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Posted: 11/16/2001 5:03:26 AM EDT
[b]Seizing Dictatorial Power By WILLIAM SAFIRE WASHINGTON -- Misadvised by a frustrated and panic-stricken attorney general, a president of the United States has just assumed what amounts to dictatorial power to jail or execute aliens. Intimidated by terrorists and inflamed by a passion for rough justice, we are letting George W. Bush get away with the replacement of the American rule of law with military kangaroo courts. In his infamous emergency order, Bush admits to dismissing "the principles of law and the rules of evidence" that undergird America's system of justice. He seizes the power to circumvent the courts and set up his own drumhead tribunals — panels of officers who will sit in judgment of non-citizens who the president need only claim "reason to believe" are members of terrorist organizations. Not content with his previous decision to permit police to eavesdrop on a suspect's conversations with an attorney, Bush now strips the alien accused of even the limited rights afforded by a court-martial. His kangaroo court can conceal evidence by citing national security, make up its own rules, find a defendant guilty even if a third of the officers disagree, and execute the alien with no review by any civilian court. No longer does the judicial branch and an independent jury stand between the government and the accused. In lieu of those checks and balances central to our legal system, non-citizens face an executive that is now investigator, prosecutor, judge, jury and jailer or executioner. In an Orwellian twist, Bush's order calls this Soviet-style abomination "a full and fair trial." On what legal meat does this our Caesar feed? One precedent the White House cites is a military court after Lincoln's assassination. (During the Civil War, Lincoln suspended habeas corpus; does our war on terror require illegal imprisonment next?) Another is a military court's hanging, approved by the Supreme Court, of German saboteurs landed by submarine in World War II. Proponents of Bush's kangaroo court say: Don't you soft-on-terror, due-process types know there's a war on? Have you forgotten our 5,000 civilian dead? In an emergency like this, aren't extraordinary security measures needed to save citizens' lives? If we step on a few toes, we can apologize to the civil libertarians later. [/b] (continued)
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:04:12 AM EDT
(continued) [b]Those are the arguments of the phony-tough. At a time when even liberals are debating the ethics of torture of suspects — weighing the distaste for barbarism against the need to save innocent lives — it's time for conservative iconoclasts and card-carrying hard-liners to stand up for American values. To meet a terrorist emergency, of course some rules should be stretched and new laws passed. An ethnic dragnet rounding up visa-skippers or questioning foreign students, if short-term, is borderline tolerable. Congress's new law permitting warranted roving wiretaps is understandable. But let's get to the target that this blunderbuss order is intended to hit. Here's the big worry in Washington now: What do we do if Osama bin Laden gives himself up? A proper trial like that Israel afforded Adolf Eichmann, it is feared, would give the terrorist a global propaganda platform. Worse, it would be likely to result in widespread hostage-taking by his followers to protect him from the punishment he deserves. The solution is not to corrupt our judicial tradition by making bin Laden the star of a new Star Chamber. The solution is to turn his cave into his crypt. When fleeing Taliban reveal his whereabouts, our bombers should promptly bid him farewell with 15,000-pound daisy-cutters and 5,000-pound rock-penetrators. But what if he broadcasts his intent to surrender, and walks toward us under a white flag? It is not in our tradition to shoot prisoners. Rather, President Bush should now set forth a policy of "universal surrender": all of Al Qaeda or none. Selective surrender of one or a dozen leaders — which would leave cells in Afghanistan and elsewhere free to fight on — is unacceptable. We should continue our bombardment of bin Laden's hideouts until he agrees to identify and surrender his entire terrorist force. If he does, our criminal courts can handle them expeditiously. If, as more likely, the primary terrorist prefers what he thinks of as martyrdom, that suicidal choice would be his — and Americans would have no need of kangaroo courts to betray our principles of justice. [/b]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:04:52 AM EDT
I know you guys love this stuff.[;)]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:16:05 AM EDT
I don't mind a little oppression, as long as I am the oppressor rather than the oppressed.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:17:14 AM EDT
Just give me a small bewildered African nation. Is that too much to ask?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:20:41 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Major-Murphy: Just give me a small bewildered African nation. Is that too much to ask?
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That's right! Murphwanda. I'll be in charge of the Airborne forces, you control the Ground forces and Navy! GREAT idea! Don Out
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:21:03 AM EDT
If you get that African Nation for Xmas, can I be your "Minister of Social Engineering?"
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:25:57 AM EDT
Boys, you're all welcome in Murphwanda. [img]http://www.zyama.com/baule/600baule.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:27:51 AM EDT
I want to be Minister of Pain.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:29:18 AM EDT
Here's main street of the Capital, Murphongo: [img]http://www.african-edventure.org/current/Mursi.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:32:43 AM EDT
My first social program will be levying an annual tribute of virgin women (hand selected by agents of the MSE) from each village. Said virgins are to serve as the pleasure vessels of The Revered Speaker and Protector of the People, Autarch Murph I, whose urine is as wine in the mouths of the common folk.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:34:12 AM EDT
We could run it as a Roman colony, sort of like Jerusalem. "OK, other than the wine, the roads, and sanitation, [i]WHAT HAVE THE ROMANS EVER DONE FOR US![/i]" "Brought peace" "PEACE, HAH!"
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:34:47 AM EDT
excellent.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:35:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13: My first social program will be levying an annual tribute of virgin women (hand selected by agents of the MSE) from each village. Said virgins are to serve as the pleasure vessels of The Revered Speaker and Protector of the People, Autarch Murph I, whose urine is as wine in the mouths of the common folk.
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Must set up pleasure palaces for the heads of military and social offices, too.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:43:32 AM EDT
Where, where, where.... [img]http://armand.home.sapo.pt/africa/map.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 5:49:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 5:42:55 AM EDT by 11H1P]
Originally Posted By Major-Murphy: Where, where, where.... [img]http://armand.home.sapo.pt/africa/map.jpg[/img]
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Southern Africa, just west of southern Madagascar. I want a change of seasons.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:02:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 5:55:58 AM EDT by Golgo-13]
Originally Posted By 11H1P: Must set up pleasure palaces for the heads of military and social offices, too.
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The Autarch Murph I, whose pores outshine the stars themselves, will reward those of his agents who deserve it. The first lesson for you to learn is that there is neither good nor evil. There is only that which does, or does not, serve the interests of the state.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:06:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13:
Originally Posted By 11H1P: Must set up pleasure palaces for the heads of military and social offices, too.
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The Autarch Murph I, whose pores outshine the stars themselves, will reward those of his agents who deserve it. The first lesson for you to learn is that there is neither good nor evil. There is only that which does, or does not, serve the interests of the state.
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Then I shall cause temples to be built by those we conquer, so that all may bask in the light of his countenance.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:18:35 AM EDT
Major you just make my day. All you fellas that ever were, or are currently in the U. S. Armed Forces heads up. According to the author a Military Trial is a: "Military kangaroo court" "drumhead tribunal" "Soviet-style assination" So there ya go.. thats what he thinks of a Unites States Military Trial.....
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:24:10 AM EDT
Now, if I can just find Idi Amin's phone #, we'll be in business....
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:33:41 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Major-Murphy: Now, if I can just find Idi Amin's phone #, we'll be in business....
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ROTFLMAO!!! He is in charge of food procurement, correct???
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:48:17 AM EDT
I'd confused [whacko] Is Safire a "dickhead-bonehead" or is he a "bonehead-dickhead"? please assist as I am totally confused.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:53:06 AM EDT
The sky is falling!!!!!!! The sky is falling!!!!!!!!! The Constitution is kaput, and Major Murphy is in charge. I wonder if he is gonna FORCE me to worship Krishna now that he's in charge. [}:D]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 6:59:59 AM EDT
I have two words..."pyramid building." What do you think? Has there ever been a better way for the rabble to demonstrate their devotion to their ruler while, at the same time, being to busy to foment unrest?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 7:04:39 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13: I have two words..."pyramid building." What do you think? Has there ever been a better way for the rabble to demonstrate their devotion to their ruler while, at the same time, being to busy to foment unrest?
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[stick] Get to work, damned peasants! Glorify your ruler without whom your existance would be unjustified! You live only for his glory!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 7:12:16 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 7:28:52 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Major-Murphy: Now, if I can just find Idi Amin's phone #, we'll be in business....
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Would you settle for Marion Barry?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 7:40:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 7:33:09 AM EDT by Golgo-13]
Imagine this. One night in the Great House, as the nightly orgy begins, the Minister of Entertainment says: "Tonight, O Great One, we have arranged a most...piquant...amusement for you. Through our efforts, may it please you, you can enjoy watching Sammy Sosa repeatedly smashing Leonardo DiCaprio in the nads with a Louisville Slugger whilst you and your ministers riot amidst the maidenflesh here in such plentitude!" A spotlight illuminates Leo, bound to an x-shaped cross, his nutsack just at strike-zone level. A second spotlight illuminates Sosa, grinning and taking practice swings with a Hank Aaron signature model bat...
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 7:58:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13: Imagine this. One night in the Great House, as the nightly orgy begins, the Minister of Entertainment says: "Tonight, O Great One, we have arranged a most...piquant...amusement for you. Through our efforts, may it please you, you can enjoy watching Sammy Sosa repeatedly smashing Leonardo DiCaprio in the nads with a Louisville Slugger whilst you and your ministers riot amidst the maidenflesh here in such plentitude!" A spotlight illuminates Leo, bound to an x-shaped cross, his nutsack just at strike-zone level. A second spotlight illuminates Sosa, grinning and taking practice swings with a Hank Aaron signature model bat...
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OHMYGAWDIALMOSTPISSEDMYSELFONTHISONE!!!!!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:03:28 AM EDT
And for your further pleasure, Oh Light of the Universe, Idi presents for your culinary delight the sweetmeats, made of the finest cultured American Fascist. We have ,um, *acquired* several Senators sent to us to persuade the Great One to practise American-style totalitarianism. I am told that these are the elite of the ruling class, well fed, and delectible!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:14:48 AM EDT
Oh my sides hurt from laughing! Semper Fi
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:32:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 8:25:27 AM EDT by 11H1P]
We bring to your Magnificent Attention that Richard Gere will be coming before You, Who Outshines Galaxies, for Audience next Tuesday. He will present his imminently flawed "view" that our peasants have "rights" to better treatment, (as if there is any Greater Glory than to slave until death building Edifaces and Monuments to your Magnanimous Manifestation among mere Mortals) and how we should give them a hug. Therefore, it is my Greatest Honor to submit that His Holiness, The Most Terrible Minister of Pain Himself, has arranged for Your Enjoyment a spectacle rivalling that of the Leonardo DiCaprio Feast. Beginning immediately following Gere's presentation, His Immenseness of Darkness will, over the final 8 courses of the Feast, verify in detail the rumors of the gerbil incident. His Agonies will amuse you, and the Minister is said to be preparing Braziers, Tongs, Pincers, Hooks and Knives as we speak.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:39:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 11H1P: We bring to your Magnificent Attention that Richard Gere ...
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Do you know how much it hurts to spray hot coffee out your nostrils!?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:54:36 AM EDT
And so it came to pass that in the 10th year of the reign of Autarch Murph I, whose flatus is as frankincense to the nostrils of his subjects, there came to the Great House emmisaries of a foreign government, they were known as Hillary, Rosie, and Janet. Their business in Murphwanda was to look into such fictions as "human rights" and "violations of international law". The Autarch, praise ye his wisdom beyond wisdom, dealt with them as only one who laughs the laughter of the gods may do. Rosie he delivered unto a battalion of Turkish mercenaries, fresh from the front, to serve as their recreation. Janet he placed in his menagerie of freaks and medical oddities, where she resides to this day. And Hillary...
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 8:58:56 AM EDT
Go Murph! We want Murph!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 9:01:04 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13: And so it came to pass that in the 10th year of the reign of Autarch Murph I, whose flatus is as frankincense to the nostrils of his subjects, there came to the Great House emmisaries of a foreign government, they were known as Hillary, Rosie, and Janet. Their business in Murphwanda was to look into such fictions as "human rights" and "violations of international law". The Autarch, praise ye his wisdom beyond wisdom, dealt with them as only one who laughs the laughter of the gods may do. Rosie he delivered unto a battalion of Turkish mercenaries, fresh from the front, to serve as their recreation. Janet he placed in his menagerie of freaks and medical oddities, where she resides to this day. And Hillary...
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And Hillary placed her golden saber upon the shoulder the Autarch Murph I and transformed him into: LtCol. Murph!!!!!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 9:02:37 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Golgo-13:
Originally Posted By 11H1P: We bring to your Magnificent Attention that Richard Gere ...
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Do you know how much it hurts to spray hot coffee out your nostrils!?
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Yea, Verily, though such pain is as Pleasure in the Service of the Immense Autarch Murph I! Contemplations of the Fate of the most Elite of the Elites, The Royal First Bitch of The Pretender King Clinton and False Monarch Hillary, are for the moment a part of the Unfathomable Mind of the Lightbringer Autarch.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 9:08:27 AM EDT
Originally Posted By ECS: And Hillary placed her golden saber upon the shoulder the Autarch Murph I and transformed him into: LtCol. Murph!!!!!
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Though the Transcendental Reality of THe Autarch Murph I needed no such blessing from the False Prophetess of Blasphemy, upon her arrest by the Unseen Bringer of Justice and Iron-Handed Commander of the State Security Forces, the Immaculate Commander of the Autarch's Holy Palace Guard found that the Golden Saber vibrated and was powered by 4 D-cell batteries...
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 9:48:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 9:43:12 AM EDT by Stealth]
What you guys need is a minister of propaganda and "tourism" and you'll be set. I'd be more than happy to fill that need for a modest fee. Actually, I was thinking on the lines of a piece of action. Say 20% of the take. Hey, it's ok, we can work out the details later. Trust me, I wont let you down. For my first action as Minister I would submit that we feed the people barely enough to survive and build your temples. Simultaneously we gather all the sick, injured and infirm to a centralized propaganda city and let them try and survive there. We'll name the city Utopia or something similar. That should have the desired effect. Next we "invite" members of the U.N., United States and the European community to visit. Simply tell them how we're doing everything in our power to help the people, and pretend to give strategic support in the region (if they ever need it, it's easy to deny it). Presto!! Free food and billions in "aid" to line our pockets and coffers!!!! The people eat for free, medical is taken care of, and the workforce is strong enough to build even greater temples to honor your glorious wisdom. That AND we all get Ferrari's. [:D] I just put wayyyyyyy too much time into that.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 10:01:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Stealth: What you guys need is a minister of propaganda and "tourism" and you'll be set. I'd be more than happy to fill that need for a modest fee. Actually, I was thinking on the lines of a piece of action. Say 20% of the take. Hey, it's ok, we can work out the details later. Trust me, I wont let you down. For my first action as Minister I would submit that we feed the people barely enough to survive and build your temples. Simultaneously we gather all the sick, injured and infirm to a centralized propaganda city and let them try and survive there. We'll name the city Utopia or something similar. That should have the desired effect. Next we "invite" members of the U.N., United States and the European community to visit. Simply tell them how we're doing everything in our power to help the people, and pretend to give strategic support in the region (if they ever need it, it's easy to deny it). Presto!! Free food and billions in "aid" to line our pockets and coffers!!!! The people eat for free, medical is taken care of, and the workforce is strong enough to build even greater temples to honor your glorious wisdom. That AND we all get Ferrari's. [:D] I just put wayyyyyyy too much time into that.
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But with His Most Resourceful Minister Idi Amin, the food situation solves itself. We refer you to a movie (not for the masses of plebians) titled [i]Soylent Green[/i], as these most ignorant of savages willingly Copulate to provide more workers for the Edification of His Luminosity's Eternal Flame, others expire providing sustenance for the next crop.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 10:25:45 AM EDT
You sir are as intelligent as you are manly. You don't need to miss out on a deal of a lifetime. Here at crazy Stealths propaganda emporium we can wheel and deal with the best of 'em. I'll tell ya what, I like you. I don't offer this deal to just anyone, but for you, I'll provide my services for 10% of the take and 3 handpicked um... ladies. Idi is a cool customer and I love those little green crackers. Not only do the non-productive and dying become sustenance for the weary masses, they actually flock to the recycle centers. Now THAT'S the power of propaganda. He must've trained here at Crazy Stealths Propaganda Emporium. Since I have competition, I'll throw in a special bonus just for you.... Not only can I get the genetically inferior and slackers to power your cities, I can do it while they think they are leading productive happy lives. That's right, you guessed it, plugged into a large generator and controlled with software, I can turn a deadbeat slacker peasant into one of these...... : [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Stealth%2Fcoppertop%2Egif[/img] Now I ask you, isn't that worth a measly 10%?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 10:42:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/16/2001 10:35:35 AM EDT by 11H1P]
Originally Posted By Stealth: You sir are as intelligent as you are manly. You don't need to miss out on a deal of a lifetime. Here at crazy Stealths propaganda emporium we can wheel and deal with the best of 'em. I'll tell ya what, I like you. I don't offer this deal to just anyone, but for you, I'll provide my services for 10% of the take and 3 handpicked um... ladies. Idi is a cool customer and I love those little green crackers. Not only do the non-productive and dying become sustenance for the weary masses, they actually flock to the recycle centers. Now THAT'S the power of propaganda. He must've trained here at Crazy Stealths Propaganda Emporium. Since I have competition, I'll throw in a special bonus just for you.... Not only can I get the genetically inferior and slackers to power your cities, I can do it while they think they are leading productive happy lives. That's right, you guessed it, plugged into a large generator and controlled with software, I can turn a deadbeat slacker peasant into one of these...... : [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Stealth%2Fcoppertop%2Egif[/img] Now I ask you, isn't that worth a measly 10%?
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Perhaps the Autarch's Beneficial Scribe and Peerless Historian (Whose Written Word is as Truth Itself) would concur that one of so Surreptitiousness effect would make an effective Minister of Public Knowledge?
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 10:44:59 AM EDT
"Soylent Green is Duracell?"
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 12:52:33 PM EDT
Gentlemen, I am pleased to see the progress we have made today. 1. Pyramids. Excellent. 2. Propaganda Ministry. Excellent. Building sized paintings of the magnificent one will do. Now. About a flag... I'd like something that really captures the spirit of this righteous endeavor. Perhaps some lions, maybe a few shields and spears... ...I don't know. Shall we go for the colonial-dictator thing, or the western-dictator thing? Kenya's is nice, but I'm just not too keen on the colors: [img]http://www.flags.com/dreamimages/Flags/kenyalg.GIF[/img] Mozambique is promising... [img]http://www.flags.com/dreamimages/Flags/mozambiquelg.GIF[/img] Ahh Swaziland: [img]http://www.flags.com/dreamimages/Flags/swazilandlg.GIF[/img] Decisions, decisions... Flags, drapes for the palace, Camoflage for the military.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 12:56:52 PM EDT
I like Swaziland's, perhaps with 3 ARs instead of spears? HA! I just tied it back to the site!
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 1:34:39 PM EDT
Ivory stocks, pistol grips and handguards for our rifles.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 2:11:45 PM EDT
Yes, REAL ivory, not that fake crap. The ivory must come from elephants felled with SPEARs, not firearms shot by INFIDELS.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 2:18:52 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ECS: I'd confused [whacko] Is Safire a "dickhead-bonehead" or is he a "bonehead-dickhead"? please assist as I am totally confused.
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Willam Safire was one of the few journalists writing articles exposing klinton's criminal acts and the GOP loved him. Now because he writes something that goes against the current administration he is subject to ad hominem attacks. Typical.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 2:22:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Imbroglio: Willam Safire was one of the few journalists writing articles exposing klinton's criminal acts and the GOP loved him. Now because he writes something that goes against the current administration he is subject to ad hominem attacks. Typical.
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What does that have to do with a small bewildered African nation? Anyway, here's some uniforms for the troops: [img]http://www.tridentmilitary.com/New-Photos7/kenya.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 2:33:02 PM EDT
I recommend we wall up the entire continent south of Alexandria and Egypt(We might wish to see the pyramids and relics). And convert the entire country to a penal facility where we lock up violent criminals and force them to mine gold and diamonds for us. Just a thought.
Link Posted: 11/16/2001 2:34:20 PM EDT
We'll need breadfruit.
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