Subject: Headlines for the year 2055


1. Florida is finally readmitted to the union.

2. Spotted Owl plague now threatens Western crops & livestock.

3. George Z. Bush says he will run for President.

4. 50 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

5. Nursing home event... Clinton denies Candy Striper allegations.

6. Texas executes last remaining citizen.

7. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

8. Baby conceived naturally..... Scientists stumped.

9. Authentic year 2000 "CHAD" sells at Sotheby's for 9. 6 million.

10. Ozone created by Electric Cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

11. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

12. Unionized Chinese workers now making 4,000,000,000 yen an hour.
American owned businesses now returning to cheap labor in USA.

13. White minority demands civil rights and reparations.

14. New California law requires that all machetes, steak knives and
baseball bats be registered before January 2056.

15. Castro finally dies at age 132 and you can now import Cuban cigars.
But

16. President Chelsea has banned all smoking.

SHUT UP!!!, I SAY IT AGAIN SHUT UP! THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  OHHH GOD, I DON"T WANT TO BE SUBJECT TO THE SAME SHIT YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR. MY LIFE IS NOT THE LIBERAL MEDIA CYCLICAL HELL .  Thats it I am throwing out all my TV's.

Feel the wrath of my caps lock button...

"Daddy, what is a .22?"

"Uncle, what are Arabs?"

"Mom, when did America exist?"

"Will Tiger Woods continue to serve as Governor of United Nations Region 17?"

"grandpa where were u when the SHTF?"

Listen carefully! Clock out NOW and go see your doctor. Tell him your medication needs adjusting.
DO NOT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY!

PS: Have him define "joke" while you're at it!

"Grand Pa, are you going to vote for Al Gore this time?"