Monday night we had an MVC, pregnant driver two passengers. Shortly after they arrived some friends of hers that were coming to visit got into an MVC making a left turn from a right lane just outside the hospital. When the cops showed up to investigate the wreak they arrested everyone from the first crash for outstanding warrants. The driver of the second crash, upon seeing the cops removed his c-collar and backboard and headed for the back door. I stopped him, he refused care. He turned to leave and was promptly arrested for DUI. Everyone involved in both crashes got arrested. When the driver that refused care got to the jail he claimed that he was hurt so they brought him back to be treated. 15 min. turnaround and he was back to the jail.
Head-on collision, one drunk crossed the line and hit an oncoming drunk (but very nice) woman. She was a mess but will be ok. He died shortly after arrival.
I cared for a teen that was found floating face down in a pool. CPR started by bystanders. When I sent him to his room for the night he was doing fine, talking with family etc. Very lucky to be alive. He was wasted and did not know how to swim.
It was a very busy weekend and we were down two nurses but it ended very well for me, none of MY patients died this week.

Edit: Wow, there's a first, I OWN PAGE 11!

Quoted: Edit: Wow, there's a first, I OWN PAGE 11!

fail. edits don't count.



last night was boring as hell. post assignments, two whole calls, neither worth mentioning.

Had a lady call the other day to report that she had given "a person unknown to her" money for marijuana and that this person had failed to deliver. When asked why she wanted the drugs she stated that she "was in a high risk pregnancy and her doctor had advised her to smoke pot to make her hungry and avoid losing weight." Although I informed her that this was illegal multiple times she insisted that she wanted a report made until I informed her that her and the "dealer" would both be charged with a crime. She then mysteriously decided not to say anything further.

How about knuckle dragger stories?

Quoted: Had a lady call the other day to report that she had given "a person unknown to her" money for marijuana and that this person had failed to deliver. When asked why she wanted the drugs she stated that she "was in a high risk pregnancy and her doctor had advised her to smoke pot to make her hungry and avoid losing weight." Although I informed her that this was illegal multiple times she insisted that she wanted a report made until I informed her that her and the "dealer" would both be charged with a crime. She then mysteriously decided not to say anything further.

I hear stories about people calling the cops when they get ripped off in a drug deal, and I always figured, "No way! NO ONE is THAT dumb!"

Then I saw it on COPS.

Ok granted I am not FD or EMT at all was only just security (armed for quite a few years). Was living at the time in an apt in oak forest, IL here on the second floor with my girlfriend (now wife) and there used to live a Cook Co. DoC K-9 trainer with fully marked van in the parking lot. Well there was also this neighbor that was in a wheelchair that was known to be a drug dealer. This is where is starts go get intresting...

One night the wife and I were in the apt and we heard a THUMP from outside...... after a moment we hear it again???? oooooK! I go to the door and crack it open a bit and look out. And guess what I saw... This BIG fat white chick (had to be every bit of 350 + pounds) TOTALLY naked back up a bit then run headfirst into the door where this druggie guy in the wheel chair lives. Ok so I call 911 and while i am talking to the dispatcher  explaining this to her, this female falls onto the ground.

gets better yet still.... this female then starts to scream at the top of her lungs that she is jesus!!! Needless to say she was yelling this so loudly the dispatcher heard her over the phone.  About 2 minutes later there was about 7 squads there mainly from Oak Forest with a few from the neighboring town Midlothian thrown in.  OF FD shows up and finally transports her. Not sure on the final outcome  but Obviously lost it on some drugs.

Quoted: Quoted: The rest are from the "entitlement class" and they call an ambulance for EVERYTHING. They call the ambulance despite having 3-4 brand new blinged out vehicles in the driveway, perfectly suitable to transport whoever wherever for whatever minor malady has arisen. My favorite so far has been a scrape from a tree branch. Hey, while we're used to it in the hood, it's not much better in "richville". The upper scale community where I belong to the VFD I remember getting ambulance calls for: The 50-ish matron type who called 9-1-1, and then met the ambulance, dressed up to visit, with bags on the front porch, because her doctor had told her to be at the hospital for her procedure that morning. The 40 something guy who called the ambulance when his young kid cut their finger trying to whittle with a pocketknife. When the medics asked him why he didn't just run the kid to the ER himself, he got this face and said "what... and get blood on the seat of the Beemer?" They might have more money, but the brains is the same. Or, as an old timer once put it "you can't buy your way out of stupid" <shakes head>

I have a question for you guys. Can you basically tell someone to fuck off and drive their own self to the hospital or are you legally obligated to drive them if they call?

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The rest are from the "entitlement class" and they call an ambulance for EVERYTHING. They call the ambulance despite having 3-4 brand new blinged out vehicles in the driveway, perfectly suitable to transport whoever wherever for whatever minor malady has arisen. My favorite so far has been a scrape from a tree branch. Hey, while we're used to it in the hood, it's not much better in "richville". The upper scale community where I belong to the VFD I remember getting ambulance calls for: The 50-ish matron type who called 9-1-1, and then met the ambulance, dressed up to visit, with bags on the front porch, because her doctor had told her to be at the hospital for her procedure that morning. The 40 something guy who called the ambulance when his young kid cut their finger trying to whittle with a pocketknife. When the medics asked him why he didn't just run the kid to the ER himself, he got this face and said "what... and get blood on the seat of the Beemer?" They might have more money, but the brains is the same. Or, as an old timer once put it "you can't buy your way out of stupid" <shakes head> I have a question for you guys. Can you basically tell someone to fuck off and drive their own self to the hospital or are you legally obligated to drive them if they call?

Here where I run in VA we're legally obligated to take them unless they are a "reliable patient" (ie: not under the influence, not in shock and able to make sound decisions) If they refuse to go and are reliable then we have them sign a "patient refusal"

Today's submission from the East Side:  The Engine ran on a DOA with a TWP medic at a nearby trailer park.  Elderly gent vs shotgun to the chest, self inflicted, with his dong hangin' out.  Don't know for sure what load he was using but parts of him were on the wall behind him.

ETA: Just transported a Somali man with CP.  Somali's came pouring out of the apts. to see why we were there, and there was 1 auto accident as we pulled in when I blew the air horn at a couple of cars parked sideways across the street, talikng to each other.  When I pulled the horn, one guy threw his car in reverse & stomped the gas without looking back, and smashed into another car.  WHile we were loading our patient, another Somali man wanted to know if we could take more than 1 patient at a time. I told him to go back inside & call 911 again. I Was listening to 8 Delta enroute to the ER as guys in Battalion 6 searched for a pedestrian vs train victim.  CPD had a chopper up to assist with IR.  One of the EMS Lts. found the pieces of the victim approximately 150 yards from where the train conductor reported seeing him/her.  I have a feeling it's going to be one of those nights.

we had one of those nights also. when we got to work, my partner and i agreed that it was going to be a fucked up night.


...we got called to the scene of a single vehicle crash, get there and this car has taken out a light pole, telephone pole and a telephone box. turns out it's being driven by a retarded deaf chick. you can't make this shit up.

anyways, the meat and potatoes of this story is she was violent, combative and kicked my partners ass much to the amusement of the cops, firefighters, and myself

(note, she didn't really hurt him but she sure tried)

then we took a 7yo leukemia, diabetes, who knows what else patient all the way to new orleans for some sort of specialist treatment.

Had 75 year old female possible stroke. Farmers wife and strong as an ox and was combative. Had a hell of time just getting one set of vitals. Doc stated no Valium but try and get a 12 lead. hing
Not a good start today.

last night we didn't have much, but what we did have was kinda cool..


rollover MVC, unrestrained driver, a victim of the laws of physics and centrifugal force, flung quite a way. she was pretty banged up, but no major injuries. I guess being drunk really does help you to flop around like a ragdoll and not sustain too many injuries.

I'm not an EMT/LEO/ETC, but this one was related by a friend who used to be a town popo.

Got a call about a chick with a problem at a party.  They get there, out of the house waddles this gal.  She procedes to lay down and spread her legs in the direction of my friend.

Yep, she's got a beer bottle in her snatch and it's stuck.  Suctioned onto her cervix.

Probably the funniest call I ever ran came in as a suicide attempt. We stage 'til PD advises scene secure. Go in there and there is our pt sitting in the chair, pd is standing back chuckling, pt won't speak to us but obeys all commands, pd is baker acting the pt so we load him on the stretcher and load him in the truck. Pt then takes a deep breath and holds it, goes unresponsive for a few seconds then comes back, does the whole process over again. Pt continues to do this as we are getting everything set up, trying to talk to him but he still will not talk to us. Finally after repeatedly asking the pt what he is doing he states that he is trying to kill himself by holding his breath. Didn't work out so well with him. he was getting more and more agitated because his chosen method wasn't working lol.

we haven't really had much of anything noteworthy the past few weeks. stupid bullshit and lots of it.

this weekend i'm on,so hopefully i'll have a story worth telling.

Quoted: Probably the funniest call I ever ran came in as a suicide attempt. We stage 'til PD advises scene secure. Go in there and there is our pt sitting in the chair, pd is standing back chuckling, pt won't speak to us but obeys all commands, pd is baker acting the pt so we load him on the stretcher and load him in the truck. Pt then takes a deep breath and holds it, goes unresponsive for a few seconds then comes back, does the whole process over again. Pt continues to do this as we are getting everything set up, trying to talk to him but he still will not talk to us. Finally after repeatedly asking the pt what he is doing he states that he is trying to kill himself by holding his breath. Didn't work out so well with him. he was getting more and more agitated because his chosen method wasn't working lol.

Quoted: I remember looking at his arm and chest, guy was shirtless, and thinking damn he's big, I'm fixin' to get my ass kicked. Across the room I hear beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, I look over and see my partner sitting on a stool holding the defib paddles. He looks at the guy and says "Get up MotherF*&%er, I dare ya! Guy looks at me and I just smile. Patient just politely lays back and gave no more trouble. The look on his face was priceless.

, I Laughed.

I work in a hospital, non clinical type.  I'm walking to my office and see two nurses talking to this old guy in an elevator lobby.  I kept going but my spider senses said something wasn't right.  Old guy didn't want to stay and have the scope done.  He'd rather go home and die.

1 nurse and I try to get him settled while the other one gets the atavan.  At one point he holds his small suitcase like he's going to hit someone with it.  He's about 6'3" 250, country farmer type but I could have taken him down if I had to.  

We get him seated and I have to kind of pretzel hold his arm while the nurse gives him the shot.  In the interim we have his daughter on the phone and she gives the OK to sedate and restrain if needs be.  The wife actually comes off the elevator and she's ready to let him go home and die.  He's calling me a Judas, and thought I was his friend.  Public safety is called and we have to hold him again to give another shot.

Fast forward 2 hours later.  I check in with the family and the atavan is working great.  He's smiling and laughing and telling me that I'm not really a Judas after all.

This was about a week after I helped with a code blue not 10 feet outside my office where a co-worked had a seizure.

Did I mention that I'm non-clinical?

jd1

Its been very busy the last couple of weeks but nothing good to post. Till last night.....
Had a guy that was really drunk, hit a tree. Claimed that he was not driving, and never got in a wreak. Did not know what he was doing in a trauma center. Anyway, typical asshole, would not keep his leads on, kept removing his c-collar etc. You know the type.
We admitted him. A couple of hours after he went to a room he was reported missing. Shortly after that the cops saw a man walking downtown wearing nothing but a hospital gown. They thought that was odd so they stopped him, called EMS and back he came. Still denied that anything bad happened to him. Last I heard he was tied to his bed.

Ok, someone put stupid pills in the water again this weekend.
We had two crackheads from a deal gone bad. When the shooting ended they were both hit. They drove home to drop off their guns and have a few beers (hey those gunshot wounds hurt!). When they were good and drunk they drove to the ER for more drunken stupidity. Its a crying shame but they will both live.
Another one from a deal gone bad went to another hospital in the area. He had a GSW that went almost all the way through. The bullet was lodged just under the skin on the far side. He wanted the bullet removed so he could make a necklace out of it. When the doc refused he left AMA, went home and called 911. The medics brought him to us. He did not tell us that he had already been seen elsewhere so we did the whole trauma thing. We gave in to his demands and removed the bullet, let him see it and handed it to a waiting police officer. No necklace for him.

Tag

Quoted: Yep, she's got a beer bottle in her snatch and it's stuck.  Suctioned onto her cervix.

One of my good friend's dad is a gyno and he tells some pretty good ones, the most recent involving a pregnant lady.  She was worried about the child hurting as it stretched through the love tunnel, so she proceeded to try to loosen it per se` by stuffing increasingly larger objects in there.  When it gets the point of a rubber cement bottle her 'giner sucked it in and he had to remove it. haha

a bump, to keep this going strong until I can add some Deputy stories...

Quoted: Another one that will stay with me for years, not gross or anything... We get our share of OD's and often they are unconscious or close to it.  But PCP and meth, that's a different animal.  We had EMS arrive with our ambulance patient, she's maybe 100lb and 5'3" but she's got 3 beefy EMS guys working like crazy to hold on in the stretcher.  She's insanely combative for about 3 minutes, then she will pass out cold. She will stay out for about 3-4 minutes, then wake back up and start punching, scratching, biting, etc.  On, off, on, off, like a light switch every 3-4 minutes.  EMS is hanging around trying to help out with restraining her while myself and 4 other nurses are trying start lines, get blood, get her on a heart monitor, VS, get orders for a sedative, restraints, etc. Quick note, I work in a very diverse work environment.  In this particular patient's room, there was a couple of black coworkers, two hispanic EMS guys, an Asian EMS guy, and another  couple white nurses. The lady wakes back up and starts going around the room throw out the most vulgar, racist, hurtful insults she can think of.  She's start on one side and just started working her way around the room.  References to sexual preferences, the N***** word, she's not holding back. I'm the last one she comes to.  And she stops and says, "And you... YOU!  You're the fucking worst of the bunch.  You fucking AGGIE!" ID badge gave me away... img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/Jbays/IDbadge.jpg

About 5 years ago I responded to a unknown med when we pulled up to the house there was a VERY large black man standing there butt ass nekked waving us into the house. I should have known right then and there this was going to be one for the books, anyway we walked in and followed this man to a back bedroom, lying on the bed was a 350-450 lb woman in a grand mal seizure, I asked the man what happened and he said just as serious " well....umm....we was.....uh....you know.... doin it and I think her cummer got hung" WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ???????????????? "I said I think her cummer done got hung" I just turned and walked out of the house and went to the truck, I laughed until I thought I was going to puke, I had tears streaming down my face. So I managed to get a IV and push the Valium to get her "cummer" un hung.

i got dragged behind my ambulance last night.


yes, you read that right.


let me explain. we pull up to the ER, i get out, go to the back, open the doors, help the patient's mom out of the truck. i push the release for the stretcher lock, grab the stretcher and the truck hauls ass forward with me behind it.

it only went a few feet, but it managed to jerk me all to hell, thus causing me to spend the morning in the ER being evaluated, blah blah.

Anyways, as it turns out, a EMS student that was riding on a different truck didn't like where mine was parked, so he decided to take it upon himself to move my truck.

while i was unloading a patient.


fucking idiot.

Quoted: i got dragged behind my ambulance last night. yes, you read that right. let me explain. we pull up to the ER, i get out, go to the back, open the doors, help the patient's mom out of the truck. i push the release for the stretcher lock, grab the stretcher and the truck hauls ass forward with me behind it. it only went a few feet, but it managed to jerk me all to hell, thus causing me to spend the morning in the ER being evaluated, blah blah. Anyways, as it turns out, a EMS student that was riding on a different truck didn't like where mine was parked, so he decided to take it upon himself to move my truck. while i was unloading a patient. fucking idiot.

So how long did said EMS student spend in the ER getting evaluated after you got done with the counseling session?

Quoted: i got dragged behind my ambulance last night. yes, you read that right. let me explain. we pull up to the ER, i get out, go to the back, open the doors, help the patient's mom out of the truck. i push the release for the stretcher lock, grab the stretcher and the truck hauls ass forward with me behind it. it only went a few feet, but it managed to jerk me all to hell, thus causing me to spend the morning in the ER being evaluated, blah blah. Anyways, as it turns out, a EMS student that was riding on a different truck didn't like where mine was parked, so he decided to take it upon himself to move my truck. while i was unloading a patient. fucking idiot.

Why is an EMS student driving the ambulance?? When I was in EMT and Medic school I was NEVER allowed to operate the ambulance, by either my EMS program OR the systems I rode out with. I'd imagine its the same way at nearly every other program nationwide. There needs to be a SERIOUS come-to-Jesus meeting with the student, their EMS program director, and whoever was precepting them at the time because that kind of behavior is TOTALLY unacceptable.

Quoted: Quoted: i got dragged behind my ambulance last night. yes, you read that right. let me explain. we pull up to the ER, i get out, go to the back, open the doors, help the patient's mom out of the truck. i push the release for the stretcher lock, grab the stretcher and the truck hauls ass forward with me behind it. it only went a few feet, but it managed to jerk me all to hell, thus causing me to spend the morning in the ER being evaluated, blah blah. Anyways, as it turns out, a EMS student that was riding on a different truck didn't like where mine was parked, so he decided to take it upon himself to move my truck. while i was unloading a patient. fucking idiot. Why is an EMS student driving the ambulance?? When I was in EMT and Medic school I was NEVER allowed to operate the ambulance, by either my EMS program OR the systems I rode out with. I'd imagine its the same way at nearly every other program nationwide. There needs to be a SERIOUS come-to-Jesus meeting with the student, their EMS program director, and whoever was precepting them at the time because that kind of behavior is TOTALLY unacceptable.

you're right. and hopefully, something will happen about it. there were incident reports filed, managers woken up, etc etc.

i figure he'll probably get kicked out of class and fired from the company.. at least, that's what i'd like to see happen.


realistically, he'll probably get a suspension from work, and recycled into the next class or something.

FAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He needs to be kicked out of class for that, the only way a student should drive is that he is employed with the service he is doing rotations and he should not be driving during them anyway.

Quoted: Quoted: So how long did said EMS student spend in the ER getting evaluated after you got done with the counseling session? +1

i asked the supervisor if i could take him out back for 10min instead of any other formal punishment.


supervisor did agree that he needed it, but couldn't authorize it

Had a shooting tonight. Some dude kicked in a lady's door, and blasted her with a .45. House was out in the middle of nowhere too.

3 shots fired, 1 hit. Glanced off her right wrist, and entered into her lower back.

Vitals were stable on scene, but, not really sure what happened after we loaded her onto air med.

Today's lesson; Don't accept a blow job from an epileptic.


That is all.

Quoted: About two years ago on Ft. Hood we had a call to assist EMS at a unit in 1CD.  Nothing big but EMS always wants the police there when they go to the barracks at night.  Well, some young E2 who was constantly screwing up had extra duty that night.  He told the CQ he was going to the latrine.  Quite some time later the CQ goes to find him.  Not in the bathroom, not in the offices, where could he be?  The CQ eventually found him in the mop closet.  Seems that he went in there to "rub one out".  The problem was is that jerking off in the mop closet just wasn't stimulating enough for this winner.  So he put the handle of a toilet brush up his ass!  Well, if you've been in the military you know that the supply issue toilet brush has a plain jane wooden handle.  This unit was more high speed.  Somebody had bought a nice, plastic handled brush.  And the end of the handle had a hook molded into it!  Needless to say, the brush was stuck and the PV2 was too scared/embarrassed to get help!  So EMS had to take him out face down on the stretcher with a sheet over him.  Can you say tent?  It was the most hilarious thing I'd seen in years.   At the ER, the doc apparently decided that the hook had caught up on something important and surgery was required.  According to the ER nurse, they gave him an epidural (just like pregnant women get) and while they waited for it to take effect, out popped the brush!!!  I hope they moved this kid to another post because there is no way in hell to ever live something like that down. BTW, I'm a cop, not EMS.  All medical jargon, lingo and followup are as told to me by medical personnel.  I wasn't at the hospital for this, I got it all from the nurse.  So don't flame me if something sounds wrong or odd.

That happened in my company, with my friend on CQ. The PVT called out to him from the latrine that he had a problem, and my buddy goes in to find the toilet brush up this kids ass. Kid ended up getting kicked out, imagine that. Never would say why he did it.

Quoted: Today's lesson; Don't accept a blow job from an epileptic. That is all.

Tommy, you can't leave us hanging with just that.

THAT has epic written all over it

Quoted: Last shift - don't drive your Envoy into the back of a Semi - especialyl when the gallon size ziplock of weed is visible to the cops on scene after we pull you out. Actually, that was station 2's crew - we were dealing with a guy who got his ass kicked as the gas station and kept insisting he'd never been in the City. I kept looking down at my t-shirt (complete with department logo) and asking him "ORLY?"

Madison PD found one of our frequent fliers all coke'd out in an alley one night.  When they asked him if he knew where he was he said yeah XXXX (our city, 2+ hours away)  Needless to say Madison PD had no fucking clue we even existed.

height=8

Quoted: height=8 Quoted: height=8 Quoted: tag

haven't updated this thread in a while.


had an interesting couple of nights. wednesday..or was it thursday, we had 5 wrecks.

rollover, car vs 18 wheeler, car vs ditch, motorcycle dismount, and something else i've completely forgotten.


last night (notice i'm posting this at noon) we got called out at 1:30am to take a patient to fucking houston. ...that's a 4 hour drive at minimum, hauling ass.

We get just past lake charles, and we roll up on a wreck that JUST happened. ...we get the truck stopped, i pop open the back door just in time to see one of the vehicles burst into flames.


...anyways, the burning vehicle had no occupants and had been parked on the side of the interstate for about a week, according to the local FD.

the driver of the truck that hit it claimed that the parked vehicle slammed on its brakes in front of him.


yes he was drunk.

Quoted: haven't updated this thread in a while. had an interesting couple of nights. wednesday..or was it thursday, we had 5 wrecks. rollover, car vs 18 wheeler, car vs ditch, motorcycle dismount, and something else i've completely forgotten. last night (notice i'm posting this at noon) we got called out at 1:30am to take a patient to fucking houston. ...that's a 4 hour drive at minimum, hauling ass. We get just past lake charles, and we roll up on a wreck that JUST happened. ...we get the truck stopped, i pop open the back door just in time to see one of the vehicles burst into flames. ...anyways, the burning vehicle had no occupants and had been parked on the side of the interstate for about a week, according to the local FD. the driver of the truck that hit it claimed that the parked vehicle slammed on its brakes in front of him. yes he was drunk.

Well, it did slam on its brakes in front of him.  Just a long long ways in front of him.

Quoted: Quoted: You should meet the guy in real life, he's a fucking riot. Met him at an ARFCOM get together this winter. Just don't ask him if he wants mushrooms for his steak. Mushrooms are fungus. Athletes foot is fungus. Therefore... Coming to urban tactics?

DUDE! I am right with you!  Fungus? No thanks!

I don't eat arthropods either. Thats right - you people who think crabs and lobsters are sooooo yummy? They are just giant bugs! Like ants or grasshoppers!

So we have had a few winners the past few nights since the hurricane came through.


Worked a 24 hour shift immediately following the hurricane, and there were two really memorable calls.

One was at a really run down hotel. We get the call, and have to ask for it to be repeated.  A woman called the ambulance because she's itching and she's hot. Evidently, she was sick of being cooped up in a hotel room with her cousin. Yeah, that's right. Oh, she also had a mosquito bite, that makes things even more serious.

So we get there, and find that she's shit all over herself. We wait for her cousin to clean her up, and then we get her on the stretcher and take her to the hospital. When we arrive, they have us take her into the triage area since she has no life threatening issues. She hears this, and absolutely freaks the fuck out.

We get into the waiting room, and grab a wheelchair for her. She refuses to get off of our stretcher. She tells us to call the cops, she wants to go home, she aint sittin in no waiting room, etc etc.

Well, she got off our stretcher, with the assistance of gravity. And, she ended up in that wheelchair after all, since a couple extra sets of hands assisted us in picking her up and placing her in it. Oh, and someone strapped her to it.

..then the cops showed up. She was not amused. They explained that they were not taking her back to the hotel, or anywhere else..and that we as the ambulance crew have fulfilled our obligations, since she did call the ambulance and she did request and agree to be transported.




Now for the real winner. We got called to assist another unit (to transport, more or less since their truck was busted).  We get on scene just as it starts to rain, and find the crew and their patient on the covered front porch of some abandoned, yet still occupied building. Great, homeless people.

So this guy's half laying, half sitting on the ground and eating sugar packets. Claims they're his only food. As if that weren't strange enough on its own, the guy reaches into his pocket, removes two LifeStyles latex condom packets, opens them, and then eats the  damn things right there in front of us.

Seriously. The fucker ate 2 condoms.


So then we stood the guy up and started walking him to the ambulance. I noticed something pointy and shiny in his back pocket. I give him the usual questionnaire ("So, do you have anything that's gonna poke me, stick me, cut me, blow up, or otherwise piss me off?" ) and he says yes. I ask him what and where, and he starts reaching. I tell him that shit ain't gonna work, so he stops and I go about disarming him. I found a sharpened phillips screw driver in his back pocket, which was the original shiny thing I saw. I then found a home made shank of sorts, made from an ice pick that had a handle made of tape, and what appeared to be blood stains all over it.

Nice.

We also found a lighter, some sort of drug smoking apparatus, and the rest of the box of condoms, 8 or so...uneaten as of yet.

We bagged up all his crap, took him to the hospital, turned over the weapons and whatnot to the hospital security and hightailed it the fuck out of there.

What a shift.

Quoted: So we have had a few winners the past few nights since the hurricane came through. Worked a 24 hour shift immediately following the hurricane, and there were two really memorable calls. One was at a really run down hotel. We get the call, and have to ask for it to be repeated.  A woman called the ambulance because she's itching and she's hot. Evidently, she was sick of being cooped up in a hotel room with her cousin. Yeah, that's right. Oh, she also had a mosquito bite, that makes things even more serious. So we get there, and find that she's shit all over herself. We wait for her cousin to clean her up, and then we get her on the stretcher and take her to the hospital. When we arrive, they have us take her into the triage area since she has no life threatening issues. She hears this, and absolutely freaks the fuck out. We get into the waiting room, and grab a wheelchair for her. She refuses to get off of our stretcher. She tells us to call the cops, she wants to go home, she aint sittin in no waiting room, etc etc. Well, she got off our stretcher, with the assistance of gravity. And, she ended up in that wheelchair after all, since a couple extra sets of hands assisted us in picking her up and placing her in it. Oh, and someone strapped her to it. ..then the cops showed up. She was not amused. They explained that they were not taking her back to the hotel, or anywhere else..and that we as the ambulance crew have fulfilled our obligations, since she did call the ambulance and she did request and agree to be transported. Now for the real winner. We got called to assist another unit (to transport, more or less since their truck was busted).  We get on scene just as it starts to rain, and find the crew and their patient on the covered front porch of some abandoned, yet still occupied building. Great, homeless people. So this guy's half laying, half sitting on the ground and eating sugar packets. Claims they're his only food. As if that weren't strange enough on its own, the guy reaches into his pocket, removes two LifeStyles latex condom packets, opens them, and then eats the  damn things right there in front of us. Seriously. The fucker ate 2 condoms. So then we stood the guy up and started walking him to the ambulance. I noticed something pointy and shiny in his back pocket. I give him the usual questionnaire ("So, do you have anything that's gonna poke me, stick me, cut me, blow up, or otherwise piss me off?" ) and he says yes. I ask him what and where, and he starts reaching. I tell him that shit ain't gonna work, so he stops and I go about disarming him. I found a sharpened phillips screw driver in his back pocket, which was the original shiny thing I saw. I then found a home made shank of sorts, made from an ice pick that had a handle made of tape, and what appeared to be blood stains all over it. Nice. We also found a lighter, some sort of drug smoking apparatus, and the rest of the box of condoms, 8 or so...uneaten as of yet. We bagged up all his crap, took him to the hospital, turned over the weapons and whatnot to the hospital security and hightailed it the fuck out of there. What a shift.

Spermicide seasoning FTW!

Copied and Pasted from a post I made in the BOTS forum:

Gustav devastation. It is unreal. I watched houses fall in front of me, trees topple power lines, signs from business start blowing down the street. I saw a tree limb that I'd estimate weight easily 2000lbs blow down LA Hwy 1 literally 200yds in front of me at a speed of about 30mph. This storm didn't show any mercy where I work, at all.

Trailers were demolished. Houses were demolished. I have seen 100yr+ oak trees knocked over like a 5th grade bully picking on a kindergartner. Roots and everything. It is unreal. The entire area is without power, but it is slowly starting to come back up. The don't anticipate power back on in the area I work for 4-6 weeks. Which means I'll likely be working every day until they get that. I have never seen so much destruction firsthand, nor have I ever been witness to it as it was unfolding before.

A lot of people I know are taking pictures and posting them online of the damage they see. I refuse to, because I don't want to keep seeing it. I want it to go away and I want to forget it. I have never seen so much raw devastation, and I know my area wasn't the hardest hit. We are making progress and finally have 99% of our roads clear. There are very few powerlines on the roads, and there is only one tree that I know of blocking a road at this time.

I had to give away $400+ worth of food from my freezer because I won't be at home for days or weeks to deal with it. I live in an apartment complex, and thankfully there is no damage. I have no reason to go there though, since it will be hot, dark and uncomfortable. I'm staying at the fire station in the city I work because they have a generator running their entire building, so at least I'm comfortable.

People here are starting to get extremely restless. Yesterday they were fine, but today we are getting calls of shots fired, fights being started and burglaries taking place. So far they are all bogus, but before too long, I think they'll be legit calls. The people have no power, no food, and very little water.

I'm one of the few deputies prepared for a situation like this, and have enough food with me to live out of my unit for at least 2 weeks.

As for how I actually feel, I don't know how to describe it. Shocked and in awe. I'm in a funk. I live by myself, and have no family within 100miles of me, so I'm quite alone. I have only a very few close friends, most of whom are in LE, so I can't visit with them since they work for other agencies. I am working 12hr+ days every day, with no end in sight.

I can't tell if I am apathetic, depressed, or just don't give a damn. I know my temper is getting worse with people who are acting an ass. I know I am beyond the point of exhaustion. I know I'm more demoralized than I ever have been. I know I have no guidance from my superiors other than to "patrol". This is the first time I've worked in this job during something this major, and have no idea what exactly I am supposed to be doing.

I haven't had a good meal, slept in a comfortable bed, or had a nice long hot shower in days. I don't know when I'll be able to do any of those things again. The other division of my department is getting good food, but they aren't providing it to my section. Today they had jambalaya, and we had MRE's. We'll have MRE's tomorrow, and the day after and so on, until we run out of them I guess.

I can't sleep well, and haven't had a good night's rest since before the storm. I'm already at about 10 out of the past 11 days worked, and don't foresee an end to that anytime soon. My LT and SGT told me to expect at least 2-3 more weeks of every day. They keep emphasizing the nice paychecks, but money doesn't mean jack shit to me.

I am on edge at work 100% of the time because the only light to be had is from my unit as I drive around. I can't even go hide somewhere to relax for a few minutes because you can't see anywhere as soon as you turn your lights out.

Anyway, I'm rambling now, and hope that this is a dcent enough response. My mind is mush, and has been for at least the past 2 days now. I really need to find a way to get myself back together, but don't know how right now.

Saturday I had just left the ER after dropping off a drunk. Pull out onto a busy 2 lane, and a half mile from the hospital I see a 2 y/o kid running southbound on the north bound shoulder. Hit the lights and stop traffic, the kid runs right to the rig.

I got him, no injuries. THe kid only speaks Arabic, not surprising in this neck of the woods. P.D. is notified, and some people come along looking for the little guy. No language problems til the cops show up, then all of a sudden, everybody forgets how to speak Engish.

First question the cop has is" Who was watching the little guy?"

You could have heard a pin drop. I left the little guy with the police, and the cops will take care of all the paper work. Sometimes, it's a good shift after all.