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3/20/2017 5:03:23 PM
Posted: 11/21/2001 8:53:48 AM EDT
[url]http://www.crappybobandnicbig.com[/url] have a story about this kid that crapped on the floor at chucke cheese. Its worth a read I think.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:14:13 AM EDT
That story ranks up there with the one about the guy shitting himself at the all you can eat place.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:15:30 AM EDT
I had a friend who worked at a Chuckie Cheese in High School. Apparently the kid who wore the Chuckie costume thought he was hardcore or something and was carrying a 9mm with him. He took the soot off and left it in the boot and forgot to take it out. Well, the manager found it and fired him post haste. My friends and I always made fun of it by talking about Chuckie having to bust a cap in someone John Woo/Chow Yun Fat/Hard Boiled style. God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:19:10 AM EDT
Oh man, I laughed so hard I cried! That's a damn funny story! God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:28:23 AM EDT
UpChuckie Cheese is by far the WORST pizza on God's green earth, bar none. It tastes like they just spread tomato sauce over the cardboard circle that the pizza is supposed to sit on, and then served it up hot. Add to that the smell of 700 unwashed kids, and you have a powerful force for [puke]
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:45:38 AM EDT
Originally Posted By garandman: Add to that the smell of 700 unwashed kids, and you have a powerful force for [puke]
View Quote
Just think of the stinky kiddies as future gun show attendees in training.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 9:50:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Imbroglio: Just think of the stinky kiddies as future gun show attendees in training.
View Quote
Actually, most of the pro-gun parents I know love their children too much to inflict them with UpChuckie Cheese. [:D]
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 10:08:21 AM EDT
That is some of the funniest $h1t I have read in a while. It hit really close to home too because last weekend I took my kids with me to the Houston gun show and then went to chucky cheese on the way home. priceless
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 10:19:46 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 11:03:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/21/2001 11:42:05 AM EDT by Dolomite]
You guys think you know what suffering is, what pain is, what Hell is - you don't know shit I'm telling you. I did a tour of duty at a Chuck E. Cheese in Brookfield, WI back in '82 while I was in High School. And speaking of shit, my favorite C.E.C. poop story goes like this: One Saturday night I noticed a bunch of parents trying to beat down the door to the manager's office. It became readily apparent to me that this was more than the usual paternal complaint of, oh say… my kid put a 3" gash in his forehead after climbing up the skee-ball machine and jumping off the top of it, or my pizza came out with the words "FUCK ME" written in sausage, or one of your cooks sold me some oregano instead what he was supposed to be selling me, etc. No, these parents were mad because their kids (and themselves too for the most part) were all covered in streaks and blotches of poop. Some sick, twisted little Johnny or Suzy devised the most effective and sinister method for delivering their foul loaf to the maximum amount of innocent civilians: [b] They took a shit in the ball pit![/b] You probably can't believe the amount of traffic that the ball pit would get on a Saturday night, but usually there was always at least a line of 10 wide-eyed munchkins on a sugar jag just dying to get into the thing at any given moment. An attendant was usually on duty to make sure that only 12 rug rats were in at a time, make sure no kiddie established himself as 'honcho' or 'boss' of the pit, keep the 16 year olds out and so on, but even they've got to take their own potty breaks. That's when the copro-fender struck apparently. I can't possibly fathom what is going through a parents mind as they press closer and closer against the relative safety of the Lexan window enclosure around the ball room with their little Kodak camera ready to start clicking away in hopes of capturing the pure rapture, the ecstasy, that only a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit can bring into their child's otherwise mundane and bland life. The waiting, as their little precious one dives face first into an ocean of tiny plastic balls and then just disappearing - disappearing only briefly to emerge wearing a giant sticky turd and a smile stretching from ear to ear. It bends the mind really. What did I do? Well, after the manager, who was almost in tears, placated the swarthy balls of hate (or 'customers', as they were known) with tokens, coupons for free beer, and "FUCK ME" pizzas - he went a-lookin for volunteers. But before he could make the [i]"W"[/i] sound in "We need to clean this up", I was punched out and headed for the rusty Cutlass Supreme in the parking lot that held my Ramones tapes and a six pack of Pabst. After all, I too needed to be comforted after a night like that (well, I honestly didn't care since I really hated that job anyway - I just couldn't wait to go tell my friends the fabulous story that had just unfurled). So, my Chuck E. Cheese teammates that stuck around (losers) had to tip a bunch of tables on to their sides to form a barrier and pick each individual ball out, spritz it with Windex, wipe it off, and throw it onto a pile. It took the two of them five hours before they even got around to cleaning the pit itself - but on the bright side, the did find like $28 in change (albeit shit covered) in the bottom of the pit - the manager was nice enough to split it with them 3 ways. Yep, I guess those were some damn fine times working at The Cheese.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 11:14:06 AM EDT
That has got to be the funniest thing I've read in months!!!!!!!! I'm LOL, tears streaming down my face. Thanks Dolomite - funny "crap."
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 11:43:40 AM EDT
Who knew that chucke cheese was such a stage for comedy??
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 12:33:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/21/2001 12:27:19 PM EDT by PVFD304]
[/quote]"Actually I've had far worse. Come to think of it if you drive more than an hour south of NYC you will have a tough time finding GOOD pizza. I've found a few decent places, but none that were as good as you can get 'up north'".[/quote] I don't care how you do it UP NORTH.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 3:34:13 PM EDT
i will never look at ball pits in the same way [puke] and for the record i dont go into ball pits or Chck e cheese
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 4:15:46 PM EDT
Dolomite, you bastard! I was trying to stay in a bad mood today. Great story! coyote3
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 4:55:26 PM EDT
Anyone remember in caddy shack when the guy threw a baby ruth bar into the pool? some one though it was shit, so they drained and sterilized the pool, and the workers were in white biohazard suits. when my brother was about 3 or 4 years old (i was 6 or 7) he used to take period craps all around the house-particularly, my room. It was like having an untrained dog running loose.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 5:23:06 PM EDT
Dolomite, Dude, you had me about to fall out of my freakin chair with that one. That sir is a classic! Chuck
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 6:59:09 PM EDT
When I was little I pooped behind the chair because I was to scared to go in the bathroom.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 7:06:26 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 7:38:02 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Imbroglio: That story ranks up there with the one about the guy shitting himself at the all you can eat place.
View Quote
I remember that story. I forgot if it was real or not. Anyone know?
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 7:47:34 PM EDT
When I was in Kinney Garden, I pooped in my pants because someone else was in the bathroom. I couldn't poop while they were in there. SO I pooped in my pants and told my teacher that I felt sick and wanted to go home. She made me stay since there was like 15min left of school. Then, school ended and my gramps picked me up. I had to walk home everyday from school (5 blocks). This day was the worst. A lot of kids knew that I had shit in my pants. That was the longest 5 blocks I ever had to walk!!!!!!
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 8:09:56 PM EDT
I walked home from school (about 1.5 miles according to the odometer in Dad's car) during junior high. Knowing this, the universe and my bowels conspired against me in a sadistic daily ritual. Just about every single day as the walk progressed, the desire to void would become increasingly intense, far beyond the point where one is doing that funny stutter walk and wondering if that last attempted breach by the turd out of the orifice left a mark on the undies. Usually the urge reached critical when I still had about a half mile to go, which made the remaining distance pure torture. I'd distract myself from the misery by fantasizing about knocking on people's doors and asking to use their bathroom ("Excuse me ma'am, but you see, I really have to go). That was always bad, but then I lost my house key. Being the first one to arrive home in the afternoon, it meant I had little choice but to crap out in the backyard with my damn dog watching me. Ever watch your dog take a crap, have it make eye contact with you, and you just sit there in some sort of philosphical moment while your dog squeezes turds out of its ass? Ever experience the moment in reverse?
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 10:30:34 PM EDT
too funny!!!! Never liked ball pits, now I know why.
Link Posted: 11/21/2001 10:37:21 PM EDT
Dolomite, that story was killer. You owe me a new keyboard btw.
Link Posted: 11/22/2001 3:18:05 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/22/2001 3:53:54 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/22/2001 4:05:00 AM EDT
[size=2]...Oh man, what a great way to start a Holiday! ... Ball pits & eye contact during the act, OMG, ROTMFFLMAO!!![/size=2]
Link Posted: 11/22/2001 6:55:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/22/2001 6:49:21 AM EDT by gardenWeasel]
[img]http://home.earthlink.net/~thegardenweasel/shitpants.jpg[/img] Some adults like to join in on the fun too!
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