, but if it's more than what I've got in the cart, all shoppers within earshot of me are in for some entertainment. [:D]
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 3:41:39 AM EDT
While in toilet"trees make use of the place,hey,I thought this'was' the rest room.
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 4:37:17 AM EDT
No wonder Baby comes home so pissed off [:(!] Can you imagine dealing with that kind of behavior for 70 hrs/week?
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 5:00:28 PM EDT
Originally Posted By MAUSER88: Walmart just happens to be the largest employer in the US...
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I thought that honor was held by the USPS.
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 5:06:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By SomeGuyInAHat: Ask to see a shotgun, preferably the cheapest one they sell. While examining it, ask where the hacksaws and ski masks are kept.
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Don't laugh, once I was in a Walmart at the gun case when a woman came up and asked the clerk a lot of questions about chopping down a shotgun barrel. She wanted to know how they measured the length....scary..
Link Posted: 1/19/2002 5:07:12 PM EDT
I went there the day after christmas, for the first time ever and I couldn't get any help anywhere, esp. in sporting goods. So my buddy and me grabbed a bike each and rode around the whole friggen sporting goods dept. I never had so much fun in a dept. store.
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