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3/20/2017 5:03:23 PM
Posted: 1/7/2002 1:39:47 PM EDT
"That restaurant is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore."- Yogi Berra "Women are like elephants. I like to look at them but I wouldn't want to own one."- WC Fields "A man's legs must be long enough to reach the ground."- Abraham Lincoln "T'was a woman who drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her."- WC Fields "I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy." WC Fields
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 1:46:21 PM EDT
"Two-thirds of baseball success comes from good pitching. The same goes for good hitting."- Yogi Berra
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 1:50:14 PM EDT
Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry's greatest hits are always good. Let's start with a classic: "B!tch set me up!"
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 1:53:38 PM EDT
"I did NOT have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinski" - Bill Clinton "the President has denied these allegations on all counts, unequivocally.... The real story here, for anybody willing to tell it and write about it and explain it, is this vast right-wing conspiracy that has been conspiring against my husband since the day he announced for president. When all this is put into context... some folks are going to have a lot to answer for" - Hillary Clinton "We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans" - Bill Clinton "Waiting periods are only a step. Registration is only a step. The prohibition of private firearms is the goal" - Janet Reno "I stand in support of this common sense legislation to license everyone who wishes to purchase a gun" - Hillary Clinton "I hope we will come together as a nation and do whatever it takes to keep guns away from people who have no business with them." - Hillary Clinton
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 1:59:24 PM EDT
"You are better off playing it conservative," my chem-lab instructor. So true, so true.
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 3:35:06 PM EDT
"im a statitican proffersot i teach people to lie" one of my friends instructers
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 3:42:02 PM EDT
"I am 50% positive I put the money in my pocket."...my son.
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 3:51:52 PM EDT
"Why are you hitting yourself?"-Me
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 4:09:21 PM EDT
"One in a row is all you can hope for some days." -my Dad
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 4:13:27 PM EDT
"The Government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a healthy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other." - Ronald Reagan
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 5:59:52 PM EDT
[B]I'D RATHER HAVE A BOTTLE IN FRONT OF ME, THAN A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY[/B] [BEER]
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 6:04:09 PM EDT
Your starting to sound reasonable. Time to up my medication - Author unknown.
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 6:09:41 PM EDT
"No good deed goes unpunished" unattributed
Link Posted: 1/7/2002 11:04:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/7/2002 11:05:51 PM EDT by DoubleFeed]
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:34:21 AM EDT
"Emergency is a state of mind. If you don't THINK you are in an emergency, you're not." -My boss.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:34:51 AM EDT
"An intellectual is an individual educated beyond his intelligence." Robert Anson Heinlein "Unless you are about to kill him, never kick a man in the testicles. Not even symbolically. Especially not symbolically." Robert Anson Heinlein - "Friday" "To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child." Cicero "It may be necessary to kill a man, but to incarcerate him bestroys both his dignity and yours." Robert Anson Heinlein "The ultimate game show would be one where the losing contestant was killed." Chuck Barris, Game show creator and MC of The Gong Show FFZ
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:03:54 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DoubleFeed: Spiro Agnew: "In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism." "If you tell me hippies and yippies are going to be able to do the job of helping America, I'll tell you this: They can't run a bus; they can't serve in a government office; they can't run a lathe in a factory. All they can do is lay down in the park and sleep or kick policemen." -- September 2, 1968.
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I'm a young guy, and I haven't bothered to learn an awful lot about him, but dang I'm really starting to like Mr. Agnew.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:04:55 AM EDT
Originally Posted By cyrax777: "im a statitican proffersot i teach people to lie" one of my friends instructers
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"There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics."-Mark Twain
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:18:15 AM EDT
"Indecision may, or may not be my problem" -Jimmy Buffett- "When working, If you have one boy, you have a whole boy, if you have two boys, you have half a boy, if you have three boys, you ain't got no boy at all" -My pops- Aviator [img]www.milpubs.com/aviator.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:41:18 AM EDT
A bird in the hand's worth 2 in the bush. But if in that bush a maiden should be - One bush in the hand's worth [u]three[/u] in the tree. -Dad
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 6:04:21 AM EDT
Originally Posted By cerberus:
Originally Posted By cyrax777: "im a statitican proffersot i teach people to lie" one of my friends instructers
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"There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics."-Mark Twain
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Actually, Benjamin Disraeli said that... I always thought it was Twain, too, until just recently.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 7:30:28 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DScott:
Originally Posted By cerberus:
Originally Posted By cyrax777: "im a statitican proffersot i teach people to lie" one of my friends instructers
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"There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics."-Mark Twain
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Actually, Benjamin Disraeli said that... I always thought it was Twain, too, until just recently.
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Thanks, I stand corrected. Here's one to make up for it: "I [i]have[/i] gone where no man has gone before, but I was in Mexico, and I had her father's permission..." - William Shatner, [i]"I Am A Canadian"[/i]
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 7:43:27 AM EDT
"...the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him." -Umm...I'm not sure if I should say...you figure out who wrote it...
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 8:07:25 AM EDT
Here are some I have with no attributions for:
[center]I can only please one person per day[/center] [center]Today is not your day.[/center] [center]Tomorrow isn't looking good either[/center]
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The only thing worse than knee-jerk conservatism is knee-jerk liberalism. At least with knee-jerk conservatism, you know what the problems will be after you take their advice.
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Ignorance may not be bliss, but most of the ignorant cannot define the difference.
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Here's one I can attribute:
The future is already here. It just isn't evenly distributed. [i]Author William Gibson[/i]
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Link Posted: 1/8/2002 8:15:13 AM EDT
"The trigger of a gun is like a woman, you don't pull it, you squeeze it." My Dad 1966
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 8:36:17 AM EDT
"Cheating is academic socialism. You're giving something to someone who doesn't work and deserve it." My 10th grade biology teacher.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 9:02:56 AM EDT
[b]"Marriage is like a business partnership, find someone who has the attributes you want and the marriage will last"[/b]---My Father Sgt(goingon17yearsmarriage)ar15
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 9:08:50 AM EDT
"I don't drink water-fish fuc# in it." W.C. Fields.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 9:11:23 AM EDT
Originally Posted By CITADELGRAD87: "I don't drink water-fish fuc# in it." W.C. Fields.
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What college did you graduate from ?? [smoke]
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 2:43:58 PM EDT
"I like children. If they're properly cooked."-WC Fields
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:13:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:39:08 PM EDT
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. " - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - J. Danforth Quayle, Author "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." - Vice President Dan Quayle "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." - Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89 "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88 "We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward." - Vice President Dan Quayle "I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the Future." - Vice President Dan Quayle "The future will be better tomorrow." - Vice President Dan Quayle "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." - Vice President Dan Quayle "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:44:48 PM EDT
I'm a young guy, and I haven't bothered to learn an awful lot about him, but dang I'm really starting to like Mr. Agnew.
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LMAO! You definitely need to learn about Spiro Agnew. That'll cure you of your admiration for him.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:48:05 PM EDT
You can't beat me, I'm medicated!!
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 3:58:20 PM EDT
"In America, people worry too much about their rights and not enough about their obligations." -Ong Teng Cheong, Former President of the Republic of Singapore commenting on the 16 year old American born turd who was going to be whipped for vandalizing cars. [^] [^] [^] [^] [^] [^] I like it, because in my mind, it can be easily applied to any typical liberal anti-gun advocate.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:28:03 PM EDT
"I do" - me Screwed me up ever since.
Link Posted: 1/8/2002 4:35:15 PM EDT
"God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." --bumper sticker - Dark Helmet I have already asked forgiveness for laughing at this. Laughing hard. Laughing very hard.
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