Goatee the Conman
(Sung to Frosty the Snowman)

Goatee the Conman
Was an empty evil soul
With a brass crack pipe and a runny nose
And two big balls made out of coal

Goatee the Conman
Is a scary tale they say
He was full of shit
But the adults bit
When he came online that day

There must have been some ganja
In that old blunt butt he found
For when he toked it in his head
Cons began to dance around

Goatee the Conman
Was deceptive as he could be
And the adults say
He could give them pay
Just as quick as 1, 2, 3.

Goatee the Conman
Knew his stocks would drop that day
So he said Let's run
And we'll have some fun
Before my IPO's melt away

Down to the exchange
With fake profits waving from his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying invest with me if you can

He led them down the bankrupt town
Until the market stopped
And he only paused a moment when
He heard the bubble pop

Goatee the Conman
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll have a brand new scam some day